WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Alyo

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Surviving Among the Anomalies ◈

Chapter 27: The Most Convenient, Simple, Fantastic, and Truly Fair Contract for You, Allowing You to Freely Use the Power of God

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After returning with the autograph, the Avatar’s actions became a little flashier than before.

『Guys! Ladies! Hello! Today, I’m using magic to delete a building and restore it afterward! What happens to the people inside? Of course they’ll be safe, so don’t worry!』

Before, he had only used magic inside his room. Now, he openly broadcast himself using it in crowded places.

『The magic I’ll use this time is flying magic! But flying around alone isn’t fun, right? I’m looking for one volunteer!』

『M-Me!』

As if he wanted to prove through actions rather than words that he was using real magic, not tricks, he encouraged passersby and spectators to take part, making it all seem more real.

『Waaah!』

『Ha ha! How does it feel to fly above the clouds!?』

People’s reactions varied.

[BJ Constellation, are you actually a wizard?]

[Did you perhaps defeat the Demon King in an Otherworld and return as a hero?]

[Hmm, this doesn’t seem like CG. Other people are joining in live, and their reactions are real.]

A small number of people wondered whether he might truly be a wizard.

[The post above is dumb as hell. Hey, he’s really a wizard? Then what was that thing about deleting a supernova? Would magic like that even exist! That’s not magic, that’s a god!]

[LOL, a wizard who can even delete supernovas ^^ The power creep is completely fucked.]

[David Copperfield did plenty of audience-participation magic too. In reality, they were all planted. He even did a trick where he made a building disappear, but it was a set prepared in advance.]

Most people still thought he was a magician.

『Guys! Ladies! Good news! I’ve decided to appear on Cholsakman’s broadcast!』

Then the story I had seen in The World Beyond the Right Eye began.

『Tomorrow, Saturday at 7 PM! Please make sure to watch the live broadcast! Huh? What’s the topic? Of course, it’s a broadcast to verify whether I’m a real wizard or not! Hehe!』

It was the broadcast where the Constellation and Avatar would be acknowledged as real.

‘That broadcast is the turning point.’

The moment myths and delusions became reality, the Avatar and Constellation would be worshipped by everyone.

‘I’ll have to stop that from happening.’

Just then, a delivery arrived.

「Optical Microscope」

“It’s finally here.”

After setting up the microscope, I took out the Anomaly I had prepared.

“The Most Convenient, Simple, Fantastic, and Truly Fair Contract for You, Allowing You to Freely Use the Power of God.”

＊＊＊

I opened the neat parchment scroll.

[Hello! You who have obtained this contract are the luckiest person alive! This contract is none other than the Most Convenient, Simple, Fantastic, and Truly Fair Contract for You, Allowing You to Freely Use the Power of God!]

The next paragraph plainly explained what it could do, without any flowery language.

[This contract can do anything! Do you want to create something? Create it! Do you want to kill someone? Kill them! Do you want to know the secrets of the world? Find them out! Do you want to control others like puppets? Control them! With this contract, you can become a god and do whatever you wish!]

What came next made even less sense.

[In truth, it is only called a contract. You do not need to make any separate agreement! Run wild to your heart’s content! From this moment on, you are a god! The instant you obtain this contract, you obtain the fortune of becoming a god! Now, enjoy it! The power of a god! Your future is bright!]

I read the next paragraph.

[If you want to use the contract, simply hold it in your hand and think, “I want to use it!” Does it twist your wishes like a monkey’s paw? Not at all! Does it grant something you thought of incorrectly? Absolutely not! Truly, genuinely, everything from control to abilities is the power of a god!]

I read the final paragraph.

[Then, have a pleasant time!]

I carefully examined the bottom of the parchment through the microscope.

‘Except for a few Anomalies, no Anomaly works on a Constellation or Avatar.’

The part I was looking for was so small that I could not find it at once.

‘The Otherworld Transfer Form wouldn’t work either, and it would be the same with many other Anomalies. But this can be exploited.’

For hours, I kept examining the bottom of the parchment.

