WeTried Translations
Translator: Coughing Baby
Editor: Coughing Baby
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 49: Happy Ending
──────
Fwoooosh!
The Balloon Knife’s light showed no sign of fading for quite some time.
Amid the swirling flash, a blue window appeared.
Ding!
[Option assignment complete.]
Only then did the light finally fade.
I quietly examined the Balloon Knife in my hand.
As always, it was a cute knife with a colorful appearance.
There was one difference, though.
It now gave off a faint glow.
‘What...?’
I stood there, still unable to process it.
Then the status window continued its explanation.
Ding!
[Balloon Knife+]
-Category: Growth-Type Weapon
-Rank: E+
-Growth Limit Rank: None
-Status: Colorful, Squishy, Sparkly
-Description: A special Balloon Knife. It emits a faint light of purification from its blade. This weapon can grow.
“What?”
I blankly read through the text on the screen.
Basically, it had gained purification and illumination options.
In other words, it now had an LED feature.
My Absolute Balloon Sword had evolved into an Absolute Bright Balloon Sword.
‘That’s not all.’
The weapon had gained a growth option.
It wouldn’t just shine, it would continue to improve.
“What is this?”
I’d never seen a Balloon Knife gain options like these before.
Was this really the reward for a hidden quest I’d completed out of nowhere?
Parry three hundred times with one weapon, and that weapon gained an option.
I’d gotten something good.
Squish...
I fiddled with its glowing surface.
A faint light of purification seeped out.
“Hmm.”
Growth-type.
Purification attribute.
Starting at E+ rank.
I could almost smell something sweet.
“Items like this usually have a high ceiling...”
That was usually how it went.
Weapons that grew had greater potential than weapons that were complete from the start.
And this one didn’t even have a growth limit rank.
Normally, it should have been set at around B-rank or A-rank.
But there was no such label...
‘Could it break through the S-rank ceiling entirely?’
Right now, it was just an LED-equipped Balloon Knife, but if I raised it right, it might become an endgame weapon.
Of course, I wasn’t certain.
For all I knew, it could reach S-rank and still only be decent.
Besides, there was the question of how I was supposed to raise an E+-rank item all the way to S-rank.
‘I’ll think about that later.’
I gathered my scattered thoughts.
A smile lingered on my lips.
‘Who knew I’d get a haul like this?’
Swish, swish.
Grinning widely, I swung the Balloon Knife a few times.
Maybe because the surroundings were dark, the trail it drew looked especially dazzling.
It felt like I was holding a lightsaber.
‘Fucking cool...’
There were three things that moved a man’s heart.
One was dinosaurs.
One was Faker.
The last was lightsabers.
‘It even changes color.’
I didn’t know how it worked, but every time I touched the blade, its color changed.
Blue, red, purple, green, and more.
Colors that brought to mind an order of knights from a galaxy far, far away.
Feeling more satisfied than I had with all the rewards I’d received before, I headed toward the designated meeting point.
Carmilla, who had arrived first, greeted me.
“Viktor.”
“Your Highness! You were waiting for me.”
“As requested, I have finished with the research wing.”
“I cleared out the hallway as well. Shall we move to the next point?”
“Let us. Hmm, but... did that Balloon Knife always glow?”
“Isn’t it cool?”
“It certainly is... Its shining appearance is impressive.”
“I knew it! I knew Your Highness would recognize this blade’s value!”
“My eye for beauty is exceptional, after all.”
We traded nonsense as we walked.
The Cult branch had already been reduced to ruins.
We’d wiped out every last cultist and destroyed all the experimental facilities.
‘All that’s left now is...’
The head of this branch.
In other words, the stage boss.
Regardless of a dungeon’s difficulty, there was always a boss monster.
And we were on our way to hunt one.
“Hmm... More importantly, where is this research director hiding?”
“Probably on the third basement floor. The director’s office is there.”
“You said the civilians captured as test subjects were on the third basement floor as well.”
“Let’s deal with the director first, then free the people.”
“What do you make of this director, Viktor?”
“What do you mean?”
The girl tilted her head slightly.
Red eyes glimmered between strands of silver hair that had fallen loose.
“Is he strong?”
“I’d say he’s about twenty percent as strong as Professor Glinbert.”
“He doesn’t seem very strong. Is that because he isn’t a combatant?”
“That’s right. Though Professor Glinbert is absurdly strong as well.”
“But wasn’t Professor Glinbert helpless against Professor Javert?”
“That’s because Professor Javert is exceptional...”
Javert was simply in a different weight class.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have brought her into the Glinbert affair.
The youngest chief investigator.
The headmaster’s disciple and foster daughter.
Grandia Academy’s de facto second-in-command.
‘To think she gave me a wish ticket...’
