WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Alyo

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Surviving Among the Anomalies ◈

Chapter 29: Gluttony

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Two weeks had passed since the Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation incident ended. The threat of destruction had been averted, and people went about their daily lives without even knowing such a crisis had existed.

[So where did that Ilbe prick Constellation go?]

[Who knows? Haven't heard anything since he ran around like a lunatic and did all kinds of crazy shit last time.]

[Hey, hey! That Ilbe prick Constellation's streaming account and YouTube channel got nuked lol.]

[This is right. This is justice.]

The issue involving Hyeong Si-yeol had also been resolved. Or rather, it probably had been.

[Ah, boring! Why isn't that Ilbe prick Constellation making excuses? Throw more fuel on the fire!]

[That awesome event ended already, fuck.]

Other communities had already stopped discussing Hyeong Si-yeol. Only internet broadcasting communities continued to mention him, but even those had lost interest, and new topics had taken over to keep the communities active.

[This streamer is fucking hilarious lol. They can only say Ddyuttyattya and Ddyuttyai, so why are they so funny lol?]

[Oh, BJ Ddyuttyai? The voice sounds like a girl, so it must be a voice mod, right?]

└[Obviously it's a voice mod. What girl in the world can clear Dark Souls without taking a hit?]

[Fucking good at games. Someone should ask them to play League sometime soon.]

[But the gimmick seems stupid as hell. Is it a low-intelligence gimmick? The gameplay is good, but sometimes what it does really makes it seem genuinely low-intelligence.]

└[Ddyuttyai~!]

Anyway, Hyeong Si-yeol was no longer brought up. Since I had given him a Golden Ticket, things must have worked out regardless of what wish he wrote down.

“Mr. Fixer! Thank you so much! Thanks to you, things are good between me and my girlfriend again!”

“That's fortunate.”

Of the remaining tickets, I gave the ordinary tickets to customers who came to see me.

“But after using the ticket, um, how should I put this? My tastes changed a little. Is that okay?”

“Your tastes changed?”

“Uh, I guess I started liking being hit by women? And my girlfriend started liking to hit people.”

“That is an entirely ordinary preference. Masochism and sadism are common paraphilias, and studies have shown that all humans possess both tendencies to some extent.”

Before handing out the tickets, I had given several warnings.

“I wished for a permanent job, and my sibling's kid gave me a name tag that says 「Home Security Guard」.”

“I wrote that I wanted one hundred billion won, then someone scattered Blue Marble money in front of my house. Two hundred thousand Seed Bank notes worth five hundred thousand won each.”

“I wished to become the smartest and most handsome person in the world, and then I got a letter. It said, 「In your parents' eyes, you are the greatest genius and most handsome man in the world.」 They're mocking me, right?”

I had told them several times that excessive wishes would not come true, that they should make realistic and modest wishes, and that they had to be specific. Most people did not listen.

“Aaargh! I wrote that I didn't want to worry about hair loss anymore, and now all my hair has fallen out! What happened?!”

“You have no hair left, so there's no reason to worry about hair loss.”

In any case, I distributed all the ordinary tickets to those who came looking for them. Only one Golden Ticket remained, and I carefully stored it in the safe.

‘There may come a time when I need it.’

Today had been another peaceful day. I consulted with customers who wanted to go to the Otherworld, told them to come back tomorrow, and was heading home from work as usual.

‘That smells good.’

The scent of food drifting through the streets I passed on my way home made me decide to eat out. I walked around until I found a family restaurant that was moderately busy without being crowded, then went in and ordered a meal.

“One Hamburg steak, please.”

“Yes! One Hamburg steak order received.”

While I waited for the food, I looked around.

“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday, Hayul~ Happy birthday to you~”

“Hayul, you have to go whoosh and blow them out.”

“Whoosh!”

A couple celebrating their child's birthday, and a child who looked happy.

“Ah, I screwed up even the mock exam. What am I supposed to do about the college entrance exam? There are only a few days left.”

“Hey, there are still two weeks! Just master one subject every two days!”

“R-right?”

High school students worrying about the future.

“Assistant Manager Kim, couldn't you have handled this assignment better?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't just say you're sorry every time. Do you know how frustrated I must be to call you out separately and talk to you like this?”

A scolding superior and a groveling subordinate.

“Babe, can I have just one bite of that?”

“You said you were going on a diet. You said you were only eating salad.”

“Just one bite!”

Even a couple's siege battle, one coveting the other's food while the other defended it. As I watched these ordinary scenes that could be found anywhere, my order finally arrived.

“Enjoy your meal!”

The Hamburg steak was delicious. The meat was tender, the juices rich, and the sauce excellent.

‘I’d like to eat more.’

An overwhelming desire rose in me, enough to make me want to spend every last cent in my wallet. I wanted to raise my hand and order more immediately, but I wiped my mouth with a napkin and held back.

‘That wouldn't do. This is just right.’

Being moderately full, at around sixty percent fullness, was the ideal state for staying active until bedtime.

Then a commotion broke out.

“Hayul? You need to stop eating. Mommy is going to finish this now.”

“No!”

“Come on! Daddy has to eat it!”

“Waaah!”

The child buried their face in the cake. The mother grabbed the child by the nape and threw them aside, then greedily devoured the cake herself. The father did the same, while the child crawled back to the table and licked up the food they dropped on the floor.

“Huff, huff, screw the college entrance exam. I wish I could just eat this and die.”

“Hehe, it's delicious.”

The high school students kept drinking their beverages. Then they pressed their mouths against the refill drink machine, activated it, and continuously filled their stomachs.

“Manager, this is so delicious!”

“That's right! Haha, all my anger is melting away! Forget work, eating is the best!”

The employee being scolded and the superior doing the scolding both threw aside their utensils and shoved food into their mouths with both hands.

