WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 18: Magic Is No Joke

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With that shout, the regressor reached out her hand. At that moment, her arm seemed to be severed at the elbow.

No, it had not been severed. Looking closer, she had torn open space and thrust her hand into the rift. Her arm was visible above the elbow, but everything below it had vanished somewhere, as though she had stuck her arm out a window.

The difference was that there was nothing there but empty air.

A personal subspace item, a Pocket. The regressor possessed a treasure unique in all the world.

She stirred the crack in space once and pulled out something round and solid.

"Fine! Let's see how well you can teach!"

With a ting, the object flew toward me. I instinctively reached out to catch it, but its weight threw my hand sharply backward. The impact was enough to drag my whole body along.

I might have slightly strained a ligament. Barely managing to catch it, I glared at the regressor and looked at the object in my hand.

Then I doubted my eyes.

"Good heavens. It's an alchemical coin. A high-purity alchemical coin with an alchemical value of over ten thousand alche. How did you get this?"

There had been an age when alchemists freely transformed matter. The value of not only currency but goods themselves changed wildly, until people could no longer trust even their own wealth. Gold itself could not retain its value, and people lived in fear that the fortune in their vaults might turn into a heap of scrap metal at any moment.

Then alchemical coins appeared like a comet.

Currency minted from the very resources needed for alchemy, currency with absolute value.

The regressor handed one over as though giving alms and replied with an indifferent expression.

"It's personal property."

"Wouldn't all personal property have been seized the moment you were arrested?"

"It was inside my personal subspace item, the Pocket. They didn't notice it."

The regressor dismissed the matter with a few words.

A Pocket. Fitting for a regressor who collected every kind of treasure. Even her bag was an incomparable treasure.

I pressed my nose to the alchemical coin and sniffed it.

"It isn't fake, right...?"

"You think I'd carry fake gold coins when I have a Pocket?"

That was true. A Pocket was a priceless treasure that could not be bought even with a hundred alchemical coins. It was not as though I truly doubted her. It was just part of the exclamation.

Alchemical coins were the hardest currency to counterfeit in the first place, since they possessed value on their own.

After alchemy became widespread, every nation on the surface tried every possible method to prevent counterfeit currency made through alchemy.

Naturally, the easiest method was to make the currency itself valuable. Alchemical coins were the prime example. The materials that composed an alchemical coin were themselves immensely valuable alchemical ingredients.

Alchemical coins were accepted everywhere in the world and could be used as materials for magic circles. With knowledge of alchemy, one could dismantle these coins to create magical tools.

The ultimate currency, convertible into both cash and goods: alchemical coins.

With an alchemical value of ten thousand alche... I might even be able to remake the magic-trick props the military state had taken from me!

"So, what's your answer?"

I put the gold coin in my pocket. The moment I did, I forgot all about it.

Once a gold coin entered your pocket, all previous favors and grudges vanished. That was the law of the back alleys. There was a reason people talked about washing their hands in a golden basin.

"Ahem! Did you think a proud military state instructor would be swayed by a bribe? You are mistaken! Under the Improper Solicitation Act, I shall confiscate this money!"

The regressor gave an incredulous laugh, then pulled two more gold coins from empty air and shook them.

"If you teach Tyrkanzyaka properly, I'll give you two more gold coins."

"Separately from that, I've wanted to teach you about magic since the moment I woke up this morning. It somehow felt like a magical day. Today, we shall learn about magic."

That was far too much money to refuse. I immediately stood before the lectern, fully prepared to begin class.

Meanwhile, the regressor kept trying to convince the vampire of something.

"...Tyrkanzyaka, I'm telling you, it wasn't that I couldn't attend. I chose not to attend. Look at that. One gold coin is enough to make someone who graduated secondary school move exactly as you want..."

I did not care what she said. As long as gold coins entered my pocket, that was enough. Setting my pride aside and putting on a shameless face, I began the lesson.

"Magic is, fundamentally, the act of imposing rules upon the world... Just saying that won't make you understand, will it?"

The vampire only wanted to satisfy her curiosity. She did not want to take the dull path of learning from the basics. Forget theory. I would explain it as simply as possible.

"The most important thing is building your own world. Easy to say, but it isn't something you can do just because someone tells you to. That is why secondary schools, which ordinary people attend, teach magic that uses the body as a medium. The body can be considered a kind of world, one where the inside and outside are completely separate."

I raised a finger and drew up mana. I could feel it moving through my veins. Brushing my left arm with my right hand, I tapped my palm as though playing a string instrument.

"A demonstration from a skilled instructor. Now, watch. Set, Li, check."

A product of the military state's rationalism, allowing people who understood nothing to manifest magic as long as they used the proper movements, chants, and mana arrangement.

Level 0 magic.

"Bolt."

Electricity flashed from my index finger. I made sparks in the air, then rubbed my finger against my arm to discharge them.

"Fahrenheit."

