WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 101: 101
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A gigantic wave of light surged straight ahead.
A blue beam of destruction poured forth.
-KRAAAAAAAAAAH!
A vast pillar of blue light shot forward in a straight line.
Everything in its path was annihilated.
-KRAAAAAAAAAAH!
Countless buildings and pieces of rubble.
The Ghouls charging toward us.
Even the Black Mages beyond them.
All of them were swallowed by the mass of light and vaporized.
-KRAAAAAAAAAAH!
It was as if the massive light itself were an eraser.
As it advanced, it completely erased everything blocking its path!
-Kugugugugu...!
After the brief blast, the blue radiance subsided.
Silence returned.
I lifted my head and took in the sight before me.
Everything directly ahead of me had vanished.
The buildings, Ghouls, and Black Mages had all been swept away and vaporized by the wave of light, leaving behind a massive open path.
Even part of a mountain beyond the distant horizon had been punched straight through.
I couldn't help being impressed.
"Hyeji! Look at this! It melted and vaporized everything ahead from an insane distance!"
"Uh...?"
"Whoa, holy shit! How many kilometers is the range?! It must've gone at least several dozen kilometers while annihilating everything in its path. This is crazy. It's incredible. It's like firing an Energy Wave...! Would it travel even farther if I narrowed the muzzle's diameter?"
"Jiho, what on earth is this? No, does this even make sense?"
"Hyeji, what should I name this technique? Should I call it the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon? Or Magic-Energy Wave? Or should I go classic and call it a Mana Cannon? Mana Cannon, «Final Spark» would be good too! Come to think of it, Marisa was a wizard too!"
"...Who's Marisa?"
"You don't know Kirisame Marisa, a human with the ability to use magic? Tsk tsk. Please indulge in some fandom culture and play some bullet-hell shooters, Hyeji. Enjoy some culture in your life."
"..."
Anyway, it was incredible.
A light that advanced while annihilating everything in its way!
Like a technique from one of the shonen manga I'd read as a kid.
Or the laser cannon of a space battleship in an SF movie.
I'd gained the power to fire a huge beam in a straight line and erase everything it hit!
"Hyeji, could you call me Kakaroot from now on? Marisa would be fine too."
"What are you even talking about...? Anyway, you seem to really like your new magic."
"Of course I do!"
-Iing Iing!
"Iing Iing says congratulations on learning a new magic."
"Thanks, Iing Iing!"
I felt great.
Wasn't firing destructive beams every man's dream?
There was a reason shonen manga protagonists were always firing energy waves and things like that.
Its destructive power was immense, and its range was absurdly long.
With this technique alone, I could easily wipe out even large groups of enemies from a vast distance!
'Super-Fireball is more efficient for simple destruction, but Mana Cannon would be better for sweeping across the ground from far away.'
Super-Fireball had overwhelming physical destructive power and a huge lethal range.
But I had to drop it from close by, which placed a lot of restrictions on its use.
My Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon, on the other hand, had a range of dozens of kilometers and annihilated everything in a straight path.
If I used it to sweep across the ground, I could carry out destruction even more effectively.
To put it simply, Super-Fireball was specialized in smashing everything apart with brute force.
Mana Cannon could precisely and overwhelmingly carve out only the part I wanted from a distance.
Good.
My combat power had grown even stronger.
Anyway, I had killed every enemy on Floor 37.
"All right, Hyeji. Start collecting the loot."
"Okay. Let's go, Iing Iing."
-Iing Iing!
Whoosh.
Hyeji and Iing Iing floated into the air with telekinesis.
They would now clear out the loot from the remaining barracks and fortress.
There was a problem, though.
"Jiho, it looks like there'll be quite a bit less loot. A lot of the eastern buildings disappeared because of that magic you used."
"..."
"At least only the outer part of the barracks vanished. It's a miracle you didn't hit the fortress."
Mana Cannon, «Final Spark» had such absurd power and range that it had completely erased part of the Military Base in one long straight line.
Loot from dozens of buildings had vanished along with it.
There was no avoiding some losses.
'Still better than Super-Fireball. Let's drink to that.'
Since its lethal range was limited to a straight line, the damage was far less severe than Super-Fireball, which would have turned the entire area to ashes.
Anyway.
After finishing our loot collection, we headed for the Escape Portal.
[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 37)]
[You have completed Tower Floor 37.]
[You have defeated 5,213 Ghouls (100).]
[You have defeated 31 War Black Mages (5,000).]
[Points are being calculated.]
[Tower Floor 38 has been unlocked.]
[Returning.]
I had learned a useful new magic.
I'd faced those blasphemous War Black Mages who refused to believe in this Prophet.
And I'd earned plenty of Points and loot.
