WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 50: Emergency

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『This is an emergency. Wake up immediately.』

It came like an ambush.

It had approached under cover of night so stealthily that I hadn't even heard its footsteps. It had no breath, body heat, or even life. By the time I noticed it, it was already beside me.

『This is an emergency. Wake up immedi... Three attempts have failed. Based on inductive logic, further repetition would likely be meaningless.』

Something came up beside my sleeping body and chattered away. Its faint voice matched its tiny size. Was it a fairy that snuck in while people slept?

This fairy didn't seem able to fly, though. It couldn't even climb onto a bed that only reached knee height, and instead kept hopping around below it, eyeing me.

Ignoring the faint presence, I tried to fall asleep again. Even if it were Santa Claus instead of the Tooth Fairy, he could not disturb my sleep. If it had business with me, I hoped it would get it over with quickly while I was asleep....

『In accordance with the emergency response manual, I will now activate the forced wake-up protocol.』

I heard a sharp intake of breath.

『WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!』

"Kyiaaaaaaaaaah!"

The deafening roar shook my ears, and I kicked off the blanket as I shot upright. Once I calmed my racing heart and looked down, I saw a faintly glowing crystal sphere looking back at me.

"A golem?"

『I am Captain AB of the military state's communications corps. Due to an urgent situation, I had no choice but to...』

"You dare wake me from my sleep? Today, I'll put an end to your outdated model. It's time for you to return to the scrapyard. Trainee Shei! A golem has escaped...!"

The golem drove a full-force kick into my shin.

The attack came from far below my eye level. Since I couldn't read the golem's thoughts, I could neither evade nor resist it.

Its body was made of steel, several times sturdier than mine. On top of that, a contest between a shin and another object was an honest battle decided solely by strength and hardness.

My eyes flew wide from the excruciating pain.

"Ghk, ngh."

I sat down on the bed with my mouth hanging open, clutching my shin. Tears welled up in my eyes. I glared at the golem through eyes full of rage, resentment, and pain. The golem looked back while using its creaking arms to straighten its twisted leg frame.

『There is no time. This is a warning. Respond immediately.』

"Ghk, respond to what? What on earth is going on that you had to wake someone up in the middle of the night?"

『An intruder. Someone is attempting to infiltrate.』

"What? An intruder?"

I considered the golem's words for a moment.

So someone was currently infiltrating Tantalus? And the golem had detected him and wanted me to stop him.

An intruder breaking into my residence. Normally, that would make anyone tense. Yet I didn't feel even the slightest hint of the tension I should have felt.

Clutching my aching leg, I lay back down on the bed.

"Are you sure you haven't mistaken him for someone in distress? Maybe he slipped and fell?"

Infiltrating Tantalus? That was no different from swimming through the sky or grilling fish underwater. The subject and predicate simply didn't belong together. Why would anyone infiltrate a place they couldn't escape once they entered, a place with nothing worth stealing?

"Well, it isn't the Resistance again, is it? If the Resistance has broken in again, then the military state is incompetent. Seriously."

There was one exception, of course. If he had a bomb.

With a bomb, people could drift through the sky and fish could cook underwater.

Bombs solved most things people thought impossible. So whenever something blocked your way, try using a bomb if you had one nearby.

『I cannot determine the intruder's intentions. He is unarmed. However, because his intentions are unknown, the situation is all the more urgent.』

"Unarmed? Hmm. The night light is on, so it must be night outside too. Ah, I see. Like that famous philosopher's anecdote, he must have been looking up at the stars and failed to watch his footing. Let's pray for his soul together."

『...One cannot infiltrate this place simply by falling. He clearly threw himself into the Abyss with the intent of entering this place.』

"No, I'm telling you, that makes no sense. Who would come here because they had business with us? Fine, I'll feed him when he gets here, so go pick him up."

At my unconcerned response, the golem fell silent and began studying me closely. I narrowed my eyes and questioned it in return.

A brief staring contest followed.

I won.

『...You are skilled at this kind of negotiation. Are you saying you will not move unless I provide the relevant information?』

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

『Permission granted. I will temporarily raise your information clearance by increasing your security level by one stage.』

"No, I mean, what are you..."

Why was it raising my security level without permission? What was it even talking about? I was only too lazy to get up.

『Tantalus is within the Abyss. It is land completely separated from the surface. This place cannot be reached through ordinary means.』

"Ordinary means?"

