WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 56: If You Get on My Nerves

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The skewer slipped into the bracelet's seam. The gap in the plainly alchemized bracelet widened, and the gray bead hanging in the center dropped out with a click. I picked it up between two fingers and examined it closely.

No doubt about it. Judging by its structure, it was unmistakably a clothing packet. Unlike ordinary clothing, though, this type could activate on its own without a bio-terminal.

Among compressed packets, the essence of alchemy, a few types worked without being inserted into a bio-terminal.

Papyrus packets containing high-value notes or confidential documents.

Weapon packets that produced simply structured weapons such as spears, swords, and shields.

Objects with simple structures unrelated to the user's physical information were sometimes sold with a device that supplied them with mana.

This was a parachute packet, used to descend slowly. Considering this was the Abyss, there was nothing strange about Finlay having fallen with one.

"Something's bothering me. Hm."

After imbuing the tip of the skewer with mana, I scraped at the groove in the parachute packet. Part of it opened, revealing an empty space inside. After shining a light into it, I flipped the parachute packet upside down and shook it.

Pat, pat. Tiny things scattered with a faint sound.

I set the packet down and looked at what had fallen out.

"Dirt?"

There was barely enough to count each grain.

On the surface, I could scoop up a pile of dirt tens of thousands of times larger with a single shovel.

Yet even these few grains of dirt looked unfamiliar in this place cursed by Mother Earth. In a structure built entirely of concrete, ordinary soil was hard to find.

"Was that it?"

I rubbed the dirt between two fingers. Finer particles scattered across the desk.

Now that the unwelcome guest Finlay had settled in, things were not going the way I wanted.

I had frightened Finlay thoroughly, and as intended, he had come to fear me, Azzy, and the regressor.

Yet the attitude he took here was quite different from what I had expected.

"Ah, Mr. Finlay. Found you. Come over for a moment. I need you to do something."

"I have no time for that."

"Excuse me?"

"The Progenitor will soon awaken. Before the Progenitor breathes the outside air, I must be the first to greet her. Remaining at the side of the Blood Lord awakened from slumber is both a duty and an honor."

Was he kidding me? No, he was planning to stay glued to her all morning? Was he making excuses because he didn't want to work?

But after reading his thoughts, I realized Finlay wasn't making excuses. Serving the Progenitor ranked so high among his priorities that nothing else even caught his attention.

On top of that.

'I am now the Progenitor's direct attendant. Serving her already keeps me busy, so I cannot do other work. Imagine the Progenitor's attendant doing menial labor. How badly would that damage the Progenitor's dignity? I couldn't do it even if it killed me.'

To anyone watching, it would have looked like he was slacking off because he didn't want to work. Astonishingly, this was his sincere belief. Finlay truly believed that menial labor would diminish both his dignity and the Progenitor's!

Good grief. If I had any strength, I would've cut off an arm first and threatened him afterward. It was a shame I didn't have the power to do that right now.

"Then who's going to work? Who's cooking? Who's cleaning?"

"You should handle those matters yourselves. We, the Nobles of the Night, granted life through the Progenitor's great authority, do not relieve ourselves, soil the ground, need food, or require light. We demand blood alone."

"What does the fact that you don't take a dump have to do with you not working? If you're going to put it that way, don't drink blood either. It's not like you gave birth to those humans and raised them yourself."

"We pay a suitable price in return. We possess the power and wealth to do so."

It wasn't as though he had either wealth or power right now. Why was he so confident? As I stood there dumbfounded, Finlay added smugly,

"Do you understand, commoner?"

"You want to take a punch from a military state that abolished the class system?"

When I clenched my fist and threatened him, Finlay flinched back.

"Ghk, gugh. I am the Progenitor's attendant. I cannot yield to outside pressure!"

"You act like the privileged class, but you talk like a freedom fighter. What is this? We have the embodiment of hypocrisy right here. Are you kidding me? Want me to separate your insides from your skin so you won't be hypocritical anymore?"

If I asked Azzy, she would separate his bones, flesh, and blood very neatly. A living centrifuge. One taste of the Doggy Death Roll, and he would come to his senses.

I was in the middle of threatening him when the underground armory door opened and the vampire appeared, sitting atop a coffin. Finlay's face brightened as if he had seen a savior.

"Progenitor! Have you awakened?"

"I am awake, so that will do."

Finlay immediately dropped to one knee to greet the vampire. At a lazy gesture, he rose and stood before the coffin like a herald before shouting at me.

"Make way! The Progenitor is passing through!"

"What is this nonsense?"

The large coffin was approaching, so I had no choice but to step aside. Finlay, brimming with pride at being allowed to attend the Progenitor, and the vampire, seated atop the coffin with a faint smile, passed by me.

As the vampire went past, she casually said,

"Hehe. Try to understand. He seems terribly excited to be serving me."

The vampire was clearly enjoying my discomfort.

I was so dumbfounded I couldn't even close my mouth. While I stood there blankly, Finlay cried out with overwhelming emotion.

"Progenitor! Where are you headed?"

"The fourth floor. I will show you a place I often visit."

"I will escort you!"

Thus, the Blood Lord and her servant moved off slowly, entirely as they pleased.

Even after that, Finlay kept getting in my way like a stone in the road.

"Ah, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka."

"Ahem! How dare you attach a condescending title like trainee to the Progenitor's name!"

"Huh?"

"That is enough, Finlay. I lack knowledge of this era. Since I need his knowledge, calling me a trainee is not wrong."

Finlay immediately fell silent and prostrated himself before the vampire.

"My apologies! The Progenitor's will was so profound that my shallow blood could not possibly grasp it!"

"Enough. I will speak with the instructor for a moment."

"I obey the Progenitor's will!"

