WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 103: 103

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My sister and I prepared for Extreme Lunatic Hell Pharmaceuticals' promotional event.

There was not much to prepare.

-Trickle. Trickle.

We divided the sixty liters of Hair Loss Treatment we'd made into small bottles.

-Whirr. Click.

My sister printed labels with a label printer beside me, then neatly stuck them onto the bottles.

Just like that, we completed around a hundred bottles of Hair Loss Treatment.

I nodded.

"That's a hundred bottles done, right, Sis?"

"What is it, Jiho?"

"Hold a raffle among the messages in my Hunter Gallery inbox, then mail potions to ten winners. Give out the other ninety overseas for promotion."

"Give them out overseas... how? And to whom?"

"You should figure that out, Sis."

"..."

"Don't they have online communities overseas too? Places like Reddit. Write a promotional post there and give out ninety bottles of Hair Loss Treatment."

"..."

"Anyway, I'm counting on you! I've got to head to the Tower soon."

I left the minor follow-up work to my sister and came up from the basement.

My sister was a brilliant Korea University graduate, as well as a former trading-company employee and an all-purpose office worker.

If it was her, she could surely handle something as simple as promoting a product overseas.

Anyway.

"I need to let Hunter Gallery know the wonderful news that the prototypes are ready to ship!"

I was Extreme Lunatic Hell Hunter Gallery's beloved regular.

If I had an excuse to make a post, I never let it slip by!

I quickly wrote one.

[Post Title: Prototypes Ready to Ship, Yeah]

[Author: Blue Dot]

(A photo of potion bottles piled in one corner of the basement)

The prototypes are ready, yeah.

Made a total of 100 bottles.

I'm giving out 10 in Korea.

The other 90 will be distributed overseas.

For reference, the Hair Loss Treatment I made.

I'll sell it at high prices overseas, but much cheaper to citizens of our country.

Why?

Because I'm a patriotic entrepreneur of King Korea.

There is no domestic discrimination in my dictionary!!!

Korean conglomerates should learn something from me! They give longer warranties and sell products cheaper overseas, then gouge the citizens at home!

Is it enough for a King Korea company to simply make good products?

You grew through the love and support of the people, so give back accordingly!

Anyway, now that the prototypes are made, I'll send them out through a raffle soon.

If you receive a potion and see the effects, make sure to post proof on Hunter Gallery.

That's all the news I had.

Time to head for the Tower.

Floor 38 today, huh...

Floor 38, the Academy Floor.

It felt like I had dropped out of university just yesterday, so the thought of crossing a university's threshold again left me strangely emotional.

And a Magic Academy, at that.

I could finally learn proper magic!

Ever since learning magic from my Goblin teacher, I'd grown and grown until I somehow reached the realm of the Seventh Tier.

Still, whether my magical ability would hold up at the Magic Academy was another matter...!

Heh heh.

I wonder what will happen at the Magic Academy.

I was looking forward to it!

└What's this? Is Hair Loss Treatment actually coming out?

└As expected, Big Dot only thinks about the people day and night! Unlike our major corporations that screw domestic consumers over, he's giving domestic consumers reverse discrimination for their benefit!

└Light Light Light, I sent you my story through a message. Please pick me... I'm desperate... please...

└Can it really treat hair loss? Honestly, I find it hard to believe... Every scholar says it's impossible.

└└But it was probably made with a hidden piece, not science. There's a good chance it works regardless of science.

└└Even if it's a hidden piece, Hair Loss Treatment is a little strange. And none of the Tower loot discovered so far has been a hair treatment potion, right?

└└That's why it's a hidden piece, yeah.

└└Nothing would be strange coming out of the Tower. There are Reverse-Aging Potions, Full Recovery Potions, and all sorts of things.

└└Does America's Spatial Leap Gate make any sense?

└└These days, if something makes no sense, it's easier to just assume it's a hidden piece...

└Blue Dot dropped out of university. I guess a lot of people quit because of the Tower...

└What's with magic, though? And a Goblin?

└└Blue Dot: I told you when I signed the official contract. I have a Goblin teacher. I learned magic from my Goblin teacher, yeah.

└└Are you still pushing that Goblin teacher concept...

└└He got tired of the martial arts concept, so now he's drifted into a wizard concept. Just roll with it.

└└Blue Dot: But I really am a wizard... I have the ability to use magic. For reference, my ultimate move is Mana Cannon, «Final Spark».

└└Blue Dot really loves Touhou Project. Who even plays that old boomer bullet hell shooter these days? LOL.

└Blue Dot, Torumph just mentioned you on social media.

└Is this a Hunter getting a shout-out from Earth's head mod?

└For real? What the hell, it's true?

└Why is the American president coming to our country again? It's only been a few days since his last visit.

└Do those two extreme lunatics have some kind of shared bond? Why are they hanging out together?

└Blue Dot, please don't go to America...

...

The comments rolled in as usual.

One piece of news stood out.

'Torumph mentioned me on social media?'

Curious, I immediately closed Hunter Gallery and looked up Torumph's social media.

