WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 137: 137
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Flash!
The bright glow faded.
I slowly looked around.
All I could see was a desolate plain.
Yellowing grass, patches of bare earth, and scattered trees in poor condition. Most had shriveled leaves, or nothing but skeletal branches left.
I muttered quietly.
“Hmm... The scenery here is gloomy too. It feels similar to Floor 42.”
Desertification had progressed even further than on Floor 41.
Surely there would not be an actual desert later on, right?
Anyway!
I reminded myself of today's goal.
“Alright, everyone, listen up! I'll explain it again. We came here to gather ingredients today. Remember! You can't just kill every monster you see like usual!”
I stressed this as I looked at Hyeji and Choi Yejin.
Their responses were...
“I don't know how to kill monsters, though?”
“No, you crazy bastard. You're the only one who can kill monsters indiscriminately. I have to suffer like hell just to kill one Troll or Ogre.”
-Iing!!!
Hyeji shamelessly advertised her incompetence, while Choi Yejin did the same.
Only Iing Iing nodded with sparkling eyes, as if she had taken my words to heart.
Iing Iing, you really are this party's hope.
Your attitude alone is on a completely different level from those incompetent mediocrities who just get carried.
Seriously, those shameless people!
They get carried for so long that they start thinking it is their right!
Anyway, today's mission was to collect ingredients.
I looked down at the jar tucked beneath my arm.
“Daesik. We just need to gather the ingredients you mentioned, right?”
-That is correct. But remember, they must be as fresh as possible.
Daesik answered in that gloomy voice.
-The condition of the ingredients directly affects the quality of the potion. Even identical ingredients will produce different results depending on their freshness. It is the foundation of alchemy... And what we are making is an Elixir. To increase even the slightest chance of success, we must prepare the finest ingredients possible.
“Okay. Fresh ingredients!”
It was not difficult.
We would kill them today and bring them back today.
A farm-to-table service!
Even the meat sold at supermarkets would not be this fresh.
Anyway...
Now that we knew what to do, should we get moving?
“Iing Iing. Let's go. Lead us somewhere with monsters nearby.”
-Iing!
Whoosh.
Iing Iing activated Psychokinetic Flight.
We rose high into the sky.
Our attempt to clear Floor 43 had begun.
* * *
After rising high into the air, we surveyed the area.
Thanks to our altitude, the plains stretched out below us.
Low hills continued in the distance. Between the remaining forests and rocks, huge figures wandered around.
Today's ingredients.
The closest one was a Troll.
The monster stomped around, snapped off a tree branch, and used it as a toothpick.
The bigger the body, the bigger the toothpick, huh?
Anyway, that one would do nicely.
I shouted.
“Dedicate your hearts!!!”
Give me your heart!
The Troll Heart was one of the ingredients for a Full Recovery Potion.
I needed to take it out fresh.
Whoosh.
We rapidly descended toward the Troll.
-Woah?
The Troll spotted us and looked up with a stupid expression, holding its toothpick, or tree branch.
I gave Iing Iing an order.
“Iing Iing. Omnidirectional Mobility Gear mode!”
-Iing!
Whoosh.
Iing Iing used psychokinesis to send me flying toward the Troll.
I raised my staff.
-Woaaaaah!
The Troll threw away its toothpick and reached out to grab me!
A seven-meter giant reaching for me had a certain sense of pressure.
Its palm was as big as my body.
But...
-Whoosh!
My Omnidirectional Mobility Gear, also known as Psychokinetic Flight, was not slow enough to be caught by a mere Troll!
“Where are you looking? That was only my afterimage.”
-Woah?
The Troll's hand flailed through empty air.
Meanwhile, I had already moved behind it.
I casually cast a spell.
“Water Jet, hoit.”
I would not kill it yet. I would only subdue it.
A blue sword aura shot out from the tip of my staff.
-Slice! Slice! Slice! Slice!
High-pressure water instantly cut through the Troll's arms and legs.
Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!
Its limbs fell powerlessly, spraying blood everywhere.
Craaaaash!
Then its huge body collapsed after losing all four limbs.
-Kwooooooaar!
The limbless Troll let out a massive roar.
I stepped onto its chest and muttered.
“Hmm... Come to think of it, it has been a really long time since I used Water Jet. Maybe because I always just click Railgun, click magic artillery, click Tactical Fireball to clear floors. It feels like I've gone back to my roots...”
Water Jet...
Even though my master had personally taught it to me.
It was a secret martial art of my sect!
But I had acquired so many powerful martial arts that I had neglected my sect's secret technique too much.
I should use Water Jet more often from now on!
Min-maxing is all well and good, but I should use it to remember my master's kindness.
Anyway, I had subdued the Troll in an instant.
“Wow... What the hell? You cut off a Troll's arms and legs and subdued it that quickly?”
“That is me.”
Whoosh.
After confirming that I had subdued the Troll, Hyeji and Choi Yejin descended.
I squared my shoulders and spoke proudly.