I’d hit the jackpot in more ways than one.
Javert was the rigid, by-the-book sort.
She wasn’t the kind of person to break a promise or pretend she’d forgotten it.
If anything, she’d do whatever she could to grant my request.
‘Of course... as long as it doesn’t go against her sense of justice.’
I should probably have a private, one-on-one conversation with her sometime.
I could already think of plenty of ways to use it.
As I walked, lost in idle thoughts...
Splat, splat.
Wet footsteps sounded from beyond the hallway.
From the direction of the director’s office, where we were headed.
“Viktor.”
“Yes.”
We stopped.
After waiting a moment, something poked its head out from the end of the corridor.
“Intruders.”
It was a man in a hooded robe.
Rather than wait for us to come, had he decided to confront us first?
Wrapped in demonic energy, the stranger was casting a spell.
“How dare you, how dare you, how dare you... Do you know where you are?!”
Kwoooosh!
Ominous shadows swarmed through the entire hallway.
They condensed into a single stream and shot toward us like a crimson beam.
“What did you do to my laboratoryyyyy?!”
Kwagwagwagwa!
The attack rushed forward, literally shattering the hallway.
The research director had apparently lost his mind, his eyes wild.
Even with that surging beam before me, I didn’t retreat. I kicked off the ground and charged forward.
“Your Highness.”
“Yes, I’ll assist.”
The pocket watch was already in my hand.
I pressed its button and swung the balloon.
Click.
The beam’s straight trajectory twisted.
A light parry, then another parry against the follow-up attack.
Carmilla blocked the debris flying in every direction.
“Who sent you?! Fuck, was it the Border Knight Order?! Who are youuu?!”
The director shouted as if he’d been wronged.
Was he really just a nameless trash boss in the original work?
He was so pathetic that I almost felt sorry for him.
“F-f-fuck! Why are you doing this to us?! Why did you suddenly come here and start this shiiit?!”
“Who knows.”
I snickered.
I’d already deflected five beams, and only a few steps remained between the director and me.
“You didn’t need a reason to torment people either, did you?”
The pocket watch was already put away, replaced by the dark crimson scythe in my hand.
The smiling mask reflected in his pupils.
Without hesitation, I chanted the spell.
“Activate. Axe.”
Thwack!
Black blood splattered through the air.
* * *
Cult Branch 31.
Its research director, Kilgrim.
The middle-aged dark mage panted harshly.
“Huff, huff...”
The axe had barely missed him.
His upper and lower halves had nearly been separated.
Kilgrim’s eyes widened as he scrambled backward.
“F-fuuuck...”
His pupils shook violently.
All he could see were white and red masks.
The fucking lunatics who had suddenly stormed into his laboratory and wrecked everything.
‘Why, why...?!’
Kilgrim felt wronged.
He should have been enjoying himself by torturing test subjects right now, but instead, he was about to be killed.
His precious daily life was falling apart.
That humble, beautiful life of dissecting test subjects and stirring the intestines of kidnapped people was being destroyed.
“Ah...”
Death approached before his eyes.
The one in the white mask was coming closer, swinging an axe.
Kilgrim had attacked several times already, but the masked figure had simply deflected everything as if it were laughable.
“Don’t come closer...”
Kilgrim was terrified.
“I said don’t come near me...!”
But the mask didn’t care.
As Kilgrim backed away, a strange voice rang in his ear.
<I’ll lend you my power.>
A sudden voice.
Panicking, Kilgrim could only react stupidly.
<So... won’t you make a contract with me?>
“Uh, uhh?”
<I’ll let you defeat them. You’ll gain tremendous power.>
“I-I’ll do it! I’ll do anything! Just save me!”
Nothing else mattered.
Kilgrim wanted to live.
Apparently pleased by that answer, the voice in his ear laughed brightly.
<Good.>
Whirrr!
At the same time, something wrapped around Kilgrim’s body.
A pure white afterimage spread over him, as though it were the source of that power.
Soon, Kilgrim’s whole body was enveloped in light.
<Transform.>
The next moment, Kilgrim remained standing in the same spot.
But his appearance had changed considerably.
“U-uh...?”
It was strange.
It felt like he had someone else’s body.
When he looked down, he saw his changed appearance.
The dreary robe he had worn moments ago was gone, replaced by a fluttery short skirt and outfit.
“Eek, eek?!”
His voice had changed too.
His body was no longer that of a middle-aged man, but that of a young girl.
She looked to be in her mid-teens at most.
<Can you feel the power?>
The whisper was right.
From within that altered body, she could feel an incredible amount of energy.
The grimoire she’d held had already changed into an adorable magic wand.
<Magical girl of justice, Kilgrim!>
<Blow away those masked monsters before you!>
The trembling girl finally regained her senses.
