WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Chen
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Surviving as an Office Worker at the Anomaly Management Bureau ◈
Chapter 30: Final Curtain
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-Clang!
“Aah-”
Before I could even finish screaming, I was sent flying into a wall.
The moment my back slammed into it, the breath was knocked out of me.
“Hey! Are you alive?!”
Song A-rin ran over and helped me up.
“You were talking so confidently, and all you did was charge in with a metal rod?”
“W-well, what kind of exceptional fighting ability did you think I had?”
I caught my breath before answering Song A-rin.
What ability did I have to fight? I was confident I could organize charts faster than most people, review them more thoroughly, and distribute salaries, but that was about it.
“Does Hypnosis work?”
“I already tried. It doesn’t work at all. It feels like punching a wall.”
“This is serious.”
Song A-rin immediately snapped at that.
“Then why were you talking so confidently?!”
“Because I’m confident we can win.”
I recalled the results of the three attempts I had experienced so far.
The first time, it was a disaster.
The second time, it was a disaster.
The third time, it was a disaster.
The fourth time, we could finally fight in the same ring.
“First, we need to wear it down as much as possible.”
“How?”
“What do you mean, how? We fight.”
“I don’t have any fighting ability.”
“Do I?”
Song A-rin grimaced and snatched the metal rod from my hand.
“Fine! We’ll do it, then!”
She boldly ran at the Red Lady and swung the metal rod.
-Clang!
“Eek!”
A moment later, she rolled to a stop beside me.
“...We can really win this, right?”
Song A-rin barely got herself up and looked at me skeptically.
“Yes. We can.”
We only needed one good hit.
The problem was that there were no guns here.
What if I used Critical with the metal rod to strike its weakness, and it was blocked?
Then we really would have nothing left.
Which meant we needed to find an opening for that one hit.
If we worked together properly, we could do it.
Even with nothing more than ordinary human bodies and reflexes, if we could coordinate as smoothly as flowing water...
Huh?
“Wait a second, Song A-rin.”
“What?”
Song A-rin stared at me.
“You said you can infer what I’m thinking right now, right?”
“...Yeah.”
“Then couldn’t we move as though we were one body?”
“...Why did I infer that thought?”
Song A-rin’s face twisted.
“...It’s not impossible.”
“Then why do you look like that?”
“First, it takes time. Second, I feel like I’ll be in a really bad mood if I assimilate with you any further. Mostly the second one.”
“Ah. Then get ready quickly. I’ll buy us time.”
“Fine.”
Song A-rin took a few steps back and met my eyes.
“Leave it to me. Starting now, I’m going to implant the suggestion of your existence deeper into my mind.”
“Yes.”
Feeling Song A-rin’s piercing gaze, I held up the metal rod and faced the Red Lady.
There was still nothing visible above its mouth, but I no longer had any trouble looking at it.
I understood.
Its role in this play was no longer that of an overwhelming killer.
It was just a villain from a bad production.
The problem was that villains could still be plenty strong.
If Yoo Da-on had been here, she could have somehow held out through sheer toughness. If Jang Chae-yeon had been here, we could have fought on equal footing.
But all we had were a buffer with good eyes and a debuffer with Hypnosis.
Could we really win?
Normally, it would have been impossible.
But I had never intended to win by fighting like this in the first place.
I only needed to hold out for a few more moves.
I raised the metal rod and waited for the Red Lady to approach.
It slowly came toward me.
Then, a chop that looked like it could kill me came flying at me without warning.
I barely managed to raise the metal rod in time.
-Clang!
The same ringing sound as before filled my ears, and my body was pushed back, but I somehow held on.
Something sliced through the air, and this time, I didn’t even have time to block.
I kicked off the floor and rolled to the side.
A fist slammed into the spot I had just left. Cold sweat ran down my spine.
Before I could even see its next move, a kick flew toward my solar plexus. I crossed both arms and blocked it.
-Thud!
“Ghk...!”
A sound that should never have come from my left arm rang out.
My left arm had definitely broken.
Even so, I couldn’t run away.
I gripped the metal rod with my right hand and stood up again.
I glanced toward Song A-rin.
Even while sweating heavily, she kept looking at me.
Not much longer.
Just block it one more time.
It opened its mouth wide.
Human teeth, dripping with saliva, faced me.
As someone who had died to those teeth once before, it was an experience I never wanted to repeat.
It kicked off the ground and thrust its grotesque face toward me.
I couldn’t block this with one hand.
Even with my throbbing left arm, I barely held up the metal rod and braced for the impact.
-Bang!
The Red Lady bit down on the metal rod and pushed forward. Unable to withstand it, my body was shoved back along with it.
“-!”
I didn’t even have time to groan.
I rolled across the floor several times with it before stopping.
My left arm was consumed by agony.
The Red Lady stood up first.
Its head twisted strangely as it looked in my direction.
Grinning, it gave me a bright smile.
I had no way to hold out any longer.
Just as I desperately called Song A-rin’s name in my mind, a woman in familiar clothes stepped in front of me as though protecting me.
