WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 53: The Progenitor and the Masseur

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After setting the golem down a short distance away, I stepped between the two vampires as naturally as if it were something someone had to do.

"Hey, illegal intruder. That's enough of your bullshit. Stop it and get up."

The vampire and the intruder both turned to me at once. The vampire watched me with a quiet, subdued gaze, while the intruder lifted his head slightly and glared.

A fierce thought came from the intruder, whose audience had been interrupted.

'How dare he! A mere human is interrupting this sacred occasion where I have come before the Progenitor? Does he want to die?'

The only reason those words did not come out was because the Progenitor was here. Otherwise, the intruder would have rushed me right away.

'If not for the Progenitor's presence, I would tear you apart, you bastard, and drain every last drop of your blood with bloodcraft!'

Violent hostility came at me. To the intruder, I probably looked like an obstruction who had come to ruin a long-awaited meeting.

Which was true.

Still, I hadn't stepped in without something to rely on. If the Progenitor hadn't been here, I never would have done this in the first place.

Because the person I had addressed from the start was not the intruder, but the vampire.

"Trainee Tyrkanzyaka."

If I fought the intruder, I would lose. Even if we both got cut and bled, he only had to gather his blood back up as though he had dropped some coins. I, on the other hand, would have to wrap my wounds tight and recuperate for days.

Then I just wouldn't fight.

Winning through a fight was amateurish. Winning without fighting was the mark of a true master.

I crossed my arms and raised my head. The reason I had always given off such a lighthearted air was for moments exactly like this.

I wiped away the smile lingering on my lips, furrowed my brow as though displeased, and twisted my body slightly into an unstable posture, like I might spring forward at any moment. A pose meant to make anyone watching uneasy.

To the intruder, who had never seen me before, I would probably look like any common delinquent. But to the vampire, who had grown used to my carefree and cheerful self, I would seem a little unfamiliar.

The unfamiliar soon became fear. Just for a moment, the vampire felt afraid of me.

...Of course, it wasn't fear of my power. It was the sort of fear you felt when a friend you had been close to suddenly got serious.

Still, the two emotions were surprisingly alike.

"I have been very patient."

The foundation of magic was neither sleight of hand nor strange magical tools.

True magic was playing with the audience's mind.

In that sense, I was still a magician.

"You arrived in another person's territory in the middle of the night without warning, disregarded its owner, sought out a guest as you pleased, and did not comply with a reasonable request. My territory, my standing, and my honor have all been threatened."

As I laid out my justification, I subtly showed my anger. I had given enough clues. The vampire drew the conclusion of my words herself.

Everything of mine had been threatened.

'Could he be... saying he'll kill him?'

That single thought flashed through her mind.

That was enough.

"They say that tolerating a third insult is not mercy, but indulgence. As you know, I'm quite a diligent person, so I cannot simply overlook this disrespect."

I narrowed my eyes and moved only one finger from my crossed arms, as if that finger alone was enough to remove the intruder.

Putting on an arrogant act, I asked the vampire.

"Still, I have some affection for you, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka, so I'll ask one final time. May I kill this intruder?"

I didn't have even the slightest ability to kill him, but the vampire, unaware of that, sincerely pleaded with me.

"...Do not. I ask you."

In the vampire's mind, I was someone comparable to, or even stronger than, the regressor. Absurd as that misunderstanding was, if the other person believed it, there was no reason not to use it.

The vampire was strong. But she did not try to involve herself in other people's affairs. She simply watched everything from the position of a complete bystander.

When the military state tore down an old church and found her beneath it, she knew. When they failed to kill her and chose to send her into the Abyss instead, she knew that too.

Yet she let it happen.

Even someone as detached as her could not turn away from the affairs of her own kind. She pitied those condemned as cursed, and felt responsible for creating them.

The vampire pleaded earnestly.

"If only for my sake, please."

Good. With a plea this earnest, she wouldn't find it suspicious if I stopped now.

"Then I will."

