WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 136: 136
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“What is going onnnnn?! A jar is talking! Have I finally gone insane?!”
I grabbed my head and screamed.
-Iiiiiing!!!
Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!
Iing Iing kicked the jar over and over.
Her kicks were filled with outrage, as if demanding to know why it had scared me.
And from the jar...
-Aaaaagh! Stop! Stop it, fairy!
That unpleasant voice kept coming out.
Then, all of a sudden, I realized where I had heard it before.
That gloomy, lifeless voice.
That old, feeble way of speaking.
Could it be?
“You... Are you Sans?”
I was certain.
That voice definitely belonged to the Black Mage Sect Leader, Sans.
The bastard I thought I had vaporized with my magic artillery, Final Spark, had crawled out into reality alive!
What a horrifying development...!
Even as I stood there in shock...
-Aagh! Damn it! Spare me! Spare me!
-Iing Iing!!!
Roll, roll.
The jar rolled all over the place like Iing Iing's soccer ball.
I scratched my head and stopped her.
“Iing Iing. Stop. I need to ask Daesik something.”
-Iing...!
Iing Iing stepped back with an angry huff.
I picked up the jar rolling around on the floor.
From the outside, it was nothing more than a black jar with a strange sheen.
I couldn't sense any mana or spiritual presence from it.
What the hell was this thing?
As I examined it from every angle, Daesik started spouting nonsense.
-T-Thank you... That vicious fairy nearly destroyed me. Thank you for saving my soul.
“What? Vicious fairy? You dare say that about our cute, adorable, lovely Iing Iing? You still haven't come to your senses. Iing Iing! Killer Slide Kick!”
-Iing!
-Wha...?!
Thump thump thump thump thump thump!
The jar became a soccer ball again, rolling this way and that beneath Iing Iing's kicks.
Shrill screams kept pouring out of it.
Come on, how much could Iing Iing's kicks possibly hurt for Daesik to make such a fuss?
Anyway.
I rested my chin on my hand and thought.
‘That really does seem to be Sans.’
The Black Mage Sect Leader.
The leader of the Black Mage Tower on Floor 40, and a hidden boss of the High Floors.
The bastard who had tried to drain the mana of an entire continent for some grand ritual.
A vile environmental destroyer.
I had definitely magic-artillery-smushed them.
So why had Sans crawled into reality?
And why had they become a jar?
Then I remembered.
Sans had undergone Lichification.
“That jar. Is it some kind of Life Vessel?”
Wasn't that the standard Lich rule in fantasy novels?
Liches became immortal and lived forever, but if their Life Vessel containing their soul was destroyed, they vanished.
Maybe that jar was Sans's Life Vessel?
As if confirming my guess...
-Please spare me... If this reliquary breaks, my soul will vanish... I finally gained immortality. I cannot die like this!
Sans kept calling it a reliquary and whatnot.
I picked up the jar from the floor.
“Sans, Sans. Looking at the situation, I killed your body and only your soul remains. Is that right?”
-...As expected of a Seventh Tier Archmage. What sharp insight. That is correct. I placed my soul within this reliquary and stepped into the realm of Transcendence. But...
“I think I get it. I destroyed your body, and since I can't even sense spiritual waves from you, you probably can't use magic either. You're basically a Sect Leader who does nothing but breathe now. Right?”
-Kgh...
My guess was correct.
Sans had lost their body and was essentially sealed inside this jar!
If I broke it now, Sans would die.
Then I had a thought.
‘Come to think of it, I only got 100,000 Points for killing this Sect Leader. It was definitely too few Points for how strong they were. Was that because their soul remained?’
The Black Mage Sect Leader.
Now, Sans had been reduced to Iing Iing's soccer ball.
But they had actually been fairly powerful.
They were an environmental criminal who had tried to wipe out the world by draining an entire continent's mana dry in the High Floors!
Yet I only got 100,000 Points for defeating them.
That was only worth about 3.3 High Black Mages.
I had found it rather strange, but it seemed their Life Vessel, or reliquary, had remained as their soul storage.
I rubbed my chin.
“Hmm... Will I get more Points if I kill this thing? Should I break it? I wonder how many Points it'll give me. It's like opening a gacha box...!”
-Wha? No! Don't! Spare me!
At my declaration that I would kill them, Sans hurriedly began selling themself.
-I... I am the Sect Leader of the Black Mage Tower! I surpassed the completed Sixth Tier, stepped into Seventh Tier Transcendence, and achieved imperfect immortality! I stand before the very end of magic! Spare me, and I will surely be of use to you...
Sans rambled on about their titles.
I clicked my tongue.
This thing still thought they were something, huh?
“You suck at magic.”
-What...?
“How useful can an ant that can't even see mana be? If you were a gloomy, busty, glamorous Black Mage noona dancing Zero Two in a bikini, I might've spared you. Why would I save a Sect Leader in a jar?”