‘The Constellation is like a child. A preschooler who craves attention like an elementary schooler. The Avatar also dreams of becoming an internet broadcaster and wants people’s attention.’

I stayed up all night.

‘Also, from what I saw in The World Beyond the Right Eye, the Constellation can feel people’s emotions. It enjoys feelings of worship and affection, but deeply dislikes feelings of disgust and hatred.’

Around sunrise.

‘According to Golden Omnipotence Corporation, the Constellation easily gives up and runs away. There was a precedent for using this to stop an Avatar before it could grow. But since they said it was too late, it seems this needs to be done within five days of its descent, before the Avatar becomes superhuman.’

At last, I found it.

‘Few Anomalies can affect the Avatar, but this is one of them. From now on, I’ll use this to drive away the Constellation.’

Through the scope, I read the micrometer-sized terms and conditions.

[Precautions]

[The above terms apply only to the trial version.]

[If even one of the conditions below is met, the trial period will end.]

[Creation: 1 g or more.]

[Control: Language must be at least eleven syllables based on the controlled person’s language. Thoughts: once. Actions: 10 m or three seconds or more.]

[Destruction: 1 kg or more, or one life.]

[Movement: 10 m or three seconds or more.]

[Other conditions: Use for three seconds or more.]

[If you use, or are using, this contract after the trial period has ended, a contract will automatically be formed and payment will also be transferred automatically.]

[The price of the contract is the user’s soul, and the payment made will permanently belong to Lucifer Company.]

[Beings whose souls belong to Lucifer Company will immediately be moved to 「Dimension No. 666-6666-666」. The contractor must obey the orders of our dispatched personnel there, and our company bears no responsibility for anything that occurs in the event of disobedience.]

“Just as I remembered.”

I had worried the contract terms might have changed from the wiki, but they were the same.

“I’ll use this now.”

To prepare for any possibility, I got a good night’s sleep. One mistake, and my soul would be taken as collateral. Everything would be over.

‘A soul... What exactly is a soul?’

Like with Shin Yeong-mun, I was curious about what the Anomalies specifically meant when they spoke of souls.

“Phew.”

After resting well, I washed up. I ate dinner, and after waiting a little, only ten minutes remained before BJ Constellation’s appearance on the broadcast.

‘This is interesting.’

While waiting for the broadcast, I thought about what was about to happen.

‘It’s a real stroke of luck that the Constellation chose Korea.’

Choosing Korea, a Korean, and an internet broadcaster who constantly kept an eye on public opinion online was a gift from heaven.

『Hello, this is Cholsakman. Today, I’ve invited a guest.』

Had it been America, China, or Russia, this method might not have worked so well.

『The very person who has been setting the internet ablaze lately! BJ Constellation!』

Even so, there was only about a fifty percent chance this would work. It wasn’t certain, but it was worth trying.

『Come on out!』

BJ Constellation appeared.

『Guys!』

I held the contract and activated its power. I could use the power of a god more naturally than breathing, as though it had been mine from the start.

『Ladies!』

Through the screen, I made BJ Constellation, no, Hyeong Si-yeol, say a single sentence.

『Nice to meet you, igiyah!』

The broadcast exploded.

＊＊＊

[????????]

[Excuse me??????]

[What did you say?????]

The chat surged wildly. At first, viewers doubted what they had heard, but once they realized they had not misheard, the chat went out of control.

[He was an Ilbe freak?]

[There are still crazy Ilbe freaks around?]

[Wow, this is disgusting. Did he spend all this time stirring things up just to do this?]

There were twenty thousand viewers. The number continued to rise in real time.

[Cholsakman is fucked, LOL. He invited an Ilbe freak as a guest.]

[Didn’t Ilbe die out?]

[Ilbe is eleventh in Korea’s community traffic rankings. There are still a shitload of Ilbe freaks.]

The host’s flustered expression was obvious. Hyeong Si-yeol was the same, but he stammered and could not properly explain himself.

“C-Con... BJ Constellation? You said, ‘Nice to meet you, that’s what I meant,’ right?”

