WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Alyo

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Surviving Among the Anomalies ◈

Chapter 28: The Ticket That Grants Wishes

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Hyeong Si-yeol’s problem could not be solved through ordinary means. I had no power to erase only the parts of people’s memories I wanted, so I needed an Anomaly to help him.

“It’s good to see you again. It seems the matter with the Constellation was resolved.”

At the moment, the Mysterious Merchant was the only source from which I could obtain such an item. Golden Omnipotence Corporation only revealed Anomalies’ locations, could only be used once a month, and I had visited recently, so I could not go there now.

“Yes, it was a close call.”

On the other hand, the Mysterious Merchant could take the scam contract I would no longer use, and there was a chance that she possessed the Anomaly I wanted. For now, she was the best option.

“But your appearance has changed.”

Just as during my first visit, she had an entirely monstrous form whose gender could not be determined apart from her voice.

“Hehe, why do you think that is?”

“I have an idea.”

The only difference from before was whether I had entered with an ordinary invitation or a splendid invitation.

“Just so you know, it is not only my appearance that changes. The items I trade change as well.”

“How can I raise the invitation’s grade?”

“You need only satisfy me through our trades.”

“That doesn’t sound difficult.”

“It isn’t.”

What kind of Anomalies would a higher-grade merchant sell? How would her appearance change, and would anything else be different?

“I think I’ll enjoy our future transactions.”

“I’m pleased that you’re looking forward to them. What trade have you come for today?”

“There are several things I need. Only one of them would be enough, so please appraise this first.”

I placed The Most Convenient, Simple, Fantastic, and Truly Fair Contract for You, Allowing You to Freely Use the Power of God on the table. Six hands unfolded the contract, and her narrow eyes instantly expanded to examine it like magnifying glasses.

“Ah! Lucifer Company! The most vicious, unscrupulous, and illegal merchants in all dimensions! This is one of the bait products they scatter about! It is even more astonishing that the contract was not consumed despite having been used once!”

“Is that so?”

“Yes! It happens occasionally, but it is extremely rare. Its rarity means you can trade it for a good Anomaly. What Anomaly would you like? If you do not know its name, tell me its abilities. I will bring you a suitable Anomaly.”

Good. I might be able to get something valuable.

“Do you have The One Remaining Monkey’s Paw?”

“Unfortunately, I do not. Even if I did, this would not be enough to trade for it.”

“Then do you have a Wish-Granting Ticket?”

“Ah! I do! Its value is just right as well! Please wait a moment.”

The merchant entered the wooden door at the back. A small commotion came from inside, and shortly afterward, she returned holding something like a checkbook.

“Here it is.”

The difference was that these were not checks, but tickets on which something could be written.

“How many are there?”

“There are two Golden Tickets and six ordinary tickets.”

“Good.”

“Very good.”

After receiving the Wish-Granting Ticket, I had tea with her.

“Please be careful in the future.”

“What do you mean?”

“You did not use Lucifer Company’s contract to its full extent. They are immoral merchants, but they are also craftsmen who take great pride in their products. They may visit Lee Seung-hoon with another item.”

“Can you tell me more about them?”

“I would like to, but I fear they may come to complain. I’m sorry.”

They were capable of creating an Anomaly that could even control a Constellation’s Avatar. I understood how the merchant felt.

“I hope our next trade is a good one as well. Goodbye.”

“I’ll bring you something good.”

Perhaps she had been quite satisfied with this transaction, because I received a splendid invitation.

‘I can just pass this to Hyeong Si-yeol naturally.’

One Golden Ticket should be enough to resolve his current situation.

‘How can I give it to him naturally?’

There was no need to think about it.

“Um, is this Fixer Lee Seung-hoon’s office?”

＊＊＊

“You don’t need to be nervous. Please sit comfortably and wait.”

“Ah, yes.”

“Do you like black tea? Or coffee?”

“Yes, coffee…”

Hyeong Si-yeol awkwardly sat in a chair. His eyes trembled without pause.

‘Will he really solve it?’

His face was haggard. Since the incident, every time he closed his eyes, posts mocking him on online communities kept appearing in his mind. People had fabricated things he had never done and spread them around as though they were true. He felt like he would develop a stress-induced illness.

‘Ugh, I should’ve gotten some proper sleep. What happened to my face?’

Since that day, he had slept only eight hours in total. More than a week had passed, yet he had slept so little that he felt ready to collapse at any moment.

‘Constellation…’

If the Constellation were still here, he would not be this exhausted. Even now, he did not understand why he had said that back then.

[Waaah! People’s malice! Th-This isn’t what a hero does! Waaah! I’m not doing this!]

Of all things, he had exposed himself as an Ilbe user with a phrase, not even a curse. He wanted to use being from Gyeongsang Province as an excuse, but he had revealed during a past broadcast that he was a Seoul native, so even that was impossible.

‘Can even a Fixer solve this?’

What Hyeong Si-yeol wanted was for people to stop calling him an Ilbe user and insulting him online. The incident had grown too large. He would probably be mocked forever.

‘Still, he’s a Fixer. He’ll do something, won’t he?’

