WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Chen

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◈ Surviving as an Office Worker at the Anomaly Management Bureau ◈

Chapter 29: Romantic Comedy, Action, Philosophy

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It felt like I was deep underwater.

Like I was somewhere dark, where I couldn't swim up on my own.

Just as I thought that I might not be able to wake up if I stayed alone like this.

"...Up!"

"I said wake up!!"

"Hey!"

"Gasp!"

I woke up to the sensation of someone violently shaking my shoulders.

Song A-rin was desperately gripping both my shoulders and shaking me.

I came face-to-face with her as she stared at me with a desperate expression.

"Why are you making such a fuss? You know it's fine even if I die once."

"Then why did you ask if I was okay when I woke up?"

"I didn't shake your shoulders."

"Do you really have to argue over every little thing?"

"No, but you do know I'm older than you, right?"

"Argh."

Song A-rin punched my shoulder with an irritated expression.

"What about the others?"

"...Don't be too shocked when you hear this."

As if she had never been annoyed, Song A-rin looked at me with a bright smile.

"Not a single person died."

"Oh!"

So our efforts had paid off in the end.

I raised my hand for a high five, and Song A-rin raised hers to slap it.

Smack!

The sound echoed through the quiet theater.

Realizing what she had done, Song A-rin vigorously cleared her throat and turned her head away.

Soon, she glanced back at me from the corner of her eye.

"...Are you okay?"

"About what?"

"You're not hurt or anything?"

"Ah."

I thought of the Red Lady.

As expected, I couldn't remember anything.

But I remembered exactly what I had done.

I took the Manual from my pocket.

Let's see. Red Lady... Red Lady...

As though it had found what I wanted, the Manual opened, and a new page soon appeared.

[Manual for Office Workers]

[PRV - containment object "Red Lady" - Record of Kim Jae-heon, Human Resources Team]

[This object is one of the characters in the musical "Red Lady" and cannot be defeated through ordinary means. However, due to the nature of the musical, the Red Lady can be neutralized by changing the genre.]

[This object is a musical-type object. Be advised that there is a high probability it is a containment object distributed by the emerging organization known as the Troupe.]

[First Discoverer: Kim Jae-heon, Human Resources Team]

A sketch of the Red Lady's face was drawn beneath it.

I was the first discoverer?

Could my luck really be this awful?

I searched to see if there was any additional information, but nothing else came up.

I was the first discoverer in the first place, so it was only what I had written with a few annotations added.

Who had added those annotations?

For now, I was just grateful that I could remember her face.

"..."

Could there be something on the next page too?

"Don't forget. That Manual contains the experiences and data painstakingly accumulated by your seniors."

Maybe I could find useful information in the records on other containment objects.

Seniors, if you're watching, give me strength!

I prayed to seniors whose faces I didn't even know and turned the page, but instead of information, there was only one sentence in the center of the blank page.

[Due to Management Bureau security measures, access to containment object information is restricted when it is not needed.]

My seniors had done their best, but it didn't seem like they would be much help to me.

"How did you write that?"

Song A-rin, who had somehow ended up looking at the Manual beside me, stared at me in surprise.

"This? Just a feeling? Instinct?"

I didn't know how to explain it, but that was exactly right.

It felt like now was the time to write it. There was no other way to describe it.

In contrast, Song A-rin's expression grew serious after hearing me, and she suddenly spoke.

"You have talent."

"Pardon?"

"You made an Entry. Not just anyone can do that."

No, if just anyone couldn't make an Entry, then who did?

Seeming to notice my expression, Song A-rin sighed and began explaining.

"Every Management Bureau employee can access the Manual's information, provided they meet the conditions."

"Yes."

"But not everyone can make an Entry."

"...Yes."

This was making me uneasy.

"To make an Entry, the Management Bureau... I mean, um. ...Anyway, there is something. Something you would have trouble understanding with your common sense. You can only make an Entry after being acknowledged by it."

"...Are the people who usually receive that acknowledgment from the Containment Team or something?"

"Oh, how did you know? Not everyone is like that, but if we're talking about people particularly suited to the Management Bureau, it's the Containment Team. Most members of the Containment Team have a talent for making Entries."

I knew it.

At this rate, I was really going to get transferred to the Containment Team.

"Please keep this a secret."

"Why? Are you scared someone will snatch you up?"

"You know me well. Please keep quiet."

"I normally wouldn't."

Song A-rin sighed and crossed her arms.

"But I owe you my life, so I'll let that much slide."

"Then can you do this too, Ms. A-rin?"

"I can't."

Song A-rin answered as though it were obvious.

"Why not?"

"What am I supposed to do if I can't?"

How confident.

"Anyway, you must have some kind of decent idea, right?"

"I do."

I answered Song A-rin's question confidently.

"You said we'd change the genre. How are you planning to change it?"

"All of them."

"What?"

"I'm going to try them all."

Song A-rin frowned.

"Hey, does that count as changing the genre? It'll just become a terrible movie."

"That's right."

That was my goal from the start.

What was the problem with horror?

It mixed well with everything.

Romance? A couple making love before they die was one cliché after another.

Action? Slicing people apart with a chainsaw was action too.

Comedy? Honestly, I wasn't confident about that one.

In conclusion, we needed to change the genre to turn the script on its head.

But did I really need to try just one of romance, action, and comedy?

I could do all of them.

"What if the Red Lady is still scary after all that?"

"If we ruin the mood, then it doesn't matter whether it's a horror movie or not."