“Uh, uh... Th-That’s...”

As he froze in panic, the chat filled with messages.

[Gay, are you ashamed of us?]

[Why can’t you say that you use Ilbe!]

[Don’t be ashamed of us, igiyah!]

There likely were no real Ilbe users among them. Most were only copying community slang they had picked up while using the internet, but they fueled the controversy and sent Hyeong Si-yeol plunging into the abyss.

[This is fucking disgusting. I wish all those insect bastards would just die.]

[Why act like an insect on someone else’s broadcast when you could do that on your own???]

[Why else? He wants Cholsakman’s broadcast to fail.]

[Insects only ever hurt other people.]

More viewers continued to flood in, and the count exceeded fifty thousand.

[I-I’ll explain! What I just said was m...]

The broadcast cut off.

＊＊＊

‘That worked well.’

Things went more easily than expected. An Ilbe reveal during a live broadcast by a YouTuber with 2.6 million subscribers was apparently unprecedented, and every internet community was already filled with posts about Hyeong Si-yeol.

[BJ Constellation’s ‘igiyah!’ controversy. Did he mispronounce ‘that’s what I meant’? I saved a recording!]

[“That’s what I meant,” my ass. LOL, it was definitely igiyah. LOL.]

[Wow, Ilbe freaks are everywhere and nowhere at once.]

If he had been even a little calmer, he would have responded. But I had expected that possibility to be low.

‘The moment malice gathered around him, the Constellation would have thrown a fit.’

Internet users rushed toward issues faster than anyone, and they also enjoyed soaking their brains in dopamine through the downfall of celebrities. I had expected this incident to gain traction by the second, and it did.

‘Or maybe he was simply that startled.’

Whatever the truth, the plan had worked, and every kind of malice was directed at him.

[I searched BJ Constellation’s Latin-character username. I think this is a post he wrote on Ilbe. The usernames are the same!]

└[Wow, what the hell, “I want to fuck lolis”? He was a crazy pedophile bastard.]

└[Seriously, that’s fucking disgusting...]

Hyeong Si-yeol did not actually use Ilbe. Looking closely at the text, the screenshot that had been uploaded was a carefully edited Photoshop composite.

[I went to high school with BJ Constellation.]

[He was a complete thug in school too. He constantly bullied kids and extorted money from them. Skipping class and smoking were everyday things for him, and if there was someone he did not like, he locked them in the bathroom, sprayed them with water, and pissed on them. Kim XX, you lived like trash back then, and now you live like an insect.]

└[Wow, he was complete trash.]

└[All trash who bully people at school should die.]

Hyeong Si-yeol was not even named Kim.

“A sacrifice.”

In ancient Greece, there was a custom of choosing the ugliest person in a village, beating them, and driving them out. It meant making that person bear all the village’s misfortune before casting them out. Hyeong Si-yeol was no different.

“They load all of society’s stress onto Hyeong Si-yeol and offer him up as a burnt sacrifice.”

The blazing fire became dopamine and sublimated into pleasure, allowing them to live the day feeling fulfilled.

‘More importantly, I need to find out whether the Constellation has left.’

How could I tell?

[Isn’t this BJ Constellation?]

Then someone uploaded a video to a community site.

『Waaah! Constellation! Where did you go! Come back! I can explain everything! Really! Waaah!』

Hyeong Si-yeol ran down an alley, wailing. He must have fallen several times, because his clothes were torn and blood flowed from his scraped elbows and knees.

[He isn’t hurt even when a supernova explodes, but falling hurts!]

[See? I told you it was all fake. LOL.]

The Constellation had left. Earth was safe now.

『Constellation! Please! Sob!』

“Hmm.”

I had done it to prevent destruction, but I did feel sorry for Hyeong Si-yeol. I should help him.

“There’s that one.”

I thought of an Anomaly.

“Should I go to Golden Omnipotence Corporation, or find the Mysterious Merchant?”

Perhaps there was an Anomaly that could solve Hyeong Si-yeol’s situation.

Footnotes:

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