WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Alyo
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Surviving Among the Anomalies ◈
Chapter 30: Devilish Salesmanship
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“So what you’re saying is…”
Baal asked with a slightly bewildered expression.
“You escaped my influence without the help of any sacred relic, any Anomaly, or any transcendent being?”
“If by escaping, you mean no longer feeling excessive hunger, that would be incorrect. I continued to feel hungry until you withdrew your power.”
For a moment, I saw eyes unlike human eyes, made up of thousands of simple eyes.
“Do you perhaps have a saint among your ancestors?”
“No. My family genealogy is ordinary.”
“Were you ever baptized by a saint, holy man, or religious figure when you were young?”
“I believe in freedom of religion and have no intention of denying their beliefs, but my late parents and I are all nonreligious.”
“Have you ever touched something special or come into contact with someone special without realizing it?”
“That is a contradiction. The phrase ‘without realizing it’ cannot coexist with a question asking me to confirm the act.”
Those fly-like eyes briefly seemed to tear apart my body and examine even my soul, but that gaze vanished without a trace.
“Well, this is something. I thought you were hiding something even you didn’t know about. I assumed that was why you escaped my influence, but after examining you properly, you truly have nothing.”
“Yes.”
“You were not born with a special bloodline like that Carpenter of Nazareth, either.”
“I am an ordinary human.”
“Well, your body is slightly unusual, but it is still within the bounds of humanity. Still…”
He stared at my right eye, shuddered, and shook his head.
“I will not mention it. I might catch its taint. In any case, that eye does not seem to suppress desire, and your soul is that of an ordinary human. Yet you endured my influence through Mental Strength alone. That, too, has never happened in our history.”
“It is unwise to expect that something which has never happened will never happen. People believed all swans would remain white forever, then were shocked when they discovered black swans in Australia. There are many things that can happen in this world.”
“This goes beyond a difference in color.”
“Then let us correct it to a platypus. When it was first presented to academia, the scholars of the day all accused its discoverer of fraud. They said such a creature could not exist, that it had to be a taxidermy specimen stitched together from the corpses of several animals.”
Only then did Baal smile.
“I think I would react the same way. I wonder whether anyone will believe me when I report this. They will probably ridicule me mercilessly.”
“More importantly, are you finished investigating? It is about time for me to leave.”
“Yes, I am finished. Still, I will visit again soon.”
The restaurant was in chaos, but as he walked through it, people naturally stepped aside without even noticing him.
“Not missing even the last customer. That is Lucifer Company’s motto.”
＊＊＊
“You have come again.”
“As I told you, we cannot miss even the last customer.”
Early in the morning, while I was preparing for new Otherworld transfer applicants, Baal came to the office.
“You intend to make me a customer. Does that mean you came to sell me a product?”
“Yes. The product you will see today contains none of the marketing department’s petty tricks. It is a product that competes solely on quality.”
“I am curious. Show me.”
There was still time before my appointment with the Otherworld transfer applicants, so I decided to take a look.
“What is this?”
The first item was a stone. Rough and just the right size to hold in one hand, it was dark red with old dried blood stuck to it.
“It is a Replica of the Tool Used in the First Murder. It does not contain the first spirituality or the first murderous intent, but it does contain the first impurity.”
“What does it do?”
“Whoever owns this stone will be seized by intense murderous intent. That intent will turn toward their closest blood relatives, and they will smash their relatives’ heads with this stone.”
“Hmm.”
“If there is someone you hate, secretly hide it in that person’s residence or garden. That alone will make them recognized as its owner and activate it.”
“You said it activates once someone becomes its owner. Wouldn’t it activate the moment I purchased it?”
“Yes, that is correct. You can afford to lose one or two family members, can’t you? And if you are an orphan, you can make even easier use of it.”
“I am an orphan, but I do not particularly wish to kill anyone.”
“How unfortunate.”
The next item was a single glove.
“This is Gloves Made from the Palm Skin of a Foolish King from Ancient Human History. Everything touched while wearing it turns to gold, even living creatures.”
“Does that include the wearer?”
“You are quick to notice. Yes.”
“I refuse. Besides, I already have more gold than I could ever need.”
“How unfortunate.”
The third item was a small seed.
“It is the Seed of the Fruit Eaten by the First Humans. If you grow it into a tree and eat its fruit, you can attain eternal youth and immortality. It takes only a month to grow into a mature tree, so it will not take much time.”
“Does the fruit have any side effects?”
“There is one very minor side effect. The fruit from which this seed originated awakened shame in those who ate it, but the fruit grown from this seed does the opposite. It removes shame and amplifies sexual desire. When they see someone of the opposite sex, they cannot restrain themselves. They immediately rush at them and begin mating. Ah! There is no need to worry. The fruit makes them dozens of times stronger than an ordinary human, so they can overpower the other person very easily.”
“Hmm.”
“What is the matter? Is not reproduction and prosperity humanity’s duty?”
“It does not appeal to me.”
“How unfortunate.”
Every product Baal brought reminded me of something.
‘Wrath, Greed, lust.’
From the company being named Lucifer Company to the man before me being named Baal, it was impossible not to know what they were.
“Most Lucifer Company products seem capable of causing danger through nothing more than user carelessness or a small mistake.”
