WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Ceaseless

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◈ The Dungeon Gallery's Terrifying Newbie ◈

Chapter 9: Making a Fuss

──────

【Dungeon Theme - Anomaly】

【Protect your dungeon with things you cannot understand.】

A Dungeon Theme, Anomaly.

It definitely lived up to its Hidden-grade rating.

I watched the drowned Hobgoblin's corpse through the camera.

Could I even call that a corpse? It was such a horrific end that I could not put it into words.

I'd streamed it live through the surveillance cameras, but near the end, I just turned the screen away. Ugh, it made my stomach turn.

"When am I supposed to clean that up...?"

I sighed softly.

Before checking my rewards, I looked around the dungeon through the surveillance cameras.

"The Debuff Traps are completely wrecked, and... geez."

The newly installed Anomaly-theme traps were still intact.

But the early traps that had worked so well against the Trolls were all broken.

The more intelligent they were, the more troublesome they became. I could really feel it now.

The gallery users said traps did not work well against intelligent beings like humans.

If Hobgoblins were already this troublesome... I wanted to avoid encountering them if possible.

It was a shame about the Points I'd invested early on, but...

【Living Maze Generator (★2)】

【Price : 25000P】

【Tags : Anomaly, Immortality, One-Time Use】

【Upon detecting an intruder, it generates a maze in the designated area. The maze's size is determined by the area's length. The maze recognizes intruders as prey. It repeatedly performs digestive movements until its hunger is satisfied.】

Honestly, if someone asked whether I regretted it that much, I didn't.

After all, I had a powerful Anomaly-theme trap waiting by my side.

The one that had put in a stellar performance during this Hobgoblin Wave.

You could tell just from the tags, but it even had Immortality.

Immortality meant it could not be destroyed.

According to the Veterans, it was a tag you only saw on high-grade items.

Nice.

Hidden was truly something you could trust.

To my past self who chose the Anomaly theme.

You've got talent. Keep being a Dungeon Master.

Anyway.

"My precious Debuff Traps... Rest peacefully in the afterlife now."

I'd made it this far thanks to those little guys, who had now gone to heaven.

I respectfully put my hands together and prayed for their souls.

Trolls and Goblins had boldly visited Dreamland as guests a few times, and each time, the Debuff Traps had played a major role.

I had barely managed to get the Anomaly-theme traps before this Wave.

I did not know why, but even though I tended to receive more rewards than others, the number of Points they cost was ridiculous.

And after that first time, the difficulty had never been rated as Very Hard again.

I looked away from the monitor and stood up from my chair.

It was about time to clean the dungeon.

Sadly, the dungeon did not clean up the trash intruders left behind on its own.

Since I had no Minions, I had to clean it all myself.

Corpses, excrement, ugh, fuck...

"I really want to hire a Minion..."

I climbed aboard Vroom-Vroom, an Anomaly-exclusive motorcycle cart I'd bought for 100 Points.

I was currently in the Core Room. You know, the room I mentioned had purple metal embedded in it.

There were surveillance cameras throughout the dungeon.

The monitors connected to those cameras were right here in the Core Room.

I had not paid Points to buy them.

As soon as I chose the theme, they appeared in the Core Room with a ta-da.

Before, I had to operate a hologram to monitor the dungeon. Now I could see everything just by looking at the monitors, which was much more convenient.

When I started the engine, the motorcycle rumbled and sped forward.

There was no Living Maze because the Wave had not started yet, but the passageways were still long enough that I needed a vehicle.

"If I didn't have Vroom-Vroom, I probably wouldn't finish cleaning before the next Wave..."

I felt it every time I drove through the dungeon.

Even though I knew its entire layout, it still felt long enough to give me chills. For intruders visiting for the first time, it would not be strange if they went mad.

If I were an intruder, I'd never set foot in Dreamland.

I was not trying to put down the other Veterans' dungeons, but even I thought this place felt unpleasant.

Anyway.

The dungeon's layout was roughly like this.

│Core Room (Magic Stone & Computer Room)│

━━━━

│Passageway│

│Passageway│

│Passageway│

│Passageway│

│Passageway│

│Passageway│

│Passageway│

│Maze Generator│

━━━━

│Entrance│

It was longer than it was elaborate.

Around the middle of the passageway, I found the Hobgoblins' corpses.

"Ah, I really fucking don't want to do this..."

I operated the hologram.

I should browse the gallery to soothe this miserable feeling.

──────

Title: Whoa, Did a Mythic-Grade Minion Show Up?

Author: newbie

My dungeon got dirty today.

They turned into corpses in an instant while I was stopping the Wave.

It's so annoying, gross, and smelly. I don't want to do it.

I'm worried I might throw up while cleaning.

It's so, so, so hard. You can take my life if you want.

Please, someone clean my dungeon.