It was Song A-rin.
Song A-rin turned only her head to look at me.
“Thank you. I held out well because of you.”
“Why are you talking like that?”
“I assimilated with you, so I sound like this. Start talking casually next time, damn it.”
Song A-rin faced the Red Lady, and I barely forced my aching body upright behind her.
Song A-rin’s gaze was fixed above the Red Lady’s head.
She was imitating even the way I could see the information floating above people’s heads. At this point, wouldn’t it be fair to call her Kim Jae-heon MK-2?
“Why do you keep fighting while looking pointlessly a little too high, exactly?”
“Do you know how annoyingly strange that sounds?”
“Shut up.”
Song A-rin somehow had bricks in both hands as she stood beside me.
“Just aim for one good hit, please.”
“Got it, please.”
Song A-rin glared at me, and I avoided her eyes.
“You move first, then I’ll land it. Please.”
“Yes.”
Once again, it opened its mouth and charged at us.
Holding the metal rod, I blocked its teeth again.
At the same moment, Song A-rin smashed a brick into its head with perfect timing.
A dull sound rang out.
Its head crumpled grotesquely.
Still biting the metal rod, it swung its arms wildly.
Song A-rin quickly pulled back, and I used the opening to wrench the rod free with all my strength.
The fight began again.
Whenever I blocked, Song A-rin struck. Whenever Song A-rin dodged, I struck again. That exchange repeated over and over.
My left arm now hung uselessly at my side, and Song A-rin was bleeding from several places as she gasped for breath.
But the Red Lady wasn’t unharmed either.
Its head was so deeply dented that it was difficult to recognize its original shape. Its arms and legs were twisted so grotesquely that calling it human no longer felt right.
“Let’s finish this... now!”
“Understood.”
Song A-rin shouted between breaths. Agreeing with her, I raised the metal rod.
[Critical: 1 -> 0]
The world turned black and white and slowed down.
In that now-familiar sensation, I looked at the Red Lady.
A red dot flashed near its neck.
I swung the metal rod down.
At the same time, its right hand shot toward my face.
Even in the slowed world, the arm rushing toward my face was terrifying.
But I wasn’t afraid.
Song A-rin brought her brick down on its arm.
Its right hand grazed past my face.
-Thud!
My metal rod struck its neck as though being pulled into it.
“-! -! -!”
The Red Lady, which had never once made a sound, screamed.
Its body began to collapse.
Then,
[Your bond with Song A-rin has increased.]
[Due to your bond with Song A-rin, Song A-rin has obtained the Joint Skill, Method.]
[Method: You can perfectly assimilate with someone and imitate their traits. Your appearance does not change.]
[Method: 1]
It could have shown up a little sooner.
“Damn it! We did it!”
Song A-rin raised both hands and shouted.
Her nails were broken, and her fingers were swollen a vivid red.
I looked at my left arm.
It had completely lost its function and merely dangled at my side.
Slap!
Song A-rin smacked both of her cheeks.
“Ah, it’s finally over!”
Had she released the suggestion? She shook her head a few times, then looked at my left arm with a worried expression.
“...Are you okay?”
“Yes. Well, I’m alive.”
Once the play ended, my arm would probably return to normal anyway.
“Come here.”
Song A-rin groaned as she supported my shoulder and helped me walk.
“Do we really have to do this?”
“Be grateful. How many men in the world do you think get helped along by Song A-rin of the Management Bureau?”
“Not if they’ve seen that personality of yours.”
Song A-rin jabbed her elbow into my side.
“Anyway, good work.”
“You too.”
The world collapsed.
People vanished, and the ground caved in.
Soon, the two of us fell as well.
“...”
I opened my eyes inside the theater.
Where was Song A-rin?
I turned to look beside me.
“What are you looking at?”
Song A-rin looked at me with a displeased expression, one eyebrow raised.
“Is it over?”
“Communication was restored just now, so I contacted the Management Bureau.”
Song A-rin pulled out her phone.
“The Management Bureau will be here soon-”
-Bang!
“Jae-heon!”
Yoo Da-on’s familiar voice rang out.
“...Did you call the Human Resources Team?”
“...No.”
Song A-rin shook her head at my question.
“I guess they just came on their own.”
As I watched the two of them hurry toward me, I sighed and reached into my pocket for my phone.
“...?”
An unfamiliar sheet of paper brushed against my fingers.
I pulled it out of my pocket.
<Thank you for watching Act 1, Kim Jae-heon of the Management Bureau. We eagerly await your next visit. - The Troupe.>
It was a high-quality sheet of paper written in neat handwriting.
“...”
I had a bad feeling about this.
Still, it was over for now.
First, I should rest. Request some vacation days too. And then...
* * *
“Say hello. This is Song A-rin, our new team member.”
“...”
“...”
“...What is this?”
“There’s a long story.”
Song A-rin let out a long sigh beside the team leader.
Footnotes:
Song A-rin’s awkward phrasing during the fight reflects her speech blending with Jae-heon’s formal Korean through Method.
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