“Is that not true of human products as well? A car can kill someone with only a little carelessness or a mistake. Guns and cannons are the same. Products are convenient by nature, but you must accept some level of risk.”
“A company’s job is to reduce those risks, provide proper warnings, and preserve performance while making its products safer.”
“Is that really necessary? Is that not the customer’s responsibility? If a customer did not like our product, they would not buy it. Customers should decide whether it is dangerous or not. That is a free-market economy.”
As expected of a demon, there was no reasoning with him.
“In any case, I have no intention of buying anything, so please leave.”
“How unfortunate. Then I will show you another product. Please wait just a moment.”
“No, it is time for my guests to arrive.”
Right then, someone knocked on the office door.
“Is, is this the Fixer Office?”
“Yes, it is. Please come in.”
I led the Otherworld transfer applicants into the office. As soon as the others arrived, Baal vanished.
“Otherworlds are not always happy places. Most Otherworlds have a low chance of survival, and there is a high chance you will suffer greatly from the beginning. Suffering would be one thing, but you might die. The list I handed out contains the names and causes of death of people who went to Otherworlds and died.”
I shattered their hopes for Otherworlds, then gave those who still wished to go the knowledge they needed.
“Making soap currently has the highest chance of success. Medieval fantasy nobles especially like luxury goods, so if you sell scented soap, you have a good chance of succeeding as a merchant. Still, until you build up some connections…”
Lastly, I made them think for one more day and return the next day.
“Have you thought it over enough?”
“Yes, p-please send me!”
“You have no regrets, correct? If you do, I absolutely cannot send you.”
“I thought about it all day, and I am confident I can do really well in an Otherworld! I studied hard too! Please send me right away!”
That was how I sent six people to Otherworlds.
‘That is quite a lot for one day.’
When I went to the reception room to rest for a while, Baal was sitting there waiting for me.
“Oh…”
He grabbed my hand.
“You are an incredible person. That was truly devilish salesmanship! I respect you, Lee Seung-hoon!”
＊＊＊
“What is the matter? Let go of my hand first. You are a guest, so I will bring you some tea.”
“Ah, thank you. I would like coffee powder, please.”
I set out a cup of black tea and a teacup filled with instant coffee powder.
“What did you mean by devilish salesmanship?”
“I saw everything. Did you not sell those people off to Otherworlds?”
He spoke while dipping his finger into the coffee powder and eating it. Unlike before, his eyes were moist, and he was as excited as someone meeting a person they admired.
“We tried that business before as well. No matter how much we tempted them, very few people transferred to Otherworlds, so we had no choice but to give it up. Most Otherworlds are dangerous places. Everyone was interested at first, but once they learned the truth, every last one of them ran away.”
“You could have lied and told them Otherworlds were good.”
“We demons cannot lie. We can refrain from telling the truth or distort the truth without actually lying, but… transferring to an Otherworld is such a special matter that many people ask thorough questions.”
His face was slightly flushed as he asked.
“How did you do it? Our conditions were the same.”
“First, I need to correct one thing. What I did was not devilish salesmanship. I did not act with devilish malice, nor did I receive any payment from them.”
“What? You are doing this for free? You do not receive their souls after they die or demand payment from their families?”
“They are people exhausted by the hardships of this world, dreaming of a new life. I simply gave them an opportunity and helped them settle into new lives in a new world. Besides, I am a pure human. What would I want with souls?”
Baal looked slightly surprised.
“Humans also trade souls. More importantly, you say you are helping them… You do know how dangerous Otherworlds are, do you not?”
“I know well. They are dangerous enough that the death rate exceeds fifty percent. Even now, after sending them with extensive preparation, it remains around thirty percent.”
“Can that be called helping them?”
“Mr. Baal.”
I moistened my throat with black tea. It was unfortunate that I had not had enough time to make cucumber sandwiches.
“Challenges always come with a price. Humanity has always paid a great price to seize its future, and the same is true for individuals. No matter how much I help, that truth will not change, so it cannot be helped.”
“I will ask again. You are saying that was not devilish salesmanship?”
“Yes.”
Instead, I took out a Digestive, dipped it in my tea, and took a bite.
“Do not keep disparaging my goodwill in guiding lost lambs to a new world by calling it devilish salesmanship.”
“…”
Whole wheat was fine, but chocolate Digestives went better with breakfast after all.
“Ha, hahahaha, hahahahaha! Ahahahahaha!”
Baal burst into laughter. The noise was like thousands, no, hundreds of millions of flies buzzing through the air, setting my ears ringing.
“You truly are the best. Hehe, to think I would see such pure malice in this world.”
Disparaging my goodwill to my face was demonlike, as expected.
“Ever since we lost to that Carpenter of Nazareth in the past, we have been in a terrible slump. We stopped directly tempting humans and turned to trapping them instead, but thanks to you, I remembered what we had forgotten. To think we would learn from humans… This is embarrassing.”
He held out a business card.
“I would like to make you an offer, Mr. Lee. No, Lee Seung-hoon, sir.”
He bowed politely at the waist and greeted me like a nobleman.
“Would you consider joining our company? We will immediately welcome you into a department-head position.”
I drained the rest of my tea and opened the office door.
“I refuse. Please leave now.”
Footnotes:
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