WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR

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◈ SSS-Class Revival Hunter ◈

Chapter 347: The Voyage of the Full Moon (4)

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4.

[The Cat that Bites Gold Coins makes you an offer.]

While speaking to me, the Constellation had also shared details about what had been happening behind the scenes.

What was it? It concerned the judge who would be watching from the 70th-floor lobby at that very moment: the Countess.

The situation the Constellation described was quite surprising.

[The Cat that Bites Gold Coins earnestly requests that you and your judge agree to a reasonable deal.]

As it turned out, the Countess had been bargaining with the Constellation!

Just as the Paladin had received a skill from the God of Snakes, the Countess had obtained a skill from the God of Commerce.

And that God of Commerce was the Constellation that governed the 72nd floor, the Heaven of Gold, known as 'The Cat that Bites Gold Coins.'

'Well, that figures.'

I found it easy to accept.

There were quite a few similarities between the skills held by the Countess and the laws of the Heaven of Gold which were too coincidental to be mere happenstance.

'The Countess can nearly summon any item through bargaining with her skill. The price is up to the trader. Moreover, when the [World Peace] item was purchased, the message [The world was originally peaceful!] appeared...'

In short, a skill that irritates the Countess.

The more the Countess is dissatisfied, the more The Cat that Bites Gold Coins is satisfied. Haven't we seen this scenario quite often? Teasing and provoking like this is actually the essence of the skill.

Meaning…

"…It seems the Countess is quite angry with you."

[The Cat that Bites Gold Coins begs you to do something about it!]

For a long time, a very long and enduring period, the Countess had been using the skills of the God of Commerce.

Each time, she must have been mocked and thoroughly provoked.

Just like when I arrived in the port city of Levanta and faced humiliation right away. No, she must have been subjected to similar antics for years on end.

In short, the current mental state of the Countess wasn't 'Oh, how thankful I am to you, whoever and wherever you may be, for bestowing such a skill upon me.' Rather, it was quite far from it.

Instead, it was closer to 'I didn't know where you lived all this time, but now that I do, it's really good!'

In other words, she had finally encountered her sworn enemy!

[The Cat that Bites Gold Coins weeps since the judge seems ready to extract every last bit of marrow from its bones.]

Of course, the Countess had no intention of letting such an opportunity slip by.

First, the Countess sought a means to contact the God of Commerce. Thanks to the skill, she could purchase anything she desired. And upon searching, she found an item in the product list called [A Phone Call with the God of Commerce].

Bingo.

With an almost infinite array of items, she would never have found it without using the search function.

Oh, and by the way, [Product Search] is also a paid item. It's an essential item that you have to subscribe to on a monthly basis. You can imagine what kind of rip-off the Countess had been under all these years.

『Hello.』

The Countess spent a fortune to make the call.

『Yes. This is the Cat with a Grin Trading Company, here to stuff gold coins into your mouth. Who may be calling?』

『I am a merchant known as the Countess of the Lion World. I received a skill in my youth and prospered, but looking at it now, it seems you created that skill.』

The Countess had roughly guessed the situation the moment she was summoned as a judge. And right when I was being fooled, she grasped the entire truth. Her skill, the laws of the Heaven of Gold, the similarities between the two, and so on.

And so, she realized that her skill must have originated from the master of the Heaven of Gold.

『Is that so? What's the name of the skill?』

『Cat's General Store.』

『Ah, yes. That's a skill we developed and distributed.』

Her realization was correct.

『Currently, the customer who has called... Oh my, look at the points accumulated! Such a valuable customer. You've always used the services of the Cat with a Grin General Store. Are you calling to express your gratitude for our services?』

『Oh. Certainly. I feel a tremendous gratitude towards you.』

『No need to mention it! By the way, the phone call item you're currently using is charged by the minute. The first minute is free. After that, a separate call charge applies per minute. Please understand.』

The Countess warned leisurely.

『The King of Death has gone to the world you rule.』

『What?』

『I am the judge who will decide whether the King of Death passes or fails. In other words, whether the King of Death will be stuck in your world forever is entirely up to me.』

『Excuse me, but I'm not quite sure what you mean....』

『Oh, don't worry. You'll find out soon enough.』

Click.

The Countess hung up without a moment's hesitation.

At this point, I was haunting the alleys. Sinisterly. Writhing in abject hunger. Not long afterward, I entered the antique shop and did what I could.

The Countess was lying on a sofa, munching on potato chips. It was around that time that a phone appeared out of thin air and rang.

『Countess speaking.』

『Hello, customer. We've verified the information you provided. We truly appreciate you informing us in advance before we could contact you.』

『It's what I paid for.』

『Ah, customer. We've decided to refund the cost incurred for purchasing the phone call item. We'll also cover any additional charges. We sincerely apologize for not being able to anticipate your needs in advance.』

In a short time, the God of Commerce's tone became quite polite.

『So, I assume you're calling because you want to negotiate about the stage clearance of this King of Death, correct?』

『You're getting to the point. That's good.』

『What would you like in return?』

『You're getting to the point, but it's not quite the tempo I want yet.』

『Excuse me?』

『Let's talk again a bit later.』

The Countess ended the call.