“Hyeji. From now on, could you call me Sergeant Baekbai?”
“Sergeant Baekbai? What is that supposed to be?”
“Humanity's strongest soldier.”
“...?”
For the record.
I had completed my mandatory service in King Korea's Army.
And as an Extreme Lunatic Hell Wizard Hunter, I possessed humanity's greatest combat power.
That was right.
I was humanity's strongest soldier!
At this point, being called Sergeant Baekbai was perfectly reasonable!
Then Choi Yejin, standing beside me, snickered.
“You're doing another weird character concept.”
“What do you mean, weird? I have Omnidirectional Mobility Gear, meaning Iing Iing, and I am a Sergeant, having completed Army service, who overwhelms giants, meaning Trolls. Isn't Sergeant Baekbai accurate enough?”
“Hmm... Now that you mention it, it does sound right. I believe you, Baek Jiho. You are Sergeant Baekbai.”
“Excuse me. I think both of you have lost your minds.”
As Choi Yejin and I chatted away, Hyeji let out a deep sigh.
“One person is completely insane, and the other is half insane... Haah. One crazy person was already enough, but now there are two...”
Hyeji grumbled with a frown.
It seemed she had gotten tired of our refined conversation.
Still, I found something strange.
‘Didn't Hyeji used to really like Choi Yejin?’
Before, Hyeji had admired and respected Choi Yejin immensely.
When I went to have an offline throwdown with Choi Yejin, Hyeji had begged to come along. She said it would be an honor just to meet her and exchange a few words.
But now she treated her like someone half insane...
It seemed that seeing her up close had shattered Hyeji's illusion.
Well.
From afar, she had looked like a cool Hunter protecting the country.
But up close, she was merely a foul-mouthed alcoholic archer mediocrity.
Hyeji's Kyoka Suigetsu had no choice but to shatter.
Admiration really was the emotion furthest from understanding!
Aizen, you were right!
Anyway.
“Let's gather the ingredients already.”
I looked down.
The Troll was wriggling beneath my feet.
Fresh flesh was already squirming out from the severed ends of its limbs.
Its regenerative ability really was incredible.
If Hunter Kim Taeseok had been a Troll, his arm would have grown back on its own by now...
Enough random thoughts. It was time to get to work.
“Earth Manipulation, yap.”
-Rumble!
I cast Earth Manipulation Magic and tightly bound the Troll's body.
Even if its limbs regenerated, that would not be a problem now.
I held out my hand to Na Hyeji.
“Scalpel.”
“...You mean you want a knife, right? Here.”
Hyeji handed me the longsword she wore at her waist.
Come to think of it, she still always brought her sword into the Tower.
Even though she had never swung it even once.
Anyway.
‘Hmm. If I cut it open here, will the heart come out? Let's try.’
I gripped the sword and...
-Stab!!!
I drove it deep into the Troll's chest.
Blood gushed through the gap around the embedded blade.
A sharp, bloody smell filled the air.
-Kwooooooaar!!!
The Troll screamed in pain.
My expression twisted without me realizing it.
“Ugh... This is disgusting. The smell of blood, all this blood pouring out...”
Maybe because I always killed enemies one-sidedly from a distance.
Cutting open its skin directly with a sword made me sick.
I could feel the texture of muscle and the pulse of its heart through the hilt.
It felt awful!
I carefully cut open the Troll's chest with the sword.
Then suddenly, I realized something.
‘Huh? Why am I doing this?’
This was supposed to be Na Hyeji the porter's job!!!
I had been so motivated that this noble body of mine had almost performed actual labor.
I turned to Hyeji.
“Hyeji. You take out the Troll Heart.”
Hyeji looked toward the Troll's chest.
It was half-open, completely stained red with flowing blood.
The shape of the heart was barely visible inside.
Hyeji's face turned pale.
“...This?”
“Yes.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because... You're the porter?”
It had been a while since Hyeji had pulled out the three-yo speech pattern.
It had been so long since she had enjoyed the easy life as Iing Iing's launcher that I had almost forgotten, but Hyeji's original job was porter and odd-jobs worker.
In other words, simple labor like this was originally Hyeji's job!
I handed her the bloody sword.
“Alright! EX-grade porter Na Hyeji, deploy!”
“...I thought I would never get blood on my hands againnn!”
“Oh, Hyeji, that line sounded kind of cool. Like a retired former assassin.”
“It isn't cool! It is not cool at all!”
Hyeji trembled as she held the sword.
“This thing is still alive! You want me to dig out the heart of a living monster?! Can't we just kill it first and take it out afterward?!”
“Fool! A living monster is fresh!”
She really did not understand.
The foundation of alchemy...
The fact that fresh ingredients were better.
These mediocrities who knew nothing about alchemy!
“Ugh... But... Ughhh...”
I waited for quite a while.
But Hyeji's hands refused to move.
Seriously.
At this rate, persuading the porter would take longer than preparing the ingredients.
