WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Arsène

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◈ Spring Never Comes to Stolen Fields ◈

Chapter 23: Giving Up

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After my interview with the homeroom teacher, I didn't feel very good.

I'd already sensed that he was stronger than me during my close match with Luna.

But what he'd told me today hurt even more.

"Celia. I'll be honest with you. At this level, you'd lose to the Demon King's subordinates before you ever reached him."

"How would you know that?"

The homeroom teacher answered calmly.

"Because I've fought them. The Demon King's subordinates."

I flinched.

I instinctively knew the subordinates he meant weren't weak demon spies like the ones I'd killed.

"Then... what should I do...?"

I thought I'd already learned so much.

I'd been sure I could defeat anyone.

But after meeting Luna and my homeroom teacher, I could feel my confidence slowly being worn away.

On top of that, because of Sirius, I hadn't even been able to focus whenever I picked up a sword lately.

I grew anxious.

The homeroom teacher nodded as if he understood.

"There's no need to rush. You will hardly ever fight alone from now on. Besides, the Proof period lasts three whole years. By the time it ends, you'll surely be twice as strong as you are now."

Looking at the man before me, I was certain there was plenty I could learn from him.

"Yes."

I nodded reluctantly.

I still... wasn't strong enough.

"Good. You'll gradually learn how to work together as a Party, but never neglect your training."

After once again telling me how inadequate I was, the homeroom teacher told me to bring Luna in.

Luna could be obnoxious, but I was curious about the evaluation she would receive.

"It's your turn, Luna Iaros."

Luna went in to meet the homeroom teacher, leaving me with a rare chance to be alone with Sirius.

"Sirius."

"Yes?"

"Do you think I'm weak too?"

My chest felt tight. I wanted to ask someone, anyone.

"No?"

Sirius looked at me as though he couldn't understand why I was asking.

"What did the homeroom teacher say to you?"

"Well..."

It was embarrassing.

"...He said that... at this rate... I don't stand a chance against the Demon King..."

I was the Hero, yet here I was saying something so pathetic.

Still, I believed Yuwol would encourage me.

That child had always encouraged me whenever I was upset, even over the smallest things.

"No. I think you'll have a chance once you grow stronger."

Sirius encouraged me with surprising seriousness.

It might have been different if someone else had said it, but hearing those words in Yuwol's voice calmed my anxious heart.

"Right...? If I train more... I can become stronger, can't I...?"

It was pathetic, but I wanted to hear him encourage me once more.

"You're the Hero. I'm sure you can do it."

He smiled brightly at me.

I'd missed that face so much that I had to fight back the urge to touch it.

"Thank you, Sirius. I guess training is the only answer."

The conversation died out, and an awkward silence settled between us. I tried changing the subject.

"By the way, did you try some of the fruit yesterday?"

"Ah... the fruit? Um... it was delicious!"

After hesitating for a moment, he said it was delicious a beat too late.

Maybe he hadn't touched it yet. He didn't need to lie about something like that.

"If you want more, just let me know. There's still plenty in my room."

With that, I left the training ground.

After the interview, I swung my sword to my heart's content for the first time in a while.

I checked every basic technique Master had taught me, one by one.

After drawing a clean half-circle through the air with my sword, I ended my training for the day.

My whole body was soaked in sweat, but I felt refreshed.

One thing Sirius had said.

That I could do it because I was the Hero.

Right. There was no need to make things difficult.

I was the Hero, and there was nothing I couldn't accomplish through my own will.

Once I returned to the Dormitory, I washed up, changed into pajamas, and ate a simple dinner.

I sat on the sofa and stared blankly outside.

The sun had already set, telling me the day was over.

Wondering if I might get another chance to talk with Sirius, I went out onto the terrace.

Then, as if by magic, a deep sigh drifted on the wind all the way to my room.

It seemed today really was my lucky day.

"Why are you sighing like that?"

I peeked out and tried to speak to him as naturally as possible.

"I just... lately, I feel like I don't know myself very well."

Sirius looked utterly drained as he said that.

You were the one who cheered me up whenever I was down. Why are you the one feeling down now?