Bored and curious about the Fixer’s office, he looked around at the various things inside.

“Wow, a seven-headed snake?”

As expected of a Fixer, even the office interior was unusual.

-Quack!

“Eek!”

Startled, he looked around. Something was watching him from the shelf directly behind him.

‘A duck doll?’

The rubber duck that looked perfect for a bathtub had an expression that somehow seemed mocking and confident at the same time.

‘A duck doll that quacks by itself? Is there a machine inside?’

He looked closely, but it did not seem to contain any mechanical parts.

“Huh?”

He put the duck doll back in its place and turned around. A book that had not been there before lay open on the desk.

“A book?”

Drawn by a mysterious feeling, he read the open pages.

[Massive Otherworld Transfer Sale for You Who Find Real Life Miserable! The Boss Has Gone Crazy! Leave for the Otherworld right now, and your chances go UP! UP! UP! You have a 20% chance of winning a soft, squishy, happy-happy Otherworld!]

[You will receive two somewhat useful abilities!]

[Leave right away! Just sign the contract, and you can depart immediately!]

[[Seal] <- Press any finger firmly for three seconds or longer.]

Medieval fantasy? What was this supposed to mean? Was it saying it would reincarnate him into an Otherworld or something? As he stared at the book, Lee Seung-hoon returned.

“Did you enjoy looking around?”

“Huh? Ah, hahaha, well…”

He tried to excuse himself by saying that he had not meant to look at the book, but it had already vanished.

“Let’s discuss the matter now.”

“…Ah, yes.”

While drinking coffee, he frankly explained his situation.

“Um, have we met somewhere before?”

“Perhaps you saw me at your first fan meeting.”

Lee Seung-hoon held out a piece of paper. Hyeong Si-yeol’s autograph was written on it.

“Ah! You were there!”

“Yes, that was me.”

Wow, no way! Fixer Lee Seung-hoon had been his fan!

“I heard your concerns. This will be very easy to solve.”

“R-Really!? How much will it cost?”

As expected of a Fixer. He would probably manipulate online public opinion or create false information to save him. It would take many people and a great deal of work, so Hyeong Si-yeol had expected it to cost a lot. Yet Lee Seung-hoon shook his head.

“I’ll do it for free. I’m a fan.”

“Ah, ah! Thank you!”

Lee Seung-hoon held out the checkbook to the grateful Hyeong Si-yeol.

“This is a Wish-Granting Ticket. Any wish written on it will certainly come true.”

“Huh? R-Really?”

It sounded absurd, but Hyeong Si-yeol considered it.

There was a Constellation, so could there not also be a ticket that granted wishes?

Besides, this was Fixer Lee Seung-hoon. It was possible that he had something like this.

“Still, it will not simply grant whatever you desire like a god would.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you know the Monkey’s Paw?”

Hyeong Si-yeol nodded. With fifteen years of online community experience, of course he knew the story.

“The Monkey’s Paw grants wishes, but it twists them and leads its user to ruin, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s right. This is similar to the Monkey’s Paw.”

“Then shouldn’t I avoid using it?”

“Unlike the Monkey’s Paw, it is kinder and more considerate. I’ll show you.”

Lee Seung-hoon tore an ordinary ticket from the book. He put pen to it and wrote a single line.

[I want sheep.]

At that moment, someone came to Lee Seung-hoon’s office.

“Hello. Hehe, I’m the owner of the lamb restaurant that just moved into this building. I brought lamb as a housewarming gift and came by so you could try it.”

“It sounds delicious. I hope your restaurant prospers.”

“Oh, aren’t you Fixer Lee Seung-hoon? Wow, I never thought I’d be in the same building as you!”

Having recognized Lee Seung-hoon, the owner said they should get along in the future and brought additional lamb that was practically a bribe. Altogether, it looked like roughly the meat from one young sheep.

“You see? That is how it works.”

“…Does it really grant any wish?”

“It does not grant everything. The way it fulfills a wish differs greatly depending on its scale. For example, if you write that you want to become a god, you will only become one in a dream. Nothing will change in reality.”

“Ah.”

“Still, higher-grade tickets have greater limits on the wishes they can properly fulfill.”

“You mean those Golden Tickets?”

“You understand quickly.”

Lee Seung-hoon tore off a Golden Ticket.

“There are ordinary, Golden, and platinum ticket grades. I have two Golden Tickets. I will give one of them to you, Hyeong Si-yeol.”

“If it is a Golden Ticket… will it grant my wish?”

“Of course. Higher-grade tickets even tend to fulfill wishes in ways that benefit the person making them, so it will definitely grant yours.”

“Can you really give something this valuable to me?”

“Of course I can.”

Lee Seung-hoon held out the Golden Ticket.

“I am one of the people who wants you to do well.”

＊＊＊

“A Golden Ticket…”

On his way home with the ticket, Hyeong Si-yeol considered what to write.

‘Should I write that I want the Constellation to come back?’

His old self would have scoffed and thrown something like this away. Yet after meeting the Constellation and experiencing a small part of the world’s hidden side, and because the other person was Fixer Lee Seung-hoon, he thought about it seriously.