It had been a fruitful clear in every way.
* * *
After returning to reality, I opened my status window as usual.
[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 38)]
[676,300 Points]
There were a full 670,000 Points.
I muttered quietly.
"670,000 Points... I was disappointed that I only earned zero Points yesterday, but now it finally feels like I'm pulling my weight...!"
"It seems yesterday's lack of Points was bothering you more than you let on."
"Of course it was. As the head of King Korea, how shameful is it that I failed to bring home even one Point...!"
"What's this about being the head of a household now?"
"I am the head of King Korea. The citizens of King Korea are my children. That's right. I have married the nation...! I have married the nation!!!"
"Do you think you're Elizabeth I or something, Jiho?"
"I am."
Yesterday, I had only earned zero Points.
There had been no Ghouls, and the ordinary Black Mages had been so dazed by my Prophet act that there was no one left to kill for Points.
But my Prophet act didn't seem to work on War Black Mages.
From Floor 37 onward, War Black Mages would appear in large numbers alongside ordinary Black Mages.
The catastrophe of coming home with zero Points probably wouldn't happen again.
Anyway, War Black Mages...
"Those pathetic bastards give five thousand Points each."
The Points I got from killing one War Black Mage amounted to a whopping five thousand.
That was as many Points as fifty Masters!
It made sense, though.
They moved swiftly all over the place while continuously firing Magic Bullets. They used defensive magic too, and if things went south, dozens of them gathered together to fire high-powered joint spells.
They must have been extremely strong opponents for ordinary people to face.
Of course, to me, they were nothing more than pathetic commoner trash mobs.
Five thousand Points each.
They really were admirable little things.
I should treat them well when I meet them next time.
Anyway.
"Well then, I should..."
"You're going on Hunter Gallery, right? I'll head home now."
"Goodbye, Hyeji. Good work today. Have a good night, Iing Iing!"
-Iing Iing!
"Oh, right. Jiho, when are you going to use that Reverse-Aging Potion..."
"Goodbye, Hyeji!!!"
"..."
After seeing Hyeji and Iing Iing off, I took a picture of the loot piled up in the yard.
Then I quickly wrote a post.
[Post Title: Newbie Hunter... went to Floor 37 today...]
[Author: Blue Dot]
Newbie Hunter... went to Floor 37 today...
It was like a fantasy Military Base.
Just like I heard, there were War Black Mages there...
But those War Black Mage bastards.
They were blasphemous assholes.
Can you believe they attacked me instead of believing in me, the Extreme Lunatic Hell Heaven Holy Divine Prophet Hunter?
Those insolent bastards!
They dared point their staffs at this Prophet???
They thought they could act tough just because they had AT Shields???
So I just killed them all T_T
Trying to have a magic battle with this body, who possesses the ability to use magic just like Kirisame Marisa...
It was far too disrespectful!
So I used Mana Cannon, «Final Spark» and annihilated them all.
Magic is all about firepower, after all!
Anyway, today's earnings!
31 War Black Mages.
5,213 poor Ghouls.
For a total of... 676,300 Points!
On top of that, I got 213 Medium Magic Stones.
The metal I picked up seems to weigh around two tons too...
Total earnings of roughly 13.353 billion won!
There are dozens of potions I farmed too, but I don't know their market price, so that total doesn't include the potions.
Hehe, I finally earned over ten billion won in a single day.
And my assets are multiplying too because I made a patriotic bet by shorting the exchange rate.
Before long, I'll be an Extreme Lunatic Hell tycoon with assets worth over one trillion won!
Elon Mengsk's assets were around 2,600 trillion won, right?
I've finally caught up by about 1/2,600...
That's 0.0385 percent...!
I've finally made it into the hundredths of a percent!
Just wait, Elon Mengsk!
I'll clean up every piece of loot in the Tower!
I'll take over the energy industry with the Extreme Lunatic Hell Power Plant!
I'll swallow the medical industry with Extreme Lunatic Hell Pharmaceuticals!
Before long, I'll surpass your wealth!
I made a lot of money today.
I should treat myself to a classy steak.
└You're writing weird shit again today, Crazy Dot.
└This guy was doing a martial arts concept for a while, and now he's doing a wizard concept? lol
└Damn it, Blue Dot! What the hell can't you do! You wield attack helicopters, martial arts, holy power, and magic! You're too versatileee!!!
└Blue Dot must like Touhou Project. He used to make Reimu jokes, and now he's making Marisa jokes.
└└What's Marisa?
└└How do you not know Kirisame Marisa, an ordinary magician who lives in the Forest of Magic and is a human with the ability to use magic, you fucking nerd?;
└└Hunter Gallery has so many nerds, tsk tsk. So what the hell is Mana Cannon, «Final Spark», the enhanced version of Kirisame Marisa's Spell Card, Love Sign «Master Spark», you ultra-fucking nerds?
