WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR
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◈ SSS-Class Revival Hunter ◈
Chapter 93: Falling (3)
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5.
Romance Fantasy Rule 3
"If you want to nurture love between two people, first make them hate each other."
"Hatred is like lightning, affection is like thunder. When blinded by the lightning of hatred, the thunder of affection begins to rumble."
6.
"Are you well?"
On the way to Sormewin Academy.
“Yes, I slept deeply. Were you at peace last night, my fellow student?”
“Thanks to you. I had a good dream, so I'm feeling refreshed. I’m thinking of having two slices of toast for breakfast today."
“Oh, my. I’d love to hear about your dream. How about we have breakfast together?”
“Oh, what a splendid suggestion!”
“Hehe."
The students smiled and exchanged quaint, old-fashioned greetings. Amid the blooming magnolias, cries of "Oh my" and "Hehe" twittered along the white road to school.
Peace. Tranquility.
Even a choir of baby birds couldn't be more peaceful, and a garden full of blooming tulips couldn’t be more tranquil. The mere sight was purifying. Moments as sparkling as diamonds existed here.
“Ah, Lady Goldencup. Are you well?”
And then, the diamond turned out to be nothing more than a pretty piece of coal.
It burns fucking well once lit.
“No! I’m not well at all!”
"Uh."
To the lady who greeted her, the Heretic Inquisitor smiled broadly.
“How could I be? Last night I was almost killed by assassins. Couldn't sleep at all, already feeling wronged, and now you ask if I’m well! Do you even think?”
“Huh?”
“No, of course you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t ask someone who might’ve been killed last night if they are ‘well’. Ahaha. It’s your brain that should be well! Is your skull safe? Is your brain alright?”
“Uh…… eh? What?”
“Ah! Oh dear, perhaps your mouth has twisted because your brain has been resting. It’s all right. I understand! A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. How could your mind be sound when your head is broken? Hurry along to the infirmary. In other words, get out of my sight!”
“……ah, ……ah?”
Staggering.
The lady fainted. Thankfully, her servant caught her, or she would have rolled on the school path. The students, who were politely exchanging morning greetings, screamed.
“Lady Magnolia Alba! Are you okay?!”
“My goodness! She’s too pale…”
“Everyone, hurry and call the nurse!”
“Breathe! Can you hear me?! You need to breathe!”
“Lady Goldencup! What, what did you just say…!”
Chatter erupted.
Peaceful chirping birds flew away, and the tranquil tulip garden was hit by a bomb. The diamond burst into flames. Ladies from noble families, though adept at caring for their fainted peer, couldn’t hide their shock.
The Heretic Inquisitor grinned.
“Why the fuss? I just countered someone’s thoughtless ‘are you well’ with ‘is your head okay’!”
A nearby lady’s mouth twitched.
“Head is…… okay……?”
“Ah. You have beautifully red hair. Is it because your skull cracked and some brain leaked out? Ahaha. Pity if your already lacking intelligence drops further. Better scoop it back in!”
“……,haa……”
Staggering.
“Lady?!”
“Kyaa! Lady Plum Blossom!”
“Where’s the nurse?! Haven’t they arrived yet?!”
“That wage thief!”
“Someone fetch water!”
“Guard! Guard!”
Chaos ensued. A truly apocalyptic scene. The Apocalypse had not been destroyed yet, but at least the road to Sormewin Academy was being cheerfully razed.
“Ahaha.”
Having single-handedly created a disaster zone in a 20-meter radius, the Heretic Inquisitor smiled innocently, despite the dark circles under her eyes from the overnight tutoring.
“King of Death, you're the best! My immersion rate didn’t rise at all!”
You’re amazing too.
The effects of the Flame Emperor’s one-on-one tutoring were phenomenal.
“I’ll trust and follow you completely from now on! King of Death's strategies are always reliable!”
I bent at a properly butler-like angle.
“Thank you for the compliment, Lady.”
“You’re welcome! But is stepping on my foot also part of keeping the immersion rate down? My big toe hurts a bit.”
“To behave like a delinquent butler, it can’t be helped. Bear with it.”
