WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Dionysus
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 207: Among Geniuses (3)
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Illia Lindsay had spent her life wandering down a long, difficult road.
Her brother Carl Lindsay's defeat and disappearance had stolen her chance to live her own life. More than ten years had passed that way.
Even after meeting friends like Airen Farreira, not much had changed.
Of course, she had realized that she had been heading in the wrong direction.
But what was she supposed to do about that?
Simply knowing she had been wrong did not solve anything. She still did not know the answer. She still did not know her own path.
Even as Ignet Crescentia moved forward with certainty, even when Airen Farreira, her truly good friend, found his own sword, Illia remained where she was.
She was someone who would not have made it this far without Airen's outstretched hand.
Someone whose dam of emotions had burst at a single word of recognition casually offered by Ignet.
Someone unable to walk her own path, constantly swayed this way and that.
Someone who had not taken even one step forward since she had been swept up by the public's attention.
'Is this really right?'
That was why she could not help hesitating before knocking on the door.
She dreamed of becoming someone who could walk forward proudly on her own, so was it really all right to ask her father for help again, like a child?
The question circled through her mind the entire way down the long hallway.
Still, Illia Lindsay knocked.
'It's all the same anyway.'
That was right. She had made the same mistakes countless times.
She knew she was not complete yet. She knew she was still terribly lacking.
Perhaps that was the one thing that had changed since Proof Land.
Let's admit it.
Right now, I need help.
Once she thought that, she felt much better.
Having shaken off the unease in her heart, Illia appeared before Joshua Lindsay as his daughter for the first time in a very, very long time.
“I’d like to ask for advice about something that’s been worrying me.”
She regretted it immediately.
Why had she not come to him sooner?
'He makes me feel so safe.'
She felt at ease.
The entire time she spoke, her heart felt unbelievably calm.
He looked at her with eyes full of kindness and warmth.
Wrapped in the absolute trust that only family could offer, something she could never feel from others, Illia slowly shared her worries.
After some time had passed...
“You seem to be misunderstanding something.”
After careful thought, Joshua Lindsay finally spoke. His words pointed her in a direction she had never considered, her perspective having become so narrow.
“Why do you think walking your own path means you have to be alone?”
“Pardon?”
“Isn’t that right? People are creatures who live by connecting with others. Beggars in the slums, kings in lofty places, men, women, nobles, commoners, the elderly, children... all of them. No one can live alone.”
“But...”
Illia grew even more confused.
Had Airen not said that if she could not live her own life because she was swayed by what others said and how they looked at her, there was no meaning in that life?
Had he not asked whether blindly following Ignet was truly the right path?
Yet her father was saying the exact opposite.
People were beings who connected with others.
Beings who influenced one another.
Illia wore a flustered expression and was about to say something.
“The important thing is that you are the one who chooses to continue those connections.”
Joshua Lindsay smiled and continued.
As he had said before, he stressed that people could not stand alone.
They shared emotions, exchanged thoughts, and shared their talents. By filling in one another’s weaknesses, people could live better lives.
Of course, that did not mean relying on others for everything.
Nor did it mean she should listen to every word spoken by everyone who crossed her path.
“I heard about it from Perry Martinez. I hear you cursed out the nobles who were badmouthing you?”
“That was...”
“I’m not going to scold you. I want to praise you, actually. You did well. You really did.”
“...?”
“Isn’t that right? Did they say those things for your sake?”
“No.”
“If not, was there anything you could have learned from their criticism?”
“...No.”
“Exactly. In the end, their words were completely useless to you. It was right to ignore them.”
Joshua smiled and nodded before continuing.
“But there are also things you must never ignore. Like what your friend... Airen said.”
After thinking for a moment, Illia nodded.
He was right.
The nobles of Lavath and Airen Farreira were different.
His words had been for her sake.
Nor had they been wrong, in her view. They were more than enough to make her reflect and grow.
If not for him, she would not have been able to honestly ask her father for help as she had tonight.
Having thought that far, Illia met Joshua’s eyes.
She thought she finally understood what her father was trying to say.
“So... the important thing wasn’t whether I spend time with others or not.”
“That’s right.”
Joshua smiled even more broadly and continued.
“From now on, countless words, gazes, and actions from countless people will pass through your life. They will shake you. But it is not right to close your eyes and ears because you fear all that. That is not walking your own path. It is only isolating yourself from the world and curling up alone.”
“...”
“Accept what should be accepted, and let go of what should be let go. If you judge something to be useless, curse once like you did at the banquet and shake it off. If it is advice that will nourish you, accept it humbly. Now then, let’s talk about it again. What is the most important thing in making those judgments properly?”
“...Focusing on myself first, not others.”
“Exactly.”
He stroked his daughter’s head and spoke firmly.