There was a movie I had found while searching the internet, and for a horror movie, it was quite something.

It was about tomatoes that harbored murderous intent toward humans and killed them.

A person put a tomato over their solar plexus and screamed, but at least to me, it made no sense.

"..."

Song A-rin stared at me for a while, then sighed.

"Fine. It doesn't sound completely wrong, so I'll go along with you again."

"If you have a better idea, hurry up and suggest it."

I was always ready to go with a better idea.

"I don't."

"Then let's go."

<2 minutes remaining until the end of break time.>

Song A-rin gripped the armrest tensely, then looked at me.

"But even if we can look directly at the Red Lady, how are we supposed to kill it? We can't bring guns with us."

"There's a way."

I looked at the words [Critical: 1] on the translucent window.

I had ways to spare.

<1 minute remaining until the end of break time.>

"...Hey."

"Yes."

Song A-rin, who had been quiet, looked at me again.

She opened her mouth with a tense expression.

"I trust you."

"Yes. Trust me."

<Break time has ended.>

My vision went dark.

* * *

I woke up in a ruined city.

"Damn it, stone dust."

Song A-rin grumbled as she brushed off her clothes nearby.

Gray powder fell from her body.

"So. What do we do now?"

"Come over here first."

Song A-rin came over to me in small steps after hearing that.

She's quite nice when she listens so well.

I linked arms with Song A-rin.

Her body stiffened.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Romance."

"D-do we really have to start with romance...?"

"If you want to start with action, comedy, or philosophy, say so. Hurry up and give me a topic."

"..."

Song A-rin scrunched up her face and firmly linked arms with me.

"I'm thinking, so just walk for now."

"We can't just walk. We have to talk."

"Talk about what? Loving words?"

"Then it would actually become a romance genre. We need to say things that are far from romance."

"I think you've really lost it."

"Why can't someone with Immortality and Regeneration break down alcohol quickly?"

"She's probably pretending to be drunk. Wasn't she whining at you to take her home?"

"She threw up on my clothes."

"Ugh."

I walked along, chatting with Song A-rin while our arms were linked.

"If you ask me, I don't think that white-haired woman can drink at all. Girls who look like that are really bad at drinking, you know?"

"I've never seen anyone drink five bottles of soju without even changing color."

"...The Human Resources Team is kind of weird."

The setting changed.

This time, we were in a park at night.

People walked around while glancing at Song A-rin and me.

It was a little different from before.

I let go of Song A-rin's arm and began jogging in place.

Whoosh, whoosh. I made sounds with my mouth as I punched the air.

"...What's this one supposed to be?"

"Romance action."

"Ugh, I really hate this."

Even as she spoke like she was sick of it, Song A-rin also began jogging in place after me.

Whoosh, whoosh. She punched the air too.

I opened my palm and held it in front of her hand.

Like a boxer practicing with a coach.

"Do you have a favorite food?"

"Blood sausage soup."

"Are you an old man?"

"What about you?"

"Pizza."

"Are you a child?"

Song A-rin answered while hitting my hand.

Thud, thud. Every time Song A-rin hit my hand, I continued asking another question.

"What's your type?"

"A man I can really talk to. What about you?"

"Hmm."

"What? Is it a secret?"

Thud!

Song A-rin struck my hand hard with her fist.

"That hurts. It's not that... ...A pretty woman, maybe?"

"You're so shallow."

"You don't like handsome men?"

"I do. But I don't say it so openly."

Thud, thud!

Song A-rin kept hitting my hand.

By then, the many people in the park had stopped to stare at Song A-rin and me.

I had once read that if you said, "This is a dream," inside a dream, everyone would stare at you.

Even among the characters of this play, we were already irregulars.

"...We're doing this right, aren't we?"

"Yes."

Song A-rin asked me anxiously as she hit my hand, and I quietly answered her.

The people continued staring at us.

Then the setting changed again.

This time, we were in the middle of a crowded city.

From the start, everyone in the city was staring at Song A-rin and me.

"...What's next?"

Song A-rin looked at me anxiously.

"Next is..."

Step, step.

Footsteps rang out.

I took both of Song A-rin's hands and met her eyes.

"Think of something good for the finale."

"Huh, what?"

"What's the best thing for an ending?"

"An ending?"

Romantic comedy, action romance.

I thought we only needed one more.

"What this needs at the very end."

Song A-rin's eyes darted around.

Step, step.

What should we do? Philosophy? The Management Bureau?

Let's think of genres.

"Damn it... Fine, I'll do it, okay? I'll do it!"

Song A-rin suddenly shouted. She stood on tiptoe, pressed her lips to my cheek, then pulled away.

"...?"

Song A-rin shouted with a flushed face.

"Isn't this what you wanted?!"

This wasn't what I wanted.

I turned my gaze toward the source of the footsteps.

A red dress. A brightly smiling mouth.

And the part above it that was still invisible.

A translucent window appeared before my eyes.

[Name: Red Lady]

[Age: Manufactured 3 months ago]

[Trait: -]

[Talent: Reality Interference]

[Background: This object is part of a play, but it is also the most important part of the play. Depending on your response, it may become immortal, or it may become the sacrifice in a heroic tale.]

[Weakness: You already know its weakness.]

I turned to face it.

"Honestly, it wasn't what I wanted, but the result is right."

"..."

Leaving the speechless Song A-rin behind me, I clenched my fist.

It was finally time to go home.

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