As I wondered how I should encourage him, I decided to try something.

Without saying a word, I climbed barefoot onto the railing of my terrace.

"H-Hero?"

I heard Sirius's startled voice.

I took one step after another along the railing, then lightly jumped and landed on the railing outside Sirius's room.

The cool wind brushed against my cheeks.

His black eyes met mine.

"I'm going to jump."

I was certain I wouldn't get hurt even if I did.

"What...?"

"From here. I'm going to jump down there."

I bluntly informed him as he stared at me in confusion.

Today was a lucky day, so I would test whether my luck lasted until the end.

I spread my arms wide and started counting.

"Three."

Sirius's eyes widened.

"Two."

What would he do?

"One."

I just hoped he wouldn't leave me alone.

With that thought, I let my weight fall backward.

Gravity pulled me down with force.

That was when it happened.

Sirius's hand rescued my falling body.

And his next words revealed the truth.

"What do you think you're doing, Celia?"

Sirius grabbed my shoulders, his voice angry as he called me Celia.

I knew it... You really are Yuwol...

Sirius had never called me Celia before.

From our first meeting at the entrance ceremony to every time we passed each other, he had always called me Hero.

The way he spoke as though he truly cared about me.

The way the last syllable rose whenever he called my name.

How could he still be exactly the same as before?

"You said you don't know yourself, Yuwol..."

Then I'll tell you who you are.

Only then did Yuwol look at me with an oops expression, as though he had realized his mistake.

"Do you understand a little now... who you are...?"

I felt his grip on my shoulders loosen.

Keeping that position, I cupped his face in both hands.

"I missed you, Yuwol."

My lips touched his.

Our second kiss was hot.

Hoping that my feelings would reach him, the same feelings born from how much I had missed you, how desperately I had searched for you, and how much I had wanted to do for you, we grew closer and shared our affection.

It felt like we'd kissed for quite a while, yet it still wasn't enough.

Silence fell between us after that deep kiss.

Both our faces were red as we caught our breath.

He must have known. There was no point hiding anything from me anymore.

But he stepped away from me and stopped me from coming closer.

Why...?

"I'm sorry... Hero... I'm sorry... but I'm not that person..."

His voice trembled.

"...Yuwol...!"

This wasn't what I wanted to hear. This wasn't why I'd done this, nor was it the result I wanted.

"...Please forget what happened today... And I'm not Yuwol... I'm Sirius..."

"Please... why... why are you running away...?!"

I was desperate. I wanted Yuwol more than anything.

I'd promised myself over and over that if I ever saw him again, I would never let him go.

"...I'll go inside now... From now on... please don't ever pull a prank like that again..."

Leaving me behind, he fled back into his room and hid himself away.

"...Yuwol...!"

I called his name again and again toward the place he'd disappeared.

No... This can't be happening...

I'd never once imagined that when we met again, he would push me away.

Was I the only one of us who had missed the other?

For a moment, I wondered whether he'd really been living happily somewhere I didn't know about.

But his trembling voice lingered in my ears.

It was not the voice of someone happy.

It sounded like he might burst into tears at any moment.

My legs gave out.

I was the Hero. I wasn't supposed to kneel before anything...

I collapsed to the ground and stared at Yuwol's tightly shut window for a long time.

It seemed Yuwol was still hiding so much from me.

The reason he couldn't come to me was probably...

The answer had to lie somewhere in those three years we had been apart.

Yuwol, what on earth happened to you...?

What is keeping you from coming back to me...?

He felt impossibly far away beyond that thin pane of glass.

He was so close, yet I couldn't even touch him.

How much time had passed...?

I got to my feet.

I'd sorted out my thoughts.

I'll give up.

If the reason I can't approach you is because you're not Yuwol.

I'll let go of the child I loved.

But Sirius, I won't give up on you.

No matter what your name is or how much you've changed.

You said it yourself.

I'm the Hero.

That I can do it.

I don't know what you're afraid of.

But I'll pull you out of there.

Yuwol.

It was a night lit by moonlight.

Footnotes:

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