WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 16: Humanity's Enemy Isn't the Alarm Clock, It's the Morning

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There was a joke in the military state.

The Military State Research Institute studied every field in the world. Ergonomists who studied the human body and materials engineers who explored the properties of materials worked in the same building. Every now and then, they accidentally entered each other's offices, yet supposedly did not realize they were in the wrong room until it was time to go home.

Really, it was not a funny joke at all.

Bzzzzzzzz-.

A painfully loud noise assaulted my eardrums. That they were still intact despite this daily abuse meant either my eardrums worked better than expected or the military state's scientists had built the alarm properly.

Bend, but do not break. The motto of the military state's materials engineers. I did not even want to imagine how much effort went into making that one sound.

"Ugh, I hate this so much..."

Why? Why did I have to be greeted by that alarm clock every morning? Why did I have to start each day in misery?

I felt like I was losing my mind. Burying my face in the hard pillow, I shouted.

"Please, somebody turn off that damn alarm clock!"

"Woof!"

"Huh?"

I had not expected an answer, but who?

After stupidly blurting out that one word, I raised my head and saw Azzy flying through the air. She leaped up in a single bound, kicked off the wall, and shot upward. Then she raised a front paw and smacked the shrieking alarm clock.

Crash!

Had I ever compared an alarm clock to a cicada made of steel?

The steel cicada that tormented me with its noisy cries every morning was crushed beneath the paw of a four-legged beast. Gears resembling innards scattered in every direction, while the thin, flat steel plate that made the sound let out one final death cry and crumpled.

The alarm clock had been flattened and half embedded in the wall. To take it apart, I would have to gouge out the stone wall.

Gears and scraps of steel plate flew wildly through the air. As I stared blankly at the sight, Azzy came over, her tail swaying as if she wanted praise.

"...Do you want me to praise you?"

"Woof! Woof woof!"

"Yeah, good job. You did do well. You finished off the evil alarm clock that tormented me every morning... So thoroughly that it can't even be repaired."

The main components had been completely destroyed. Unless Tantalus had a forge somewhere, there was no way to salvage it.

I brushed back my hair and grabbed Azzy by the shoulders.

"But do you know something, Azzy? What torments me isn't the alarm clock that rings loudly every morning. The alarm clock is only the vanguard. The real mastermind is morning itself, the thing that makes the alarm clock ring."

"Woof?"

"That's right. Morning is behind it all. The damn morning that makes me repeat the day I barely managed to finish. I appreciate your noble act, but this changes nothing!"

After listening to my long speech, the first thing Azzy said was:

"Idiot?"

"...?"

What had I just heard? As I remained still with my mouth hanging open, Azzy looked at the ceiling and spoke.

"Can't see sun. It's dark here. Morning hasn't come!"

"No. It's still morning even if the sun hasn't risen."

"Woof! Can't see it, not morning!"

No morning because the sun was not visible. Should I call that a positivist expression, or just dog nonsense?

"Sleepy, sleep! I like sleeping!"

"Yeah. I want to sleep forever too. But work piles up, so what can I do?"

"Woof? Work?"

"Cooking and cleaning, things like that. If I don't get up in the morning, there won't be anyone to prepare your breakfast."

Azzy's ears perked up. Then she jumped onto the bed, bit my clothes, and pulled. My body was helplessly dragged out of bed.

"No! Get up! Food! Fooood!"

"Alright! I'll prepare it, so let go! Wait!"

Leaving Azzy to run around noisily, I got ready. I casually swept the broken alarm clock into a corner with my foot, then wiped my face with a wet towel.

"Hah. How am I supposed to wake up from tomorrow on now that the alarm clock is broken?"

There was only one reason I had never smashed the alarm clock despite suffering so much. Without it, I could not wake up at all.

This was the Abyss, without sunlight or roosters. A place isolated from the world, where time had no meaning. Since morning never came to greet us, there was no way to tell the passing of time here. And the alarm clock I had at least relied on had been smashed by some dog.

"Isn't there anything like an alarm...?"

I was about to lightly smack Azzy on the forehead, but gave up and sighed.

Sigh. She had done it because she was thinking of me, after all. Honestly, it had felt pretty satisfying when she smashed the alarm clock.

The hand that had been about to smack her changed direction and scratched beneath her chin. Azzy smiled brightly and leaned her weight against my hand.

So innocent... Her face did not hold a single worry. That was probably only possible because she was a beast that knew nothing.

That was the advantage of pets, I supposed.

I reverse-summoned the clothing packet I was wearing and took out a new one. A reverse-summoned packet could be used again after being washed in a laundry room, or soaked in water and wiped clean. The former made it as clean as new clothes, but required special equipment. The latter took time to dry, but could be done anywhere.

After changing into clean clothes, I removed my hand from beneath Azzy's chin. As if it had glue on it, Azzy's face followed my hand for a moment before stopping.

