WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 462: The Actor Is Not the Role

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Hilde was not playing any role right now. Acting was meant to deceive someone, but I, watching from outside the stage, could not be deceived by her. Who would sit in the audience and take an actor's words onstage at face value?

Still, the person onstage was not always nothing but a role.

"You're acting even now, aren't you?"

"Acting~? ‘I’ am not acting at all."

"What do you mean, you're not? You call me Father. How could that be sincere? It could never be true, even if I died and came back to life."

Hilde had already been wandering the world when I was born. If parents and children meant what I thought they did, it was causally impossible.

Hilde spoke as though protesting.

"This face, this name, this identity! Father gave me all of them! You gave birth to the true ‘me,’ so of course you're Father!"

"You meant you're calling me the father of your role? The concept is a little over the top, but fine. Still, it shows."

She knew it herself, so she would not deny it. Whenever Hilde acted, her "I" carried weight. Not in her words, but in her heart.

Stung by the remark, Hilde narrowed her eyes.

"Hee~. Acting really doesn't work on Father, does it? Ah, I failed~."

"Failed at what?"

"‘I.’ This time, I was trying to become the kind of girl Father would like~. Since Father helped me, I thought I'd ask a favor while I was at it, so I tried to act in a way that suited Father~."

Hilde let out a long sigh, shook her head, and continued.

"Maybe it was because I didn't have a clear model. It was much harder than acting as someone else~."

"What were you planning to do once I liked you?"

"Filial devotion! Isn't it natural for a child to want Father to think well of her? And... I need to bring Father to the military state."

"The King of the military state you mentioned before?"

"Yes~. The King of the military state Father casually created and abandoned."

Casually created? I had not made anything. She had awakened on her own and taken it on herself. Hilde saw my expression and shrugged.

"Fine. Father let AB see everything and make her own decisions. Yuel, the administrator, resisted Father, but ‘I,’ the one doing the actual work, agree with Father's opinion. Still... AB cannot manage it alone."

"Captain AB isn't alone. She has hundreds of communications officers."

"It would be the same with thousands. A few hundred untainted girls raised after the model of a convent cannot run a country. The Sanctum does not feed off the Empire for no reason. Even with the power to handle fate, it cannot rule people without getting its hands dirty."

A convent, huh. Even so, she seemed to be underestimating the communications officers. Unlike nuns, they had even copied some of the Farsighted Holy Maiden's power. Then again, Holy Maidens did not seem much better at governing than nuns.

"Anyway, you achieved your goal too."

"That only happened because Tyrkanzyaka went berserk and things somehow turned out that way. I still failed at making Father like me."

"You already achieved that goal."

"Huh?"

"If your goal was to flatter me, you succeeded. I like you, Hilde. Not only because you helped me escape."

That accounted for quite a lot of it, but it was not the only reason.

It was only natural. How could I dislike someone openly wagging her tail and clinging to me because she wanted me to think well of her? Flattery was always mutual. You fell for it even while knowing exactly what it was. The effort to please me was what pleased me in the first place.

Hilde tilted her head in surprise.

"Even though you knew it was an act?"

"Why would that matter? Everyone wears several masks as they live. They look at who stands before them, then switch masks. I act completely differently with Azzy than I do with Tyr."

"The moment you know it's a mask, you feel disappointed. Like Tyrkanzyaka did with Father."

"Well. Maybe it would. I knew you didn't sincerely respect me so much as expect me to be useful as the King of Humanity, so I'd keep that in mind too. But... so what?"

Other than a sage who had meditated endlessly, I, a mind-reader, was the only person who knew what one's true self really was. And a sage and I would probably reach the same conclusion.

There was no point in making the distinction.

"Would anything change if we knew what our true selves and true feelings were? We're only human. Within limited time and limited choices, we make decisions and act as circumstances demand. Whether the attitude we took came from the heart or was an act tailored to the other person, would that make it insincere? Hilde, you acted sincerely."

After so much acting, Hilde's sense of self had grown faint, and she had been looking for something to anchor her existence. Yet she valued acting more than anyone. Even after everything, Hilde had not let it go.

"You said your previous life was all roles, Hilde... but isn't a filmography important to an actor? God did not save you, but you still use holy power. Yuel called you over and worked you to the bone, but you still feel attached to the military state. Acting or not, you kept all of it safely in your heart, didn't you?"

If she hated acting, she would not keep her old roles carefully stored in her inner world and take them out whenever she needed them. Hilde truly loved acting. She loved it so sincerely that she had even lost herself in it.

Well then. She could live as the incarnation of acting. I thought that was fine too.

"So Father is fine with it being an act?"