『Falling. Ordinary falls only leave one lost within the Abyss and cannot identify Tantalus's coordinates.』

"When did falling become a normal means of transportation? Historically, falling has been an easy, fast one-way ticket to heaven."

So common sense here was different from what I knew. As expected of the military state. A crazy country that even abused common sense.

Wait.

"But I was thrown into the Abyss while tied up normally... Ah, I get it. That was the part that wasn't normal?"

『...Since you understand, I will continue.』

The golem urgently cut me off and continued its report.

『Originally, Tantalus was a place no one could reach without the military state's permission. That is why, despite being a Level 5 facility, no special security measures were placed even at the prison entrance.』

"Sounds like the military state was at fault. Calling it an important facility while being that careless. Tsk tsk."

『...In any case.』

I heard something crack just now. I hoped the golem's circuits hadn't snapped.

『While monitoring the inside and outside of Tantalus, this office detected roughly seven minutes ago that the illusion encompassing the Abyss had been broken. This office immediately came to find you, the only personnel currently available. The intruder is heading straight here and is expected to arrive in roughly three minutes.』

"So. What do you want me to do?"

『If possible, eliminate him.』

"Why do you people keep trying to kill everyone? Do you get itchy if you go even one day without killing someone?"

Whenever anything happened involving either the immortal or the person falling in now, the military state told me to kill that person. I waved a hand in firm refusal.

"How could an upstanding citizen like me, who can't even catch a single dog, kill someone? Don't say such ridiculous things."

『Question. Then how did you handle the Resistance?』

"The blades stayed still, but they put their own necks against them. They tried to fight Trainee Shei, then showed off a rosary in front of Trainee Tyrkanzyaka. It was an elaborate, high-class suicide, wasn't it? Well, if they had planned on living in the first place, they wouldn't have fallen in here carrying bombs."

Still, if someone had come to visit, I had to go greet him. It would be easier if I read his intentions beforehand and judged whether I could use him. If he seemed completely useless, I'd have to use the regressor and the vampire to kill him.

Since I was going out anyway, listening to one more piece of information from the golem was a small profit. I put on my clothing packet and prepared to leave.

"All right, all right. I'll go take a look. Just wait here."

The golem urgently grabbed the hem of my pants.

『Please bring this unit with you. This office has a duty to observe the abnormal situation in Tantalus.』

"I don't want to. You're heavy."

『You are a laborer assigned to Tantalus and are obligated to follow the instructions of this office, the official in charge of this location. If you do not wish to suffer disadvantages for disobeying orders, carry out this office's instructions.』

"Did you think I'd listen because you said it so stiffly? Ah, my heart hurts so much that I don't even have the strength to lift a golem."

When I whined theatrically, the golem realized threats would get it nowhere and spoke.

『...What do you want? I warn you in advance, demanding material compensation from a soldier on duty is a serious crime.』

"I don't want anything from a golem. Try acting cute. As cute as possible. It would be nice if you sounded childish and had a little lisp."

『...There is no time....』

"There's no time, so you'd better hurry if you don't want to be late. Now then, how should I carry you? Piggyback? On my shoulders?"

『....』

A grinding sound came from the golem. I worried that part of its frame might break. I whistled leisurely.

I had whistled about three times when I heard it grit its teeth.

『P-piggyback... please.』

"Ah. That ending is still a little stiff. Even if a golem's body is hard, its heart should be soft."

Snap.

I heard something like a dry reed breaking through the microphone. After a strange burst of static I couldn't describe, a trembling voice came through.

『Give me a piggyback... big brother....』

"I never told you to call me big brother. Still, it feels much nicer when you speak softly. Isn't it wonderful when we all get along?"

Anyway, I couldn't refuse my adorable little sister's request.

I lifted the golem and set it on my shoulders. It had asked for a piggyback ride, but I worried that would block its view. It was my own small consideration.

With the golem's legs draped over my shoulders, I stepped into the corridor.

"Ah, for the record, I did carry out the military state's order. I didn't offer a bribe, so if you penalize me over this, you're the one letting personal feelings affect the evaluation. Surely a military state communications officer wouldn't commit perjury based on personal feelings?"

『---!!!』

"Did it break? There seems to be a problem with the transmission. Why can't I hear a person's voice?"

Sway, sway. I deliberately swung my upper body widely as I walked, hoping to teach the golem about thrills. The golem yanked at my hair with its hard fists. I heard my roots pop.

Okay. It had found my weak spot. Better not do that again.

Footnotes:

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