└└Look at all the nearly dead Touhou fans crawling out because it got mentioned for the first time in ages lol
└Whoa, assets worth a trillion won? Blue Dot is seriously insane... He must make so much money. A trillion is one thing, but having a trillion in cash would be absolutely crazy, right?
└└It really would be crazy lol. There are probably only a few dozen people in Korea with a net worth over one trillion won, and most of them emigrated.
└└What would life be like with a trillion won in your bank account...
└└Boo, Blue Dot, you've got so much money, buy us some burgers, you bourgeois bastard. If you're an Extreme Lunatic Hell rich guy, show some generosity to poor commoners like us.
└└For real... Having a trillion won and not buying us even one burger is crossing the line.
└Blue Dot, start handing out burgers on the gallery right now!
└Ah, fuck, the exchange rate dropped and I'm screwed... I converted all my assets into dollars, and my money disappeared in an instant. Why the fuck is the exchange rate crashing because America signed some currency swap or whatever?
└└lol, you traitor, are you coming to your senses now?
└└Seriously, if you were a patriot, you should've held won. Why did you convert it to dollars~~~!
└└Blue Dot: Didn't I tell you this ages ago? If you've got dollars or other foreign currency, convert it to won immediately. It's not too late even now, so if you have foreign currency, hurry up and convert it to won. After I save King Korea and rescue this country's industry, economy, national defense, and medical care, the exchange rate will drop below 1,000 won. It's not too late. Buy won right now.
└└Fuck, it sounds impossible, but he's shown us a lot so far... I'm exchanging my money even now.
└But seeing it like this, Elon Mengsk really is insanely rich. One trillion won is already crazy, so what the hell is 2,600 trillion...
└└Do you think being the world's richest person is a joke?
└└Blue Dot: It's fine. I'll make over 3,000 trillion won soon and beat that Elon bastard, so just wait.
└└Blue Dot, you're impressive, but wouldn't beating Lord Elon be a little hard? Maybe if you really made something like a Hair Loss Treatment.
└└Blue Dot: Already made one.
└└There you go forcing another ridiculous claim.
└└Blue Dot: What do you mean forcing it? This Extreme Lunatic Hell Alchemist has already made not just a Hair Loss Treatment, but a Mental Illness Treatment, a Weight-Loss Treatment, an aphrodisiac, and a sleeping potion too. I'm making a company and starting to sell them soon.
└└Bullshit.
└└Blue Dot: Bullshit...? Are you saying I might be lying?
└└Correct, Alchemist.
└└Blue Dot: What the hell.
...
The comments kept pouring in.
My blood boiled.
"These uncivilized commoners...! They still can't believe the words of this Extreme Lunatic Hell Alchemist! When do they intend to open their eyes?!"
Did they intend to believe me only after I founded a company and started selling real products?
That won't do.
I'd thought of a shortcut to sell medicine without long, tedious clinical trials.
But the shortcut I had in mind worked on the assumption that everyone already knew how effective my medicine was.
First, I had to advertise through Hunter Gallery.
Yet these damn Hunter Gallery users didn't believe me at all...
They were completely useless!
I frowned as I read the comments.
Then, suddenly, I saw something.
└What the fuck is with the president.
└What??? Why isn't the president bald anymore???
└Did you really make a Hair Loss Treatment? Why is the president's hair so thick?
└Isn't it a wig?
└? Why are people suddenly talking about the president?
└└The president is giving a national address on TV right now. It's live, and the Hair-sident's hair is ridiculously thick.
└???
└Did Light Light Light really make a Hair Loss Treatment?
└Come on, no way. He must be wearing some kind of undetectable wig.
Comments were flooding in in real time.
Why were these people live-commenting a broadcast in my post's comment section?
But the president?
'It seems the president has finally appeared before the public with a full head of hair.'
It seemed the president was giving a national address.
Of course, the president's thick hair must have been caught on camera.
People must have remembered my claim that I'd made a Hair Loss Treatment and gathered in my post.
I grinned.
"The timing couldn't be better."
The president had appeared on TV.
That meant everyone would learn that my Hair Loss Treatment really existed!
I immediately went to the living room and turned on the TV.
Then I saw it.
-"Dear citizens."
Beyond the TV screen was the president, appearing in the Blue House press conference room.
The hair on his head was thick.
It shone with a healthy luster.
With his hair now thick and lustrous, he continued.
-"The government is pleased to announce that we have successfully concluded a standing currency swap agreement with the United States."
-"With this agreement, we expect the exchange rate to stabilize substantially at a lower level in the near future."
