I'm the Only Wizard Climbing the Tower - Chapter 112

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.

Chapter 112: 112

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Unique-grade artifact.

As the name implied, it referred to an artifact that could be obtained only once in the Tower.

Every one of them was a rare, powerful item treated as a national strategic asset. Depending on when it was used, its value could be enough to determine a nation's fate.

"Compared to stuff that insanely awesome... isn't a Spatial Bag with a measly 100-ton capacity a little underwhelming?"

"Now that I hear you say it, I guess it is..."

"It's not 'I guess,' it is. Are you a little out of it, Hyeji? Going on about how I'm the real Prophet and all that."

"..."

"Anyway... a 100-ton Spatial Bag. Did this fall into my hands so I could become a cult leader and line my pockets? Hehehe. All that backroom money is mine now."

Still, I was happy!

An artifact no ordinary person could ever possess.

A 100-ton Spatial Bag had practically rolled right into my hands!

"All right, Hyeji. We've emptied the warehouse and finished what we came for. Should we head back now?"

"Yes. Then we're going to meet that woman called the Empress, right?"

"Ah, I'm not seeing her. I'm going straight to the Escape Portal."

"Why? Wouldn't it be better to at least say goodbye? She even opened the warehouse for us."

"That woman talked like she was insane. Even if I'm a cult leader, people who are actually crazy about religion are a bit..."

"..."

"Let's just go home quietly. Avoiding crazy people is always best."

And with that, the raid on Floor 39 came to an end.

[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 39)]

[You have completed Tower Floor 39.]

[You have defeated 5,239 Ghouls (100).]

[You have defeated 52 War Black Mages (5,000).]

[You have defeated 1 High Black Mage (30,000).]

[Points are being calculated.]

[Tower Floor 40 has been unlocked.]

[Returning.]

I learned new magic, saved people, and earned plenty of Points.

At the very end, I even got an unexpected haul.

It had been a thoroughly satisfying raid.

* * *

Right after returning to reality, I immediately opened my status window.

[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 40)]

[813,900 Points]

What I saw was the number 813,900.

"810,000 Points...! That's incredible!"

It was even more than I'd expected.

A full 810,000 Points!

Enough Points to keep 810,000 King Korea citizens alive for a month!

That massive amount of Points was now in my hands!

Hyeji, who had been watching beside me, spoke up.

"Wow, Jiho. Didn't you have around 680,000 Points before? You skipped the 700,000 range and went right into the 800,000s. That's a huge increase."

"Hehe. As you can see, I improve every single day. Compared to yesterday's me, today's me has 'saved' 130,000 more King Korea citizens! Hurry up and praise me!"

"It really is impressive... wow..."

Judging from the growth trend so far, I'd expected to earn something in the 700,000 range.

But I jumped straight into the 800,000s!

"I need to share this happy news on Hunter Gallery right away!"

I grabbed my phone.

Then, suddenly, I remembered something.

└└If it's an Imperial Palace, it must have lots of treasure lol. Bring back a crown or something. I'm curious what a fantasy crown looks like.

└└Blue Dot: k

"Ah."

I'd forgotten to bring something back from this floor.

'Ah. I was going to bring back a crown, show it off on Hunter Gallery, and give it to Torumph as a gift. I forgot.'

There had been too much going on. New magic, the Empress's crazy tantrum, and that 100-ton Spatial Bag.

I hadn't had time to think about something as minor as a crown.

I clicked my tongue.

"Why wasn't that Empress wearing a crown, anyway? If you're an emperor, shouldn't you at least wear some shiny crown?"

If the Empress I'd met had been wearing a crown, I would've remembered right away.

But she hadn't even been wearing anything close to one. She was walking around in a simple uniform, so I never thought about crowns.

'Whatever. I'll brag about the 100-ton Spatial Bag instead of a crown on Hunter Gallery, and Torumph will be happy enough with the hair loss medicine anyway.'

It was a little disappointing, but I quickly let it go.

I didn't particularly want to go back into Floor 39 just to get one crown, and I'd gotten something much better than a decorative crown anyway, a 100-ton Spatial Bag.

"So, a 100-ton Spatial Bag..."

I glanced over at my newly acquired loot, the oversized Spatial Bag.

It was in Hyeji's hand.

"Hyeji. What are you doing with my Spatial Bag?"

"I'm the one who'll be carrying it around anyway. I was checking if it really has a 100-ton capacity."

Well, even though it belonged to me, Na Hyeji and Iing Iing would be the ones actually using it.

Of course she would be interested first.

"But is this really a 100-ton bag? It doesn't look like there's much inside."

Hyeji shook out the Spatial Bag.

Dust poured out in clouds.

Hey, you're making our living room dirty.

Clean it before you leave, seriously.

I frowned at her just as something fell out of the bag.

-Clatter.