Then I saw it.

[Donald Torumph]

[170 million followers]

[My Extreme Lunatic Hell friend in the Republic of Korea has achieved something great. A very beautiful achievement! Fake news outlets like CMM will surely spew all kinds of nonsense about his achievement, but he has truly done a great thing. I will go to Korea at once and meet him! Make American hair full again!!!]

[Replies: 4,300]

I haltingly read through his English social media post and muttered under my breath.

"Hmm. Did Torumph hear that I made Hair Loss Treatment too? He's rushing to Korea right away."

I'd planned to ask the government to send him a potion anyway.

There was no need for him to come in person.

Still, he must have been desperate.

He worked hard to hide it with that distinctive hairstyle, but he was also suffering from hair loss.

Torumph was a Proppesia user!

And now this Extreme Lunatic Hell Alchemist had created Hair Loss Treatment.

On top of that, our country's president had personally experienced its effects...

Wouldn't Torumph be in a huge hurry?

I snickered.

"Thanks to him, this is going to be one ridiculously lavish promotion."

It was none other than Earth's head mod, Torumph.

He was the man who appeared in more news stories, more often, than anyone else in the world!

Once he personally proved the effects of Hair Loss Treatment, every balding person in the world would have no choice but to learn about my medicine!

'I need to buy Extreme Lunatic Hell Tower and build an alchemy factory soon.'

I'd need that kind of mass-production system to handle the orders that would pour in from around the world.

I should hurry up with buying a building and setting up an alchemy factory.

Anyway, business was proceeding smoothly.

"Should I head to the Tower now...?"

I might have been busy with business, but I couldn't skip climbing the Tower for even a single day.

I recalled what I knew about the floor I was heading to.

'Floor 38. The Academy Floor. A higher educational institution that trains the Empire's mages.'

Floor 38 was called the Academy Floor.

It was the Empire's mage training facility, a kind of university.

Of course, it was said Floor 38 did not have much worthwhile loot.

The Magic Academy had been burning fiercely from the moment Climbers entered the Tower, so most supplies had burned away.

All one could obtain were a few potions and the occasional artifact.

It was a floor with poorer returns than expected.

But who was I?

'Extreme Lunatic Hell Firefighting Helicopter!'

The moment I entered the Tower, I could put out the fires in an instant and sweep every last piece of loot from the Magic Academy clean!

"I'm looking forward to this. A Magic Academy...! I'll be able to get plenty of things that help my magic there, right?"

Since the map's theme was a Magic Academy, I expected to gain plenty of loot this floor.

New magic, for example.

Or magical tools.

Or perhaps hidden pieces.

Wasn't a Magic Academy supposed to be full of fortuitous encounters?

'It's an academy story rule that every corner is stuffed with bizarre fortuitous encounters!'

What was an academy story, after all?

Wasn't it a genre where a tiny educational institution was overflowing with shadowy masterminds, fortuitous encounters, hidden pieces, and everything else?

And the theme of the floor I was heading to was none other than a Magic Academy.

That meant there would be tons of fortuitous encounters for me to sweep up!

I couldn't help being especially excited for this floor.

With that, I waited for Hyeji and Iing Iing.

[Entering Tower Floor 38.]

The raid of Floor 38 began.

* * *

Flash!

The bright light faded, and I slowly looked around.

What I saw was a grand, antique building, like a medieval university.

The walls of old stacked bricks were tall, while the spires and buildings beyond the iron gate had a classical charm.

Blue remnants of mana glimmered throughout the grounds, scattering a mysterious, dreamlike light as though announcing that this place was a Magic Academy.

It was completely different from what I had imagined.

I blinked.

"No fire?"

"Jiho, there's no fire this time either? I heard Floor 38 was usually a sea of flames from the moment you entered... It looks like something unusual happened on this floor because of you too."

"That's because of me."

I'd heard Floor 38 was supposed to be burning from the beginning, just like the other floors.

Yet the Magic Academy before my eyes was in relatively good condition.

Just like on Tower Floor 36, something unusual had happened!

I nodded in satisfaction.

"It's practically rolling out the red carpet for me to sweep up all the Magic Academy's fortuitous encounters."

"Fortuitous encounters? What encounters?"

"Hyeji, haven't you read fantasy academy stories? Academies are always full of fortuitous encounters. And something unusual happened on this Academy Floor? Wow, this is definitely the setup for tons of fortuitous encounters! I'm sure to get a hidden piece!"

"...I don't really understand what you're talking about, but I'm glad you seem happy, Jiho."

-Iing Iing!

"Iing Iing says she's happy because you seem happy too."

It seemed Hyeji had not read many academy stories.

Academy stories... As far as I knew, they were more popular with women than men.

That wasn't very fitting for a romance-fantasy fan.

Then again, male-oriented academy stories and female-oriented academy stories were completely different genres.

Male-oriented stories were about sweeping up all the fortuitous encounters around an academy, becoming incredibly strong, and saving the world.

Female-oriented stories were about collecting male leads and getting carried through life.