‘No. He said there were limits to the wishes it can grant. Golden was the middle grade, right? It isn’t even platinum. There’s no way a middle-grade ticket can bring back the Constellation.’

As he passed through a park, he took out the pen in his pocket. He had carried it around so that he could sign autographs on the street once he became famous through the Constellation.

“Let’s not be too greedy.”

He wrote his wish on the Golden Ticket.

[Please make people like me. Both online and in real life!]

Once he had written it, he worried that it was too broad.

‘He said it would grant wishes in a good direction, so it should be fi…’

At that moment, the world spun. By the time he came to his senses, overwhelming pain crushed his entire body so fiercely that he could not even scream.

“Dr. Janus! I can’t live like this! You hit someone!”

“Good grief, this has become troublesome.”

“Doctor, you’re speaking Japanese right now.”

“Oh dear, the impact must have turned off the automatic translation function. Can you understand me now?”

“This is why I told you to stop experimenting on yourself!”

“But there is nothing easier, faster, or more enjoyable than experimenting on oneself, is there?”

What was going on? He had wished for people to like him. Why had he been in a traffic accident in the middle of a park?

“Ugh, I should have stopped you somehow…”

“The Ultimate Racer Pill is a failure. I cannot beat the Fantasy Racer of Jongno 3-ga with this!”

“Who is that supposed to be? Anyway, what are you going to do now? You hit someone. Are you just going to leave them here?”

“Assistant, I am a doctor. I may also invent things, but healing people is my duty. How could I leave them like this?”

Through his blurry vision, he saw the silhouettes of a short person and a tall person. The rising sun behind them obscured their details, but the racing car they had arrived in was perfectly clear.

“Then shall we head back right away?”

“Assistant, investigate this friend’s identity and dispose of it all.”

“Haah, you’re planning another extreme modification.”

“Extreme modification? Call it a gift. This friend nearly died because of my mistake, so should I not give a gift?”

“Yes, yes. I’ll erase the identity immediately, then give them a new one once the surgery is finished.”

Even the words engraved on the front of the racing car were clear.

[Dr. Janus]

“Now, let us begin the surgery.”

He remembered nothing after that. Whenever he occasionally regained consciousness, he heard sounds like drills and saw blades that belonged in an operating room.

“What did you say this friend’s occupation was?”

“An internet broadcaster. There is some controversy around him, though.”

“Everyone has controversies. Even me!”

“You have far too much controversy, Doctor.”

“Then we should make a body suited to an internet broadcaster, yes? A broadcaster should be good at games, so we should alter the brain a little too.”

He heard them talking each time, but he could not remember much because sleep kept overwhelming him.

“Should we improve his drawing skills while we are at it? I looked it up, and there are lots of broadcasts where people draw too.”

“Assistant, excellent suggestion! Accepted!”

“But wasn’t he originally male?”

“Haha, Assistant, internet broadcasters can become more popular when they are female! I do not watch many internet broadcasts, but even I know that much!”

“Hmm, well, is that okay?”

The process was painful at first, but gradually became comfortable.

“Oh! I accidentally altered the wrong part of the brain.”

“Why? Is it serious?”

“It is not serious. He may only be able to say one word now. His intelligence has also fallen by about twenty points.”

“He can still write normally, right? Then he can communicate through writing, and an intelligence of eighty should be enough to live like a person.”

“It is eighty-three. Still, should I not fix it?”

“It will take too long. I want to get off work early. Just finish it here.”

“As expected, our assistant is the most MZ of all MZs.”

“I’m older than you, Doctor.”

Then he dreamed.

『My dear Hyeong Si-yeol, this is not a dream. It is a message I am leaving for you. From now on, you will receive people’s love. Both online and in real life! Because I, Dr. Janus, have made you into such a body!』

It was difficult to tell whether it was a dream or not.

『For your information, I disposed of your original identity. No need to thank me. You were receiving all sorts of hatred from people, so would it not be better to start over with a new identity? My assistant has created a new identity and residence for you, so begin your new life now!』

Then he awoke with one final message.

『There are slight issues with your language and intelligence, but I trust you will overcome something like that. Goodbye!』

“Ddyuttyai!”

Hyeong Si-yeol sat up in a cold sweat and muttered to himself.

“Ddyuttya…”

That had been a horrible dream. Had getting into an accident been a dream too?

“Ddyuttya?”

His entire body was sticky with sweat, so he got out of bed to wash himself.

“Ddyuttya…!”

But where was this? This was not his home. The large, luxurious room and living room, along with the Han River visible beyond the balcony, made kidnapping the first thing that came to mind.

‘But why do I keep hearing that weird sound?’

Was it his imagination that he could hear a little girl making some strange ddyu-whatever sound?

‘Huh?’

Then he noticed an identification card on the living room table.

「Lee So-hee」

There was a note directly beneath it.

[This is your new identity. -Dr. Janus]

Only then did Hyeong Si-yeol remember the dream and rush into the bathroom. In the bathroom mirror stood a young girl with silver hair and red eyes.

“Ddyu…”

He, no, the girl screamed.

“Ddyuttyaaaaaaaa!”

Footnotes:

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