WeTried Translations

Translator: Hydrogen B

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◈ Omniscient First-Person's Viewpoint

Chapter 56

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If You Get on My Nerves

The skewer slid into the bracelet's seam. The gap in the plain alchemized band spread open, and the gray bead hanging in the center dropped with a light tap. I picked it up between two fingers and examined it closely.

No doubt about it. From the structure alone, it was clearly a clothing packet. Unlike normal clothing, though, this type could operate on its own without a biometric terminal.

Among compressed packets, the essence of alchemy, there were a few types that worked even without being inserted into a biometric terminal.

A papyrus packet that held high-value promissory notes or confidential documents.

A weapon packet that produced simple weapons like spears, swords, or shields.

Things with simple structures that had nothing to do with the user's body data were sometimes sold with a magic-powered activation device.

This one was a parachute packet. An item for descending slowly. Considering this place was the Abyss, there was nothing strange about someone falling in with a parachute packet.

"Still, something feels off. Hm."

After imbuing the skewer's tip with magic, I scratched at the groove in the parachute packet. Part of it opened, revealing an empty cavity inside. I shone a light in, then turned the packet upside down and shook it.

Tap. A small, scattered sound. I set the packet down and looked at what had fallen out.

"Soil?"

Just a few grains, so little I could count them one by one.

On the surface, one shovel could scoop up a mound tens of thousands of times larger.

But in this place cursed by Mother Earth, even that tiny amount of soil felt foreign. In a structure built of nothing but concrete in every direction, ordinary dirt was hard to find.

"So that's what it was?"

I rubbed the soil between two fingers. Finer crumbs drifted across the desk.

With the uninvited guest Finlay now settled in, things were not moving the way I wanted.

I had frightened Finlay enough, and just as intended, he had reached the point where he feared me, Azzy, and the regressor.

But the attitude he took after that was very different from what I expected.

"Ah, Mr. Finlay. Found you. Come here for a second, I need you."

"I have no time for that."

"What?"

"The Progenitor will soon cough awake. Before she takes in the outside air, I must be the first to receive her. Standing beside the awakened Blood Lord is both duty and honor."

Was he kidding me? No, was he seriously planning to camp there from morning onward? Was this just an excuse because he did not want to work?

But after reading his thoughts, I realized he was not making excuses. Serving the Progenitor ranked so high in his priorities that nothing else even entered his mind.

On top of that.

'I am now a direct attendant of the Progenitor. Serving her already keeps me busy, so I cannot do other tasks. Imagine the Progenitor's own attendant doing menial labor. How much face would she lose? I would rather die.'

To anyone watching, it looked like a guy slacking off because he did not want to work, but unbelievably, this was his sincere belief. Finlay truly believed that doing odd jobs would diminish both his dignity and the Progenitor's.

Unbelievable. If I had the power, I would have cut his arm first and then yelled at him. The worst part was that I had no such power right now.

"No, then who's supposed to do the work? Cooking? Cleaning?"

"That is for your side to handle. We nobles of the night, granted life by the Progenitor's great authority, do not relieve ourselves, do not stain the earth, and need neither food nor light. We require only blood."

"What does not taking a dump have to do with not working? If you're going to argue like that, then stop drinking blood too. You did not give birth to that human and raise them yourself."

"We pay appropriate compensation instead. We have sufficient power and wealth."

You do not even have that power or wealth on hand right now, so why are you so cocky? While I stood there dumbfounded, Finlay added one smug line.

"Do you understand, peasant?"

"You want to take a punch from the class-free military state?"

When I clenched my fist and threatened him, Finlay flinched back.

"Ghk... I am the Progenitor's attendant. I cannot yield to outside pressure!"

"Your actions are entrenched privilege, but your words are those of a freedom fighter. What is this? Looks like I found the walking embodiment of hypocrisy. Playing games with me? Want me to separate your insides from your shell so you can stop being two-faced?"

If I asked Azzy, she would separate bone, flesh, and blood very neatly. One puppy death roll from a living centrifuge and he would come to his senses. I was in the middle of threatening him when it happened.

At that moment, the door to the underground armory opened, and the vampire appeared riding on top of her coffin. Finlay's face brightened like he had seen a savior.

"Progenitor! Have you coughed awake!"

"I am awake. That is enough."

Finlay immediately dropped to one knee to welcome the vampire. She gave a relaxed wave, and Finlay rose, took his place in front of the coffin like a herald, and started shouting at me.

"Make way! The Progenitor is passing!"

"What the..."

A huge coffin was coming at me, so I had no choice but to step aside. Finlay, puffed up with pride now that he was serving the Progenitor, and the vampire, seated atop the coffin with a faint smile, passed right by me.

As she passed me, the vampire let a comment slip.

"Heh. Understand him. He seems terribly excited to serve me."

The vampire saying that was clearly enjoying my discomfort.

It was so absurd I could not even close my mouth. While I stood there blankly, Finlay shouted with overflowing emotion.

"Progenitor! Where shall we go!"

"The fourth floor. I will tell you where I often go."

"I obey!"

And so, the Blood Lord and her thrall moved slowly, and entirely as they pleased.

After that, Finlay kept getting in the way like a loose stone in the road.

"Ah, trainee Tyrkanzyaka."

"How dare you attach a condescending title like trainee to the Progenitor's holy name!"

"Huh?"

"Enough, Finlay. I lack knowledge of this era. I need his knowledge, so trainee is not incorrect."

Finlay immediately shut his mouth and prostrated himself before the vampire.

"My apologies! The Progenitor's will is so deep that my shallow blood could not grasp it!"

