WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 477: King of the Unemployed

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Saint Enger Plain. A blessed land that had fed the continent throughout its grand history. It was so vast that the Empire and two vassal states stretched across it, a gift of the earth that had served as both the object and stage of countless struggles.

Even the Enger Plain, which seemed as though it might stretch to the end of the world, eventually came to an end. If you kept heading south without a destination, the land gradually dried up, and parched winds carrying the scent of dust began to blow. The sun climbed ever higher, watching over all creation, while hot air rose to your chin and left you short of breath.

Ende stood at that border.

It was said that an endless sea of trees lay farther south, but for anyone who was not an adventurer, Ende was the last land. That was especially true now, with the Golden Kingdom and the Kingdom having fallen and exchanges temporarily cut off.

"This is Ende."

The regressor pointed at the city sprawling wide across the horizon.

The barrier, closer to a fence than a city wall, had been built not to keep out humans, but beasts. Yet inside the city was little different from the wilderness.

The haphazardly built houses varied wildly in height, resembling uneven teeth, and every wall and rooftop was crammed with belongings of every kind. Roads split without warning or ended abruptly wherever they pleased. It felt as though nothing but possibility had been planned when the city was built.

The people passing by were as varied as the buildings. You would normally distinguish people by the color and length of their hair, height, or build, but in Ende, you had to add ears and tails to that list. Round, pointed, long, folded, upright, fluffy, and so on. Descriptions that would not apply to ordinary humans became traits that filled the eyes and muddled the mind when dealing with beastkin.

That was not all. It was an everyday sight to see beastkin, fed up with the crowded streets, leaping across rooftops. There were too many accidents caused by tails moving as they pleased to count. Everywhere, people trying to find their way by scent instead of sight bumped into others.

Ende was a city so chaotic that no one would find it strange if anybody blended into the crowd.

The regressor led Azzy and me to a large mansion on Ende's outskirts.

"I bought a mansion. I thought you'd need a base."

She opened the gate as casually as if she had simply returned from the market. The mansion itself was quite expensive, but the things the regressor brought out were worth even more.

Elixirs, magical tools, alchemical coins. Every one of them was a treasure that would fetch its true value only at auction. She willingly handed over enough resources to cause inflation in a city as large as Ende.

"Here. I'll leave the mansion's management to you. I'll provide as much funding and supplies as you need. If you want, I can introduce you to some people I know."

What the regressor wanted from me in return for investing so much was surprisingly simple.

"Defeat the King of Wolves."

"...You're really going all in. There's no guarantee I can do it."

"It has to be done even if you don't do it. I just want to see what the King of Humanity and the King of Dogs will do. I'll help you too, but I'll leave the means and methods entirely up to you."

No matter how many resources she invested, it was unclear whether I, still only half of myself, could stop the King of Wolves. Honestly, I wasn't confident. If possible, I wanted to put it off until I had fully regained my strength.

But the regressor dangled an offer I couldn't refuse.

"Then I'll show you every Demon God I know."

"Really?"

"Really."

'At least I need to see what this attempt leads to. If Hughes properly defeats the King of Wolves as the King of Humanity, one great disaster will be gone. I can add it to the routine for future regressions.'

Because she could just regress if things went wrong? Tch. I was jealous of a regressor who never had to worry about failure.

'I don't mind showing him the Demon Gods. If I show him all of them and he falls into becoming the King of Sin, then next time, I can lie and say I'll show them to him without actually doing it.'

You think I'd fall for that? I can see your thoughts as clear as day!

"All right. Take your time preparing. I have things to do in Ende too."

"What things?"

"Investment and business."

'Let's see. Before long, a cult will rise alongside the Rider of Plague, and a vassal state will close its borders under the pretext of quarantine, causing friction with the Empire. I can't stop it, but I can reduce the fallout. The Purple Merchant Guild should be staying in Ende to open up trade routes. I should tell them about preventive measures and a specific remedy, then have them secure supplies.'

Good grief, she was busy. I suppose not just anyone could be a regressor. She really had been saving the world.

'Last time, I forgot and couldn't stop the massacre carried out under the excuse of quarantine. I mustn't forget this time.'

I take it back, you bastard. Take care of something that important when it matters!

The regressor tossed me a ring of keys. It landed in my hand, heavy with the expectations placed on me.

"I'm trusting you with this. Do whatever you want, King of Humanity. And King of Dogs."

"Phew, those expectations are a little heavy... but I'll do this properly, if only for our promise."

"Woof."

Azzy and I nodded with determined expressions.

Then a month passed.

The regressor's furious shout echoed through the mansion.

"Go out already!!!"

Before leaving the mansion to handle her business, the regressor had been perfectly relaxed when she saw me recovering from the fatigue of travel.

'Right. It is about time he rested. Even if he runs off with the money while I'm gone, that will be the end of it.'

Perhaps it was the ease of someone with wealth. The regressor left the mansion in my care and went off to work, even while secretly testing me.

But she did not know.

A full beast did not hunt.

About two weeks ago, the regressor returned after finishing one task and tilted her head when she saw Azzy and me sprawled out on the wooden floor.

'...? Is he still resting? No, he must be taking a break after working.'

She stayed briefly, then left to do something else. Only after returning around three times and seeing the same sight did the regressor finally realize what Azzy and I had been doing.

"You're not doing anything!"