*Comments

Cyber Gladiator: ?

whaleyeah: ?

magichero: ?

tvhead: ?

squintychar: @antqueen

squintychar: You fucker, newbie learned something weird because of your kids.

└antqueen: Why is this my fault...

psychward_mvp: newbie's adaptability is fucking top-tier... That's it... That's how you do it...

humanluvr: Our newbie is getting better at jokes too, hehe!!

──────

I held back from taking a picture and posting it because the head mod might temporarily ban me for posting graphic content.

But then...

no_minions_4_me: What cleaning?

sealedconq: Dunno.

anonbutcher: Are you talking about cleaning up intruders?

op_ghost: Whoa...

worldiscold: Please clean up the elves too, ffs...

Why were these people reacting like this?

newbie: You guys don't clean your dungeons?

└no_minions_4_me: We do, yeah.

└newbie: Then why are you reacting like that...

└no_minions_4_me: Cleaning isn't that hard... Just have a slime do it with one click. o_o

What?

sealedphilo: LMAOOOOOO Did this bastard seriously clean the dungeon by hand until now??

└magichero: S-s-s-smart newbie... Surely not...

└humanluvr: Pure newbie is adorable too... Ugh... Come into big sis's arms already!!

No.

Guys?

newbie: Fuck, you guys never told me...

└orange★: Stop being such a finger princess. Makes me want to flick your forehead...

└dip: Back in my day, we spent Points figuring out what the features did...

└3mhamster: Tsk... Young punks these days are no good...

But still.

newbie had worked so hard trying to clean up before every Wave until now.

no_minions_4_me: You could've asked...

humanluvr: W E A B S O L U T E L Y A D O R E O U R N E W B I E

└newbie: T_T...

If someone asked why I cleaned when intruders would just come and make the place dirty again, I'd ask them why they lived when they were going to die anyway.

Cleanliness was fundamental to life.

"Though it's really because I don't have much to do besides browse the gallery..."

My world had crumbled today.

Passing time was one thing, but wasted effort was another.

To think I could have cleaned this enormous dungeon with a single click and a slime.

Ugh, my stomach suddenly hurt.

orange★: So how did you clean up until now?

└newbie: I gathered the trash, including corpses, and threw it into a pit outside the dungeon...

└orange★: ?

└cowhead: ?

└humanluvr: ?

└no_minions_4_me: ?

What was with everyone's reactions?

└orange★: You can go outside your dungeon...? ★★★No replies below this except from newbie★★★

└newbie: Yeah...

Hadn't I mentioned it on the gallery before?

I definitely made a post about cleaning because I hated Troll and Goblin corpses piling up in the dungeon.

Ah, had I only briefly said I'd finished cleaning back then?

└orange★: That's possible?

└newbie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

└orange★: You're really one baffling newbie, aren't you?

└newbie: Why are you being scary? T_T...

└orange★: No, sorry, sorry... I'm not trying to insult you. Dungeon Masters basically can't leave their dungeons... I got worked up and said it like that.

Could it be that all these Veterans...

Were shut-ins who couldn't leave their dungeons?

They seemed to know all sorts of things about this world from the gallery.

So I naturally assumed they could leave their dungeons like I could.

I rubbed my chin.

It had been a long time since I'd seen the head mod keep users in line like this.

It seemed to be true.

For a while, no more comments came from the head mod.

A moment later.

└orange★: I think of you as one of us too.

└newbie: Out of nowhere?

└orange★: Hey, let me finish first.

└newbie: Okay, okay, sorry.

└orange★: I mean, it's not that I don't believe you, but what you just said is such a shock to the existing users, including me... It feels like you've completely broken all the rules we knew, you know?

└orange★: Could you verify it somehow?

└orange★: And I hope this doesn't make you feel too bad.

Ah.

The head mod was more considerate than they seemed.

Whenever Ant Ham or Chief Patient Ham caused trouble, the head mod would hand out temporary bans without hesitation, so I'd thought they were a heartless, cold-blooded bastard.

└newbie: It's fine, it's fine. I get it.

└newbie: I'll go take a picture outside right now and post it.

└orange★: Okay, okay. Sorry. ★★★You can make a fuss now★★★

└psychward_mvp: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, is this real???

└whaleyeah: A legendary situation has occurred!! A legendary situation has occurred!! A legendary situation has occurred!!

└antqueen: Wow... I knew you were unusual, but I had no idea it was to this extent... Yeah...

└Night Crow: LMAOOOOOO Whoa, whoa, whoa...

└magichero: N-n-n-newbie, could you reply to me just once more...?

└no_minions_4_me: Is this for real?

└anonbutcher: You're an amazing one in so many ways...

└humanluvr: newbie, T_T Want to come meet big sis??

...

...

Comments began erupting like a volcano.

The hand that had been about to type naturally rose to scratch my head.

"At this point, I'm getting scared too."

I closed the hologram window.

Then I started the motorcycle and headed outside the dungeon.

Footnotes:

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