WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR

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◈ SSS-Class Revival Hunter ◈

Chapter 64: The Great Orthodox-Demonic War (3)

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3.

Despite the world's destruction, the two martial artists didn't cease their war.

This was enough to baffle anyone, but a more shocking scene was unfolding.

It was the way these two were fighting.

"A scholar does not choose his pen, just as a warrior does not choose his sword."

The Heavenly Demon said to the Head of the Martial Alliance.

In her hand, she still held a wooden stick.

"Though I accidentally left my Lethal Demon Blood Sword behind and now hold only this Demonic Switch, I can still send an old geezer like you to his grave with ease."

“Right!”

The Head of the Martial Alliance brandished his stick and declared confidently.

"Let's see who will ultimately unite the martial world!"

Thus, the two warriors collided.

Perhaps 'collided' might be an overstatement.

Their struggle was nothing more than a scuffle, nothing more, nothing less.

"Heavenly Demon's Reigning Steps!"

"Hmpf! Sky Destroying Golden Axe!"

The Heavenly Demon and the Head of the Martial Alliance shouted impressive-sounding names as they clashed. However, just their words were impressive.

What they held in their hands were mere sticks, and the sound they produced as they struck each other was more playful than intense.

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

Soon enough, their sticks broke. Then the Heavenly Demon and the Head of the Martial Alliance lunged at each other, eyes bulging with fury. The Heavenly Demon grabbed the Head of the Martial Alliance's beard, and he, in turn, yanked her hair.

I was speechless.

"This is just..."

A situation beyond words.

While we all stood dumbfounded,

-Well, that's strange.

The Guardian Spirit had an unusual reaction.

-They have the right stances. Those guys.

'What?'

-Their techniques and breathing are spot on. Even in my world, they would be considered top-notch masters.

I looked again at the duel. The Head of the Martial Alliance was attempting to poke the Heavenly Demon's eyes, who hurriedly covered her face with both hands.

'That?'

-Don't you see the principle at work? That eye poke embodies a divine dragon's claw snatching the wish-fulfilling pearl from an evil dragon, so it could be called Double Dragon's Battle for the Orb. That face-covering move embodies the Buddha descended into this world covering the faces of every sentient being one by one, so it could be called Thousand-Form Guanyin...

The Sword Emperor continued with his lengthy explanation.

I raised a hand to stop him.

'But why are they fighting like children in a brawl?'

-That's what's so strange. If their form is that developed, their energy should follow suit, and thus their intent should be full as well, but...

-There is no energy in their movements, no Aura at all, and that is why they look so ridiculous. Even if their dantian had been shattered, they still should not be like this...

As Guardian Spirit shook his head in confusion, I thought of a possible, perhaps the only possible, explanation.

'Sword Emperor, are you just teasing me?'

-Come now, zombie. I am not some mara. I would not joke about something like this.

Guardian Spirit indignantly retorted.

-Damn, can you really not see it? Of all people, you did your secluded training only with Preta, who forced form and intent out using Aura alone. Tsk, tsk. Well, that was exactly the training you needed at the time...

Despite referring to the years I spent fighting the Demon King of Autumn Rain as secluded training, the Sword Emperor was serious.

And someone else became serious too.

"That old man and woman... they are quite skilled."

Viper squinted his eye.

"That bite just now contained the principle of the Earth King Snake, and that sweep of the arm contained the principle of the Tranquil-Crossing Dragon."

-Wow, that fellow might be [the real deal], but a martial artist is still a martial artist. Yes, a bite like a great snake called the Earth King Snake, and a sweep like the Tranquil-Crossing Dragon! See, zombie? Unlike you, he has an eye for this.

I wordlessly opened Viper's psychological window.

The Celestial Martial Clan Master stood with his arms crossed, thinking seriously.