Azzy opened her eyes wide, asking with her gaze why I had stopped. She lifted her chin toward my hand as if telling me to continue. It seemed she thought of me as some sort of machine that petted her, threw balls, or made food.

Good grief. Why was I playing the role of a dog's maid?

Still, what could I do? She was my dog. I had to feed her.

"Woof?"

"Let's go. Time to eat."

"Woof!"

If there was a best dog in the world, it would be Azzy when she was going to eat. I headed to the dining room with a dog that only became well-behaved three times a day.

I would heat up the bean stew I made yesterday for breakfast, then make something else for her in the afternoon. Maybe I should cook meat for the first time in a while. Last time, I grilled meat to win her favor, but meat was actually more satisfying when eaten in ways other than grilling...

Huh?

Why was the pot empty? There had definitely been leftovers from yesterday.

I turned my head. Shamelessly, Azzy was just looking straight at me with eyes that claimed she knew nothing.

I take that back. Azzy had never once been the best dog in the world. This mindlessly strong mutt was a catastrophe that should never be let loose in the world.

"Hey! You secretly ate the stew I made yesterday, didn't you?"

"Woof woof?! Woof!"

"Don't play innocent! There's nobody else who could've eaten it!"

"Woof!"

"Your breakfast is confiscated today!"

"Awooooooooo!"

The hungry dog's cry rang out for a long time.

"Today's lesson is about how to handle beasts that don't know gratitude!"

"Woof!"

Azzy, who was lying at the back of the classroom, barked loudly in defiance at my words. When I glared at her fiercely, she snorted and turned her head away.

Hmph. Like that would make me bat an eye.

"Beasts do not understand gratitude or possess intelligence, so there is no need to do anything for them in the first place. It's a waste! Tell them to live on their own!"

"Woof! Woof! Grrrr!"

The regressor, who had been watching the standoff between Azzy and me with bored eyes, asked out of obligation.

"What happened?"

'It's probably another trivial matter. I'm not curious, but should I at least pretend to ask?'

The thought I heard was incredibly rude, but I could not bear to keep my sorrow bottled up any longer. I pounded my chest and said,

"That mutt ate all the food left over from the day before!"

"Woof! Grrr, woof!"

Azzy barked in protest. Though she wore a human shell, what came out was the howl of a beast. This was truly dog nonsense.

Ugh, seriously. If only she did not think like a dog, I could read every part of her thoughts and confront her with irrefutable evidence. At times like this, it was a shame I could not properly read that brat's thoughts.

Yet the regressor did not seem to understand the gravity of the issue.

"So what if a dog eats some food?"

"Some food? You call that some?"

I held my forehead and let out a deep sigh.

"You don't seem to understand, Trainee Shei. The reason humans and dogs could coexist was because we could feed them leftovers. On top of that, dogs did not require much food. But!"

Pointing at the food-devouring monster, I raised my voice.

"That thing eats the exact same food I do, and eats twice as much! It even eats at the same table as me!"

"Just feed her. You're being petty over nothing."

"Petty? Peeetty?"

You could say that because you monopolized every lucky opportunity and had so much property and so damn many items! Could you say that to someone like me, who lived from one day to the next?

And you had more business with Azzy anyway! You said Azzy was a fragment of the end! Then you, the regressor, should take responsibility and manage her! Since you possess the great power of regression, you should bear great responsibility too!

I almost said that. But since I could not reveal that I read thoughts, all that came out of my mouth was a complaint.

"Then you feed her!"

"Ah, sorry. That's impossible."

'I tried giving her food from the Manhan Quanxi... but she would not eat it. There are many different dishes, but each portion is small, so it would not be enough for Azzy anyway.'

What surfaced in the regressor's memories was the Manhan Quanxi. Every meal, it provided a table piled so high with food that its legs might break.

Countless dishes held food that would disappear in one bite with chopsticks. It was designed for one meal, so that a person with a limited stomach could taste as many different foods as possible. The height of extravagance, turning even hunger into a resource.

Still, it was the Manhan Quanxi, so it was full of spicy and salty food. If expensive spices were dumped in that carelessly, of course Azzy could not eat it. It was too precious for a dog to eat, so apparently it was not dog food after all.

I held my forehead and sighed.

"Anyway. I didn't like the fact that she eats at the same table as me in the first place. I'm washing my hands of this. I won't even acknowledge Azzy anymore. Class is over."

[Wait. It's over?]

"Yes. I called you all here today because I wanted you to listen to my grievances. Now, class is canceled today. This is not an opportunity that comes every day, so enjoy this precious moment."

The thing students loved most was a canceled class. The surprising part was that teachers, the suppliers, loved canceled classes too. Perhaps canceled classes were the only absolute good in this world.

Having exercised that absolute good, I headed straight for the door.

Footnotes:

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