Flames rose from my middle finger. They had no shape and spread in every direction, so I had to wave my finger to put them out.

"Aquus."

My ring finger froze. It was magic that gathered moisture, but the drawback was that your finger could freeze if you were not careful. I covered it with my other hand to thaw it.

"Pascal."

Air burst from my little finger with a pop.

Hah. My skill as the top student in all of secondary school, thanks to mind-reading, had not gone anywhere. I spread both arms and proudly declared.

"Like this. Magic that uses the body as a medium and fires through the fingers. Its advantage is that you can use it without constructing a mental image!"

[Um, your fingers are bleeding.]

The vampire pointed at my fingers. I looked at the fingers that had produced the magic.

My index finger, which had used electricity, was twitching.

My middle finger, which had fired flames, was blackened.

My ring finger, where ice had formed, was swollen stiff.

My little finger, which had created wind, was red and shriveled.

Ah, damn. Now that I thought about it, it hurt. I could not begin to describe the pain of four different injuries at once.

Still, if I showed that I was hurting, I would lose face. Putting on airs, I spoke without changing my expression.

"I told you, didn't I? Magic is the act of imposing rules upon the world."

[Yes.]

"I imposed rules through my body. A rule that static electricity forms more strongly on my index finger, a rule that flames burn at a much lower temperature on my middle finger, a rule that water clings easily to my ring finger, and a rule that wind moves more fiercely than usual on my little finger."

Basic magic that caused phenomena within only a limited range. That was Level 0 magic.

I spread my fingers and showed her the traces.

"This is the result."

The vampire showed great curiosity.

[It certainly is fascinating. But must your fingers always be injured?]

"It can't be helped when using the body as a medium. Where rules change, collisions are bound to occur, and unfortunately, my body was that boundary. I have no choice but to pay the price as well."

I hid my aching fingers behind my back and continued explaining.

"Magic that uses the body as a medium is incomplete for that reason. So ordinary people seek mediums other than their bodies. Some use objects like staffs or wands, while others use familiars. They say that once you reach a certain realm, you can shape the world itself, but I haven't seen that far yet. The greater your skill, the broader the range you can affect and the more mysterious, powerful phenomena you can create."

That was when I finished explaining.

"That is exactly a secondary school-level education."

I was gradually getting used to the regressor cutting in by now. I shrugged and answered.

"Of course it is. It is a secondary school-level education."

"Right. It isn't useful or practical. It's even weak."

"It's basic knowledge. If we compare it to mathematics, it's at the multiplication-table level."

"Yes. You built a solid foundation. Your speed and precision are surprising for Level 0 magic. But in my opinion, someone who can only use body-medium magic doesn't seem capable of showing anything beyond that."

The sneer she let out while puffing herself up openly displayed childish superiority.

No way. Was a regressor actually feeling competitive toward me right now? How absurd. You are a professional who has repeated the same life thirteen times. I am an amateur on the stage of my own life. If you want to compete with me, come back in your first life and make it fair.

"Magic isn't my specialty."

"Hmph. Magic isn't my specialty either, but I can use magic up to the tactical-grade."

"Ah. Is that so?"

"You stop at phenomenon-grade magic. Hehe. Is this the difference in talent?"

Honestly, wasn't she embarrassed? She learned magic by force after dying over and over, yet she spoke as though it were all her own talent.

Did she have a conscience or not?

"If you achieved that entirely on your own, then it would be a difference in talent."

I looked at the regressor coldly and made a barbed remark. She flinched, then made excuses in her heart.

'...I learned it at the cost of my life through regression. But regression is an ability too. Nothing bad will happen if I boast a little, right? That's right! Regression is an ability, a stat!'

At least she still had enough conscience to make excuses for herself. People with no conscience did not even make excuses. In that sense, the regressor still seemed capable of shame.

That was as far as she took it before turning toward the vampire.

"Tyrkanzyaka. I'll teach you magic. I'm better at magic than that guy."

The vampire responded cautiously, as though it pained her terribly to ask such a question but she had no choice.

[Did you not say that you only attended elementary school?]

"I told you, I didn't attend because I didn't need to!"

[Ah, yes. Of course. It is all right, child. I do not mind much.]

The vampire meant it as consideration. Her consideration was simply so deep that its recipient noticed it too. The regressor's hands trembled.

'Now... I am beginning to deeply understand why that man keeps treating the vampire like an old woman...!'

I told you. She was an old person, in both good and bad ways. The vampire glanced at me and dragged out her words.

[Must you go? If you show us here...]

"Magic is both my trump card and the world I built from the ground up. It is my strength, but also my weakness. I can't casually show it to others."

[Did he not show his?]

"Don't compare mine to that junk! That's military state standard magic. It's common magic that anyone can use if they meet certain conditions! My magic is unique magic that only I can use in this world!"

[Ah, um. I understand. I understand. Let us go.]