-What are you even talking about... More importantly, you can see mana? Is that really-
“Can I crush this with my grip strength?”
I put strength into both hands.
Then I squeezed the jar.
Creak. Creak.
The jar began making an ominous groaning sound.
It was probably made from some special material, because the black jar was fairly sturdy.
It was enduring the grip strength of a strength mage like me...!
Then...
-Aaaaaaaaaagh! Aaaaaaagh! Kyaaaaaaagh!!!
Sans let out deafening screams.
Damn, they were loud.
They shouted desperately.
-Please! Please! I will do anything! I know many things! I will do anything, so do not kill me!!!
“Silence! Hand over your Points peacefully!”
-Kyaaaagh! I will tell you anything! Do you not wish to learn soul magic and gain immortality like mine?! Do you not wish to know the ancient magic formations I know?! I can also make magic tools! And alchemy too...!
“Huh? Alchemy?”
I paused.
I released the pressure from my hands.
Perhaps Sans thought they had found a way to live.
They began speaking with a faint hint of hope in their voice.
-Those reagents and catalysts laid out over there! Were you not making potions as well? Then I will surely be useful to you!
“Oh? You're a Black Mage. You know alchemy too?”
-Can one study life and the body while excluding alchemy?! Do you think black magic was the only thing I researched in pursuit of an immortal body?!
Sans realized that I was interested in alchemy and poured out words at full speed.
I thought it over.
“Hmm... Alchemy...”
I wasn't very interested in learning magic from them.
They couldn't even see mana.
The odds that magic they could handle would be high-level were low.
I didn't expect much.
But alchemy was different.
Just because I could see mana did not mean I automatically knew the names and uses of every plant I saw for the first time.
Wouldn't it be useful to squeeze alchemical knowledge out of them?
‘Come to think of it, I need to fix Kim Taeseok's arm too.’
I suddenly remembered Hunter Kim Taeseok.
His limp right sleeve.
The severed arm that even my healing could not restore.
They had said a Full Recovery Potion could fix it.
I looked down at the jar and asked.
“Can you make a Full Recovery Potion? You know, one that restores severed limbs and organs. A potion that makes someone perfectly healthy again as long as they're still breathing.”
-...Are you referring to an Elixir? If it restores lost limbs and organs, it must be an Elixir.
“So you call a Full Recovery Potion, also known as a Complete Recovery Potion, an Elixir.”
Elixir.
Even the name sounded expensive!
I urged Sans on.
“So. Can you make this Elixir?”
-I know the recipe from an ancient text. However...
“Oh, so you do know it? Impressive.”
-...Obtaining the ingredients for an Elixir is extremely difficult. It requires materials on an entirely different level from those used in ordinary healing potions...
Relief entered their voice.
Sans seemed to have realized I was no longer planning to break the jar immediately.
They continued.
-An Elixir is not merely a potion that heals wounds. It is a heaven-defying medicine that restores even a body already lost. To create such a miracle, the ingredients must be equally extraordinary.
“So what do I need? Stop dragging it out and tell me.”
-A Fragment of the World.
“...A Fragment of the World?”
What was with that grand name?
Sans explained.
-I do not know its exact origin either. But records remain. The birth of the Imperial Family, the end of the Continental War, the death of the Demon King... A substance found in minuscule quantities at every major turning point where history changed. Only a few bottles throughout recorded history. That is all. Ancient alchemists recorded it as a Fragment of the World...
“Hmm.”
-It takes the form of blue liquid, but what it contains is not ordinary mana. It is not something that money or power can obtain...
Something money could not buy.
That was a problem.
I was rich now.
Very, very rich!
I was a wealthy man with trillions of won in cash sitting in my bank account.
I thought I could simply buy most ingredients with money.
But the ingredient I needed was something money could not buy...
This was why item-crafting quests in RPGs sucked.
They always demanded one weird ingredient and made people suffer.
Anyway.
“Then where do I get it?”
-You cannot obtain it. It is merely recorded in ancient documents. It is unclear whether it truly exists in this world. Naturally, you cannot possibly obtain...
“Aw, what? I was getting excited, but you're useless. I should just kill you after all. Time to open the gacha box! How many Points will it give me? Drumroll! The grand opening!”
-No! Don't kill me! If you keep me alive, I will surely...
As Sans begged, their voice abruptly stopped.
What?
“Surely what?”
-...
“What? Why did you suddenly stop talking?”
Nothing came from the jar for a while.
Then I heard a strangely trembling voice.
-T-That... What is that?
“?”
-That blue bottle... on the floor over there...
I glanced in the direction Sans seemed to be indicating.
Then I saw it.
Beside a plastic container, a blue potion lay carelessly on the floor.
Ah.
That?
“It is a potion I picked up earlier. Why?”