“You do not need to focus on every little thing others say. As long as you understand yourself properly, not others, every problem can be resolved.”
At that moment, Illia Lindsay felt her mind clear.
What kind of person was she?
What did she like, and what did she dislike? What path was for her sake, and what path made her curl up and hide?
If she understood that clearly and thought of it first, if she could make her own choices instead of blindly reacting to the words and actions of others, then she would no longer need to fear other people’s gazes.
She would no longer have to suffer over their words.
'The same goes for Ignet.'
Illia closed her eyes and thought of Ignet Crescentia.
The swordsmanship she had shown, the courage she had shown, and the word of recognition she had given Illia.
None of that was a problem.
Illia had recognized her own feelings clearly. She had resented Ignet and disliked her, but... she did not hate her.
If anything, she admired her, if only a little.
She also realized that those feelings had been driving her growth.
'Let's separate them clearly.'
The incidents caused by Ignet.
The sadness caused by Ignet.
The rumors, comparisons, and mocking voices caused by Ignet.
She did not need any of those things. She did not need to listen to them or hold them in her heart.
But that did not mean she had to ignore and turn away from the recognition of an outstanding swordswoman.
Illia decided to take joy in Ignet’s praise and accept it wholeheartedly.
She would make it nourishment for herself and use it to move forward.
But...
“Dad.”
“Yes, my daughter.”
“Thank you so much for your advice. I’m sorry, but I need to go somewhere for a moment.”
“Hm? Where are you...?”
The instant she focused on herself, she realized there was something far more important than Ignet.
Illia quickly left her father’s room.
Then she ran with all her might.
She felt a little sorry for her father.
But she could not bear it. She could not hold back.
She had finally realized.
The moment she focused on herself, there was someone whose presence became greater than anything else. To see him, Illia ran toward the training ground at full speed.
How did she know he would be there?
She just knew.
The kind of Sorcerer’s intuition that only came once in a great while in life had descended upon her.
Illia let out a breath as she looked at the precious friend who had appeared before her, as though it were only natural.
No, the person she loved, Airen Farreira.
“Haa, haa...”
“Illia?”
“...”
“What’s wrong?”
She heard Airen’s voice.
She saw the face of the man who had given her great strength at Krono Fencing Hall, at Proof Land, and here as well.
She could see the concern in his eyes and smell the faint scent of sweat on him.
She liked all of it.
For the first time in years, Illia Lindsay had focused entirely on herself and fully understood her own feelings. She opened her mouth to speak the words she had kept inside.
“...”
But she could not bring herself to say them.
It could not be helped.
She had spent her entire life focused not on herself, but on other people’s reactions, gazes, and actions. She could not clearly picture what she looked like right now.
That sent her confidence plummeting.
'What do I look like right now?'
'Does Airen think I’m strange for suddenly running out here?'
'I don’t think this is the right situation to say it...'
'No, Airen probably only thinks of me as a friend...'
Even among the dozens of thoughts that arose in that brief instant, there were very few positive ones.
Then Illia realized something once again.
There was something just as important as knowing what kind of person she was.
No, something even more important.
'...Loving myself.'
“Illia, are you all right?”
“...”
“Illia? Illia?”
Airen Farreira approached, having sheathed his sword, his face full of concern.
Illia was so grateful for that.
She knew the feelings behind every swing of his sword. Seeing him stop even that to worry about her made her feelings grow deeper.
Of course, that was all.
She understood herself better than before, but... she still needed time to love herself more.
It was difficult, but Illia decided to endure a little longer.
'Let's cherish myself a little more.'
Until she gained confidence.
Until she could like herself.
Until she became someone attractive enough for Airen to like her.
Until then, she would hide these feelings. Just a little longer.
Instead...
“Airen.”
“Yeah?”
“I just came because I wanted to see you.”
“...Huh?”
“That’s exactly what I mean. We haven’t run into each other much lately, have we?”
“R-Right.”
“So I came. Because I wanted to see you.”
“...”
“Should we spar for the first time in a while?”
“Hmm... shall we?”
Airen nodded.
Watching him, Illia smiled brightly. Airen looked slightly surprised at the sight.
She looked much brighter than usual.
But there was nothing strange about it from Illia’s perspective.
She liked Airen.
She liked spending time with Airen.
She did not have the confidence to reveal the former yet, but she saw no reason to hide the latter.
She would gradually stop pretending that she did not feel what she felt.
She would stop hiding her emotions, too.
Let's act with more confidence and express myself honestly. Let's not hide who I am because I fear the reactions of people who do not matter.
If she did that...
'Someday, I’ll become someone attractive enough to express these feelings.'
Looking at Airen Farreira, Illia Lindsay smiled even more brightly.
Only the moon in the night sky quietly watched as the two traded sword strikes.
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