Whew. Success.

It would have been a problem if she had told me to kill or spare the intruder as I wished. Sparing him in this mood would have been strange, but unfortunately, I had no way to kill him right now.

Still, pretending my lack of ability was simply a lack of will, I spun around and spoke to the intruder.

"Know that you survived because Trainee Tyrkanzyaka has a pretty face."

"W-What?!"

In an instant, I changed the mood as if I had flipped a switch. I heard the vampire make a stunned sound behind me, but I ignored that for now.

"If that face had been ugly, I would have personally pickled you in garlic today. Enough already. Go back. Don't make a scene in the dead of night."

"Pickled... in garlic?"

The intruder had risen halfway, apparently unwilling to kneel before me. Yet even as I hurled abuse at him, he could neither attack nor flee. He just stood there awkwardly, his eyes darting about.

'The Progenitor herself said, "I ask you," to this human...? Could this human be unimaginably powerful, despite not looking like it?'

The intruder saw the vampire. The Progenitor he revered beyond measure was looking this way with concern. It was too serious to dismiss as a joke or misunderstanding.

The hierarchy among vampires was absolute. Doubting one's superior was blasphemy so grave it made one's blood run backward, and he couldn't even doubt a superior's judgment.

'It's possible. This is Tantalus, a place that once held all kinds of monsters! This human may be a monster beyond imagination!'

Having been taught manners a little late, the intruder straightened his clothes. Thinking he shouldn't offend me any further, he cleared his throat and held out a hand.

"My greetings are late. I am..."

"Forget it. It's still night. I don't know about you people, but humans need to sleep and keep watch at this hour."

I pointed at the collapsed administration office.

"Your room is that ruined administration office. There's an empty cabinet, so use it as a coffin and sleep. Don't expect better treatment than that."

"Ugh."

'I have never been treated this way anywhere...! But this is where the Progenitor has been living. The other residents of the Abyss must be strong and mysterious too, even if they are not equal to the Progenitor. Bow for now! Surviving comes first!'

The intruder bowed only to the vampire, then headed for the collapsed administration office without even meeting my eyes.

Whew. Thank goodness he didn't attack.

If you were going to run a con, you had to do it properly. Even someone who strutted around as a noble of the night bowed his head before me on his own. All those times I had pretended to be strong and survived countless crises had paid off.

What I did wasn't wrong.

While I was briefly shivering with satisfaction, I heard a voice.

"Thank you."

A parasol swayed into my view. The vampire had come to stand beside me. I answered calmly.

"What for? Between us, I can grant a request like that."

"Between us?"

"We're close enough for me to handle your heart, aren't we? We've formed such a deep relationship, after all."

"Pfft. Yes. That is true."

The vampire laughed. Then, with a quietly expectant expression, she placed a hand against the hollow of her chest.

Ah, wait. Again?

Her flesh split open. Her skin parted, revealing what should not have been seen. The lamp's light did not reach the more private depths, so nothing could be seen within the shadows of her cleavage.

Still, I was confident now. I was sure I could find the heart hidden inside using only the feeling in my hand.

"Since the subject has come up, will you do it once more?"

"Now? In the middle of all this?"

"Why not now? Isn't this the perfect time? It's dark all around, the whole world is quiet, and no one is watching us."

Her red eyes gleamed with anticipation. I sighed and raised my fingers.

I didn't particularly want to remember what followed.

The soft sensation in my hand (the heart). My fingers probing and digging deeper inside (the ribs and lungs). The tingling flashes (lightning magic), accompanied by an excited moan. Warm liquid spraying out like a fountain (blood).

After it was over, I did my best to adjust the memory in my head for the sake of my mental health. The vampire, meanwhile, contentedly put her skin and clothes back in place.

"Hehe. Thank you. I will be going in now."

With that, the vampire climbed atop the pitch-black coffin. Without a sound or any other telltale disturbance, it smoothly carried her toward the underground armory. The iron door marked with a red-light seal opened wide to welcome her. Only after the large coffin and shining silver hair disappeared did the iron door close with a heavy sound.

