WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 72: 072
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“Ugh...!”
Thud.
The woman collapsed after taking a staff to the crown of her head.
A bikini-clad pervert sprawled across the floor of my house.
I muttered quietly.
“Is she dead?”
Poke, poke.
I prodded her with my staff.
Thankfully, she didn't seem to be dead. Her chest rose and fell with each breath.
I let out a sigh of relief.
“Whew. At least she's alive. She really is a Hunter, and a Middle Floors Hunter at that.”
Well, she'd have to be a Hunter to use an artifact like that.
There was no way she wasn't.
Clicking my tongue, I muttered,
“What is this, some kind of intelligence agency hotspot? Foreign agents keep coming to my house every day.”
After the American, now a Japanese agent had come to receive a scalp massage and enjoy a nice sleep.
The Thwack-Thud Sleep Clinic was thriving.
Welcome to the Extreme Lunatic Hell Insomnia Treatment Sleep Clinic.
We'll put you to sleep like you've been knocked out.
“By the way, doesn't this Japanese agent have one of those Guardian Stone artifacts?”
Rachel carried around a Guardian Stone artifact, so I had to hit her twice every time before she went to sleep.
This woman, on the other hand, started snoring the moment I gave her one good knock on the head.
Then again, Japan's Point situation was only a little better than Korea's.
They probably couldn't hand out expensive Grade 2 artifacts to field agents like America could.
It was a strange way to feel the difference in national power.
Anyway.
I took out my smartphone and called Han Seonga.
“Han Seonga.”
-Yes, Baek Jiho.
“I think I need to open an intelligence agency sleep clinic alongside the power plant.”
-?
“After the American, I had a Japanese customer receive scalp massage and sleep therapy too. I want some Korean customers as well. Would you like to come, Han Seonga?”
-...?
Does the National Intelligence Service want to get hit?
Their security perimeter kept getting breached like it was nothing.
It seemed she didn't quite understand what I meant.
-I'll head over right away.
She said it in such an even tone.
A little later, Han Seonga arrived.
* * *
“This is...?!”
The moment Han Seonga arrived at my house, she looked around the living room with alarmed eyes.
Of course she was alarmed.
“Don't tell me, Jiho...?”
“...Could you stop looking at me like that? It looks bad, but she's a Japanese agent. Don't misunderstand. I'm seriously being framed here.”
A woman in a bikini had passed out late at night, tied up tightly in packing tape.
It was easy to mistake this for some kind of crime scene!
Fortunately, clearing up the misunderstanding was easy.
“Here, Seonga. Look at this.”
“Could that be...?! Put that away! That's a Mind Control Artifact!”
Han Seonga flinched when I held up the pink card.
It seemed she knew what this artifact was.
That made explaining things easier.
Just as I was about to speak,
“...A Mind Control Artifact? Don't tell me?!”
Before I could explain anything, Han Seonga shot to her feet.
She raised her smartphone and shouted urgently.
“Security team! Respond!”
-...
“They aren't answering? How could this happen...!”
Seonga hurried outside.
What? Where was she suddenly going?
A little later, Han Seonga returned.
She dragged in a string of National Intelligence Service agents in suits, like sausages tied together.
Their condition was strange, though.
“Uh, why do these people look like that? They all look completely out of it.”
“...I believe they were hit by that Mind Control Artifact. Everyone assigned to Security Perimeter Three was affected.”
“Ah.”
The National Intelligence Service security personnel had all been subdued by the Mind Control Artifact.
The National Intelligence Service was too weak.
They got hit by one mind-control beam and were left reeling.
Then again, mind control was an absurd ability, so it had to be at least a Grade 1 artifact.
Maybe they couldn't have helped falling for it.
The hypnosis app was this powerful.
“Are they going to stay like that?”
“Probably not. The duration of a Mind Control Artifact increases according to the Points invested. They likely didn't spend many Points just to subdue security personnel, so they'll wake up soon.”
Just as she said.
The National Intelligence Service agents gradually came back to their senses.
“Gasp. What is this...?!”
“Why am I here...?”
“Where did that woman go?!”
They looked around frantically, their guard up.
Then Han Seonga, absolutely furious, shouted at them.
“You idiots! Every last one of you got breached by one person?!”
“D-Department Head!”
“Get back out there and guard the area! Rebuild the security perimeter right now!”
“Yes!”
The National Intelligence Service agents hurried outside as though fleeing.
That was unexpected.
So Seonga had quite the temper when she wanted to.
She was always so businesslike around me that I had no idea.
Han Seonga let out a long sigh.
“I have no excuse, Baek Jiho. Once again, we failed to protect Hunter Baek Jiho... I can only apologize for showing you such incompetence every time.”
I only shrugged.
Well... I used to get angry and frustrated whenever the National Intelligence Service was breached.
