WeTried Translations

Translator: ZERO_SUGAR

Editor: LiteraryGirl

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ I'm an Infinite Regressor, But I've Got Stories to Tell

Chapter 306

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The Distributor II

Question:Who would react as follows when informed about the true nature of the second-hand shopping mall "Toad House"? (Hint: It’s a member of the Regression Alliance.)

"Ah, I see. You've found another damn Anomaly somewhere. Truly impressive. Let's seal it immediately..."

The correct answer was Noh Do-hwa.

"The existence of this site must never be revealed to the public. Let's keep it a secret and remain silent..."

"Uh, can I ask why?" Seo Gyu timidly inquired.

Back when he debuted at Busan Station, Seo Gyu would curse at anyone who pissed him off, but in front of Do-hwa, he kept his mouth shut.

To be fair to him, anyone with common sense would flinch when facing her. Her gaze had a certain power that forced you into deep self-reflection, making you wonder, Did I have some grudge against this person in a past life?

"It's a natural question. The risk is too great—it could easily become a tool for the perfect crime..."

In one, smooth motion, Do-hwa lowered her smartphone and showed the screen to us. Displayed there was a product listed on the shopping mall.

[Yoo Jung-don's Heart]

[Place of Origin: Sinuiju]

"As you can see, Toad House sells all sorts of organs, from hearts to duodenums. Now, let's say—and I won't name names—someone buries a person they dislike in the ground..."

Why are you looking at me while saying it?

"Then, I proceed to add eyes, left arm, right arm, brain, heart, and so on, all body parts, to the cart and hit the 'Pay Now' button. What do you think will happen...?"

"Uh."

"Making a person disappear without a trace is a piece of cake. Moreover, the body parts sold on this site are all from people who were once alive..."

That's right.

The left hand of Park Sang-hyun that I ordered as a test, or the heart of Yoo Jung-don that Do-hwa just showed us—they all belonged to real people.

In other words...

"Wouldn't the families go mad...?"

In this desolate and brutal world, many have lost family members or loved ones. Most of them couldn't even retrieve the remains or belongings of the missing. With nothing left to bury, they had no choice but to bury their memories deep in their hearts.

"Using this site is simple. You just enter the name of the family member you lost in the search bar. Then a part of that family member's corpse will appear..."

"Ah."

"A good citizen might willingly offer their own left hand to buy back their lost family member's left hand. But, hmm. Isn't there a smarter way...?"

Realization dawned on Seo Gyu's face.

I spoke up in his stead.

"That's right. There will inevitably be cases where people kidnap others to sacrifice them in order to retrieve their family members."

Professional brokers might even appear, advertising, "We'll find your family's remains for you," while secretly abducting ordinary people with no connections to sell their organs.

"After all, the world will only fall further into the apocalypse, and the number of missing persons will only increase, never decrease. Human sacrifice is always a blue ocean market."

"Ugh."

Seo Gyu’s expression then twisted in disgust.

Similar incidents had already been discovered several times, namely with Village Bus No. 44 and the organ transfer bus.

"Well then, let's keep the existence of Toad House a secret forever and handle it through SG Net as we have been doing—"

If the story had ended there, it would have been a natural conclusion, but if that were the case, I wouldn't have introduced it in the first place.

"Um, Guild Leader."

"Hmm?"

Just as the meeting was about to adjourn, Ah-ryeon tugged at my sleeve.

"What is it, Ah-ryeon?" I asked.

"Well, um... Over there."

She glanced around. Still in the meeting room were Ji-won, Yo-hwa, Dok-seo, and Seo Gyu, who had paused to wait for me.

"Can you lend me your for a moment?"

I sent her a confused look.

"Uh, come on."

I lowered my head, and Ah-ryeon tiptoed to whisper in my ear, "Um, Toad House. It's a shame to completely seal it off, so can't we just use it ourselves?"

"Hmm?"

"Well, you know. When people die, if they don't get a proper funeral, they turn into the Hollow, like the Ten Legs...? There are a lot of the dead in the Monster Waves too. I think that's been a long-standing concern for you, Guild Leader."

She was right.

As mentioned before, the reason I came to be known by the alias of Undertaker was that I initially went around recommending to people, "Do you know about Time Seal? It's a great way to log out of the reality game." But now, it's because I'm recognized as a funeral expert.

Those who received a funeral from me never turned into the dead. Despite appearances, I'm a high-value talent, you see.

"So?"

"Well, couldn't we use me?"

"?"

"Things like hearts or brains are beyond me, but arms or legs... Even if they're gone for a while, they'll recover quickly... Even if it hurts when they're cut off, if we know in advance, we can numb the pain with anesthesia or something..."