-Y-You picked it up...?
“Yeah. I didn't know what it was for, so I just tossed it aside.”
I bent down and picked up the potion.
Shake, shake.
A blue liquid sloshed inside the bottle as I lightly shook it.
I held it in front of the jar.
“Don't tell me this is what you meant?”
-...
The jar went quiet again.
Then a voice nearly like a scream burst out.
-Why is that hereeeee?!
“I told you, I picked it up.”
-It is a Fragment of the World! A miraculous creation counted among the greatest wonders in continental history, a substance from legend! How could you leave it on the floor...?!
“Oh?”
This was it?
The blue potion I had left lying around because I did not know its use.
I had asked Hunter Gallery, the Raid Team, and even commissioned the Korea University research institute.
Nobody knew what it was.
Yet it turned out to be the key ingredient for a Full Recovery Potion.
The potion in my hand suddenly looked different.
‘The darkest place is beneath the lamp!’
I had wondered where to find a potion to fix Kim Taeseok's arm.
But its ingredient had been rolling around on the floor of our basement the entire time!
As expected, you should pick up every piece of loot first.
Even if you do not know what it is for, if you sweep it all up, it will become useful someday!
“So. If I have this, you can make an Elixir?”
-Y-Yes. Other ingredients are needed as well, but compared to obtaining that, they are nothing. I can tell you the recipe. I remember the contents of that document clearly... So please, spare me.
“Hmm.”
I looked back and forth between the jar and the potion.
A jar that might give me Points if I smashed it.
A jar that might let me make a Full Recovery Potion if I spared it.
The more profitable choice was obvious.
“Fine. I'll spare you for now.”
-Ohhh...!
“But from now on, you're my alchemy assistant. Answer any questions I ask properly.”
-I understand! I will tell you everything I know!
Sans finally let out a relieved sigh, as if they had survived.
I placed the jar upright on the workbench.
Then I spoke quietly.
“From now on, your name is Daesik.”
-...Daesik?
“Dae for daeji, earth, and sik for eat. That makes you Daesik.”
-...
It was a very straightforward and excellent name!
Nobody would forget it after hearing it once.
I was quite satisfied with my naming sense.
That was the day the Black Mage Sect Leader who had tried to destroy a continent became my alchemy assistant, Daesik.
* * *
After making the requested hair-loss medicine samples, I brought the jar upstairs to the living room.
Choi Yejin had arrived by then.
I roughly explained the situation to the two of them.
“This is... that Black Mage Sect Leader from back then?”
Hyeji examined the jar with curiosity.
I nodded.
“Yeah. The body died, but apparently the soul is inside this.”
“...Is that why Iing Iing hated Daesik so much?”
“What the hell were you doing up in the High Floors?”
Choi Yejin muttered with a dumbfounded expression.
She shook her head.
“All I remember is crawling around to avoid Ghouls and running from Black Mages. Meanwhile, you people brought home a ghost in a jar?”
“I did some environmental activism, like an eco-friendly Hunter. Let's make our continent green and green!”
“Do environmental activists get haunted jars too?”
Why were they asking me?
I had no idea I would pick up something so strange either.
Even as our conversation continued...
-Iing!
-Kyaaaaagh!
Tap! Tap! Tap!
Iing Iing kicked the jar on the table.
She was hitting it more gently than before, but Daesik still did not seem to be to her liking.
Every time Iing Iing's tiny foot touched the jar, Daesik screamed.
Hyeji, who was watching, asked, “What is that saying?”
“It says it hurts.”
“...I could tell that much without translation.”
Hyeji and Choi Yejin could not understand Daesik.
But screams seemed to be universal.
But is it because we're in reality that Daesik's voice doesn't get completely cut off like it does in the Tower?
Daesik pleaded.
-Please... Please stop kicking me, fairy... What have I done wrong...?
“You tried to eat a continent.”
-...
The jar fell silent.
What a shameless bastard!
Daesik had tried to drain the continent's mana dry and destroy it, yet they asked what they had done wrong.
Still, it would be a problem if I used Daesik as Iing Iing's soccer ball until the jar broke.
I still had things to learn from them.
“Iing Iing. Let's stop. I need to learn how to make potions from Daesik.”
-Iing...
“You can kick Daesik if they try doing something bad again.”
-Iing!
Only then did Iing Iing stop kicking the jar.
She plopped down on top of the jar lid.
Then she narrowed her eyes as she looked down.
It was as if she were warning Daesik not to even dream of escaping.
Excellent, Iing Iing.
You were even keeping watch over Daesik!
As expected, Iing Iing was the hope and conscience of our party!
Anyway.
I finally had a pet!
But...
“Why did I end up with something like this?”
“Pardon?”
“No, a wizard's pet should be cool. Or incredibly cute.”
A wizard's pet was supposed to be a badass dragon, a mystical spirit, or a cute and adorable fairy like Iing Iing.