“I understand!”
That morning, 14 ladies were admitted to the academy infirmary.
The incident in front of the girls' dorm quickly spread throughout the school.
The incident was dubbed the "Is Your Head Well?" incident.
7.
Cafeteria, main building, garden.
Everywhere, students whispered about the incident.
“Lady Goldencup has lost her mind.”
“She changed completely after yesterday's attack.”
“She must be possessed by a devil.”
“Two ladies and one gentleman who boldly went to uncover the truth haven’t returned yet.”
“Isn’t she more attractive now?”
“So, who ordered Lady Goldencup's assassination?”
“Sormewin’s unofficial club, the ‘Gathering of All Big Sisters’ Younger Siblings’ (Mo-eon-mo), welcomes the recent change. We call upon our fellow Sormewin students to change their perceptions.”
“Lady Goldencup's butler was seen mixing salt in the tea. Many witnesses.”
“Dangerous.”
“Assassination.”
“His Highness the Crown Prince is handling it.”
“Lost her mind.”
“Going crazy.”
“Proper salt intake, good for health... Salt in tea, a wellness trend?”
“Big Sis Goldencup.”
The rumor snowballed into wild tales.
"Lady Goldencup! You have insulted my master’s honor!”
Despite the transformation into wild tales, the fact that 14 ladies fainted was true. Naturally, their servants were enraged.
Though they dared not confront a noble lady, they could challenge me, an equal servant. By lunchtime, angry servants lined up to confront me.
"For the honor of my master and our family, I cannot stand by. Please allow me to duel with the Lady's servant!”
"Hooh.”
The Heretic Inquisitor nodded.
"Alright! Resolve it amicably among yourselves---."
“Wait a moment.”
I stealthily stepped on the Heretic Inquisitor's foot. She yelped.
“What’s wrong?”
“If you’ve decided to act, stay a delinquent lady to the end. Don’t just accept what others say. That’s not delinquent enough.”
"Ah, indeed. So, how should I act more delinquently?”
"Just follow my lead.”
We exchanged whispers. The servants who had requested the duel looked at us confusedly. Shortly after, the Heretic Inquisitor spoke with an enlightened face.
"Fine! I’ll allow a duel with my servant.”
"Ah, thank you. Then let’s start right here..."
"One condition! If you want to duel, you must pay me!”
The servants blinked in surprise.
"..What?"
"If you want something from me, you have to pay.”
The Heretic Inquisitor sat on a garden bench, crossing her legs. Her face beamed with a forceful presence. If children saw her now, they’d instinctively call her 'sister'.
"My butler belongs to our family. Since I am the only member of the family at this academy, that makes him mine as well. What will you do if my property is injured during the duel? Will you take responsibility?”
“Uh, uhuh……"
The noble servants were bewildered. Pay for a sacred duel? Too thuggish?
“How much should we pay?”
“Five gold coins will do!”
"......."
“Ahaha.”
Following my instructions, the Heretic Inquisitor delivered the last line.
“Everyone. Surely your loyalty to your young ladies isn’t worth less than five gold coins, is it?”
"......."
The servants began to reluctantly take out their gold coins. It was a bit pitiful to watch. Among them, there were some with saddened faces.
The worried expressions about whether paying for a duel in honor of their mistresses was truly honorable. Faces wondering, ‘Is this really the right thing to do?’
But there were no takebacks. Once one or two of them started handing over gold, the rest followed the tide.
“Here, Lady.”
“Yes!"
“Me too..."
“Yes, received!”
“Sorry, I only have silver coins right now. Can I pay with change…?”
“I’ll accept it all!”
The Heretic Inquisitor efficiently extorted the servants. The dignity of a lady bestowed with a title by the Emperor was buried under the jingling sound of coins.
Like master, like servant.
"Hmm."
I also cracked my neck like a gangster.
Over ten servants were awkwardly staring at me.
“Just asking out of curiosity.”
“Wh-what is it?”
I held up my holy sword still in its sheath.
“Has anyone here starved for more than a week?”
