WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Ceaseless
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Dungeon Gallery's Terrifying Newbie ◈
Chapter 3: Preparing for the Wave
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I became a Dungeon Master overnight.
Which meant I had to prepare for the countless invaders who could come flooding in from now on.
According to the head mod, dungeons in this world were like treasure vaults, places many people were desperate to conquer.
I still had no idea where this world was, why I had come here, or why I had become a Dungeon Master.
For now, I decided to put out the immediate fire.
There were twenty-three hours left until the Wave.
Short if you looked at it one way, long if you looked at it another.
Luckily, I had the Dungeon Gallery as a reliable ally.
There was a huge difference between getting help from the start and fumbling about blindly.
newbie: What should I do first??
Information made people act far more efficiently.
Or rather, it raised your chances of success as high as possible.
magichero: T-t-traps...
dip: Set traps first yeah
humanluvr: Traps are seriously good
no_minions_4_me: Traps <- G.O.A.T. value for the cost
As if speaking with one voice, everyone brought up traps.
humanluvr: There are broadly three ways to defend your dungeon during a Wave.
└humanluvr: 1. Set traps.
└humanluvr: 2. Increase the Dungeon Master's combat power.
└humanluvr: 3. Train Minions.
humanluvr: They all have pros and cons, but you're low-level right now, so you're probably short on Points.
humanluvr: Raising your own stats is risky when you've never even fought before...
humanluvr: Don't hire Minions. Just set traps yeah.
Traps.
They had definitely been the most annoying part of the dungeon roguelikes I'd played.
When I operated the hologram, countless options appeared.
"Dungeon Expansion, Dungeon Theme, Dungeon Minions... Ugh, why's there so much stuff? This UI is complete trash."
It took quite a while to find the trap category.
I thought my eyes were going to fall out.
"Is this it?"
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【Trap Purchase】
【Harpoon Trap (★1)】 - 500P
【Arrow Trap (★1)】 - 500P
【Wire Trap (★1)】 - 500P
【Debuff (Disorientation) Trap (★1)】 - 500P
【Poison Imbuement (★1)】 - 500P
...
...
──────
【New Dungeon Master Bonus】
【When you spend Points for the first time, regardless of category, including traps, weapons, growth……(omitted), the Points spent will receive ten times their normal value.】
I currently had 5,000 Points on hand.
I assumed the stars represented a trap's rank.
Still, why did they all look so crude?
"I should ask for recommendations."
There was something called the New Dungeon Master Bonus.
With a bonus like this, the order you bought things in mattered.
I went back to the Dungeon Gallery to ask the Veterans again.
Huh?
golemking: But I don't recommend traps.
golemking: Agile or alert creatures are surprisingly good at avoiding traps.
golemking: Once one activates, you can't use it again until the Wave ends... And if it gets destroyed, those Points are just gone.
golemking: You can probably only buy low-rank traps right now anyway, so I think it'd be better to hire Minions yeah.
golemking: If you hire Automatic Puppet-type Minions, it solves all the problems people worry about. newbie, trust me just once and buy a Golem instead...?
└dip: But Automatic Puppets are all expensive...
└golemking: Set your Dungeon Theme to Steampunk and that solves it.
└dip: Picking a Dungeon Theme already is a bit much. It's standard to gather Points first and choose later. Plus, Automatic Puppets come with their final stats when you hire them, so you can't raise them at all. Their performance is kind of questionable.
└golemking: Are you seriously disrespecting Steampunk and Automatic Puppets right now???
└dip: Honestly, I think the Winter Theme and Undead crush them lol.
└golemking: ?
└golemking: It's fucking ridiculous hearing that from a dungeon noob who almost got scrubbed by Dwarves lol. Just get lost, you bastard~
└dip: ?
└dip: Why are you swearing, you fucker? lol Last time, against the humans, you...
……
…….
I'd only stepped away for a moment, and they were suddenly having a flame war among themselves?
The obscenities flying back and forth were too filthy to repeat. It was so wholesome it was practically scorching.
newbie: Guys, calm down...
I wondered if I should summon an administrator or something.
└humanluvr: Just ignore them. They make up later yeah.
└no_minions_4_me: So, did you buy traps??
The other Veterans brushed it off like it was normal.
The head mod had described the Dungeon Gallery as a friendly place.
Watching them fight like that, though, it did not seem entirely true.
Anyway.
I uploaded a picture.
newbie: Which of these is good??
└humanluvr: They're all useful when you don't have many Points.
└humanluvr: Their names all look crude, but they're bigger than you'd think. Against Goblins, one trap can take out eight at once.
└humanluvr: Wire Traps are a little weak, but their range is really wide. They get better when combined with poison.
└humanluvr: The number of creatures that can enter a dungeon is determined by the Dungeon Master's level. Hold on a sec~~~
└humanluvr: From level 1 to 20, the maximum number of invaders per Wave is ten.
└humanluvr: Even if the maximum enters, five traps will be more than enough.
└humanluvr: As long as no Trolls show up yeah...
Trolls.
The head mod had mentioned them, and now this Veteran kept talking about how strong they were.
└newbie: Are they that strong?
└humanluvr: Their regeneration is difficult to deal with.
└humanluvr: You have to kill them in one blow before they regenerate, or stop their regeneration altogether. There basically aren't any low-level purchases that can do that.
That sounded a little ominous.
If a Troll showed up right away, wasn't I just dead?
└humanluvr: Trolls are rare. Your dungeon hasn't even existed for a full day yet.
└humanluvr: Don't worry too much.
└newbie: Then I'm curious about something.
└newbie: Goblins and Trolls are living creatures that eat and poop, right?
└humanluvr: Yeah, of course.
└humanluvr: But why?
└newbie: Nah, I was just curious.
└newbie: Then why are you telling me not to hire Minions?
It was something I'd been wondering about.
Wouldn't they be insanely useful?
There was a reason cash-strapped, exploitative small businesses kept hiring people.
It was to dump work that was difficult and annoying for me onto someone else.
The comparison was a bit of a stretch, of course.
Still, wasn't it more efficient to work as a group than alone?
I'd be getting Minions to do the hard work for me.
If they weren't that much more expensive than traps, wouldn't hiring Minions be more profitable?
└no_minions_4_me: Have you ever raised an animal?
└newbie: Nope.
It had been hard enough just keeping myself fed.
I remembered loving my friend's dog, but I'd never had a pet of my own.
└no_minions_4_me: To explain simply.
└no_minions_4_me: First, you have to feed them, clean up their poop, and take them for walks or play with them regularly so they don't get stressed.
└no_minions_4_me: But what if you can't do that?
└no_minions_4_me: Then they'll growl and try to bite you, right?
└no_minions_4_me: It wouldn't matter if they were as small as puppies lol.
└no_minions_4_me: But Minions that guard a dungeon need to be strong by default. There's no reason to raise them if they aren't. If they're strong, they might turn on you and end up strangling you.
Ah.
So Minions weren't creatures who worked diligently for twenty-four hours without pay?
└no_minions_4_me: And what if that Minion is intelligent?
└no_minions_4_me: That's when the absolute worst happens.
└no_minions_4_me: You'll understand if you see this.
no_minions_4_me left a link in a comment.
I clicked it, and a post appeared before my eyes.
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Title: This Dungeon Guy Is Seriously Fucked...
Author: elelele
That human Minion bastard I mentioned before brought all the other Minions with them, and now they're revolting right outside my door. What do I do...
No, fuck... I kept explaining that the Magic Stone in my dungeon was no different from my life, but didn't I say they kept demanding it as wages??
I kept telling them to fuck off and even beat them, but instead of getting the message, they started a coup... Fuck, I have to fight them now, so no questions. You guys should never hire and raise intelligent bastards like humans...