-"The unstable foreign exchange market will return to normal, and the burdens on citizens and businesses will be eased even further..."
The president's announcement concerned the standing currency swap agreement with the United States.
The exchange rate would soon fall, and the economy and people's livelihoods would stabilize.
It was an extremely important announcement.
But...
-Glance.
I turned my gaze to the Hunter Gallery posts on my phone screen.
The people on Hunter Gallery couldn't focus on the president's speech at all.
That was because...
[Why did the president suddenly get such a full head of hair??? What is this??]
[Wow, wig technology is amazing these days. It doesn't look like a wig at all, and there's no sense of awkwardness.]
[But did Blue Dot really make a Hair Loss Treatment?]
[Come on lol. That's bullshit, right?]
[But Blue Dot recently said he came back with something despite not earning any Points. Did he get some kind of hidden piece and make a Hair Loss Treatment?]
[Then that Extreme Lunatic Hell Pharmaceuticals or whatever isn't a concept, it's real? Fuck off lol]
[If it's Blue Dot, it might actually be possible. He's shown us a lot so far.]
[Give me a Hair Loss Treatment too... I want to cure my baldness and get a girlfriend too...]
[lol Why is it so funny that the president has thick hair?]
[Why does the Hair-sident keep brushing his hair back out of habit? This is ridiculous;; Does he think he's in a shampoo commercial?]
[Honestly, it sounds fake, but I hope it's real.]
[I don't want to take Proppesia anymore. My dick shrivels up and I'm depressed, so my quality of life is total garbage.]
[What is this? Some hilarious hidden-camera prank? Why does the president have such thick hair...?]
The previously bald president had suddenly appeared with a thick head of hair.
Posts flooded in.
Hunter Gallery was ablaze with people arguing over whether my Hair Loss Treatment was real.
'Thanks to the president, interest is at its peak. Now is the perfect time to make an advertisement post!'
I'd already thought of a way to advertise.
This was the best possible time to put it into action.
I quickly wrote another post.
[Post Title: Yeah, it's your big brother. I really did make a Hair Loss Treatment.]
[Author: Blue Dot]
Why can't you commoners believe me?
I'm telling you, I made a Hair Loss Treatment...
The president's hair is real. It absolutely isn't a wig.
Anyway, moving on!
I'm thinking of giving out a few Hair Loss Treatment doses as promotion.
Send me a private message with a photo proving you have hair loss, your address, and your story.
I'll pick ten Hunter Gallery users with sad stories and send them prototype Hair Loss Treatment doses...
Once you see the effects, make sure to post verification pictures on Hunter Gallery.
...
That was the post I wrote.
I said I would select ten people and give them Hair Loss Treatment.
I was trying some basic trial-sample giveaway marketing.
This should get everyone's attention, right?
A little later.
[2 Comments]
└Is it really a Hair Loss Treatment?
└????
Comments began to appear.
But then.
[243 Comments]
└What, is it real?
└So that Extreme Lunatic Hell Pharmaceuticals thing wasn't a joke, it was real?
└Then the Weight-Loss Treatment, aphrodisiac, and Mental Illness Treatment are all real too?
└Come on lol. No, right? It's a joke, right?
└Just in case, I should sell all my stock in foreign pharmaceutical companies. I have a bad feeling about this.
└I'm sending you a private message right away, Lord Light Light Light. Please pick me.
The comments multiplied far faster than I had imagined.
[1,487 Comments]
└I'm here from the Hair Loss Gallery.
└Bro, I've suffered from hair loss for more than ten years. You really made a Hair Loss Treatment, right? I really hope it's real. Because of this damn incurable disease...
└I sent you a private message.
└Hello, this is FFF Daily. We would like to request an interview.
└Big Dot, you don't have to hand out burgers, just send me some of that Hair Loss Treatment. I have M-shaped hair loss, and I want to try applying it.
└You earn Points and save the citizens' lives, build a power plant and save industry, and now you're saving the citizens' hair too, King Supreme Dot;;
└I'll believe you, Blue Dot. You really are an Alchemist.
└If the Hair Loss Treatment is real, does that mean the Weight-Loss Treatment is real too? Do I not need Yugobi anymore?
└Kyaaaaaaah!!!
...
In just a few minutes, several thousand comments had appeared.
The overwhelming firepower was incredible.
They said there were ten million people in Korea suffering from hair loss, with several million of them being severe cases.
It was only natural that interest would be enormous.
I sprang to my feet and shouted.
"It's time for Extreme Lunatic Hell Pharmaceuticals!"
Just wait, Elon Mengsk!
With the technological power of my Extreme Lunatic Hell Pharmaceuticals...
I'll surpass your wealth before long!
Footnotes:
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