It rolled across the marble floor of our home.

What was that?

It looked just like...

"Huh. Jiho, isn't this a crown?"

"...It is a crown. But it's split in half."

A crown.

And it was cut cleanly in two!

I'd just been disappointed about not getting one.

Why was this coming out now?

Still, this worked out perfectly.

"I can keep my promise to the Hunter Gallery guys!"

"A promise?"

"I promised I'd pick up a crown on Floor 39 and show it to them. I had no idea it would come out of here, but... anyway, nice! I kept my promise to the Hunter Gallery guys. I, Baek Jiho, am a man who always keeps his promises."

"Jiho, when are you going to keep the promise you made to me? You said you'd give me a Reverse-Aging Potion too."

I ignored Hyeji's whining.

-Click!

I took a picture right away and made a post on Hunter Gallery.

[Post Title: Newbie Hunter... Went to Floor 39...]

[Author: Blue Dot]

(A picture of a bag made of antique cloth)

(A picture of a crown split in half)

Newbie Hunter...

Went to Floor 39 today...

Like I heard, there was a burning Imperial Palace there...

Actually, there wasn't.

There was a perfectly intact, shiny Imperial Palace.

I've said this before, right?

Unlike you ordinary people, I'm an Extreme Lunatic Hell Heaven Holy Hunter walking the Steined world line.

World line divergence rate 1.048596%...

That is Steined Gate!

El Psy Kongari.

Is this the choice of Steined Gate...

Anyway, I was looking around the Imperial Palace, thinking I'd build a house like that and live in it someday.

Then I heard fighting somewhere.

When I went over, thousands of Ghouls and Black Mages had gathered to attack the Imperial Palace...

So I just killed them all. Sigh.

First, I quickly took care of several thousand Ghouls in Longbow Apache mode.

Then I beat up dozens of War Black Mages in Level 5 Railgun mode.

I even had a match with a High Black Mage.

That High Black Mage used some strange martial art.

It was called Earth-Milking Star-Absorbing Grand Technique.

It sucked up the essence of the earth for its own use.

And in exchange, it turned the land barren.

But when I saw that guy, anger suddenly welled up inside me.

Earth-siphoning energy absorption... environmental pollution... pollution...

A method of polluting the environment to strengthen itself...

Isn't that basically a Chink?

Those Chinks pollute the environment and torment our King Korea with fine dust every year. Fucking assholes.

Ahh.

I realized it.

The Black Mages were Chinks!!!

Chink bastards who pollute the environment!!!

They were ruining not only Earth, but even the world inside the Tower!!!

We have to kill them to protect Earth's environment!!!

Keep our Earth green and green!!!

So I dealt with the bad guy polluting the environment.

As a bonus, I restored the environment, healed the injured with a wide-area miracle heal, and even earned the admiration of the ordinary people in the Tower.

The Empress had even become a believer in my cult.

My cult is gradually expanding its influence.

A beautiful bikini Zero Two harem isn't far away!

Anyway, today's earnings!

5,239 Ghouls, 52 War Black Mages, and one High Black Mage.

813,900 Points. 8.139 billion won.

About 40 Grade 3 artifacts from raiding the Imperial Palace treasury... around 40 billion won.

Would that make it roughly 48 billion won in total?

I had high expectations just from entering the Imperial Royal Treasury.

But those Empire bastards were completely broke.

What kind of Empire only has several tens of billions of won worth of treasure in its treasury? Seriously...

But instead!

I happened to get a 100-ton Spatial Bag.

So I'm pretty satisfied with the haul.

As far as I knew, 10 tons was the limit for Spatial Bags.

But apparently, there are 100-ton ones too.

Nice inventory expansion.

Oh, and was there a Hunter Gallery guy who wanted to see a crown?

I happened to pick one up. What do you think it looks like?

But it's only half...

What should I do with this?

If it were an intact crown, I would've at least given it to Torumph as a gift.

But it's cut in half, so it feels awkward to give away.

I'll just use it as a decoration in my room.

Anyway, a lot of things happened.

I'll browse Hunter Gallery for a bit, then go to the Blue House and meet Torumph.

I wonder what they'll serve at the Blue House dinner?

I hope they have something good.

└This guy brought something strange again today.

└That Steined Gate crap, that attack helicopter crap, that Railgun crap, that bikini Zero Two crap. He's so fucking consistent... That's why I can't hate him...

└These days, Hunter Gallery feels boring if I don't see a Blue Dot post. Post here often. I want to see lots of your shitty posts.

└└This guy has been Blue-Dot-pilled. Is this that mental contamination thing?

└└Blue Dot: I'd love to spend all day on Hunter Gallery too, but I have no choice if I'm going to save King Korea. If I only browse Hunter Gallery, who's going to save the country? Who?!

└└A guy who only knows his country...