Fuck, my dungeon life...
*Comments
golemking: Is this person alive...
dip: They completely stopped being active after this.
orange★: May they rest in peace.
no_minions_4_me: May they rest in peace.
...
...
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After reading that post, I made a promise.
I would never hire Minions unless I absolutely had to.
└no_minions_4_me: We call that "Got Revolutionized."
└no_minions_4_me: Honestly, raising Minions is easier than raising the Dungeon Master themself, you know?
└no_minions_4_me: The System makes that more efficient, but don't create Minions you can't control from the start. Pro tip.
└no_minions_4_me: Like golemking said, there are Minions without egos or biological functions, such as Automatic Puppets and Undead.
└no_minions_4_me: But those Minions are expensive in Points by default and have drawbacks. It's better not to pick any before you choose a Dungeon Theme.
└newbie: What's a Dungeon Theme?
└no_minions_4_me: It's a System that makes certain Minions, Traps, and Skills cheaper, or adds new ones depending on the theme. You choose one later on.
└no_minions_4_me: There are tons of them, like Winter, Death, Chaos, Hell, Ancient, Cave, Sea, Kingdom, Mine, Steampunk, and so on.
└no_minions_4_me: It doesn't really matter unless you're planning to pick a Minion or Trap from a specific theme right away, so you can take your time thinking about it. You can barely buy any theme Minions or Traps with 5,000 Points anyway, and even those are trash.
I see.
It all made perfect sense.
└no_minions_4_me: Anyway, if I were you, I'd lay traps as a foundation, focus the rest of your Points on growing yourself, and only hire Minions when you truly feel you need them.
└no_minions_4_me: Choose a theme once you've built up around fifty thousand Points. Since you also have the New Dungeon Master Bonus, put Points into your stats first.
Maybe it was nothing more than someone else's problem.
Still, I was grateful that they took time out of their day to explain everything so carefully.
newbie: Thank you so much for telling me. If I stop the Wave and survive for a long time, I'll definitely repay you.
└humanluvr: So what race is newbie-chan??
└newbie: I'm human yeah.
└humanluvr: Gasp!!!???
└humanluvr: N e w b i e.
└humanluvr: C a n w e b e f r i e n d s????
humanluvr's way of talking had become strange.
So that was the "human scum" in humanluvr's name.
└no_minions_4_me: We'll forgive our newbie even if you're human scum, yeah...
└newbie: Heh...
It looked like humans were treated as human scum in this world too.
└newbie: Guys, can I ask just one last question?
└humanluvr: O f c o u r s e, N e w b i e!
└no_minions_4_me: Yeah.
└golemking: Yeah.
└dip: Yeah.
When did these bastards get here?
└dip: We came back after making up.
└op_ghost: Fight sex make up fight sex make up fight sex make up fight sex make up
└golemking: We didn't have sex, you bitch.
Anyway.
Following the Veterans' advice was probably the correct approach, but the biggest problem was that I couldn't deal with a Troll if one appeared.
So I came up with a somewhat groundbreaking idea.
I asked the Veterans what they thought about it.
└no_minions_4_me: Huh????
└orange★: Oh, this is honestly surprising.
└golemking: I think... it might work.
└dip: You could theoretically kill a Troll with this??
└op_ghost: You're the first bastard I've seen try to burn all your starting Points on that...
└whaleyeah: Exquisite.
└psychward_mvp: That's insane.
└sealedphilo: Wow, what? Are you a genius?
└sealedconq: Agreed.
└magichero: Woooow... C-c-could you reply to me just once...?
└newbie: I replied!
└magichero: Th-th-thank you!!!!
└kingslayer: Hmm... Is this the average Dungeon Gallery newbie??
└anonbutcher: Good idea.
└humanluvr: O u r N e w b i e i s s m a r t!
The response wasn't too bad.
Footnotes:
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