Finlay withdrew while still prostrating himself. The vampire elegantly draped a parasol over one shoulder and said,

"Yes. What did you wish to say?"

"What do you mean? I heard you were looking for me, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka."

"Ah, yes. That was so."

The vampire snapped her fingers.

At that moment, Finlay collapsed while still prostrating himself. Having taken away his consciousness in an instant, the vampire approached me slowly.

"He would be noisy if he saw this, so I put him to sleep for a while. He will not even realize he was asleep."

The Progenitor's bloodcraft could perfectly control even another vampire's blood. She could sever someone's consciousness for an instant, then restore it.

After silencing Finlay, the vampire glanced around before splitting open her chest with a finger. Then she subtly leaned toward me and whispered.

"It has been rather infrequent lately. Go on."

"No. Even now, you only think of what you want..."

"I cannot show him this state."

Something about this didn't sit right with me. Still, I had no real grounds to refuse. With mixed feelings, I brought my finger to the vampire's heart.

* * *

"Instructor! The Progenitor asks where today's discussion will take place!"

"Huh? I wasn't planning to have one today."

"Ahem! Someone who calls himself an instructor is slacking off? As a worker of the state, fulfill your duty!"

"..."

"Ahem! I will go attend the Progenitor!"

Finlay strode away, leaving my burning glare behind.

This wasn't only my problem. The regressor happened to spot Finlay while walking by and called out to him.

"You there, vampire. Stop right there. Where is Tyrkanzyaka?"

"Ahem! How dare you casually call the Progenitor by name? A brat like you cannot compare to even the Progenitor's toes in standing, experience, or ability! You should know to use the highest honorifics!"

Suddenly scolded while walking along, the regressor moved her lips in brief bewilderment. Then her expression hardened as she replied coldly.

"...No. Fine. Then I'll ask you instead. About the question from last time. How did you get into the Abyss..."

"Ahem! Insolent! Are you so foolish that you do not understand even when I put it this indirectly? Resolve such trivial questions yourself! I am busy attending the Progenitor!"

Finlay said that, turned around, and immediately walked off. The regressor silently watched his retreating back before raising a hand to grip Skywarbler.

"...I'm going to slice him up. Don't stop me."

"If you're slicing him anyway, please dice him and cut him on the bias. Make the biggest piece smaller than a drain strainer. Otherwise, it'll be hard to throw him into the food waste bin."

Of course, we couldn't attack Finlay while he was under the vampire's protection. The regressor had avoided defying the vampire since being reprimanded last time, and I was even weaker than Finlay.

In the end, the regressor and I could only watch Finlay walk away.

* * *

"Eat up. Don't spill anything."

"Woof!"

Azzy was happily eating when she suddenly bared her teeth and growled. Azzy became endlessly well-behaved in front of food, so this was unusual.

Normally, her aggression would have scared me, but I had become used to it by now. Azzy only suddenly became irritated whenever Finlay came looking for us.

"Ahem! Ahem!"

I could hear his thoughts from the other side, too.

The metallic scent of blood reached me first. Finlay soon entered with a solemn expression, looked around, and clicked his tongue.

"Tsk. There aren't enough commoners here to provide blood. We must offer blood to the Progenitor. Now then, is there anyone willing to offer blood?"

He was saying that for me to hear. That lunatic had come looking for me, the human he found relatively easy to deal with, because he wanted to prepare a snack for the vampire.

The thought that I would naturally give it to him if he demanded it was infuriating. Should I teach him a lesson?

I patted Azzy's growling head and whispered into her ear.

"Azzy. Want to bite that thing?"

"Grrrrr."

"W-wait! Stop! I came to make a fair deal!"

Sensing danger, Finlay urgently held out his hand. Thinking I should at least hear him out, I stopped Azzy from charging at him right away.

"Wait, Azzy. Even a vampire like that needs something to leave on his tombstone."

"I said I came to make a deal! This is for the Progenitor!"

"These might be your last words, so think carefully before you speak. What is it this time?"

"It is about blood. I demand that you commoners offer blood to the Progenitor."

"For free?"

"Of course not."

Finlay stroked his mustache and spoke arrogantly.

"In the Fog Duchy, where commoners and Nobles of the Night live together, we pay for blood offered by commoners. Usually with food weighing about ten times as much as the blood."

"Azzy, are you curious how much meat we'd get if we cooked that body?"

"W-wait! But! Since blood is scarce at the moment, I will pay silver coins weighing about ten times as much as the blood!"

Ten times the weight in silver? That was worth considering. I changed my attitude in an instant.

When things weren't working, all you had to do was prepare more money. That was the economy of scale, wasn't it?

"Hello, customer. Welcome to the blood bank. How will you be paying?"

"I will write you a promissory note. Once you get outside, collect the payment from the Fog Duchy."

"Sorry, I didn't hear that?"

"Are your ears blocked? I said I would write you a promissory note."

What was he talking about? A promissory note? Even payment in hand wouldn't have been enough.

More importantly.

"How is a human supposed to find a country of vampires, visit its bank, and collect money with one promissory note?"

"That is none of my concern. Why should a noble concern himself with a commoner's affairs? Collecting the money is your responsibility."

The vampire said it in complete sincerity. In other words, he wanted to toss me a worthless IOU?

After considering his words for a moment, I gave Azzy an order.

"Azzy. Chase that thing outside. But don't kill him."

"Woof woof!"

"Aaaah! King of Dogs! Stop! I am the Progenitor's, urk!"

Azzy barked ferociously as she chased Finlay, who ran away in a panic, out of the building. When she returned with a satisfied expression, I grilled her an extra piece of meat.

But that didn't solve the underlying problem.

Footnotes:

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