That was simply how the genre worked.
But what did I get?
The soul of an old, evil Black Mage at best...
Daesik did not even have a body, so I had to carry the jar around myself!!!
“My pet, the great Baek Jiho's pet, is just a Sect Leader in a jar... Is this real? Why don't I have a cute, adorable, lovely pet like Iing Iing? Why?! Heavens! Primordial Heavenly Venerable!”
I wanted a cute pet too!
As I struck the famous Platoon pose and cried at the living room ceiling, Choi Yejin looked at me like I was pathetic and said bluntly, “Then throw Daesik away. From what I hear, Daesik sounds incredibly unpleasant.”
“I can't. I need Daesik's knowledge to make a Full Recovery Potion. I need to fix Kim Taeseok's arm!”
“...What?”
Choi Yejin was startled.
“You can make a Full Recovery Potion... You can fix Mr. Taeseok's arm?”
“Yeah. I found the recipe, and I have the key ingredient. If I get the rest, I can probably make it soon.”
“Fuck... Really?”
The way Choi Yejin looked at the jar changed.
Just moments ago, she had told me to throw it away.
Now she looked at it as if it were a precious treasure.
“I really hope you succeed. I want to see Mr. Taeseok with both arms intact again.”
“I'll make it.”
I had found a clue to the Full Recovery Potion in a completely unexpected way.
More importantly.
I should tell the person involved this good news too.
I took out my smartphone and entered the Raid Team bulletin board.
The post titles that caught my eye were...
[Today's meal, decent or not?]
[What the hell is up with the High Floors? The map changed in a weird way.]
[Having a toilet in the living room is kind of weird, right? Should I move it?]
[Why did Europe and Russia suddenly stop fighting?]
[Guys, did you know the Touhou Project: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil remake comes out on September 10???]
[Waaah... This Hunter bro wants a girlfriend...]
The Raid Team bulletin board was as chaotic as ever.
Even as I was about to fix Hunter Kim Taeseok's arm, they were posting this kind of shitpost!
These... pathetic people!
Learn from me!
Follow the example of someone as skilled and virtuous as I am!
I clicked my tongue and pressed the write-post button.
[Post Title: Taeseok bro, stick that arm out.]
[Author: Baek Jiho (41)]
Extreme Lunatic Hell Pharmaceuticals' technology has advanced another step.
Secured the recipe for a Full Recovery Potion.
Got the rarest ingredient too.
Looks like I can make it if I get a few more things.
Going to Floor 43 today to gather the ingredients.
Taeseok hyung, I'll fix your arm soon, so wait just a little longer.
Grow, arm, grow!
...
Once I posted it, comments quickly appeared.
└Park Gyu (38): You're making a Full Recovery Potion yourself? Is that really possible? Whoa.
└Lee Junho (28): Come on... Hair-loss medicine and that are on different levels. But then again, if it's him, maybe.
└Jeong Gitae (33): I really hope it's true. Taeseok hyung should live with both arms intact again.
As I read the comments, the person involved left one too.
└Kim Taeseok (42): Heh heh. I appreciate the thought alone. Don't push yourself too hard. Have a safe trip.
I snickered.
The thought alone?
I'm the kind of man who gets things done.
In other words... I'm a han-nam, you see!
Well, I had not made it yet.
Once I made the potion and visited him to say, “Grow, arm, grow,” he would believe me himself.
I put down my phone and stood.
“Alright. Let's go. We need to gather ingredients today too.”
According to Daesik, the Full Recovery Potion needed other ingredients as well.
Very fresh Troll blood and a heart.
Ogre teeth and bones.
Even a Cyclops's eye...
I had enough reagents and catalysts in storage.
All I needed were the fresh monster ingredients I was missing.
But there was one thing to watch out for.
‘Today, I can't blow everything up.’
If I blew apart their torsos when I needed their hearts, or turned their heads to powder when I needed their teeth, that would be a problem.
Those monsters were lucky bastards too.
I would personally kill them while keeping their limbs intact.
They were getting better treatment than they deserved!
Anyway.
“Iing Iing. Are you ready?”
-Iing!
It was time to do today's climb.
I picked up the jar and gripped my staff.
Then I spoke quietly.
“Enter the Tower.”
[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 43)]
[Na Hyeji (Republic of Korea: Floor 43)]
[Choi Yejin (Republic of Korea: Floor 43)]
[Please select the floor you wish to enter.]
“Floor 43.”
[Entering Tower Floor 43.]
Flash!
A bright ring of light enveloped us.
Footnotes:
Daesik is a coined name: “Dae” comes from daeji, earth, and “sik” means eat.
The Korean punchline abbreviates “a man who does what he says” into han-nam, which also means “Korean man.”
The Full Recovery Potion is the item previously called the Complete Recovery Potion.
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