The mansion had barely changed. Only the money in the safe had gone down a little. Azzy and I used that money to eat well and sleep deeply. We had recovered from our travel fatigue so thoroughly that we had grown pleasantly plump.

"What are you two?!"

"Me? I'm the King of Humanity."

"Woof, me, puppy!"

"That's not what I asked, you parasites! You said you were going to fight the King of Wolves, so what the hell have you been doing?!"

Still lying sprawled across the floor, I answered with nothing but a resolute expression.

"Stockpiling supplies for the fight."

"Woof."

"Stockpiling what?!"

The regressor came over and flipped the wooden floor Azzy and I had been lying on. The dog and human, softened by a month of peace, flailed helplessly at the sudden attack. Looking down at the two kings crawling miserably on the ground, the regressor shouted.

"I could understand if you'd at least trained. You just stockpiled fat! What are you going to do?! Are you planning to give the King of Wolves a tastier delicacy?!"

"No, I wasn't ready to catch the King of Wolves."

"Isn't that why I bought you a mansion and gave you money?! You said you wanted to find Demon Gods! Don't you need help?"

Honestly, I had been taking it easy, thinking I could read the regressor's thoughts without bothering to accept her help. Part of me had even planned to pretend I was working and drag things out until she returned.

Without any intention of getting up, I wriggled around and replied.

"But resting was so comfortable... I ended up resting reeeeeally well without even realizing it."

"That's something an unemployed bum would say! And you call yourself the King of Humanity?!"

"Even unemployed people are human... so the King of Humanity is the king of unemployed people..."

"Try being the king of diligent people for once!"

'I thought he might run away, but I never imagined he would do absolutely nothing! Does this guy not understand how serious this is? Every minute and second matters right now!'

Mm. But think about it. You said the King of Sin would appear and destroy the world, right? Then as long as I'm alive, the King of Sin won't appear. Wouldn't it be enough to live a long, comfortable life with a full stomach and a warm bed?

"You weren't like this in the military state! How did you end up this way?!"

"Well, when I was in the military state, I had to live a little fiercely to avoid the military state's attempts to exploit me."

I looked at the safe sitting in one corner of the floor. The safe the regressor left with me was full of alchemical coins, so no matter how much I spent, it barely showed. It was a bottomless well. Naturally, I wanted to use it.

"Once I had money in Ende, the free city of the wild, there was nothing I couldn't do. I went around learning about the situation in Ende and made some wonderful connections. You could say I've grown a little lazy because they do so much for me."

The regressor calmed down a little and looked faintly expectant.

"So you did meet someone?"

"Yes. Ende has no strict rules, and its residents have strong personalities, so people with similar traits form clans and rely on each other. A large portion of Ende's residents are beastkin, especially. The clans are broadly divided according to what kind of beastkin they are. I made contact with them first to learn about the situation in Ende."

"Hmph. So you weren't completely idle."

"How could I really live without doing anything at all? Anyway, after going around spreading money here and there to get connections with the clans..."

That was when it happened. The sound of hurried hoofbeats stopped in front of the mansion. At the same time, Azzy's ears perked up. The visitor stood before the mansion and called out to me.

"Mr. Hughes! Are you there?!"

"Speak of the tiger. Just a moment."

She came at exactly the right time. I leisurely got up and walked toward the door. The regressor, who had been wearing an unhappy expression, seemed somewhat relieved that I had at least made some connections.

'An informant? Looks like he had them come to the mansion instead of going to them. Well, even so. He couldn't have spent all this time just eating and sleeping, could he?'

Mm, it would be a burden if I disappointed her after she expected too much.

When I opened the door, a freckle-faced horse beastkin girl waiting outside flashed a bright smile and called out cheerfully.

"Forward Delivery! Three servings of beef soup and boiled meat, correct?"

"With bones attached to the meat. Right?"

"Neigh! Of course! You've ordered it so many times, there's no way I'd get confused!"

Clink, clink, clink. The horse beastkin took the packaged food from an iron case and set it down in front of us. Azzy had already come right up to my feet, staring fixedly at the food as drool ran from her mouth.

Azzy had learned something over the past month too. When hoofbeats stopped at the door, food arrived. The instant the horse beastkin put down the meat, Azzy snatched it up like an arrow and began stripping it from the bones.

Thank goodness there were bones. Otherwise, she would have finished it in three seconds and started eyeing mine. This was why I had to order meat with bones.

"That comes to 40 alke! If you return the disposable alchemical containers, you'll get 1.5 alke back!"

"Here. I won't bother returning the containers. It's a trivial amount."

"As expected, you're generous!"

The horse beastkin slung the case back over her shoulder and gave me a thumbs-up.

"Then enjoy your meal! Forward Delivery, returning!"

The horse beastkin ran off like an arrow with her much lighter case. Clack, clack. The horseshoes attached to their shoes made a sound like hoofbeats. Horse beastkin had several times the leg strength of ordinary people, so without horseshoes, their shoes wore out in no time.

Delivery really was best handled by horse beastkin. I closed the door and carried the food back inside. The regressor, who had watched the entire thing from beginning to end, trembled as if she were about to explode.

"...Like this. I became friendly with clans that run all sorts of service businesses. I cooperated with them."

"Cooperated, my ass! You just found a way to be even lazier!"

She caught me.

Footnotes:

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