WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Ceaseless
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Dungeon Gallery's Terrifying Newbie ◈
Chapter 1: Became a Dungeon Master
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Dungeons.
A common element in games.
Dungeons were filled with enormous treasures and monsters.
The protagonist explored them, beat up monsters, earned rewards, and grew stronger.
I knew they had been loved by many for a long time because the concept was so intuitive and fun.
They were like a hearty, dependable bowl of blood sausage soup.
A few of the games I played fell into that genre too.
There was the darkest dungeon, where I could torture myself by watching my party members suffer from madness every single day. Or the one where the heroine's clothes got ripped if she was caught in a trap... No, not that one.
There were plenty of other works centered around dungeons, so most gamers, myself included, were probably familiar with the concept, even if it was fictional.
Anyway.
Whenever I saw a dungeon, I always had the same thought.
'The bosses who make these must be fucking pitiful.'
I felt sorry for dungeon operators who got beaten up like neighborhood punching bags.
And I meant that literally.
They must have painstakingly built traps.
Decorated the place to match the theme.
Raised their monsters diligently, like they were their own children.
[Holy shit! How is this even possible!? Final dungeon speedrun in 3 minutes 50 seconds with starter gear!]
[How to kill the Demon King with water balloons lolllllllllllllllllllllllll]
Seeing them get thoroughly ravaged by players made my eyes well up.
Of course.
Games were made for users to clear, so it was only natural.
But there were plenty of persistent people in this world.
Some called them Veterans, or rotten old-timers.
Game companies probably just wanted users to honestly follow the paths they designed.
But humans were incredibly creative creatures. If someone set out to beat a boss with nothing but a wooden sword, they somehow made it happen.
[They're doing that? No fucking way!]
[But it actually happened!]
There were countless YouTube videos with titles like that. They were fellow humans, but also truly astonishing bastards.
Even final bosses supposedly capable of threatening all humanity became nothing more than toys for them to play with.
I looked at the hologram floating before my eyes.
【Dungeon Gallery】
The best drink is enemy blood after stopping a Wave [15]
The traps I worked so hard on... They were all destroyed in one day, fuck [55]
Sharing the locations of each race's main strongholds!!!!! [32]
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Title: A god-tier tip for acting tough in front of humans...(Long post, scrolling warning)
Author: antqueen
Like there'd be such a thing lolllllllllllllllllllllllll
Someone please tell me!! Every Wave cycle is driving me fucking insane.
They don't die even when killed, and there are even more of them in the next Wave. It's seriously unbearable.
Is there any good method? sob sob sob
I'll give away my precious children if someone tells me sob sob sob
└op_ghost: Fuck, get rid of that disgusting picture.
└squintychar: Why do your children get creepier with every passing day?
└dip: Hmm...
└golemking: Here we go again.
└no_minions_4_me: Quit baiting people.
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Title: Still, humies are better than knife-ears, yeah
Author: worldiscold
Everyone knows humies are better than those perverted bastards who obsessively try to conquer dungeons for hundreds of years until they grow old and die... Actuallyidontknowbuttheelvesherearetoostrongfuckwhendoesthelocationchange????pleasesavemeplzjfhdkf
└dip: Hmm...
└sealedphilo: No idea. Hang in there lol.
└op_ghost: This bastard's still breathing. I thought you were dead lol.
└humanluvr: Come to think of it, where did you say you were dropped, worldiscold?
└op_ghost: Near the World Tree.
└humanluvr: Ah.
An internet community.
A place overflowing with dopamine, Chaos, and hatred.
People call that sort of dumpster an online community.
Inside a nameless cave, I couldn't help but stare blankly at a scene straight out of an online community.
That wasn't all.
【Congratulations on becoming a Dungeon Master!】
【Defend your dungeon from invaders and forge a myth!】
"What is this?"
The welcome message covered the community window.
Was this a dream or reality?
No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't find an answer.
"..."
Fuck.
There aren't any Veterans here, right?
* * *
To put it simply, I was an ordinary person.
I was a freelancer, living a dull life that both I and everyone else agreed would never undergo any dramatic changes.
Then I came to my senses and found myself standing in a dark, eerie place out of nowhere.
What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
I didn't know either.
I'd gone to bed comfortably last night, but when I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar cave. It wasn't as though I'd been kidnapped in a van, but the situation was so absurd that my brain froze.
Dungeon Gallery.
And a Status Window.
"I'm so fucking screwed."
The curse slipped out automatically.
I'd never felt this disoriented in my life.
I could say with certainty that I was more flustered than an elementary school kid who wet themself on a bus.
Fuck.
What about the rental apartment with the ten-million-won deposit I'd worked so hard to save up for?
Where was the used sedan I bought for a cheap five million won?
Was this some kind of punishment?