The two masks in front of her seemed stunned and hesitant.
Kilgrim swung the magic wand.
It was power she’d never used before, but instinctively, she knew how to wield it.
“With the power of love and justice!”
A shining heart.
“Magical Beam☆!!!”
Kwoooosh!
A beam sparkling with love filled her vision.
The wicked masked monsters couldn’t even resist. They were swept up by the beam and vaporized.
“...!?”
“...!”
The hallway had been thoroughly wrecked.
Only Kilgrim remained standing there.
The girl panted as she stared at the empty space.
“I-I did it...!”
With unknown power, she had defeated the wicked masked monsters.
Kilgrim had overcome the crisis.
Only then did the girl examine her body.
Her reflection in the pool of blood was utterly shocking.
“Eeh? Is this really me...?”
A short skirt in lovely colors, white pantyhose visible beneath it.
A star-like aura sparkling around her, along with sky-blue hair tied into twin tails.
The girl touched her body, looking a little embarrassed.
She was the perfect gender-bent magical girl.
“Oi, oi! A magical girl saved us!”
Then...
The subordinates hiding throughout the hallway poked their heads out.
A magical girl had descended like a shining star, breaking through the wicked monsters’ invasion.
“Damn it, I knew we could count on you!”
“As expected of a magical girl! To think the director had such amazing power!”
“Amazing! There’s no way pathetic masked monsters could stop a gender-bent magical girl’s Magical Futanari Kidnapping Confinement Cervix Training Orgasm Beam!”
The people cheered.
Kilgrim’s face reddened slightly, but she waved at their passionate praise.
“Heheh...”
Then...
The laboratory ceiling was torn away.
The dark ceiling vanished, revealing the blue sky beyond.
Beyond the collapsed ceiling stood a gigantic Mecha Tyrannosaurus.
“W-what is that?!”
Kilgrim panicked.
But the Mecha Tyrannosaurus spoke as if telling her to calm down.
“Calm down, Kilgrim.”
“W-who are you?”
“Ah, I’m your dad.”
“Dad...!”
A moving reunion between father and daughter.
Crying, Kilgrim ran over and hugged the Mecha Tyrannosaurus.
Then...
Light shone through the air, and a mysterious Masked Rider appeared.
“Kilgrim! Look at me!”
“W-what...?”
“I’m your mom! When you were six months old, I had an affair with another man and ran away after abandoning you beneath a bridge over the river!”
“Mom? B-but you’re a man...!”
“A man can be a mother! Cast aside that narrow-minded idea that roles are determined by gender!”
“Ah...! I lacked LGBT sensitivity!”
“That’s right, my daughter! Come hug your mother too!”
Hug!
The girl threw herself into the Masked Rider’s arms.
This time, it was a moving reunion between mother and daughter.
“Sniff, Mom...! How could you come back after having an affair?!”
“My affair partner got old and developed erectile dysfunction! He was trash who couldn’t do anything except in bed!”
“So that’s why you came back to Dad! You’re planning to mooch off him because he can’t perform in bed, but he’s at least capable!”
“You really are your mother’s smart daughter! Your father kindly took me back in.”
“Oh, honestly! Our dad really is a hopeless cuckold!”
Mecha Tyrannosaurus dad.
Masked Rider mom.
Magical girl Kilgrim.
The whole family was together.
Kilgrim was happy.
“Heheh... Heheheh...”
And so, the world found peace.
Magical☆Director protected the world forever and ever.
It was said that the reunited family fell apart again in less than a year.
Happy Ending.
And they lived happily ever after.
-The end-
Mistaken for a Masked Monster
The End
* * *
“Viktor.”
“Yes?”
“This.”
The princess suddenly called out to me.
Where she pointed lay something wet and squelching.
“This one is smiling...”
“Oh, it is.”
The research director.
His name was Kilgrim, wasn’t it?
His entire body had been chopped to pieces by my axe.
Yet there was something strange about the head rolling around on the floor.
“Heheh, heheheh...”
He was smiling even as he died.
His eyes had rolled all the way back, so he didn’t seem conscious.
I tilted my head, then decided it didn’t matter and stopped paying attention.
“Leave him alone. He must be having a nice dream.”
“Hmm. Very well.”
We had no more business with someone who was already a corpse.
Bam!
The smiling face was split in two by an axe.
Once the laughter stopped, I walked down the hallway again.
Carmilla stood beside me without paying it much attention either.
“Phew... We’ve dealt with everything, so it’s time to collect the rewards, right?”
I grinned.
Just wait.
Furube, yurayura.[1]
Footnotes:
[1] “Furube, yurayura” references a summoning incantation from Jujutsu Kaisen.
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