The regressor stomped out of the room, and the pitch-black coffin floated after her. Even so, the vampire kept looking back at me with lingering regret.

'Magic anyone can use... isn't that more impressive? Hmm. I do not know. There are so many things I do not know.'

She had not grown old for nothing. How wise.

'Even so, I am already dead... I could not use even that magic.'

...Well, I hoped the two of them worked hard. The regressor might be excited to teach magic, but she was free to be disappointed too. I was glad my workload had decreased...

Huh? Wait. I had forgotten something.

Ah, right. My money! My two alchemical coins!

I hurried after them and shouted.

"Trainee Shei! You need to give me my money before you go!"

Only an annoyed reply came back.

"Tyrkanzyaka is learning from me, so why should I give you money?"

"You said you would give me two alchemical coins! Are you going to break your promise?"

"A promise?"

The regressor spun around, then smirked at me.

"I'll give you one piece of advice. No matter who promised you something, and no matter how much you were supposed to receive... it isn't your money until it enters your pocket."

"What nonsense! There's no such thing! If you said you would give it, then you should give it!"

"Be satisfied with the advance payment. It is a great deal of money too... for you, anyway."

Leaving behind a small smile, the regressor walked away with light steps.

If I had to express the thought I was reading in the simplest words, it would be something like, "Nyah nyah."

Fuming, I returned to the classroom.

"How dare she deceive me!"

I might have scammed others, but I had never been scammed myself. She had even intended to give me the money until halfway through my lecture! Then she changed her mind after listening to me!

The people I hated most were fickle ones like that. People who did not make plans and rolled dice in their heads every moment. Their thoughts differed from one second to the next, so how was I supposed to know? Even the waves of a stormy night sea would be easier to read than that.

"Damn it. To think I would be on the receiving end of those words!"

For some reason, I was twice as angry. Just as I slammed the classroom door shut.

"Woof."

I heard a dissatisfied bark. Turning my head, I saw Azzy lying on her belly at the back, still wagging her tail with a sulky expression.

She was getting bored and wanted some attention. Even without reading her mind, a dog's feelings were obvious.

I was irritated, so I waved a hand at her.

"What? What do you want me to do?"

"Woof."

"Class is over for today. You should go back to your room too."

"Woof."

"Why? You're the only one in a bad mood? I'm in a bad mood too. My fingers hurt, so I don't feel like playing with you. Deal with it yourself..."

As I answered bluntly, Azzy rose from her spot and slowly approached me. She still made it obvious that something displeased her, yet she came over anyway.

What a spineless beast. She had done nothing wrong, but she wanted to make up. She thought I would accept her.

"Don't you see my fingers? I told you they're hurt."

I showed her the four fingers dyed different colors and snapped at her. Azzy stared silently at them with slightly sulky eyes, then leaned in and began licking my fingers.

"What? Are you licking them because they're hurt?"

Azzy did not answer and kept licking. Her slick tongue ran over my fingers. The warm, soft sensation massaged them. I was about to frown deeply, but seeing the affectionate gesture, my expression softened.

"You..."

Beasts licked themselves when they were wounded. To prevent infection, because the wound itched, or because it was the only thing they could do.

Yet when a beast reached the level of the Beast King, a conceptual being, the act of licking itself possessed concrete healing power. It was not effective on every wound, but people said it worked better than applying a potion.

"You're healing me."

"Woof."

Azzy answered softly and carefully licked my remaining fingers. Perhaps because she looked human even if her essence was a dog, her small, plump tongue reached into every corner.

People often compared anger to fire. It seemed they had not done so without reason. As my fingers became wet, both the pain and my anger subsided.

Sigh. Fine. What was the point of getting angry?

"Yeah. Dogs are better than people."

I pulled my hand away. Thick saliva stretched in a long strand. My fingers, glistening with spit, had already completely recovered their original appearance.

Humanity's greatest enemy was humanity, while dogs had always been our allies. I could not help but laugh.

"Exactly! So what if you secretly ate some food at night? You can eat when you're hungry. Food is made to be eaten! Isn't that right?"

"Woof."

"Good. I'm in a good mood now! Let's open some canned meat today!"

"Meat?"

Azzy's eyes sparkled. As if it were a lie that she had been sulking until moments ago, she excitedly rose to her feet.

"Yes! Meat for lunch today!"

"Woof! I like meat!"

"Let's go to the cafeteria!"

"Awooooo!"

I followed Azzy as she excitedly ran ahead.

Let us forget about the money I lost. If I efficiently dismantled one alchemical coin, I could make a whole deck of cards. If I was lucky, I might even be able to enchant one card.

Besides, the regressor would fail anyway. I would collect it with interest then.

Heading to the cafeteria, I cheerfully opened a can of meat and cooked it with every bit of skill I had.

Then.

"You mangy mutt! Stop picking out only the meat!"

"Yelp?! Awooooo!"

I decided. Dog food would be beans from now on.

Footnotes:

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