Now I just accepted it.
Somehow, I had become used to their failures.
Honestly, what could they do?
Korea had no High Floor Hunter special operations operatives.
It didn't even have a decent covert operations artifact.
That was the National Intelligence Service of our country.
Against overpowered items like artifacts, an agent's skill didn't mean anything.
The difference in equipment was just that overwhelming.
Anyway.
“Han Seonga, she's definitely a Japanese agent, right? I heard from Choi Yejin that Japan often uses honey traps.”
“...That is true. It's well known that Japan recruited Korean Normal Hunters through honey traps. But I never expected them to use a Mind Control Artifact as well...”
“So people didn't know they were using Mind Control Artifacts?”
“There had been suspicions, but this is the first time it has been properly confirmed. Mental manipulation artifacts are among the representative artifacts banned under the London Convention.”
It seemed Mind Control Artifacts were banned internationally.
Well, it made sense that they would be.
A hypnosis app appearing in real life.
On sites like Hitomi, it was used for lewd purposes, but if abused, it could be dangerously versatile, couldn't it?
For example, if someone brainwashed a national leader and made them press the nuclear button, nuclear war would start that very day...
The international community had no choice but to ban it.
Anyway, she was a Japanese agent.
I should find out what was going on, right?
Poke, poke.
I woke the unconscious Japanese agent by prodding her with my staff.
I didn't shake her awake with my bare hands.
Considering what she was wearing...
“Hey, wake up, onna.”
As I kept poking her with my staff, the woman slowly opened her eyes.
“Urgh...! Where am I...?”
“Hey, omae. What business do you have in watashi's cardboard house desuung!”
“What the hell are you saying?!”
The woman frowned deeply.
Did my Japanese not work?
I had no choice but to use Korean.
I raised my staff to threaten her.
“State your affiliation, rank, name, and purpose. Otherwise, you're getting another lump on your head. For your reference, I mean your skull.”
“...You would know if you checked my belongings.”
“I did check. But that's obviously bullshit.”
Flutter.
I pulled out the ID card and business card from her wallet and read them.
“Overseas Sales Team Sales Manager at Mitsubishi Electric. Tsukishiro Karen? Does that sound believable to you?”
“Why wouldn't it be believable? I only came to Korea for sales work because of the Extreme Lunatic Hell Power Plan. Don't you need a lot of transformers and ultra-high-voltage cables? Our company will sell them to you cheaply. Buy them.”
“You're keeping up the act to the end, even after using a hypnosis app.”
“...”
“Let's start with your name. Tsukishiro Karen, that's a cover identity, right? What's your real name?”
This woman's cover identity was an overseas sales representative for Mitsubishi Electric, a major Japanese corporation.
It was an extremely convincing cover.
King Korea was carrying out the Extreme Lunatic Hell Power Plan.
There was enormous demand for electrical infrastructure.
Transformers, cables, cooling systems, and all kinds of facilities had to be newly built or relocated.
In that situation, it was perfectly natural for an electrical company from another country to visit Korea for sales work.
By posing as a sales representative from a Japanese electrical company, she would have an easier time finding an opportunity to meet me, the power plant director.
It was quite an excellent cover identity.
But perhaps she hadn't known I was a shut-in who never left home.
She couldn't find a chance to meet me.
In the end, she tried to force her way in late at night.
Anyway.
“Tell me your real affiliation and rank now. Or you'll get another lump on your head.”
“...”
“Are you going to keep your mouth shut? I have no choice...! I'll have to use the hypnosis app!”
“...!”
I held up the pink card.
The woman squeezed her eyes shut.
Not so fast!
I forcibly opened her eyelids, held the card in front of her face, and said,
“Tell me your real affiliation and name.”
Hummm.
A pink aura rippled from the card.
[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 30)]
[242,100 Points]
[242,000 Points]
One hundred Points were deducted.
The woman spoke quietly, her eyes unfocused.
“I am... Yukimura Shizuku. Cabinet Intelligence and Research Office... International Department. Counselor's Aide.”
“Seonga, do you know that organization?”
“It's a Japanese intelligence agency. It reports directly to the Prime Minister. You can think of it as an organization like our National Intelligence Service.”
“So she really was an intelligence agent.”
It wasn't particularly surprising, since I had expected it.
I had encountered people from the CIA and National Intelligence Service far too often.
Intelligence agents weren't all that fascinating anymore.
The agents in movies used to look incredibly strong, cool, and mysterious.
In reality, they constantly let security perimeters get breached and screwed up like amateurs, like the National Intelligence Service.
They got thwack-thudded and started snoring, like the American CIA.
They invaded as a group and got beaten down, like China's Ministry of State Security.
And they wandered around in bikinis, like Japan's CIRO.
If anything, they seemed a little pathetic.
I continued questioning her.
