Reformation of the Deadbeat Noble - Chapter 230

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Dionysus

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 230: A Way to Walk Long (3)

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One year ago.

After the championship match against Illia Lindsay, Airen Farreira had graduated from his Past Life self.

Of course, he had met Karen Winker again through Gurgar and the Jester Demon.

Yet he had never seen him in his dreams again.

From the age of fifteen to twenty-two, they had shared a connection for seven whole years. For a while, Airen regretted thinking that bond had come to an end.

‘...I hadn’t graduated after all.’

The familiar sky, familiar yard, familiar scent.

Airen Farreira’s expression stiffened as the rural village unfolded before him once more.

No, that was not quite right. At that moment, he was merely a formless mass of consciousness floating through the air like a ghost.

His gaze shifted.

Then he saw someone familiar.

It was not his Past Life self.

It was someone even more familiar, yet strangely unfamiliar at the same time.

Airen Farreira himself was swinging a sword in a serious stance.

Whoosh-!

Swish!

Whoosh!

Airen’s sword was far stronger and fiercer than Karen Winker’s had been in his youth.

There was no wasted movement in any of his motions, and every swing carried a sharp edge. His balance was excellent as well, enough to draw admiration from any swordsman who saw it.

But Airen did not focus on that.

With something else on his mind, he simply watched his other self practice with the sword.

“...”

At some point, his eyes opened.

He was no longer dreaming.

Airen rose and looked out the window.

The view outside was still dark.

The room was still silent.

He probably had not slept even three full hours this time.

Sitting alone in the quiet, he realized something.

Today’s dream had not been unique to today.

Even after graduating from the man in his dream, he had continued practicing with the sword in his dreams every day.

‘...No, it wasn’t practice.’

Airen Farreira shook his head.

Was it because of Philip Lloyd’s words?

Unlike before, when he had swung his sword unconsciously, today he had been able to look at himself objectively.

He had become a third party, able to read his own expression, mood, and heart.

It was not that he lacked passion.

He could still see the conviction burning within him.

But it had clearly been fading. Meanwhile, even greater exhaustion, anxiety, tension, and pressure had been weighing him down.

Remembering his dream self once more, Airen nodded.

He thought he understood what Lord Lloyd had meant.

“I...”

He had not been focusing on the dream he wanted to achieve.

Instead, he had been sinking deeper into thoughts of himself failing to achieve that dream, and the negative emotions that came from it. He only realized that now.

‘Nothing has changed since the Dark Barrier.’

He knew he needed to let go.

He had even managed it once. At least, that had been the case when he broke the Dark Barrier.

When he had cast aside his meaningless obsession with cutting water, he had been free and natural. He was not like that now.

Still, he was not terribly disappointed by that fact.

He had learned through repeated failures that he could not gain what he wanted all at once, and that a certain amount of effort did not always bring a certain amount of reward.

‘I can start again.’

Airen nodded.

The teachings of Ian, the Hall Master of Krono Fencing Hall, and Lord Lloyd’s advice were fundamentally the same.

Yet Lord Lloyd’s words about sleeping deeply struck him harder. Airen felt he could accept them in his heart, rather than merely understanding them with his head.

Of course, he did not have only positive thoughts.

As he slowly reflected on his past self, he muttered inwardly.

‘I really am the type to make life exhausting for myself.’

Ever since his days as a prospective trainee, that is, ever since he had resolved to find his own sword, Airen’s mind had never rested for even a moment.

Not while traveling in a carriage.

Not when he returned home and lay down in his beloved room.

Not even during the quiet moments that inevitably came while traveling from city to city. Airen was always worrying.

It had grown worse after he faced his Past Life in Durkali.

Even when he saw flowers, he could not focus on them.

Even when the wind blew, he could not focus on its refreshing touch.

It was the same at all other times.

No matter what he saw, heard, or did, his thoughts were somewhere else entirely.

‘Like a child throwing a tantrum, demanding what he wants right away and threatening to get angry if he doesn’t get it...’

Airen suddenly burst out laughing.

It was ridiculous.

Only a few hours ago, he had resolved to free himself from useless obsessions, rest comfortably, and let go for a while.

Yet here he was, following one worry with another. His obsession with letting go of obsession was tying him down.

This would not be as easy as he had thought.

Muttering quietly, he sighed and got to his feet.

He thought he needed a completely different kind of effort, then washed himself in cold water to clear that thought from his head. It did not help much, of course.

He laughed again as he left the washroom.

Then he saw Brett, who had somehow entered his room.

“Brett? What is it?”

“I heard.”

“Heard what?”

“I heard about your condition from Father. You haven’t been resting or enjoying yourself properly?”

“...?”

“Is that right?”

“...It is. But I’m fine now. I’ve taken Lord Lloyd’s advice to heart. I’ll be much more at ease than before...”

“Bullshit.”