“What diet? Even ghosts who die after eating look better!”

“You made the right choice!”

The couple did the same, plunging their faces into their plates like pigs.

“Does anyone need more food?”

“Me!”

“Over here!”

“Here! Here!”

At the customers' orders, the server carried out countless dishes on an enormous tray.

‘Fast.’

I glanced into the kitchen through the slightly open door. Several chefs made food at such tremendous speed that afterimages trailed behind them, while the servers moved without pause to bring out more dishes.

“Haaah, haaah!”

“Mmph!”

“Huff, huff!”

No one used utensils anymore. Their mouths were no longer means of communication, only organs for eating. As though the sole purpose of their lives was to eat, they buried their faces in their plates like pigs.

‘No reaction.’

The restaurant was on the first floor, its glass walls fully exposing the interior to the street, but pedestrians simply passed by after seeing what was happening inside.

“Ahem.”

At that moment, someone entered the restaurant. He was a handsome Westerner in a suit, with neatly slicked-back blond hair.

“Ah, would you happen to be Lee Seung-hoon?”

He spoke to me.

“Yes, that's me.”

“Ah! It is a pleasure to meet you. To introduce myself, I am this sort of person.”

He handed me a business card.

[Lucifer Company Research and Development General Manager Beelzebub]

“I am Beelzebub, the general manager of Lucifer Company's R&D Department.”

The man bowed politely and sat across from me.

“You may call me Baal for short.”

＊＊＊

“Squeal!”

“Snort!”

“Squeeal!”

The restaurant was filled with pig noises. It had not been an unhygienic restaurant, but flies began appearing one by one.

“This is a fine restaurant. It has been a long time since I visited this dimension, so I wondered how it had changed. It has developed quite a lot.”

“It seems you visited quite a long time ago?”

“Yes, quite some time ago. The last time I visited was, hmm, what year is it now?”

“It is 2024.”

“It has been exactly that long. Two thousand and twenty-four years. Ah, I'd like to order, please.”

A server approached.

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-whattttt.”

“One glass of cola, French fries, and hmm, would you like more as well, Mr. Lee? It'll be my treat.”

“No, I'm quite full.”

“Then I'll order only these.”

“Th-th-th-thankkk.”

The server could no longer manage a friendly smile. They only moved mechanically, like a serving robot.

“By the way, Mr. Lee, I have a few questions.”

“What are they? You said you're the R&D general manager, so you must have sought me out for product research and development, but I don't think there's anything I can do to help.”

“Haha, listening to a consumer's evaluation of a product is also research and development for better products.”

Baal opened the containers of seasoning on the table.

“Our company feels a profound sense of responsibility over the fact that Mr. Lee did not use the contract to the end and sold it partway through. How dissatisfied must you have been with the product to sell it to a prostitute with nowhere else to go? As this was unprecedented in Lucifer Company's history, upper management, myself included, felt the need to resolve the matter so that it never happens again.”

“So you came to ask me directly.”

Throughout our conversation, he dipped his fingers into the salt, pepper, red pepper powder, chicken stock, and more, then ate them.

“That is correct. Customer, what did you dislike that made you stop using it?”

“M-m-m-meallll.”

“Thank you. Please set it down here.”

Even more flies buzzed through the restaurant. I watched them rub their hands together as they landed on the food the customers were eating with their faces buried in it.

“The French fries are delicious. Ah, please continue. I'm listening.”

Every fly was facing Baal, making them look like worshippers praying to a god.

“There was one reason. There was an unfair clause. I disliked it, so I only used the trial version and gave up.”

“Oh, the trial version! I told them over and over to remove that...! Those marketing bastards only know cheap tricks. They don't understand the development team's struggles at all!”

A foul smell spread through the air. The terrible stench of urine and feces filled the restaurant, created by the customers who greedily devoured food like pigs.

“If there was anything inconvenient while using it, please tell me. I’ll make sure we incorporate your feedback.”

“There was something inconvenient.”

The flies rushed at them for their feast. The flies clinging thickly to the customers' lower bodies even seemed to be covering their private parts.

“First, automatic payments are an act that infringes on consumer rights.”

“But...”

“Perhaps it would be different in another dimension, but not here.”

“Hmm, I'll keep that in mind.”

“Second, did you cause what is happening here?”

He smiled and nodded.

“Yes. It has been a long time since I came to this dimension, so I unconsciously exerted some power. Is it not a pleasant sight? The humans in our dimension all enjoy it.”

“Perhaps that is acceptable where you live, but forcing such behavior here is a crime. It makes me think that a company that does not respect other countries' cultures cannot make proper products.”

“Oh, dear...”

“It is the basis of business.”

“I made a mistake.”

Without any warning, every fly in the restaurant vanished. At the same time, everyone returned to their senses.

“Huh? What was I just...”

“Mom, I pooped myself!”

“U-uuaaaagh!”

“Aah! What is this?! Fuck!”

A huge uproar broke out, and people outside saw the disgraceful scene inside and pointed in shock. Customers fled in a panic or ran for the restrooms. The servers clutched their heads and groaned from headaches, while the chefs came outside and shouted on trembling legs.

“An, an ambulance!”

Chaos broke out, but no one paid attention to Baal or me.

“I sincerely apologize. I was trying to give them a little shock, but I ended up causing a nuisance. Still, there is one thing I am curious about.”

“What is it?”

“Didn’t you feel any gluttony? Then why did you not eat more?”

It was no great question.

“I was moderately full, so I was satisfied and stopped there.”

“Why?”

“If I ate whenever I wanted to eat and defecated whenever I wanted to defecate, I would be no different from an animal.”

“No one would say anything even if you did.”

I put a toothpick in my mouth instead of a cigarette.

“I am not an animal. I am human.”

Footnotes:

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