Pitch-black darkness and silence returned. I walked back over to the lamp I had set down.

Only then did the golem speak as if a dam had burst.

『What exactly was that just now?』

"Something tingly and pleasant."

『Tingly?』

"It's hard to explain. Think of it as something like a massage."

If anyone could understand from that alone, they were either a god or a mind reader. The golem was neither, so it tilted its head and reached its own conclusion.

『In any case, it appears that your relationship with the Progenitor is not poor.』

"Just an effort to stay alive."

The golem nodded.

『Then matters may become much easier. The visit by another vampire was an unforeseen situation. Active measures by personnel on site are required.』

I answered indifferently.

"Yes, work hard. Oh, and don't forget to reward me."

『A reward?』

"You're not thinking of keeping quiet about it, are you? I stepped between two vampires with the body of an ordinary person. I just risked my one life for the military state, so there should be some compensation."

『It is the duty of a citizen of the military state to serve the military state.』

What nonsense. I immediately picked up the golem. Suspended in the air by its neck, it flailed its limbs and cried out.

『Cease threatening behavior immediately. If negative evaluations accumulate, it may adversely affect whether you are released or your subsequent evaluation.』

"If Captain AB keeps piling excessive orders on me, I think I'll die before I receive any evaluation at all. Make a reasonable request. If you're going to use me like this, you should have brought in a real instructor."

『Are you not impersonating an instructor in order to survive even now? Impersonating a soldier is a serious crime punishable by death at most. This officer believes that simply overlooking it is a sufficiently meaningful reward.』

"Huh? Just because something makes sound doesn't make it a speaker, Captain AB."

I plucked the golem's speaker off with a tap. Having lost its mouth, the golem desperately flailed its limbs and reached toward me.

"I may not look it, but I'm working with my life on the line here, Captain AB. From now on, consider the other person's circumstances when you speak. Answer me."

The golem hurriedly bobbed its head up and down. After enjoying the sight enough, I flicked the speaker with a finger.

The golem hurriedly reached out to catch the flying speaker, but its iron frame was too hard to grasp anything. It floundered as if burned and barely managed to cradle the crystal sphere speaker in its arms. The way it hugged it so dearly, worried I might steal it, was almost pitiful.

After somehow reattaching the speaker, the golem spoke as if exhausted.

『...If it is within what this officer is authorized to permit, I will provide one reward. However, even if this unit is destroyed, exceeding my authority is impossible.』

Just as I thought. Golem or human, people became much more obedient once they felt a threat to their own safety. I set the golem down again.

"It's nothing much. Send me a few mana herbs. I've been using household magic every day lately, and I keep running out of mana. I feel weak."

『Mana herbs are level-three luxury goods. They are not permitted for you...』

When I tapped the speaker, the golem hurriedly changed its words.

『However, they may be requested as supplies. There is a valid reason, so I will have them supplied within a few days.』

"Good. Make sure to pack them in tight. Honestly, compared to what I'm doing now, a few mana herbs are nothing."

After making one threat, I turned around. Yawn. I was sleepy. I needed to go in and sleep quickly.

Enough sleep was the shortcut to a long life. I yawned widely and started back toward my room.

Then the golem grabbed my trouser leg again.

『Wait. Please transport this unit to the cafeteria.』

"What?"

『Without your cooperation, it will be difficult for this unit, with its many impediments, to return to the cafeteria. Please transport this unit to the cafeteria...』

"I can't hear you well. Strange. I heard you just fine on the way here. Is it because you're talking stiffly again?"

When I pretended to clean out my ear, the golem stopped talking. It seemed to have realized what I wanted.

『You have a duty to carry out this officer's legitimate request...』

"Try answering again. What did you say?"

After a brief moment of thought, the golem answered in a broken voice.

『...A piggyback ride. Please, big brother.』

I answered in return.

"Alright."

Footnotes:

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