Brett Lloyd spoke firmly.

Airen had no answer and could only stare blankly at his friend. Brett continued.

“Do you think I don’t know you? Back when you were the lazy lord, you probably locked yourself in your room all day, thinking depressing thoughts. Since picking up a sword, you haven’t been able to relax for even a single minute or second because you’re always thinking about how to improve, even a little.”

“...”

“Someone like you can’t be left alone. Get ready and come with me. I’ll be waiting outside.”

“What is this all of a sudden...?”

Airen asked, flustered.

Brett, who had been about to leave the room, turned around.

He grinned.

“Having fun isn’t easy either. If you want to do it properly, you need someone who’s done it before.”

“...”

“Today, an experienced instructor will teach you how to eat, play, and rest. So quit complaining and follow me.”

Click.

His friend closed the door and left.

Airen Farreira stared in the direction Brett had disappeared for a long time, then burst out laughing again.

It was a much brighter, lighter laugh than before.

* * *

Despite how confident he had sounded in Airen’s room, Brett Lloyd was not very good at having fun.

The food at a restaurant he had called famous was terrible. They went to see a supposedly famous street musician, only to leave with Brett frowning.

At the art museum, Brett was the first to get bored and run out.

“You don’t seem very good at this.”

“I know a good tavern.”

“...”

“It’s a shame it isn’t open yet because it’s still daytime.”

Airen snickered at Brett’s shameless response.

To be honest, he had already known.

Brett might have had more social experience than Airen, but he was still only twenty-one.

Besides, he had spent half his life at a fencing hall. This result had been somewhat predictable.

Still, Airen was not bored.

He was not irritated or tired either.

His friend’s concern for him.

Feeling that, Airen muttered inwardly.

‘Thank you.’

A person’s ill will did not flow in only one direction.

When someone disliked another person, that person felt it and sent the same hatred back.

It was natural and obvious, something that needed no explanation.

Goodwill was the same.

When someone felt fond of you, you naturally formed a good impression of that person. Those feelings flowed back in return, creating a positive cycle.

It was the same for Airen now.

The emotions that had stagnated inside him whenever he was alone began to flow after being stirred by Brett’s goodwill.

The Airen who had dragged future anxieties into the present and worried over them disappeared. In his place emerged an Airen who could focus on the joy of the present.

It was not only for one day.

“Should we go on a date for the first time in a while, brother?”

The next day, Kiril Farreira invited him on a date.

“Airen! I, I made lots of new friends! Want to come see them with me? There’s even a black cat just like me!”

The day after that, Lulu invited him out.

The next day, and the day after that, were the same.

Brett, Kiril, Lulu, Lord Lloyd, and the Countess.

Airen could not ignore the goodwill flowing toward him. He began putting his heart into returning as much as he received, no, even more than that.

That was the beginning.

The pressure that he might fail to achieve his dream.

The anxiety over whether he was truly on the right path, whether everything might be fine today but not tomorrow.

He was no longer caught by such feelings.

Airen had once been unable to focus on flowers even when looking at them.

He had been unable to feel the wind even when it blew against him.

But it was different when he was with the precious people in his life.

When he was with Brett, his thoughts naturally turned toward Brett.

When he was with Kiril, toward Kiril.

When he was with Lulu, toward Lulu.

As he felt his thoughts and emotions flow naturally, he realized how much useless mental energy he had wasted until now.

‘I was such an idiot.’

Airen Farreira, seated in a soft chair at the Concert Hall, looked around him.

Brett, Kiril, Lulu, Lance, and the Count and Countess were all there. People who were so precious to him.

Their expressions were all different, but their hearts were the same.

Feeling their goodwill flow toward him, he was able to focus completely, for the first time, not on the anxious future, but on the joyful present.

“What are you looking at?”

“...”

“It’s about to start, so quit making that stupid face and look ahead. Music isn’t something you enjoy only with your ears. It’s better when you enjoy it with your eyes too.”

“Son.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Stop talking nonsense.”

“...”

“Kiril, I’m scared...”

“It’s okay. I’ll hold you.”

“Mm...”

Airen did not laugh out loud.

Yet the smile on his face did not fade. Looking brighter than ever, he fixed his gaze forward, and before long, the performance began.

♪♩♬♬♪

Airen did not know much about music.

Piano, violin, cello... Those were the only instruments he even knew.

As he listened to the music ringing out in time with the conductor’s elegant hand movements, he thought it did not seem much different from the music he had heard on the street yesterday.

But it did not matter.

There was no problem with that.

Right now, in this moment.

Unlike his past self, he could focus completely on the situation, the atmosphere, and the performance.

...As he felt the melody flow into him.

Airen gently closed his eyes.

“Hmm, this is nice.”

“Son.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Could you explain exactly what you like about it?”

“I’ll think deeply about it after we return home, then tell you.”

“Son.”