“So, what was your purpose in coming after me?”
[241,970 Points]
Thirty Points were deducted.
What was the standard for Point consumption?
Making her reveal her affiliation cost one hundred Points, but making her reveal her purpose only cost thirty.
Was there some separate criterion?
Yukimura's vague voice continued.
“Baek Jiho... Korea's sixth Hard-rank Hunter. My purpose was to recruit you to Japan.”
“Why me specifically? Choi Yejin is there too.”
“Choi Yejin is a Highest Floors Hunter... Her mental barrier is strong, so the artifact would either not work or require too many Points. But Baek Jiho is still in the Middle Floors... It was expected to work sufficiently. In addition, Baek Jiho is a Hunter who can obtain Magic Stone Reactors despite being in the Middle Floors. It was believed that you would provide far more benefit to Japan than Choi Yejin.”
“Why did you come wearing a bikini?”
“...To increase the chance of brainwashing, the target's mental barrier needs to be weakened as much as possible.”
“Ah. A kind of mental attack? You were going to hypnotize me while I was distracted by the bikini?”
“That is correct.”
I continued the interrogation.
As a result, I learned several things.
First, this Mind Control Artifact didn't seem completely invincible.
It didn't work well on high-ranking Hunters from the High Floors or above.
Even among Middle Floors Hunters, those with strong mental strength could resist to some degree.
So, to maximize the chance of success, they needed something that would throw the target's mind off balance.
And that was the damn bikini...
I clicked my tongue.
“How foolish. Did you think this body, the Extreme Lunatic Hell Wizard Hunter, would be distracted by something as trivial as a bikini!”
“Urgh... When we investigated, it said you liked things like this...!”
“Haha, what are you talking about? Why would I like bikinis?”
“But if we examine your internet search history-”
“Stop, stop! Shut up!”
I hurriedly covered the woman's mouth.
Then I slowly turned to look at Han Seonga.
She stood there with an expressionless face.
“Han Seonga, you know that's all propaganda and fabrication, right? I don't like bikinis. Ah, but the National Intelligence Service hasn't investigated things like my internet history, right? I'm just curious.”
“...”
“Um, Han Seonga?”
Han Seonga stood there without the slightest change in expression.
Surely not... right?
They hadn't looked through my search history and records of visiting private sites, had they?
No, that couldn't be it.
I used a VPN when I watched adult content.
A paid VPN, no less.
The advertisements said it was impossible to track.
How could they know my internet history?
As anxiety overwhelmed me, Han Seonga spoke quietly.
“Baek Jiho.”
“Yes.”
“A VPN isn't invincible. If someone wants to look, they can.”
“...”
“That's all. Keep that in mind.”
“...”
I despaired.
Damn modern society.
Protecting one's privacy was far too difficult.
Those Japanese bastards!
How dare they invade my privacy and embarrass me.
I would have my revenge!
“Yukimura Shizuku. Do the Zero Two dance.”
Since I was embarrassed, I would embarrass her too!
It absolutely wasn't for the purpose of satisfying my personal desires.
But unfortunately,
“...What is the Zero Two dance?”
“...”
This woman didn't seem to know Zero Two, despite being Japanese.
But Choi Yejin had clearly said Japanese girls used bikinis and the Zero Two dance as honey traps.
Did you lie to me, Choi Yejin...?
“...I believe we've learned everything we need to know. We'll take this woman with us.”
Clank.
Seonga took out a strange pair of handcuffs and fastened them around the woman's wrists.
They were made from solid metal and looked incredibly sturdy, probably restraints made specifically for Hunters.
“We'll conduct the rest of the investigation ourselves.”
“Okay. Ah, and here's the Mind Control Artifact. Take it.”
I handed the pink card to Han Seonga.
She looked at me with surprise in her eyes.
“You're... giving this to us?”
“Yes.”
“Isn't this Hunter Baek Jiho's spoils of war? Why would you give it to us...?”
It was a Grade 1 artifact.
A covert operations artifact that was surely worth at least trillions of won.
Of course she was surprised to suddenly receive something so valuable.
I spoke quietly.
“This Mind Control Artifact is banned under the London Convention, right?”
“That is correct. It is a banned artifact. But... as you can see from this incident, even banned artifacts are used secretly by everyone. Intelligence agencies don't care about means or methods when it comes to national interests. And Hunter Baek Jiho is an individual, not affiliated with an agency, so you could use it in secret yourself.”
“Well, that's true. But if we have this, can't we prove that Japan abducted our country's Hunters through illegal means?”
“...Don't tell me.”
“Let's submit it to London as evidence and bring back the Middle Floors Hunters Japan took from us.”
There were over a hundred Korean Normal Hunters whom Japan had taken through vile and disgusting methods.
I intended to bring them back.
Footnotes:
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