“Haah. Fine. I'll do it, so just hold the container.”
“I can do that!!!”
Hyeji's hands suddenly sped up.
She was just... so irritating...!
Anyway, after that...
I performed surgery with a sword in my left hand and a staff in my right.
I roughly cut through the chest, lifted the heart, and shot Water Jet to separate it from the surrounding tissue.
Then Iing Iing used psychokinesis to pull the heart from the chest.
-Kwooooooaar!!!
-Splat.
The Troll writhed in pain.
Its head-sized heart went into the container.
“Eek...!”
Hyeji hurriedly closed the lid.
That secured our first ingredient!
Then Daesik spoke.
-...I said fresh was better. I did not say it had to be removed while the monster was alive. Immediately after death would have been sufficient...
“But wouldn't taking it out alive make it fresher?”
-...
Daesik tightly shut their mouth at my words.
As expected, they could not refute my flawless logic!
A person with outstanding craftsmanship never compromised on ingredients.
That was the attitude of an Extreme Lunatic Hell Alchemist.
Anyway, now that we had gathered an ingredient...
“Alright! Let's go get the next ingredient!”
And so.
Our insane ingredient farming began.
* * *
We traveled around the area and quickly gathered materials.
“There's an Ogre ahead.”
“...It is time for the Extreme Lunatic Hell orthopedic surgeon and dentist!!!”
Whenever we found an Ogre, I ran over, separated its flesh from its bones, and pulled out its teeth.
Then...
-Kwaaaaaaaaaar!!!
“Jiho. Pulling out its teeth while it is alive is too cruel... This is just torture...”
“Torture? I only extracted its teeth because it had severe cavities. Look. Isn't that Ogre happy to be free from tooth decay?”
“It isn't free from tooth decay. It is just free from life...”
Large Ogre teeth filled a container.
Next came the Cyclops.
“There's a Cyclops over there! Be careful not to make eye contact-”
“Can't lose a staring contest.”
The Cyclops glared at me.
So I glared back.
It must have been one of those clear-eyed lunatics, because it had a remarkably bright eye.
That sparkling eye!
Ingredients!
“Turn off Hitomi.”
For the record, hitomi meant eye in Japanese.
-Slice!
I cut off its limbs with Water Jet.
Then I carefully removed its eyeball.
The eyeball, as large as my head, floated through the air with Iing Iing's psychokinesis and went into a container.
-Kweeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!
The Cyclops went mad with pain after having its eye taken while it was alive.
The one-eyed monster had become a zero-eyed monster.
Anyway, after running around everywhere like that...
“We gathered quite a lot.”
We had secured containers full of various byproducts.
Troll Hearts and blood, Ogre bones and teeth, Cyclops eyes, Wyvern wing membranes...
Hyeji, who had watched all this, muttered.
“Today's loot is all disgusting...”
“Seriously. I need to post pictures of the loot when I make a Hunter Gallery post later. Do you think the post will get taken down as a gore post?”
“Always with that damn Hunter Gallery.”
Today's loot was all rather hideous, so I was worried about posting on Hunter Gallery later.
Surely they would not ban me?
No way.
I earned them electricity and saved the Hunter Gallery server!
If they had any conscience, they would not ban me!
Anyway, we had gathered quite a lot...
“Daesik. Is this enough?”
-It is enough. We have gathered all the required monster ingredients. Their condition is also... excellent. Perhaps taking them out while they were alive really did have an effect...
“Nice!”
We had secured plenty of top-quality ingredients!
We also had that blue potion at home.
Now I could really try making a Complete Recovery Potion!
Kim Taeseok, wait just a little longer.
I would save your arm too!
Anyway, we had gathered all the materials.
Now it was time to find the exit.
“Iing Iing. Let's get moving again.”
-Iing!
Whoosh.
We rose into the sky again.
As we crossed the next hill...
-Iing?
“What is it, Iing Iing? Did you find something?”
Iing Iing pointed into the distance.
I turned my gaze that way.
I saw people.
People running while carrying luggage.
Rattling carts and wagons.
And behind them, a middle-aged knight running with a sword in hand.
“Hmm?”
They looked familiar.
Especially that knight wearing dented armor.
‘Those are the people we saw on Floor 42?’
They were the refugees I had saved from monsters.
But why were they running like that again?
I soon found out why.
-Thud! Thud! Thud!
Huge figures charged behind the procession, kicking up clouds of dust.
Ogres.
Those refugees were being chased by Ogres again, just like before!
I muttered in disbelief.
“Why are those guys being chased by Ogres every time I see them?”
Did they smear honey all over themselves or something?
Footnotes:
“Dedicate your hearts!”, Sergeant Baekbai, and the Omnidirectional Mobility Gear joke reference Attack on Titan. Baekbai combines Baek with the Korean rendering of Levi, the “humanity's strongest soldier” reference. “Hitomi” is Japanese for “eye,” making “Turn off Hitomi” a joke about taking the Cyclops's eye.
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