"Enough. I will speak to the instructor for a moment."

"I receive the Progenitor's will!"

As Finlay withdrew while still prostrated, the vampire draped her parasol elegantly and spoke.

"Yes. What were you trying to say?"

"What do you mean? You said trainee Tyrkanzyaka called for me."

"Ah, yes. I did."

The vampire snapped her fingers. In that instant, Finlay collapsed face-down in the same prostrating posture. After taking his consciousness in a single moment, she walked over calmly.

"He would make noise if he saw this, so I put him to sleep for a moment. He will not even realize he slept."

The Progenitor's bloodcraft controlled even another vampire's blood perfectly. Cutting consciousness for an instant and reconnecting it was possible too.

After silencing Finlay, the vampire glanced around, then used her fingers to open her own chest. She subtly leaned toward me and whispered softly.

"It has been a little rare lately. Come, quickly."

"No. Even now, everything still goes your way..."

"I cannot let him see me like this."

Something about this bothered me, really bothered me. But I had no good reason to refuse. Feeling uneasy, I brought my finger to her heart.

*****

"Instructor! The Progenitor asks where today's talk will be held!"

"Huh? I was not planning to do it today."

"Hey! Someone who calls himself an instructor is being lazy! If you are a worker of the nation, fulfill your duty!"

"..."

"Gh, hm! I will go attend the Progenitor!"

Leaving my stinging stare behind him, Finlay strode off.

This was not just my problem. Right then, the regressor was walking by, saw Finlay, and called out to stop him.

"Hey, vampire. Stop right there. Where is Tyrkanzyaka?"

"How dare you say the Progenitor's name so carelessly? A brat like you cannot compare to the Progenitor even to her toes, in status, in years, or in ability. You should naturally use the highest honorifics!"

The regressor, suddenly scolded mid-step, moved her lips in brief confusion, then quickly hardened her expression and replied coldly.

"...No. Fine. Then I will ask you. It is related to my last question. You, how did you get into the Abyss..."

"How insolent! Even when I say it this indirectly, you still do not understand? Solve trivial doubts like that yourself. I am busy attending the Progenitor!"

With that, Finlay turned and walked away at once. The regressor watched his back in silence, then raised her hand and gripped Skywarbler.

"...I am going to slice him. Do not stop me."

"If you're going to slice him anyway, please do diced cubes and bias cuts. Make the biggest piece smaller than a drain strainer. Otherwise it will be hard to throw away in the slop bin."

Of course, we could not attack Finlay while he was under the vampire's protection. The regressor had been avoiding open defiance after the vampire warned her last time, and I was even weaker than Finlay.

In the end, the regressor and I could only watch Finlay disappear into the distance.

*****

"Eat well. Do not spill."

"Woof!"

Azzy was happily eating her meal. Right in front of the table, where she normally became perfectly well-behaved around food, she suddenly bared her teeth and growled.

Normally I would have panicked at that aggression, but by now I was used to it. Azzy only got suddenly irritated when Finlay showed up.

"Ahem! Ahem!"

Right on cue, I heard thoughts from the other side.

A fishy scent of blood arrived first. Then Finlay walked in with a stern face, looked around, and clicked his tongue.

"Tsk. There are too few peasants here to provide blood. Blood must be offered to the Progenitor. Well then, is there anyone who will offer blood?"

He was clearly saying it for me to hear. That lunatic had come to me, the human in the most approachable position around here, to secure a snack for the vampire.

The way he assumed I would naturally hand it over if he demanded it was infuriating. Should I teach him a lesson?

I stroked Azzy's growling head and whispered in her ear.

"Azzy. Want to bite that thing?"

"Grrrr."

"W, wait! Stop! I came to make a legitimate deal!"

Sensing danger, Finlay thrust out his hand in a panic. I stopped Azzy, who was about to spring at him, deciding to hear him out first.

"Wait, Azzy. Even a vampire like that needs final words for his gravestone."

"I said I came to make a deal! This is for the Progenitor!"

"It might become your last words, so think hard before you speak. What is it now?"

"It is about blood. I demand that you peasants offer blood tribute to the Progenitor."

"For free?"

"Of course not."

Finlay twirled his mustache and spoke arrogantly.

"In the Fog Duchy, where peasants and nobles of the night live together, blood offered by peasants is compensated. Usually with food worth around ten times the blood's weight."

"Azzy. Curious how much meat that body would yield if we cooked it?"

"W, wait! But! Blood is precious right now! I will pay silver coins worth around ten times the blood's weight!"

Ten times the blood's weight? At that much silver, it was worth considering. I switched my attitude in an instant.

If things were not working, bring more money. That was economy of scale.

"Hello, customer. Welcome to the Blood Bank. How will you be making payment?"

"I will write a promissory note. Cash it in the Fog Duchy once you go outside."

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Are your ears blocked? I said I will write a promissory note."

What was he talking about? A promissory note? Even cash would barely cut it.

No, more importantly.

"With one promissory note, how is a human supposed to find a vampire country, visit its bank, and collect the money?"

"That is not my concern. Why should a noble care about a peasant's affairs? Collecting the money is your job."

He genuinely meant it. So he basically wanted to hand me a worthless paper check.

After mulling over his words for a moment, I gave Azzy an order.

"Azzy. Chase that thing out of the building. Do not kill him, though."

"Woof woof!"

"Aaaagh! King of Dogs! Stop! I am the Progenitor's, guh!"

As Finlay ran for his life, Azzy barked fiercely and chased him all the way outside the building. I grilled one extra piece of meat for Azzy when she came back with a proud look.

But this still did not solve the root problem.

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