WeTried Translations

Translator: ZERO_SUGAR

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◈ I Pulled Out Excalibur

Chapter 393

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Merlin (4)

Najin let go of his sword.

He did not use Excalibur's summoning function. He simply dropped it and walked toward her, completely defenseless.

Tap.

For a swordsman, letting go of their sword means defeat. It signals that they have no will to fight, that they have been broken by their opponent. But not for Najin, not now.

Because right now, Najin was not a swordsman.

He stretched out the arm that had been swinging a sword and reached forward. What his outstretched hand seized was not a blade. Gripping Merlin's arm, Najin smiled.

"Come out. Stop burying yourself in a place like that."

Not as a swordsman, but as Merlin's Companion, as a fellow traveler who had adventured alongside her, Najin stood before her. And so what he needed to point at her was not a sword. Hostility even less so.

Whoosh.

Najin pulled Merlin's arm. The dark red barrier wrapped around her shattered with a brittle crack.

Come out.

A scene like this does not suit you. Your story should not end this way.

So come out. From that place.

Seized by Najin, Merlin stumbled forward. She lurched and nearly pitched over, and Najin caught her. Held in his arms, Merlin sucked in a sharp breath.

"Let go. You can't be near me."

Fear had seized her all at once. She had no idea what effect being close to the Blight Star might have on Najin. She moved to push him away, and then her eyes wavered.

"You......"

Her palms were soaked in blood. Not Merlin's blood. Najin's. Only then did Merlin lift her head and look him squarely in the face.

"Nice of you to finally show me your face."

Najin laughed and made light of it. But from where Merlin stood, his body was in no shape to be laughing. He had pushed through the resistance of a twelve-star Blight Star with his bare hands. There was no way he had come through that intact.

Merlin's lips trembled.

Watching Najin bleed because of her, she bowed her head. She was too afraid of hurting him to push him away, but she could not bring herself to lean into his arms either. Caught between the two, she spoke in a shaking voice.

"You're hurt."

"It wasn't easy, I'll admit."

"You're bleeding. You almost died. Do you understand that?"

"I didn't die, so that's what matters, isn't it?"

"That's not something you can just brush off. I almost killed you. I......"

The word I died in her throat. She could not get the rest out. Najin was the one hurt, yet Merlin felt the pain as if her own body had been torn open instead.

"I, because of me......"

"......"

"Why won't you kill me? Before long I'll lose control again. This time I might not be able to hold it back."

This was only a brief lull. Once time passed and her strength recovered, Merlin would start raging again. And when that happened, she had no confidence she could contain the Blight Star.

"Kill me. This is your last chance."

She pleaded with him.

"All you have to do is drive Excalibur through my heart. Simple as that."

"Merlin."

"Please, just this once, can't you do what I ask?"

Merlin raised her head. Face streaked with tears, completely wrecked, she looked at Najin.

"Well."

And Najin said:

"That would make it a story where only Merlin loses. After waiting a thousand years, an ending like that seems a bit off, don't you think? I have no intention of forcing that kind of role on you. I don't want that for you."

"What are you......"

"So here is what I propose. Merlin."

Najin smiled.

"We both lose something."

"......What?"

"You said it yourself, didn't you. That in all your dreaming, you never once imagined me."

Merlin had said that.

"I was absent from every 'what if' Merlin ever made. All of that is the result of trying to carry it alone, isn't it? A future you tried to solve by yourself?"

"Of course, because who else would......"

Who else would carry this.

There's no one else who even could.

That was what she meant. And to that, Najin pointed at himself.

"That someone is right here."

As if it were nothing at all.

"If you can't control it alone, share it. Wouldn't half be manageable? You could hand over a bit more if you'd like."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying I'll carry it with you."

Najin opened his hand.

His stars rose above his palm.

Challenge, Dragon-Slaying, Breakthrough, Indomitable, Funeral March, Jovial Discourse, Selection, Adventure, Confidence, and... Tomorrow.

Without him quite noticing, Najin's stars had reached ten. Merlin, who had once stood so far above him she seemed untouchable, was now close enough that an outstretched hand might reach her. And Najin would surpass even Merlin and climb still higher.

"Ten now, but soon eleven, twelve, thirteen and beyond, until I stand higher than Arthur."

Najin smiled.

"I will become stronger than you."

To become stronger meant being able to carry more. He spoke as though taking a share of Merlin's burden was the most natural thing in the world, nothing particularly difficult about it.

"So lean on me. Cause me as much trouble as you like. Isn't that what living together means?"

Merlin bit her lip.

"It's dangerous."

"It will be, yes."

"Your stars might be tainted. You could lose their purity, be stained and muddied. The master of Excalibur must always be clean. You might not be able to wield it anymore."

"Then I'll beat up Siegfried and steal Gramr, I suppose. It's not like that sword is the only blade in the world."

"You can't just say it so casually...!"

Najin let out a small laugh.

"Joking. That won't happen. I wasn't chosen by Excalibur. There's no way I'd lose the ability to wield a sword I chose for myself."

And:

"The story I've built isn't so weak that your star could taint it. Who knows, maybe my star will end up dyeing your Blight Star instead. I like the narrative of purifying the Blight Star better than the narrative of killing it."

"The odds are low. Failure is more likely."

"Worth attempting all the same."

"Why......"

Merlin asked him.

"Why are you willing to take on a danger like this?"

"You keep asking something obvious."

He answered as though stating a plain fact.

"I already told you."

I am your Companion. You are the Companion who walks the same path, lives the same life, as me.

"That's enough."

As reasons to stake my life for you go.

2.

Every argument failed her.

The conclusions she had reached after long ages of deliberation, the thousand words and ten thousand gestures she had prepared for just this contingency, all the performances, all of it had become worthless.

"......"

Merlin did not know what to say. She did not know how to persuade someone who spoke of an impossibly difficult method as though it were the simplest thing.

He had already made his decision.

He had steeled himself to act.

Merlin looked into Najin's eyes. She had seen that look before, many times over. She had seen it in Arthur, in her companions, in heroes who had made up their minds and would not be moved.

People with eyes like that could not be persuaded.

They had already reached their conclusion.

"You, really."

Merlin rubbed her eyes. The tears would not stop. Her face must have been a mess. She drew in a shuddering breath, then thumped Najin's chest with her fist.

"Do you have any idea how hard that choice was for me, what it cost me to decide. I'd barely managed to let go of that wanting......"

It did not hurt. She struck him with limp, weak blows, and Najin held still and took every one.

"Why do you make me want more? You make me wish for things again. Why do you keep giving me hope."

"Wanting... well, do you have a wish?"

"......"

"Let's hear it. What is it?"

Merlin worked her lips silently. In spite of everything, she ducked her head slightly as if embarrassed, and spoke.

"Don't laugh."

A strangely familiar exchange.

The moment she spoke her wish in a voice barely above a murmur, Najin burst out laughing.

"I told you not to laugh."

Even at the chilling tone, Najin could not stop himself. He barely managed to swallow it back and let out a short breath.

"Sorry. I've heard this wish before."

"You've heard it before?"

"Yes. From you."

He had heard it before. Najin had heard that same wish from the human Merlin as well. Perhaps that meant the essence of them was truly the same. He nodded.

"A dream like that, well, that's not so hard."

So then.

"Let's go together. Merlin."

Najin held out his hand.

Merlin hesitated, wavered, and then slowly extended her own.

Hand clasped in hand.

Najin thought back to what he had seen in the Black Spire, Anton and Lapis. They had given up everything for each other. They had each carried half of the other's heart, and because each was everything to the other, they had been able to share a single star.

Then what of himself and Merlin.

Similar, yet they could reach a different ending.

From the moment Najin's inner world had taken shape, a certain unremarkable Grand Mage had always been there at its center. She had always been in Najin's inner world, present throughout every step of his journey.

At every moment when each of his ten stars was born, Merlin had been with Najin, and she had not been absent from his story even once.

That was why she was his Companion.

So then.

He could share his stars. Najin willingly lent his stars to the one who had walked every step of the journey with him. Over the stars she had used to suppress the Blight Star, his stars shone. Two beings shared a single, complete constellation.

The Blight Star and the Dawning Star collided.

They clawed at each other, wounded each other, crashed into each other, and still they did not part. The clasped hands did not let go.

"You know."

Wrapped in warm starlight, Merlin opened her mouth with some hesitation.

"I'm going to be a bother."

She confessed it.

"I'm a much more troublesome woman than you think. I get jealous easily, I have a greed / desire to possess all, I panic over nothing, and sometimes, or maybe often...... I might pester you to hold me."

Merlin looked at Najin. The starlight of his stars filled her eyes, which had been clouded until now.

"I'm going to lean on you a great deal."

She asked him.

"Is that all right?"

Instead of answering, Najin took Merlin's hand, as if to say he would never let go no matter what happened. Only then did Merlin smile. She smiled while she cried. She rose onto her tiptoes.

A brief kiss.

Their lips met and then parted. Merlin looked at Najin and smiled with her eyes. As if nothing in the world could make her happier, she tilted her head. With a soft rustle, her blue hair slid down over her shoulder.

"I love you."

Merlin whispered into Najin's ear.

"I love you."

Forever.

With the light, the Eternal City began to crumble.

3.

The Eternal City was crumbling.

A thousand years of dreaming was about to end. As the line between dream and reality blurred, Merlin closed her eyes. With them closed, she faced herself.

There stood the one who had watched it all.

And perhaps, in some ways, had lived it alongside her.

She shrugged as if she had known this was coming, and said:

"Didn't I tell you? I said you wouldn't be able to persuade him. I was sure of it."

"......So it turned out."

"That's the kind of person he is. That's why I like him."

The two of them looked at each other.

"Was the adventure enjoyable?"

"More than I could say."

"Any regrets?"

"There were, but not anymore."

"The waiting of the last thousand years, was it rewarded?"

"Mm, I'm honestly not sure yet. But I feel like it will be. The adventure isn't over."

Facing each other, they smiled.

"Right. It isn't over."

"It will go on."

"And it will keep going."

The Merlin who lived in reality took a step toward the self who had lived in the dream. She pulled her into an embrace. At a glance the other looked younger, but any distinction of age was meaningless in this moment.

Both were herself.

Holding herself close, Merlin patted her own back.

"It'll be all right."

"Will it really be all right?"

"He said it would be, didn't he. He's the kind of person who keeps his promises no matter what. And even if it isn't all right, so what? You and I can put our heads together and find an answer somehow."

"......You seem more grown-up than me."

"I've experienced more than you."

With their foreheads touching, they laughed.

There was no more need to divide. No more need to keep the self who lived in the dream separate from the self who lived in reality. From now on, she could dream while walking through the world.

"I might have regrets."

"I think I'd regret denying who I am far more."

And above all, Merlin curved the corner of her mouth upward.

"I don't want anyone stealing my first meeting with him. A stolen first kiss would bother me even more."

At that answer, the fairy Merlin burst out laughing. It was such a perfectly her reason.

Merlin reclaimed her twelfth star.

She reclaimed the self she had forgotten.

What had always been one, then split into two, became one again. The thousand years of loneliness the fairy had felt was diluted by the joy the human had found over the past two years. The wounds the human had carried were mended by the stories the fairy had heard from Najin.

Each filled the other's empty places.

Whatever gaps remained unfilled would simply be filled going forward. The journey was not over yet.

Blink.

Merlin woke from a long dream.

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