└Even so, isn't comparing Chinese people to Black Mages an insult to Black Mages? That's too harsh... Watch your language.

└└Chink detected.

└└Read the comment above again carefully.

└└Ah.

└A 100-ton Spatial Bag? Wasn't 10 tons the maximum for Spatial Bags until now? Could it be a Unique-grade artifact???

└└Lol, why would a mere Spatial Bag be Unique-grade? Do you think Unique-grade is a joke?

└└Unique-grade artifacts are usually insanely powerful things that affect nations or continents, like weather-control artifacts, ocean-current-control artifacts, past-observation artifacts, or city barrier artifacts... A 100-ton Spatial Bag feels a little too weak to call Unique-grade. So it's probably not one.

└But not every Unique-grade artifact is insanely awesome, right? There's America's Spatial Leap Gate. All it does is move people far away, but it's still Unique-grade. Couldn't that be one too?

└└No, no. America's Spatial Leap Gate might not seem like much, but when you think about it, it's insanely useful depending on how you use it. If you have enough Points, you could drop a massive army right in the middle of an enemy capital. It's different from a Spatial Bag.

└└Imagine Xi Jinping sleeping at home, then suddenly a Hunter special operations unit bursts in. He'd be scared shitless.

└└Blue Dot was the one who actually experienced that lolololol. He was sleeping soundly at home when the American CIA SOG Team broke in.

└└Oh right. Those crazy Americans!!! How dare they target Big Dot?!

└└Blue Dot: We made up, so it's fine. As compensation, I got diplomatic support like a currency swap and lower tariffs. So I forgave them.

└└??? Is that true?

└└What? Is that why America has been helping Korea so much lately? I was wondering why America was giving so much...

└But that half crown looks kind of unusual. Its surface has all these really complicated little patterns carved into it. Where did you get that?

└└Blue Dot: It was inside the 100-ton Spatial Bag. That was the only thing in it lol.

└└Something about it feels strange. Wouldn't it become some hidden artifact if you put it together? In games and movies, it's a cliché that something like that turns into something when you combine it.

└└Stop thinking like a gamer.

└└But since it's the Tower, that really could happen.

└Everyone's only looking at the bag, but isn't earning 810,000 Points on one floor even crazier? He earned enough to support 810,000 citizens for a month by himself.

└└Blue Dot: Today's 810,000 people 'saved' too.

└└If this guy didn't talk nonsense, he'd actually seem like a hero...

└└He wouldn't be Blue Dot if he didn't talk nonsense.

└└Now that Floor 40 is open, isn't the next floor right before the Highest Floors? The Highest Floors start at Floor 41.

└└Rescuing Hunter Kim Taeseok is really just around the corner.

└Wait, Torumph is in Korea right now?

└└Did you not read the post? He said he's going to meet him at the Blue House.

└└Did the president personally fly over to get hair loss medicine? Lololol.

└└His hair matters more than the national interest of the United States.

└Just give Torumph the half crown. Since hair only covers half his head, it might actually fit perfectly.

└└You crazy bastard lololol.

...

The comments kept pouring in.

I read through them with a grin, then got to my feet.

"Should I get going?"

I'd rested enough after climbing, and the timing was right.

It was time to move on to my next appointment.

I called Han Seonga.

"Seonga, is Torumph at the Blue House right now?"

* * *

I took my sister's car to the Blue House.

My sister, who was driving, spoke with a worried look.

"Jiho. You're not going to say you're giving him a scalp massage and start hitting Torumph on the head again, are you?"

"You worry about the strangest things. Do I look like that reckless of a person?"

"You already have a record."

My sister worried too much.

Would I, of all people, start smacking the crown of the Earth admin's head over and over?

I'm not that crazy.

Anyway, I headed to the Blue House.

"We will need to conduct an inspection. Please cooperate."

"Okay."

"That staff..."

"Ah, my body is very frail. They say no one can beat time, and now that I'm past my mid-twenties, my joints are starting to give out. So I have to walk with a staff like this."

"..."

"Time is so cruel. Ah, my back..."

Having been here a few times, I was fairly used to the Blue House by now.

After quickly completing the inspection and identity check, I went to the Inwang Room in the main building, where the private meeting was being held.

There, I saw them.

"Mr. Baek Jiho, you've arrived. You must have had a long journey. Hahaha."

Jang Daehan, King Korea's president, proudly swept back his hair, which had become far fuller than before.

And beside him was someone looking at Jang Daehan's hair with envy.

"...Jiho! My friend! At last, we meet!"

"That's me."

Donald Torumph spread his arms wide to welcome me.

Then, the moment Torumph spotted the medicine bottle in my hand, his eyes lit up.

"Is that... the holy elixir that will save my hair?"

"That's right. Extreme Lunatic Hell Hair Growth Holy Water."

"Holy great...!"

Torumph was happy to see me, but only for a moment.