Exciting beating sounds echoed in the garden. It felt like drumming a set of drums as I knocked down the servants one by one. I beat them until dust rose around us.
"Ouch!"
“Huh, ack?!”
Many students watched as the servants screamed. Looking around, students gazed at me in horror. Behind me, the Heretic Inquisitor was rolling coins in her hand, humming cheerfully.
Screams, astonishment, and the sound of money.
These three melodies created a perfect trinity.
“S-”
Then, someone hurriedly ran through the crowd of onlooking students.
“Silvia! What on earth is going on here?!”
The man who could be described as the Noodle Hair of this apocalyptic world. The Crown Prince.
The blond Noodle was very flustered. Looking at his puffed-up noodle face, I felt a thrill of satisfaction. Last night, we felt discomfited because of this man, and today we returned the favor.
“I heard rumors that you had suddenly become strange, but I took them for the same malicious nonsense as always. Yet now, against your fellow students, what in the world are you... You!”
The Crown Prince mumbled in confusion and glared at me. Hmm. For ramen broth that someone had already mixed rice into and finished off, his gaze was surprisingly fierce.
“What are you doing! When the master is tired, the servant should do everything to calm them down! To recklessly wield a sword, you’re a third-rate butler and a disqualified servant! Disqualified!”
“My apologies, Your Highness.”
I fastened the sheathed holy sword at my waist and bowed my head.
“I do not seek evaluation from anyone other than my Lady. If my Lady deems me third-rate, then I am a third-rate butler, and if she considers me disqualified, I will step down, but as long as she doesn’t, I remain a faithful butler.”
“You… to cause such trouble and still have the audacity to…”
The Crown Prince twitched his lips, then closed his mouth. He probably thought it was useless to talk with a servant like me.
“Silvia. Haven’t I repeatedly told you? You shouldn’t keep such a man as a butler. The imperial palace has several eunuch candidates who have been trained with great care. If I ask His Majesty, I can bring one of them for you. Don’t worry! His Majesty already holds you in high regard.”
Wow.
The onlooking students let out soft gasps. Ladies with smitten faces were seen here and there. The Crown Prince had just expressed his affection too transparently.
The ladies sighed dreamily and whispered among themselves.
“What should we do? The Crown Prince is engaged to Lady Silver Lily…”
“But their betrothal was arranged before either of them was even born, wasn’t it? It’s such an old story. And it has long been rumored that His Majesty dotes on Lady Goldencup, so perhaps…”
“Ah, what should we do!”
As they fretted, the ladies' eyes sparkled.
Nothing was hotter than a royal romance.
Their own diamonds burning would be a pity, but watching someone else's, especially the most splendid diamond of the empire, burn up would be worth a fortune.
“Silvia, what do you think?”
The Crown Prince approached and grabbed the Heretic Inquisitor's wrist.
“Will you grant my earnest request?”
The Heretic Inquisitor looked at the Crown Prince.
At this moment, I also tensed.
Would the [female protagonist] Lady Goldencup's love flare up more fiercely, or would the Heretic Inquisitor's self, acting as [the delinquent lady], prevail? I had done my best to strengthen the latter, but ultimately, the one fighting the battle within her own heart was the Heretic Inquisitor.
We could lose this gamble.
“…Your Highness.”
The Heretic Inquisitor slowly opened her lips.
“What perfume did you wear today?”
“What?”
“I apologize for mentioning, but it’s a rather unfamiliar scent to me.”
The Heretic Inquisitor's face brightened with a radiant smile.
Swish.
Naturally releasing her wrist from the Crown Prince's grip, she unfolded her fan and smiled coyly behind it.
“Have the culprits behind last night's attack on me been identified?”
“Ah, no… not yet, the investigation is ongoing.”
“If my butler hadn’t been with me last night, I might have been harmed! If Your Highness cares for me, please respect my butler as much. Didn’t he protect my life and uphold the academy's honor?”
"......."
“Your Highness. I trust my butler the most!”
It was the moment the Noodle's face boiled over.
And the Heretic Inquisitor laughed behind her fully spread fan.
“O-hohohohot!!”
It was the most romantic laugh in the world.
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