I did curse out one of my teammates last night while playing a game and call them a motherless bastard.
Did that deserve death?
Just as I was denying reality.
【Warning】
【24 hours remain until the Wave.】
【Caution】
【The current dungeon is an empty space.】
【Prepare defenses in advance against the enemies who will come rushing in.】
"A Wave? A dungeon?"
If they were going to drag someone to a strange place, couldn't they at least explain things properly?
The very phenomenon I was facing made no sense to begin with.
"Even if you tell me to prepare in advance..."
How was I supposed to prepare?
I pinched my cheek.
Since I could feel pain, it didn't seem to be a dream.
"This is suddenly pissing me off."
What kind of bullshit is this? I didn't get any warning.
No matter how harsh society was, wasn't it only proper to give someone time to mentally prepare if they had an urgent request or business?
They kidnapped me into a cave out of nowhere.
Defend the dungeon?
Prepare the means to defend it in advance?
How fucking kind.
Even the woman who nearly crashed into my car on the highway would've been kinder than this.
"Fuck."
My temper flared up quickly, which was a problem.
Still, if I had one strength, it was that I calmed down quickly.
Anyway.
What was the point of getting angry at that hologram?
It wasn't like that would help me overcome my current situation.
"Haah."
Drip, drip.
The echo of groundwater falling from stalactites mingled with my sigh.
What was the most important thing in life?
This was my personal philosophy.
Problem-solving ability.
There was a saying I liked most.
Even if you were dragged into a tiger's den, you could survive as long as you kept your wits about you.
Even if a natural disaster struck and all your property, including your house and car, vanished, you shouldn't despair. You should realize you had fire insurance and storm-and-flood insurance, then rush to file a complaint with the local government demanding money.
And if you didn't have insurance, what couldn't you do as long as you had the will to press record, upload a video titled [I Had a House, and Then I Didn't.], and gain a hundred thousand subscribers?
A crisis was an opportunity.
I really liked that saying.
Whining, crying, raging, and lamenting wouldn't change anything.
"First..."
I stared at the Gallery for a long time.
Was this really an online community where people communicated?
From my life experience, I knew that when you didn't know something, it was better to ask someone else than try to solve it yourself.
"Can I write a post too?"
How was I supposed to make a post, anyway?
Would people even look at it if I didn't use some attention-grabbing title like 'The Last Sincere Full-Power Last Dance of a 295-Year-Old Necromancer'?
【You must register as a user to write a post.】
【Would you like to register as a user?】
Huh?
Sure.
【Please set a nickname.】
A nickname.
I had one I often used whenever I signed up for a site.
【newbie】
Should I just use this one this time?
It wasn't like a name mattered much anyway.
【User registration complete.】
【Have a pleasant time.】
Pleasant time, my ass.
I didn't make this to leisurely browse a Gallery.
I was only doing this to find a way out of my current situation.
I was going to upload a post.
I was carefully preparing a 5,700-character post when a new notification window suddenly appeared and covered what I was writing.
"What kind of Gallery gives a notification when a new user joins?"
As I tried to close the notification, I accidentally deleted my post.
"Ah, fuck."
Damn it, now I had to write the whole thing over again.
After sighing, I opened the Gallery once more.
Well, I remembered what I wrote, so it should be faster than before.
Just as I was about to press the write button, new posts on the Gallery began appearing in rapid succession.
To an excessive degree.
Feeling that something was off, I looked over the posts.
What's this new user notification...? [15]
Anotherbaitbaitbaitbaitbaitbaitbaitbait [7]
Fuck, did the Gallery get hacked?? [25]
Guys, is something wrong with my eyes?? A newbie joined Dungeon Gallery?? [54]
What was this?
Why was this place suddenly like this?
I clicked the post with the most comments and looked through the countless replies below it:
└golemking: I saw it just now too. Did you guys see it?
└sealedphilo: Isn't this the head mod trolling?????
└kongkong: If this is the usual WWE, it's a notification I've never seen before.
└dip: Hmm...
└op_ghost: A legendary incident has occurred lol.
└sealedconq: Is this an incredibly fun hidden-camera prank the head mod carefully prepared for us?
└worldiscold: Head mod, make an announcement already.
└antqueen: Seriously, make an announcement before I fuck you, damn it.
└humanluvr: lol What the hell is going on?
└kingslayer: Weren't new Dungeon Masters not supposed to appear after the head mod's generation??
└anonbutcher: The head mod said it themselves. The others verified it too and all said it was completely true.
└no_minions_4_me: newbie, are you watching...?
└squintychar: What the fuck are you, exactly??
└magichero: C-c-could you maybe leave just one comment...?
└orange★: What?
An internet community.
A place overflowing with dopamine, Chaos, and hatred.
People call that sort of dumpster an online community.
The reaction to me was quite explosive.
Footnotes:
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried
