WeTried Translations

Translator: ZERO_SUGAR

Editor: LiteraryGirl

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ I'm an Infinite Regressor, But I've Got Stories to Tell

Chapter 220

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The Slanderer II

At some point, the "Witch Hunt" anomaly began sweeping across the Korean Peninsula. If it had just been limited to a few stupid posts on the internet, it would have been fine. But the terrifying part of this anomaly was something else entirely.

“I knew this would happen.”

“What?”

“I said I knew this would happen.”

“What the hell? You agreed to enter the Void too, didn’t you? Who could’ve predicted such a bizarre anomaly would pop out from there...?”

“I knew it would happen! And yet, you just waltz into the Void without a plan. Tsk, tsk.”

“......”

This kind of exchange started happening everywhere across the country, where those infected by this anomaly would, whenever something went wrong, pull the “I knew it all along” and act like they were some impartial and objective third party.

It was a truly strange phenomenon.

Ever since the world began to be consumed by the Void, wasn’t the range of things humanity could predict reduced to the size of a hand?

The attitude required of people living in our times was much simpler:

‘I didn’t see this coming.’

‘Since I don’t know, I’ll prepare as best as I can.’

‘If I don’t know, I’ll take the hit and learn as I go.’

Yet, this anomaly was boldly standing in opposition to such common sense.

“I knew it would happen.”

“And I knew you’d act like you knew it.”

“Well, guess what! I knew you’d pretend to act like you knew that I knew!”

“I’ve known since forever that you two would be doing that whole ‘knowing-it-all’ routine!”

Even when a brand-new Void emerged or when completely unheard-of news reached them, people inexplicably began to tout their foresight.

At this point, I had to admit that this anomaly was more formidable than I initially thought. But so what if I did?

I scratched my head and patted the shoulder of our internet’s strongest power source. “Ah-ryeon, good work.”

“Ah, y-yes.”

“I don’t think responding to every bit of slander is worth the effort anymore. You did great, now stop.”

“Ah... Yes, guild leader. Haa... I-I knew it would come to this...”

“......”

That day, a small bump appeared on the back of Ah-ryeon’s head. It would serve as a nice external conscience chip for Sim Ah-ryeon, who only nurtured triangles and squares in her mind.

In any case, the situation was becoming slightly, but steadily, more serious. Inside the smaller guilds, which had been operating smoothly until recently, signs of division were starting to show. Verbal altercations between citizens were also frequently observed in the city.

It was still at a manageable level, though. This wasn’t a Ten Legs-level anomaly that outright massacred people. However, it was obvious that if left unchecked, it could develop into a much more serious situation.

“Um, guild leader.”

“Yes?”

“I think this is a little different from a ‘Witch Hunt.’ No, actually, I think it’s completely different.” Ah-ryeon rubbed the bump on her head.

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, it’s happening not just on the internet, but in real life too. A witch hunt usually... works more sneakily. At least, it’s done from behind the mask of anonymity.”

“I don’t know... Modern witch hunts can easily happen in real life too. Have you heard of the Dreyfus Affair?”

“D-Dreyfus...?”

“Yes, it’s what made Émile Zola’s J’Accuse famous.”

“Oh, right... I know about that. The, uh, famous 100k subscriber YouTuber, Emile Zola...”

...Seriously?[1]

Ah-ryeon’s lips twitched as she mumbled, “A-anyway, witch hunts usually involve blending into the crowd, the masses, hunting while hidden... right?”

“True, that’s usually the case.”

“Right. But this anomaly feels different. For starters, going after the Demon King of the National Road Management Corps or the Villainous Witch of Samcheon World feels... a little...”

“A little?”

“It just doesn’t have that underhanded vibe,” she muttered under her breath.

A question mark floated above my head, but Ah-ryeon ignored it and continued rambling.

“In SG Net, even when people hide behind the mask of anonymity, there’s always the risk of getting found out by the Constellations. So people don’t just go around crossing the line. That applies even more to real life. But here... defying the two most powerful figures on the Korean Peninsula? It’s oddly... too upright. There’s no stink of corruption...”

“Ah-ryeon, what are you even talking about?”

“Guild leader, you’re getting too hung up on the keyword ‘witch hunt’ just because the Great Witch of Samcheon World was attacked.”

What?

“Plus, even if you’re a villain on SG Net, you’re just a Three Kingdoms parrot. You’ve got no experience causing real havoc. This isn’t a witch hunt.”

“Then what kind of anomaly do you think it is?”

“Here.”

Ah-ryeon tapped her smartphone screen, pulling up a comment from SG Net.

- Anonymous: I knew this would happen.

It was the phrase that appeared most frequently when investigating this anomaly.

“This is the key,” Ah-ryeon said, pointing at the comment. “The whole ‘acting like they know everything.’ So this isn’t a witch hunt anomaly. It’s... arrogance or, perhaps... a know-it-all.”

“A know-it-all?”

“Yes. Maybe... we should call it a pseudo-intellectual anomaly. These guys are always looking for a chance to show off what they supposedly know. They aren’t hiding in the crowd. They’re trying to stand out and, whenever they get the chance, act like they know everything... It's closer to a ‘pseudo-intellectual anomaly.’”

That was Sim Ah-ryeon’s expert analysis, as a self-proclaimed and internet-renowned expert.

If there’s one advantage I, the Undertaker, had, it was that I knew how to listen to experts.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and just like that, even OldManGoryeo had moments where you could learn something from them.

Ah-ryeon was completely immersed in the idea of teaching me about anomalies.

“O-of course, guild leader, I understand why you’re confused. It kind of does have a witch hunt vibe at first glance... There’s some inciting and even a bit of avoiding responsibility. A-and guild leader, no matter how hard you try to act young, there’s a limit to...”

There was a brief moment where I considered adding another external conscience chip to her.

“It’s probably because the anomaly is evolving in real-time. Soon enough, it’ll likely expand into the much broader category of ‘internet culture.’”

“Yes, yes.”

Though she muttered, "I still don’t get why it’s spreading into the real world, but..." under her breath.

“Anyway, if we leave this alone, I think humanity will eventually turn into something like... forest critters. Awakener supremacy and Awakener hate will grow much stronger than they already are...”

The thought alone was horrifying.

‘The Sim Ah-ryeon-ification of humanity!’

Chills ran down my spine. Humanity deserved a more dignified demise than that. We had to act swiftly and stamp it out early.

“How do we stop it? Please share your esteemed wisdom, wise OldManGoryeo.”

“Hehehe... Eh-heh-heh...”

Ah-ryeon fidgeted with her fingers, clearly pleased.

“W-well, the best way is... to crush those know-it-alls so thoroughly that they can’t say a word! Just wham! Flatten them so hard that they can’t even mutter, ‘I knew it would happen!’ Only you, guild leader, can pull off such a feat... Show them something so spectacular, so extraordinary that no one could possibly criticize it...!”

“Extraordinary?”

“It has to be something absolutely unexpected! Instead of ‘I knew it would happen,’ people should be left saying, ‘I really didn’t see that coming!’ A shocking, huge event that blows everyone’s minds...!”

“Shocking, huh.”

Hmm.

I opened the notepad in my head and carefully jotted down the advice from Professor OldManGoryeo.

While I was doing this, I heard a voice, slightly urgent, telepathically ringing in my head. It was the Saintess.

[Wait a moment, Mr. Undertaker... No matter how knowledgeable Sim Ah-ryeon might be about internet culture, isn’t it risky to take her advice at face value...?]

At that moment, \Ah-ryeon drove the final nail in the coffin.

“If it weren’t you, guild leader, I wouldn’t be suggesting this strategy at all. After all, even when it comes to General Yi Sun-sin, people pull off their pseudo-intellectual garbage all the time. It’s just how the world works...”

“Hmm.”

“But guild leader, aside from me, you’re the greatest person on this planet! So I’m sure you’ll show us a solution so brilliant and unexpected that even this lousy anomaly couldn’t have anticipated it!”

“Hmm.”

“I believe in you, guild leader...!” Ah-ryeon clenched both her fists tightly in determination.

I nodded. “Alright. Just trust me, Ah-ryeon. This guild leader will create a scene so unprecedented, no one could’ve possibly seen it coming.”

“Hehehe! Yes!”

Watching the same scene through my eyes, the Saintess sighed quietly.

[Why is it that you torment Sim Ah-ryeon every day, but when it comes to something important, you lose your composure and let her sway you like this...?]

First things first, I selected the most heavily infected by the pseudo-intellectual anomaly and had them rounded up.

A total of 360 people.

That number wasn’t random—it was a deliberate choice. When Socrates was sentenced to death in ancient Athens, the vote tally for his execution was exactly 360. In short, 360 symbolized mob rule and mass psychology.[2]

Not stopping there, I went ahead and carved a Greek-style temple out of stone pillars using my Aura. Whether this anomaly was better defined as pseudo-intellectualism or witch hunting, this temple had now become the perfect altar to summon it.

“Undertaker, how dare you kidnap us and tie us up! I knew you’d end up like this!”

Murmurs and complaints started to rise. The people who had been kidnapped and bound by me were now making a racket.

“Even in this lawless age, this is too much! I knew it was coming!”

“This is an Awakener’s tyranny! Abuse of power! Just as I expected!”

“I knew it from the moment you and the National Road Management Corps were conspiring to take over the Peninsula. Tsk.”

“Was it Dang Seo-rin who ordered you to do this? I knew it! I knew there was something fishy going on between you two!”

“See? Put a war hero on a pedestal, and they’ll just turn into a dictator. I knew it would happen!”

What is this? Since when did so many people awaken to Clairvoyance? As far as I knew, there were only two Prophets in existence.

‘Clearly, this is abnormal.’

These people, after all, were survivors of the apocalypse. They had sharp instincts and outstanding judgment. If the Undertaker kidnapped them and tied them up in some suspicious Greek temple, they should’ve immediately sensed that something was off. And yet, instead of grasping the gravity of the situation, they were busy complaining about my actions, proudly proclaiming they had predicted it all.

It was obvious that their minds had already been deeply corrupted by the anomaly.

“Everyone, please be quiet,” I announced using the paper megaphone I made.

“What?! You want us to be quiet in a situation like this?!”

“Are you trying to silence the people?!”

“Dictator! Dictator! Dictator!”

“Go ahead, kill us! See if you can!”

The people erupted in shouts. Skipping over the repetitive outbursts of “I knew it,” I continued.

“I’m not here to kill any of you. However...” I motioned toward the side, where the National Road Management Corps operations team leader, the silver-haired psychopath, stood silently. “If Team Leader Yu Ji-won here loses her temper and kills someone, there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

“......”

“......”

The temple air instantly stilled.

Most psychopaths kept their tendencies in check, hiding their nature behind a facade. But Yu Ji-won was a different breed. Once she was assured that figures like Noh Do-hwa or the Regressor wouldn’t abandon her, she dropped all pretenses and unleashed her full psychopathic tendencies without hesitation. She would slash people apart without a second thought, as long as she had both justification and necessity.

It was for these reasons that, even in the apocalypse, the Korean Peninsula managed to maintain some semblance of law and order.

“Now, take a look at this Aura.”

I raised my sword, Do-hwa, and lifted it to the sky. Then, I poured every bit of aura I had into it.

―――!

The dark aura swallowed all sound as it pierced the heavens.

The clouds torn asunder by the Aura were dyed black, turned to storm clouds. In that broad daylight, a patch of the night sky appeared, as if a hole had been ripped through the atmosphere.

This was the result of pouring every ounce of my power into my Aura.

“......”

“......”

Clap.

Clap, clap, clap.

Slow clapping broke the silence.

There was no need to turn around to check. It was Ji-won, clapping with a blank expression.

Ignoring her flattery, I turned to the 360 captives. “Well, what do you think?”

“Y-you’re just intimidating civilians with brute force!”

“Ha! That’s nothing more than a show of Aura. It’s no different from showing off your muscles!”

“Research shows that excessive Aura in combat can actually reduce efficiency...”

“I knew it. I knew exactly what kind of person you were.”

The anomaly paused for a moment but still continued to casually wag its tongue. More precisely, the people corrupted by the anomaly kept wagging theirs.

I muttered to myself, “As expected, this isn’t enough.”

“Shall we execute them, Your Excellency?”

“How can I execute people who were just unlucky enough to be infected by the anomaly? No, let’s move on to the next plan.”

If an Aura showcase wasn’t enough, I had no choice but to use my trump card. The Korean Peninsula didn’t just have Ah-ryeon, the villain OldManGoryeo, as its top power source.

I uttered the name of the second ultimate weapon.

“Ji-won.”

“Yes.”

“Bring the Sword Marquess here.”

If an Aura showcase wasn’t enough, then fine.

From now on, I’ll being showing you the Sword Marquess’s incredible, jaw-dropping rebirth technique.

Footnotes:

[1] The Dreyfus affair was a political scandal in which treasonous acts were pinned on an innocent man with the help of higher-ups in the French military, who suppressed exonerating evidence and used evidence they forged to accuse him. Journalist Émile Zola’s open letter to the press J’Accuse...! played a significant role successfully pressuring the government to pardon the man.

[2] Socrates was convicted officially of impiety against the gods and corrupting the minds of the Athenian youth. However, his trial was most likely organized for speaking out against prominent leaders of the Athenian government and encouraging his students to think critically of “truths” given to them.

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