At this point, after swallowing up the antique shop, I was sweeping through the streets. My elegant progress resembled the Pied Piper marching majestically at the head of a horde of tiny mice. The difference was that these mice fought among themselves, and instead of leaping into a river, they challenged one another to character-deletion duels. Those character-deletion duels spread beyond the street and became a citywide craze in moments.

Ring-ring!

『Countess speaking.』

『If we've ever upset you or been inadvertently rude while you were using our services, we sincerely apologize, customer.』

The representative's voice was urgent.

『We're currently looking for the manager as quickly as possible. The employee responsible for serving you will be immediately transferred, and we'll comply with any other requests you might have.』

『That's quite prompt of you. I appreciate it.』

A potato chip crunched sweetly in the Countess's mouth.

『However, the tempo isn't quite there yet.』

Click.

The citywide craze for character-deletion duels reached its peak at the mayor's residence. The guards erupted into infighting after it was revealed that they had been stealing one another's wages, and the mayor, who rushed outside demanding to know what was happening, was smacked in the back of the head by their lover as the answer to that question. For the sake of the mayoral couple's honor, I will not say what secret I exposed.

Ring-ring-ring!

The phone rang like mad.

『Countess speaking.』

『We were wrong. We're sorry. Please forgive us!』

『Now we're getting somewhere.』

『Currently, the entire staff of our store is prostrating! I'm calling you while bowing, customer! If you doubt it, we can immediately connect a video call!』

Without anyone asking, the phone call upgraded itself to a video call. In the hologram before the Countess, dozens of people... no, dozens of cats were performing grand bows.

For a brief 0.5 seconds, even the Countess was at a loss for words at the adorable yet grotesque scene.

That's right. The God of Commerce was a cat. Not just one cat, but dozens! Dozens of cats working together at the 'Cat with a Grin General Store', that was The Cat that Bites Gold Coins.

However, the Countess wasn't generous enough to forget what these creatures had done even after being charmed by their cute appearances. Her life, tormented by this skill, had been too bitter, like 99.9% cocoa chocolate.

『What a sight. Truly a spectacle. By all means, keep your heads planted there.』

『Meow! Meow! Meow!』

『By now, I expect you have realized that fellow is a lunatic. If gae means "more" and ssang means "even more," then he more than deserves to be called a gae-ssang lunatic. You now understand that whether this supreme lunatic is let loose in the Heaven of Gold forever depends upon my mood.』

At that very moment, the mayor and every resident of the port city had their heads bowed in the square. The cats were performing grand bows. God and subjects alike, highborn and lowborn, had all planted their heads on the ground. It was a truly beautiful sight.

『I guarantee that you do not actually want to discover what will happen if that fellow spends even half a month roaming your world. I, however, very much want to know.』

『Meow...! Meow...! Customer, please have mercy!!』

『First, record this entire conversation in both audio and video and show it to the King of Death. It is said that one should hide one's own shame while spreading another's humiliation far and wide, through every direction, every continent, the inner universe, the outer universe, and even the multiverse, for generations to come. I wish to share this joy and sorrow with my friend.』

Thus I came to watch a 2160p ultra-high-definition holographic recording of a conversation that had taken place while I was absent. This, too, was part of the full story.

『My conditions are simple. Kneel. Plant your heads. If they are already planted, plant them harder. Swear eternal loyalty to me and accept eternal subjugation.』

『M-meow... That is... even so...』

『Of course, I understand your position. The spirit of carrying on with your gums even after your teeth have broken is the essence of human tenacity. I am therefore willing to wait at my leisure until even your gums have been worn away.』

Beyond the hologram, the Countess licked a finger. Her face showed how much she was enjoying the sweet-and-salty crumbs of the potato chips.

『King of Death. I am sorry, but I hereby withdraw my promise to approve your clearance as soon as you landed there.』

Wearing a smile more feline than any cat's, the Countess looked straight ahead, in the direction where I stood.

『I made this decision not only out of personal ambition, but for the benefit of the entire Tower. I trust there is no need to explain how our Tower would profit by subjugating the Grinning Cat Company.』

Uh.

『Perhaps you merely hoped to cause a suitable amount of havoc and refresh yourself, but my view differs somewhat. I would like to teach them a thorough lesson while we have the opportunity. Since you are my friend, I trust you will also show profound interest and affection regarding my personal grudge. Well, to be honest, it does not matter if you have neither interest nor affection. Am I not the one who decides whether you rot there forever? Cooperate if you do not wish to rot.』

This cat...

『If you're going to cooperate anyway, do it with gusto. That's your specialty, isn't it? I've seen the lunacy you unleashed in the port city. But I'm confident your lunacy will cross rivers and seas to shake the world. I hope you continue doing what you've been doing until I achieve a 'satisfactory negotiation'.』

Holograms beyond holograms showed cats bowing. Colorful cats trembled.

『Didn't I say? You're a good friend.』

The Countess smiled nonchalantly.

『Let us ensure that our friendship is passed down through history as an example to others for five thousand years.』

The cats screamed, "Meeeoow!"

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