"I'm an audience member outside the stage. No matter what role you play, Hilde, no matter how realistic it feels, I won't forget that it's acting. I'll prepare myself to watch and be moved."

"An audience member..."

What Hilde had sought was neither her true self nor a life without acting. What Hilde, an actor by nature, wanted was an audience. Someone who would watch her acting and judge it.

First, it had been the omnipotent Celestial God. Then, the Holy Maiden who saw the future. Hilde had acted with all her heart for them... but the Celestial God was a stage prop, and the Holy Maiden was a designer trying to build that stage. Neither could become Hilde's audience.

Next, she found me, the King of Humanity. Fortunately, I could give Hilde what she truly wanted.

"Hee. I see. That's something only Father could say~."

Hilde stretched, then closed her eyes for a moment. In her inner world, she stood backstage and selected a role. What costume to wear, how to speak and act. She played the role to suit her scene partner.

But I sat in the audience. I was an audience member who knew her entire filmography. I could not be fooled. Though perhaps I wanted to be.

‘...You're right. Our first meeting happened so suddenly that I approached you without stepping out of the ‘me’ I was back then. What a mistake... If I wanted to act as someone new, I should have emptied out the old role first.’

It could not be helped. Back then, the regressor, Tyr, and Ria had all been traveling with me. To stay by my side, Hilde needed the identity of one of the military state's Six Generals. Hilde joined me while acting as the "Shadow Casket" so she could cross onto the stage where I stood.

But there was nothing beside me now. No military state, no regressor, no Tyr. The previous stage had already lowered its curtain.

‘“I” am...’

Hilde quietly repeated it to herself, then opened her eyes again. Her appearance had not changed, but I could tell that she had switched roles.

"Phew... Even a vampire who has lived a thousand years would never dream there was a tunnel like this underground. Though vampires who never sleep cannot dream... Anyway, we should be safe here for a while."

By chance, they had found a hiding place amid dangers closing in by the moment. They could not stay here forever, but at least they would be safe for the next few days. In a paradise they were destined to leave someday, Hilde deliberately looked away from despair.

"It's getting late, so let's stay here until we think of a better plan, Father."

The military state had vanished from Hilde's thoughts. Her holy power had vanished as well. The role Hilde wore now was that of a father and daughter fleeing from vampires while holding onto a sliver of hope.

I wondered what she was doing, but I had agreed to play along with this sort of thing. It did not matter as long as we escaped the Duchy. I readily nodded.

"Let's do that. It's getting dark, so let's get some sleep and prepare tomorrow."

"Okay! Then..."

As if she had been waiting for it, Hilde quietly slipped into my blanket. The movement was not fast, but it was so natural that I did not even question it at first. Only afterward did I lift the blanket. Hilde, pressed tightly against me and wriggling around, poked her head out.

"W-what are you doing? Why did you suddenly come in here?"

Hilde tilted her head as though it were obvious.

"Huh...? It's cold at night, so I thought we could share body heat..."

"What body heat? You can change it however you want if you need to!"

Anyone who learned the Water Qi Art could control their body as they wished. It varied by level, but immunity to heat and cold, immunity to all poisons, those things all originated from the Water Qi Art. Could Hilde, who could change her own face and body, really fail to change something as simple as her body temperature?

But...

‘Father really is strange. We used to sleep together when I was little, and it never bothered him... Did I grow too much, so now I make him uncomfortable? Maintaining body heat is important on a difficult journey.’

To "Hilde," it was truth and sincerity. She was acting right now.

This insane method actor. She had even rewritten her own beliefs! Hilde had immersed herself in the role so deeply that even I had not questioned her crawling in until she was already there. Because Hilde herself had not questioned it!

Amazing. Truly amazing. Yet as warmth spread through the blanket, I changed my mind.

Hilde might not need it, but I did. I had acquired the Demon God, so I could use something similar to the Water Qi Art too... but using Hilde as a heater was easier than concentrating.

"Does Father... dislike sleeping with ‘me’?"

I shook my head.

"Not really. You just smell a little."

"Idiot! Of course I smell! We've been walking for days without resting! I was going to wash tomorrow!"

Sulking, Hilde puffed out her cheeks and sharply turned her head away. Even so, she remained pressed against me. Her body was honest.

‘Father's body really is big... “I” have grown quite a bit too, but I'm still so much smaller than Father. If only I could keep... staying in Father's arms like this.’

A daughter with a father complex, what an absurd character setup. What had gotten into her for her to start playing such a deranged role?

‘W-what am I thinking?! He isn't my real father, but...! He raised “me”! Escaping safely comes first!’

What an unnecessarily convoluted setup!

Footnotes:

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