Anyway.

-Step. Step.

I slowly walked toward the Magic Academy's main gate.

As I moved, I thought to myself.

'Another unusual occurrence this floor... What could be happening this time?'

The fire that should have been there had not broken out.

Like on Floor 36, I might encounter an entirely unexpected situation.

The old raid strategy was no longer reliable.

I'd have to see the situation with my own eyes and judge for myself.

I strode over to the Magic Academy's main gate.

Stopping in front of the huge antique iron-bar gate, I looked into the grounds beyond it.

Then I saw them.

"You must not destroy the Magic Academy!"

"Move aside at once."

"Senior!"

"I warned you. If you don't step back now, you'll regret it."

Inside the gate stood two groups facing each other.

"This meaningless destruction must stop here!"

"The Empire has also offered a mediation proposal."

"So please stop! Haven't you already achieved enough?"

One side wore ordinary black robes.

They were ordinary Black Mages.

"We refuse. The Empire already tried to abandon us once. It would not be surprising if they abandoned us a second time."

"We must use this opportunity to completely overthrow the Empire and create a world for Black Mages alone."

"Kill every last one of those rotten imperial family members and nobles! We will create an Empire of Black Mages!"

The other side wore black robes patterned with intricate red lines.

They were War Black Mages.

About a hundred War Black Mages and several hundred ordinary Black Mages.

They were locked in a standoff.

I stood there for a moment, listening to their conversation.

"Seniors. Have you truly lost your minds?"

"The ones who have lost their minds are you. You let some strange thing called a Prophet sway you and interfere with our revolution...! You fools! Can you still call yourselves Black Mages? Black Mages should reject everything in this world, yet you believe in a god? What a joke..."

"Senior!"

"Enough! Stop this nonsense about Apostles or whatever. This is your final warning. If you continue blocking our path... we'll dispose of you here and now."

"..."

"Those in the Magic Academy are disgusting noble brats. There is no reason whatsoever to protect them. So move aside at once-!"

From the sound of it, the War Black Mages were trying to destroy the Magic Academy, while the ordinary Black Mages were trying to stop them.

As I watched the two Black Mage groups, I suddenly spotted some familiar faces.

'Hmm... That Black Mage at the very front looks like Raphael. And the other Black Mages in the middle look like the guys I saw on Floor 36.'

There were several hundred ordinary Black Mages.

A few of them looked particularly familiar.

The Black Mages I had put to work on Floor 36 were scattered among them!

They were the Black Mages who had fallen for my Prophet hypnosis app and offered up their loot.

I never expected to meet them again on Floor 38...

'What a strange connection.'

Raphael.

He was my first hypnosis app test subject, the one who first experienced holy-divine-reverse Black Mage-divine magic on Floor 35.

I seemed to run into him unusually often.

I'd first met him on Floor 35.

Then I saw him again on Floor 36.

And even here, on the Academy Floor of Floor 38...

'Is he some named NPC or something? Why do I keep running into him?'

There was nothing at all welcome about meeting some old Black Mage.

If it had been a beautiful fantasy woman, maybe.

Why did I have to keep getting tangled up with an old Black Mage like him?

As I watched them with those useless thoughts running through my head, someone spotted me and shouted.

"Hm? Who are you! A student of the Magic Academy?"

"Those idiots from Team Three. It appears they failed to fully seal off the dormitory and let some small fry through."

The War Black Mages had noticed me standing blankly outside the main gate!

The ordinary Black Mages facing them also spotted me and cried out in shock.

"That outfit...? The Prophet! It's the Prophet!"

"Is that truly the Prophet?!"

"That's right! Look carefully! That is the Prophet!"

"Ooh... Heaven!"

Raphael shouted with an excited expression, and the ordinary Black Mages behind him looked at me with curiosity and reverence.

What was with these guys?

Only around ten Black Mages should have known me.

Why were several hundred of them all looking at me with such reverent expressions?

As I stood there puzzled, one of the War Black Mages spoke.

"Prophet? Ho... So that dried-up old tree is the Prophet you all worship so fervently... is that it?"

"If we turn that bastard into a corpse right here, those fools will come to their senses!"

"Kill him at once!"

"Om..."

The War Black Mages aimed their staffs at me and began chanting.

They were clearly preparing to attack.

I looked at them and considered it.

'Should I try the Prophet hypnosis app on them?'

No.

The War Black Mages were the ones who had seen my holy-divine-divine magic on Floor 37 and still hadn't taken the bait.

There was no way they would believe I was the Prophet now.

So.

"Behold the exquisite detail of my dazzling Railgun 19!"

I'll just kill them all!

-Boom!

I immediately fired Railgun.

A bright flash gleamed, and a metal projectile ripped through the air.

Then.

-Booooom!

The War Black Mages collapsed in a heap.

Because they had been clustered so closely together, over a dozen of them were pierced all at once!

-Splash!

A mist of blood burst outward, and the metallic scent of blood hit my nose.

A one-sided slaughter had begun.

Footnotes:

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