'Analyzing them through the derivative combat paths shown by my [Unrivaled Under Heaven] skill... Yes, I was right. Those movements can be explained as [Reincarnated as a Hellhound [Ji], Cerberus, and assigned to guard the Demon King's [Wang] Castle gate, only to find that the heads beside me were reincarnations of the Troublemaker and Class President, leaving me [Sa]ndwiched between them], and [The high school boy who was the hero of an [On]line game decided, with his childhood friend, a younger classmate who skipped a grade [Wol] and is a popular manga artist, to become a true hero [Yong]]. No doubt about it.'

The Guardian Spirit was at a loss for words.

Unaware of the situation, Apothecary tilted her head in confusion.

"That... just looks like a child’s fight, doesn't it, Guild Master?"

"Damn. If everyone could see it, what would be the difference between a master and a novice? Only someone like me can see such depth."

'Amazing. How many branches does the derivative technique tree have? Those two are way above the Sword Saint. Maybe I'll level up just by watching. I've got something to teach my disciples when I return.'

Hmm.

'Sword Emperor.'

-Yes, zombie...

'What about the technique of Returning to the Origin, like multiple formulas for the same answer? For Viper, it's all about the martial arts perspective.'

-Yeah, thanks...

Fortunately, the bizarre scene did not last long: the Head of the Martial Alliance and the Heavenly Demon were brawling, the Emperor of Light Novels was gaining enlightenment from it, and, strangest of all, I was comforting the Sword Emperor.

"Achoo! I'm freezing to death here!"

The Medicine King suddenly shouted.

"You kids! How long are you going to keep fighting! Don't you see us standing right in front of you? Tsk, tsk, such narrow vision! Just like me when I was young, exactly the same!"

The old blowhard's profound rebuke was of the kind that had made even the Sword Saint flinch.

The Head of the Martial Alliance scratched his head awkwardly.

"Well, since we have guests, indeed, this isn't proper etiquette."

The Heavenly Demon also coughed lightly.

"For now, let me guide you to the cave where I reside."

4.

Soon the clouds dispersed. There was no longer a need for me to illuminate the surroundings with Shiny.

The zombies, now exposed to sunlight, stiffened again, and we safely escaped the snowy field.

"Huu. Huuuuuh..."

"Hack, huff... Hufff...!"

However, the Heavenly Demon and the Head of the Martial Alliance’s poor stamina became a hindrance.

They were not ordinary martial artists but the leaders of the Demonic Cult and the Righteous Faction, the most powerful figures in this world. Even the Sword Emperor and Viper confirmed their martial prowess.

Yet, somehow... both had abysmally low stamina.

They were panting after just a bit of walking in the snow.

"Hm."

Seeing this, I cautiously offered.

"Would you like me to carry you?"

"P-please do. For some reason, I cannot properly circulate my inner cultivation art today."

Eventually, I ended up carrying the Heavenly Demon, and Viper carried the Head of the Martial Alliance.

Viper seriously said.

"King of Death. That's not right."

"Yes?"

"This is how it should be."

This time, Viper carried the Heavenly Demon, and I ended up carrying the Head of the Martial Alliance.

"It looks more fitting this way."

"Yes..."

I agreed to proceed this way, lacking the energy to argue further.

Then it struck me.

'Wait a minute?'

As I was carrying the Head of the Martial Alliance, I felt a peculiar sensation.

'Something's odd.'

The Guardian Spirit tilted his head.

-What's odd?

'It's warm.'

-Huh?

'...His body is incredibly warm. You know how cold it is right now? We'd freeze if we didn’t draw upon our Aura... But this person, his body is warm.'

-......

The Sword Emperor was silent, lost in thought. I followed suit, pondering.

Could they be using their internal energy, their Aura, to keep warm? But, we hadn’t felt any such energy during their battle.

‘This doesn't add up.’

Something was off.

However, unable to pinpoint exactly what, we continued across the snowfield.

"This is my residence."

The Heavenly Demon led us to a cave not far from the snowy plains.

There was a huge hole in the ceiling, allowing the sunset light to pour in brilliantly.

"Wow..."

Apothecary gaped, her eyes sparkling behind her frosted glasses.

"Oh, is that a hot spring?"

