WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 14: Necessity Is the Mother of Invention

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The regressor looked back and forth between Azzy and me with cold eyes. After using every ounce of eloquence I had, I managed to convince her. She still hadn't lowered her guard around me, but perhaps she'd decided to watch for now, because she sheathed her sword again.

I sighed inwardly, then asked something that suddenly occurred to me.

"By the way, Trainee Shei."

"What?"

"What brings you here? Don't tell me you were tailing us."

"Tailing you? I was looking for you and simply ended up following you!"

The regressor floated Skywarbler above her head again, crossed her arms, and tilted her head slightly.

"Tyrkanzyaka was curious. About that class you mentioned. Where and when it would be held."

"Huh? We're actually doing that?"

'You said you would!'

The regressor glared at me as though I'd said something absurd. I flinched and nodded.

"Ah, all right. I just need to prepare, right?"

"Try your best. I'll be looking forward to it."

Turning her back on me, the regressor added one last thing.

"Of course, I'll be attending too."

A guy who'd survived by scraping by in back alleys was going to teach a class? I didn't have enough knowledge to teach anyone.

Sure, I was relatively well educated here, but all I had was graduation from elementary citizen school and a dropout record from military secondary school.

Entering military secondary school meant I'd received a better education than an ordinary Level 1 citizen. Still, that was only because I'd read the thoughts of the second-ranked student in the entire school. If not for that perfectly legal mind-reading cheating, my education would've ended at citizen school.

Why did I read the second-ranked student's thoughts?

Because I was ranked first.

I hadn't taken first place through pure skill. I could only do it because every student who showed me their thoughts during the exam lent me their knowledge.

All examinees, lend me your knowledge!

To all the students whose rankings dropped one place because of me, thank you, and sorry.

Thinking back on it brought up old memories. The instructors praised me for being a genius who would bring glory to the military state because of my absurdly high grades. Then I screwed up spectacularly in practical training, so officer academy was no longer an option. I dropped out as though I were running away.

And this was where I ended up.

Like every person who'd grown old the wrong way, I muttered as I remembered my student days.

"Maybe that was the golden age of my life."

The days when I coasted through life with nothing but mind reading. I missed them.

Even memories I thought had lost all their flavor with age tasted good when I chewed on them again. The problem was that I couldn't remember a single thing I was supposed to teach.

As I absentmindedly fiddled with my pocket, a thought struck me, and I clapped my hands.

"Ah! I've got that!"

This would do. I smiled to myself.

The first through third floors of Tantalus were prison cells. A normal prison brought to mind the stifling atmosphere created by oppressive order, but Tantalus, a prison with only inmates and no guards, had strayed slightly from the usual prison archetype.

The stone walls had crumbled, and the iron bars were bent every which way.

Apparently, iron bars and stone walls hadn't been obstacles to the prisoners locked up here. The stone walls had been smashed apart, steel doors flattened into thin dough flakes, and the bars meant to confine prisoners twisted like pulled candy. One wall had a spear made by twisting together three iron bars embedded in it. Another cell had been cut into a perfect square and dropped onto the ground.

Iron bars could be twisted, and entire rooms could be carved out.

Insane.

To the prisoners here, prison must've been no more than a toy.

That was creepy. How had ordinary laborers survived in a place crawling with monsters like this?

Ah! They hadn't survived, so they all died!

Having solved that mystery, I climbed the stairs with a much lighter heart.

From the fourth floor onward was the laborers' area. It was also where I stayed, since I didn't have anywhere else to go. The doors couldn't be locked, but they could be opened and shut freely. There were even facilities such as a cafeteria and laundry room, however bare-bones they might be.

I headed for the laborer training room at the end of the fourth-floor corridor.

"Hello!"

My "trainees" were waiting for me there.

A coffin giving off an ominous aura floated in the air, having shoved aside the desks. The regressor sat with her arms crossed and legs folded, glaring at me with a delinquent slouch. Azzy lay sprawled on her stomach in one corner of the training room. She appeared to have come just to play.

I stood at the lectern under everyone's gaze. It was a humble classroom with just one person, one corpse, and one dog, but standing at the front still made me strangely nervous.

Before I began, I exhaled deeply to compose myself.

It's fine. I've done this plenty of times. Just relax and pretend I'm selling medicine to a sucker.

There wasn't much difference, really.

"All right. Let me first explain the goal of this training. From what I've seen over the past two days, all of you with your superhuman strength lack ordinary common sense. If I sent you out into society like this, you wouldn't be able to blend in with people and would only end up isolated. Then you'd return here, right? So..."

[Wait.]

A sinister voice came from the coffin. The vampire spoke in a displeased tone.

[You claim to have come to teach us, yet what sort of attire is that?]

"Huh? What's wrong with my clothes?"

A military state issue shirt and shorts with built-in underwear. It was a light outfit, but nothing unusual.