"??"

"Hehe. Actually, I was a bit disappointed with Village Bus No. 44. If you go in there, you die immediately, right? So only those who are truly determined to die can use it. But with this Toad House site, I think my healing abilities could cover it!"

"Stop," I commanded, bewildered. "Ah-ryeon. You're saying you'll accept requests from families, sacrifice your own limbs, and help them find the remains of their missing loved ones? Even though you know full well that having your limbs cut off on Toad House will hurt?"

"Yes!"

"Oh."

Several options presented themselves here. I could easily imagine what routes would unfold depending on which option I chose.

1. Wow, that's a really great idea. Let's do it right away.

First, all the families who have lost loved ones and carry the weight of their grief would flock to Ah-ryeon.

“Saintess! Please find my father!”

“Yes. I will heal your wounds, even if scars remain.”

Ah-ryeon smiles brightly.

Already revered as the Saintess of the North for periodically participating in the final defense line where humanity's fate hangs in the balance and casting AOE heals, Ah-ryeon would now become the Saintess of All.

The problem is that we also need to consider the perspective of the Anomalies. Every time Ah-ryeon retrieves the remains of a hundred, a thousand, or ten thousand missing persons, Toad House would accumulate hundreds or thousands of "Ah-ryeon's Left Arm" and "Ah-ryeon's Right Leg."

There's no worse inventory than this.

“G-Guild Leader! It's a disaster!”

“Hmm?”

“An Anomaly made from my arms and legs has appeared! Like the Hecatoncheires from Greek mythology![1] It even copied my healing ability, so even if you cut off its arms, they grow back. It's disgusting... What do we do?”

Outcome of Option 1: The birth of Ah-ryeon's shadow Anomaly. The emergence of the Thousand Legs, a superior version of the Ten Legs. The end of the world.

Thus, Option 1 was clearly out. Next.

2. Oh, our Ah-ryeon, always picking fights on internet communities, has now grown to care for others? Truly impressive.

Common sense would dictate that this was the right path, but the villain OldManGoryeo should never be judged by common sense. I can confidently say that her psyche is even more twisted than Do-hwa's.

As an Ah-ryeon psychology expert, I immediately saw through her intentions.

"You brat. You want me to suffer while watching you sacrifice yourself, don't you?"

"Ah..."

"You're hoping I'll say, 'That's enough, you've done enough, your pain hurts me more than anyone else's sorrow,' aren't you?"

"Ah, ah, ah..."

"You! Truly a flower that blooms by devouring people's malice! Now you plan to suck in even my goodwill and feel satiated, don't you? Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"Nyeh heh heh..." Ah-ryeon fidgeted with her fingers while looking up at me. "G-Guild Leader, you seem to like me too much. It's a bit creepy..."

"What's really creepy is your mindset."

"Hahaha, Ah, it hurts, Guild Leader—"

I performed the "Terror Fist Spin," a specialty of Shin-chan's mom, and Ah-ryeon went spinning, flailing her arms around.

I sighed inwardly. It was a mystery how a sensible person like me got tangled up with such a strange kid.

"...Hmm? Guild Leader?"

Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind.

The plan to sacrifice Ah-ryeon to help families retrieve their loved ones was absurd. But maybe we could create a substitute?

"Wait. Saintess, could you call Commander Noh and Ha-yul? Tell them to come back to the meeting room."

[Yes, understood.]

Although the two had already left the meeting room, they hadn't gone far. Hearing the Saintess's Telepathic message, they quickly returned.

Do-hwa frowned deeply. "What now? I have outpatient appointments scheduled after lunch, so I'm quite busy today..."

"We have something to test. This Toad House shop. Do we really need to offer 'real human body parts' as a sacrifice?"

Do-hwa's glasses tilted, gleaming, as she asked, "What are you talking about...?"

"Ha-yul will make doll parts, and you, Commander Noh, will create prosthetics from them. We'll equip these prosthetics and offer them as 'sacrifices.'"

It wasn’t just Do-hwa who responded this time. All my other comrades’ eyes widened. The Saintess, who was participating remotely, must have been surprised too.

"Uh, hyung. Will that work? Even if it's an Anomaly, wouldn't it be able to tell the difference between real and fake?"

"No,” I said, shaking my head. “Precisely because it's an Anomaly, it can't distinguish between real and fake. Those things fundamentally see imagination and reality as the same. Even if it's a prosthetic leg made from a prosthetic, if the wearer feels the same pain and sensation as a real leg, the Anomaly is likely to judge it as real. And one more thing."

My voice grew stronger.

"Think of the Southern Campaign, Seo Gyu."

"Huh?"

Seo Gyu made a confounded face, but I continued.

"Back in the day, Prime Minister Zhuge Liang, who carried the fate of Shu on his shoulders, had to halt his army before the fierce rivers of the Southern Barbarians. The Southern Barbarian guides said, 'If you cut off a person's head and offer it, the river's wrath will subside.'"

"Ah,” Seo Gyu hummed in understanding. “So it wasn't nonsense but a reference to The Three Kingdoms."

"Is there a difference between the two? Right now, you're saying, 'It's not A, but A,' you know..." Do-hwa snarked.

"What did the Prime Minister do then? Did he cut off the heads of innocent soldiers and offer them to some pseudo-deity of the river?” I asked, knowing this was too important to stop now. “No. The Prime Minister respected the customs of the Southern Barbarians while cleverly avoiding the evil practice of human sacrifice, and even gave birth to the menu item known as dumplings."[2]

"G-Guild Leader, you're having another crazy episode..."

The atmosphere of great admiration for my brilliant idea had somehow completely dissipated.

"Well, Commander Noh? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"I wish I didn't..." Do-hwa muttered a curse. "Anyway, it makes sense. There happens to be a death row inmate missing an arm. Let's test it on him..."

We all rushed down to the underground prison of the National Road Management Corps. There was an elevator, but since it had appeared on its own without our installation, we absolutely couldn't use it.

Seeing Ji-won among our group, the prisoners behind the bars screamed.

"Hyaaaak! Silver hair! The executioner with silver hair!"

"Save me! I was wrong! Wrong, I swear! I lived a deplorable life!"

"Just kill me!"

Everyone looked at Ji-won, who merely tilted her head, seemingly unaware of what was going on. We also turned our gaze away without drawing attention to it.

"Hey, you. Come out for a moment..."

"Hyaaaak!"

"Shut the hell up. If you keep making noise, I'll arrange a cozy private cell date with Team Leader Yu..."

The death row inmate became very quiet.

Ha-yul assisted in creating the prosthetic arm, which Do-hwa then refined with precision.

An ordinary prosthetist would have taken days to make a plaster cast, wait for it to harden, and so on, but the collaboration between the two Awakeners got the job done in less than 30 minutes.

"Try it on..."

"O-okay."

Snap. The prosthetic was fastened with a leather belt.

Ji-won had brought along some soil without needing to be told and created a Toad House mound, into which we placed the inmate's prosthetic.

The prisoner, trembling and not understanding the situation, followed our instructions.

"T-Toad, Toad, I'll give you an old house, give me a new one..."

"Damn it. You got the lyrics wrong. Do you really want to die...?"

"A-ahhh! Sorry! I’m Sorry! Toad, toad! Give me a new house, and I'll give you an old one!"

The death row inmate frantically shouted and pressed the "Pay Now" button on the Toad House second-hand shopping mall displayed on his smartphone.

Then, the prisoner screamed.

"Hyaaak! M-my arm! My arm! Aaaack!"

Perhaps forgetting that we were watching, the prisoner rolled on the floor.

But none of us, members of the Regression Alliance, paid attention to the inmate's pitiful flailing.

It was gone.

"Wow... G-Guild Leader. It really disappeared."

The prosthetic arm that had just been attached moments ago had vanished as if it were merely a phantom limb all along.

We dug through the Toad House mound of soil, but no trace remained.

A pop-up window appeared on the smartphone's shopping mall screen.

[Payment completed.]

As the death row inmate's screams echoed through the underground prison, all my comrades silently looked at me.

I nodded.

"Ji-won."

"Yes, Your Excellency."

"Compile a list of all the missing persons reported by families so far. Also, send out notices to those who haven't reported, asking them to write down the names of the missing at the nearest National Road Management Corps office."

"Understood. I'll get right on it."

The Monster Wave. An infinite Anomaly that always brings about the end of the world.

Half of the Monster Wave's strength comes from the dead—the endless waves of corpses.

A strategy to counter it may have just been discovered.

Footnotes:

[1] The Hecatoncheiresfrom Greek mythology are three giants whose enormous bodies were made up of fifty heads and one hundred arms.

[2] Legend has it that when trying to cross the rivers to the Southern Barbarians, Zhuge Liang was forced to choose between failure, death, and sacrificing the heads of 50 fifty to appease the ravenous river gods. Instead, he cooked dumplings in the shape of human heads and tossed them into the river, which the gods accepted, allowing him to successfully cross the raging tides.

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