Indeed, there was an open-air bath in the cave.

A deep pool formed on the cave floor, with steam rising from its surface. The natural hot spring countered the harsh cold of the winter, creating a comfortably warm environment. With the sunset above and the flowing hot spring below, it was truly a breathtaking sight.

"This is a sanctuary I found long ago."

The Heavenly Demon smiled contentedly.

"I never imagined I would receive strangers from beyond the frontier as guests. Bathe first. The old fossil and I will see whether we can find any food to offer you."

"Eh? Do we have anything to offer besides fasting pills?"

"That's why I’m saying let's search. Old man, have you gone deaf with age?"

"Always calling me old, but there isn’t much age difference between us!"

"Then why don't you undergo a Bone Transformation too?"

The Heavenly Demon and the Head of the Martial Alliance bickered as they disappeared into the cave.

We remained by the hot spring, looking at them with mixed feelings.

"It’s, it's amazing. They were ready to fight to the death just moments ago..."

"They've been fighting for three years. Maybe they've developed a strange bond."

The Medicine King grumbled.

"Still, it's warm and nice here. Eh, it's embarrassing to have been holding men's hands since we got to this world. Now, let’s have some distance, Head of the Celestial Martial Clan."

"Why did the Sword Saint befriend such a man?"

"Hey! Watch your words. It was me who befriended Marcus!"

"Whatever... Birds of a feather, I guess."

So, we took a break in the hot spring.

After our bath, the two martial artists served us food.

"I’m sorry we don’t have much to offer."

"These are fasting pills. Eat your fill."

The Heavenly Demon and the Head of the Martial Alliance had brought out large, round pellets: fasting pills.

They looked like larger versions of a heart-soothing pill.

"I used to find prey like wolves to hunt, but these days, it's hard to find any animals. I don’t even know how the world got to this state."

"No, thank you for your hospitality."

I accepted the plate politely. It had been three years since the world's destruction. It was unlikely to find any real food.

Our group cautiously nibbled at the fasting pills.

"Yuck!"

"Ugh."

Viper and the Medicine King couldn’t hide their disgust. I almost grimaced myself. It tasted like chewing on stale coffee beans, hardly palatable.

"Have you been surviving on these alone?"

The Apothecary picked up a fasting pill and examined it from every angle in fascination.

"Mostly, yes."

"For how long?"

"Hmm."

The Heavenly Demon looked at the cave wall. Countless tally marks shaped like the character 正 had been carved into it. The two of them seemed to have added one stroke per day since taking refuge in the cave.

"It's been over two years just on these."

"Two years..."

Apothecary was speechless. They had been living off these pellets for over two years.

"It's unbelievable. How could you maintain proper nutrition? Without the right balance of carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, and minerals, the human body..."

"Hmm? I don’t understand what you're saying, but we're still holding up."

"I can’t take this anymore!"

The Medicine King stood up abruptly and rummaged through his spatial bag, pulling out a burner, meat, seafood, and other items.

"Move aside, all of you! Tsk, tsk. No wonder you lack the strength to cross a snowfield when you live on this junk. Neglecting your bodies, just like me when I was young. Do you have water?"

"Uh, we melt snow to drink, or when the sun stays out for several days, we drink the spring water flowing in there..."

"This is maddening. The human body is seventy percent water, and you drink that stuff? No wonder you have no answers. You need water that knows the answer!"

The Medicine King lit the burner, took out a bottle of water, and poured it into the pot.

The Apothecary was startled when she saw the bottle.

"Isn't that Bling H2O? That's expensive..."

"What’s expensive about it! I use it for cooking. Back outside the Tower, I wouldn’t even glance at it. Tsk. If it weren’t for Marcus..."

Watching the unexpected cooking scene unfold, the Sword Emperor was puzzled.

-Zombie, what’s Bling H2O?

'Maybe like Evian?'

-What’s Evian? Like Gongcheong Suyu?

'What's Gongcheong Suyu?'

-Extremely expensive water.

Then it must be something similar.

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