He welcomed the hair loss medicine more enthusiastically than me, his soulmate.

I felt a little hurt.

I was happy to see my friend Torumph...

But the hair loss medicine was more important than me?

It felt like I'd been cucked by hair loss medicine, and it rubbed me the wrong way.

It couldn't be helped.

I'd planned to hold back this time, but...!

-Pop!

I opened the cap of the hair loss medicine and spoke.

"Mr. Torumph. The inside of your crown looks a little sparse. I'll make it nice and dense right away."

"Ooh...! I've been waiting! Do it now! Right now! Do I apply that medicine to my head?!"

"Yes. But Mr. Torumph, your scalp condition is serious."

"Serious...?"

"Your pores are clogged shut. To get the full effect, it looks like you'll need a powerful scalp massage."

"Wait, Jiho?!"

"Mr. Baek Jiho?"

My sister beside me looked horrified.

President Jang Daehan looked horrified too.

I answered with a relaxed expression.

"I'll give you a scalp massage too. Ah, don't worry about my technique. Reimu, one of your agents, was always satisfied with my massages."

-Trickle.

Brown liquid poured onto Torumph's crown.

Torumph pointed to Jang Daehan's thick hair and asked.

"Did Daehan receive that massage too?"

"Well, that-"

"He did."

I quickly answered for Jang Daehan.

Torumph nodded.

"If that is so... begin!"

"Grow, hair, grow!"

-Smack! Smack!

-Patpatpatpatpatpatpat!

I began vigorously pounding Torumph's crown.

Naturally, I was holding back enough.

With the strength of an Extreme Lunatic Hell Wizard Hunter, a human head would burst like a watermelon.

That said, I wasn't holding back completely.

Because I was annoyed...!

'How dare he welcome my hair loss medicine more than me?'

Unforgivable!

Smack! Smack! Smacksmacksmack!

"Aaagh! Ah! Aaagh!"

Torumph writhed in pain and screamed.

Maybe the scene looked too pitiful.

"President!"

David jumped forward.

For some reason, he seemed afraid of me and hesitated.

But as Torumph's screams grew louder, he finally stepped in.

Surprisingly, Torumph himself stopped him.

"Stand down, David!"

"But he's attacking you...!"

"This is not an attack! It is medical treatment!"

Torumph shouted through gritted teeth.

"If I can regain my great and beautiful hair... this much pain is nothing! Baek Jiho! Stronger!"

"Hooong."

As expected of the Earth admin.

His obsession with hair was on another level from ordinary people.

Then I had no choice but to match his determination...!

"Ikuzo!"

"Come on!"

Torumph put on a determined expression.

I swung my palm.

-Smaaack! Smaaack! Smaaack!

"Grow, hair, grow!!!"

"Make America Hair Again!!!"

My sister nearby squeezed her eyes shut.

Uncle Jang Daehan wore a despairing expression.

It was summer.

* * *

A luxury hotel somewhere in Seoul.

A Chinese man spoke.

"Baek Jiho is currently attending an unofficial meeting at the Blue House."

"..."

"We attack him on his way home shortly. Any questions?"

Hoo.

The man spoke as he exhaled cigarette smoke.

China's number one Hunter, a Floor 48 Hunter.

A Committee Member of the Chinese Communist Party Central Committee.

And a member of the Chinese Communist Party Politburo Standing Committee.

It was Lin Chenhuo.

One of his subordinates spoke.

"But, boss. We received word from Chairman Xi. He said attacking now, while he is meeting with America, could cause diplomatic friction. He said we should wait until Torumph returns if possible..."

"Seriously. We're doing that bastard a favor, and he has so many demands. Tell him to fuck off. America isn't what it used to be, so I don't know why we should care about those bastards."

-Sizzle.

Lin Chenhuo ground out his cigarette against the windowsill as he spoke.

This was a five-star hotel in the Republic of Korea.

Naturally, it was a non-smoking area, but they didn't care about that.

Because they were Chinese.

Lin Chenhuo looked over a map and spoke.

"But it wouldn't be wise to act near the Blue House... We have information that Torumph and Baek Jiho are close. If we hit him near the Blue House, David might come running. We should put some distance between Baek Jiho and the Blue House before we strike."

"Boss. How about attacking after he passes through this tunnel? There will only be a tunnel behind him, so it'll be easy to limit his escape routes. There are also plenty of good sniping positions."

"Good. Let's go prepare."

When Lin Chenhuo stood, the nine men in the room rose with him.

All of them were Floor 48 Hunters.

They were the peak of China's Highest Floors combat force.

Lin Chenhuo spoke quietly.

"Use the invisibility artifacts."

"Yes."

-Swish.

Ten figures vanished into thin air.

The Chinese Committee Members had brought ten invisibility artifacts, each worth several trillion won.

That was not all.

"What about the snipers?"