Apparently, though, even that level of casualness displeased a thousand-year-old vampire fossil.

[Teaching is like water. It must flow from a high place so those below may receive it. Therefore, an educator must always possess the authority befitting that role. How could anyone feel inclined to listen to someone dressed so disgracefully?]

"That's ridiculous. I never thought I'd get criticized for my outfit by someone lying in a coffin."

[…This is...]

"Ah, I know, I know. It's like a wheelchair, right? I'm not going to make a big deal out of it."

Cough! Cough!

The regressor, who'd been quietly listening, turned red and began coughing violently. It seemed she'd cracked up at the mention of a wheelchair. That hadn't been my intention, but at least it corrected her bad posture, so I'd call that satisfying.

'...A wheelchair? He's saying something incomprehensible again... But what is that? For some reason, it sounds unpleasant.'

Good. I'd never explain what a wheelchair was.

I gripped the lectern firmly and threatened the floating coffin.

"And Trainee Tyrkanzyaka, I had a reason for coming dressed like this, you know? Don't doubt your instructor before class has even begun."

[Very well. Show me. I hope those words are not simply an excuse to save face.]

"Just don't faint from surprise."

I would show this old-fashioned vampire the greatness of modern technology. I stretched my left arm out to the side.

"Every citizen of the military state undergoes biometric registration at the age of eighteen, around the time they finish growing. Height, weight, body type, skeletal structure, the thickness and length of every limb. Everything is recorded and engraved into their body."

I turned my wrist. There was an unnatural-looking hole in my left wrist. The recess carved into my skin looked as though something was meant to be inserted into it.

"That gives the military state the most advanced personal identification system in the world, along with several useful inventions."

I took out the item Azzy and I had found in the administration office. The small dark blue sphere was exactly the right size to fit into the recess in my wrist.

By now, most of them had figured it out. The regressor already knew what it was, and even the vampire, who had noticed how strange the hole in my body was, had roughly guessed how the sphere was used.

"The military state's technology is the best in the world. This is the pinnacle of the military state's alchemical clothing technology."

With those words, I inserted the dark blue sphere into the hole in my wrist. It clicked neatly into place.

At that moment, blue threads covered my entire body.

Thick, sturdy fibers followed my skin, forming a framework and drawing guiding lines. Fine blue threads wove back and forth between them in layers. Clothes took shape at once according to alchemical patterns. Thread became cloth, and cloth became fabric, stacking neatly over itself.

For some reason, it felt like I had to, so I spun around on the spot. After about three turns, an instructor's uniform fitted perfectly to my body covered me from head to toe.

Instantly transformed into the image of a seasoned instructor, I gave a regulation salute and spoke.

"A clothing packet."

It took only ten seconds for a crisp instructor's uniform to cover my body. It was an invention of the century, transforming into clothes that fit my body perfectly based on information recorded in my bio-terminal.

If torn or dirty, I could simply turn the clothes back into a packet and wipe it clean.

One of the seven greatest inventions created by the military state, competing for the top spot among them all: the clothing packet.

I pinched the shoulder line with my fingers and puffed myself up.

"Thanks to the invention of clothing packets, citizens of the military state were freed from the curse of laundry. Clothing expenses dropped dramatically too. A person only needs two or three clothing packets to keep rotating through them."

[Hooh.]

"Now do you understand, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka? The reason I came dressed lightly was to show you how to equip a clothing packet. It's best to wear only issue underwear beforehand."

Only a low hum came from the coffin. Still, I clearly heard the vampire's thoughts.

'How fascinating... So much changed while I slept!'

I knew Tyrkanzyaka would like it.

It's a misconception that older people have trouble with modern civilization. If anything, they accept it more eagerly and take a deeper interest in it. Curiosity naturally drives people to explore things they don't take for granted.

The problem is that nostalgia or familiarity makes them say, "Still, the old days had their charm," before they go right back to square one.

The vampire's interest was now focused on the bio-terminal and clothing packet.

"An instructor's uniform... Hmph."

The regressor frowned as though my attire displeased her. The vampire asked her a question.

[Child. You do not have one of those on your wrist, do you?]

"I would never get one of those."

The regressor answered with a sour expression.

"That is for surveillance. It is a product of authoritarianism, created to monitor and control every citizen of the military state."

[Authoritarianism?]

"It means watching the entire population and monitoring their every movement. You need a bio-terminal to access major roads or institutions. That way, if someone goes down a road they shouldn't, they can be arrested immediately."

[…Is there a problem with that?]

The regressor, who had seen the future, might not understand, but that vampire was truly from a long time ago. Tyrkanzyaka had lived since before monarchies had even begun functioning properly. Did human rights exist back then? If they had, Tyrkanzyaka wouldn't have died at that age and become a vampire.

The regressor seemed to realize that and clicked her tongue softly before adding,

"Besides, the bio-terminal has a far bigger problem than that."

Footnotes:

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