WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Malfoid
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◈ The Dynamics of Pure Love and Overprotection ◈
Chapter 10
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* * *
After I started attending Sangheon University, I felt grateful to myself for doing well on the College Scholastic Ability Test (CSAT), to Kang Uihyeon for being only five years older than me, and to our country for its mandatory conscription system. Thanks to that, I could spend even one year at the same university as Kang Uihyeon.
The first good thing about attending the same university as Kang Uihyeon was that I could run into him anywhere on campus. When I rushed over to greet him, he welcomed me warmly, and I could show people just how close we were.
There was something even better than all those advantages combined. It was when Kang Uihyeon came looking for me first. Like now, when he appeared at my classroom door, picked me out at once with his eyes, and beckoned me over. I held my head high, and the corners of my mouth curled up. It didn't matter how hurt I had felt because of him over the past few days.
“Your Principles of Economics exam is on Friday, right?”
Kang Uihyeon held out a thick stack of paper. A quick look showed that it was probably notes he had taken on his tablet and printed out.
“I found these yesterday. Look them over before the exam.”
My eyes, brimming with emotion, lifted to Kang Uihyeon. Hearing that he had dug through materials from his freshman year because he had thought of me made something hot surge inside me. Yesterday, I had been upset that he treated me like a child, yet today I was already grinning because he was looking after me like this.
My mind, steeped in unrequited love for so long, slipped into delusion again. If Kang Uihyeon and I had been the same age, would I have gotten to experience things like this sooner? Sharing the same school uniform, staying in the same classroom, our eyes occasionally meeting, sitting close together in the library under the excuse of studying for exams...
But there was absolutely no chance of that becoming reality, so I went to an all-girls middle school and high school without a second thought.
“What are you doing after your exam?”
Before I could even thank him, Kang Uihyeon asked another question. Han Jio immediately came to mind. The oblivious man who had messaged to ask whether I got home safely, even though he had practically been chased away the night before.
“I’m going to an exhibition with Jio oppa.”
Wearing an indifferent expression like a mask, I let the information out in a clear voice.
“It’s at Ttukseom Art Museum, and I heard it’s fun. He said we should meet at eleven on Saturday.”
There was no particular change in Kang Uihyeon’s expression. Maybe meeting Han Jio in front of my house in the middle of the night was the only thing that could get on his nerves. A daytime date probably didn't matter to him at all.
“Then what are you...”
“Oh? Hyung!”
Just as I was about to casually probe whether he was seeing Jeong Sujin over the weekend, an unwelcome voice interrupted. Baek Jungyeong stuck his grinning face in.
“I was just about to contact you, hyung. We decided to go on an MT trip to Daeseong-ri next week after exams. You should come too.”
“What would a fossil like me do there?”
“Come on, where are you going to find a fossil as fresh as you? Attendance will be higher if a popular guy like you comes. Please come. Yeah? Yeah?”
Baek Jungyeong, utterly oblivious to his place, put on a disgustingly cutesy act. Kang Uihyeon laughed lightly and shook his head before looking at me.
“Are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
I shrugged, avoiding a clear answer. What I really wanted was to ask Kang Uihyeon if he was going. If he went, I would go too. And if he didn't, of course I would skip it.
“If Chaewon goes, I’ll go too.”
Kang Uihyeon’s hand rested briefly on my shoulder before falling away. Having finished what he came for, he turned and walked off without another word. I hugged the exam materials to my chest and watched his retreating back.
“You’ll come, right?”
Baek Jungyeong nudged my arm and pressed me for an answer. I frowned and took a step back. I hated it when anyone besides Kang Uihyeon kept touching me.
“We need to keep Uihyeon hyung away from his girlfriend for at least one day.”
But Baek Jungyeong, who had no sense of the situation or anyone’s mood, followed that irritating touch with an even more irritating topic.
“They’re not dating.”
“Sure, sure. She’ll be his girlfriend soon.”
It seemed like he was only good at getting on people’s nerves. Instead of answering, I turned sharply away. I was tempted by what he said about separating Kang Uihyeon and Jeong Sujin for a day, but my pride wouldn't let me agree so eagerly.
“Hey, Yu Chaewon. They say there’s no friendship between a man and a woman as long as there’s alcohol and nighttime.”
Baek Jungyeong trailed after me, spouting an unfunny saying.
“You never know. Uihyeon hyung might start seeing you differently.”
I put the materials Kang Uihyeon had given me down on my desk with a thud and glared at the annoying gnat. Baek Jungyeong flinched, yet still shamelessly perched himself on my desk.
“When people’s surroundings change, their feelings change too. I’m giving you this advice because I feel bad for you as a real friend, Chaewon. No matter how hard you keep coming on to him around school, you’ll stay right where you are.”
Baek Jungyeong deserved applause for his persistence. My lips parted. I tried to stay cool and act like such advice didn't shake me, but in the end, my turbulent feelings spilled onto my face.
“...I’ll go.”
My voice was so quiet it was nearly inaudible, but Baek Jungyeong didn't miss it. He clenched both fists and shook them wildly in front of my face.
“Yes! Then I’ll put down both your name and Uihyeon hyung’s, okay?”
Once the leech-like Baek Jungyeong returned to his seat, I flipped through the materials Kang Uihyeon had given me and worried at my lip. I wanted to take back my answer because it felt like I had fallen completely for such a shallow trick.
Still, I wanted a new chance, just like Baek Jungyeong had advised. Kang Uihyeon wasn't dating Jeong Sujin yet. I still had time to squeeze into the gap between them. I wanted to make sure their flirtation ended as nothing more than flirtation.
At the same time, my pride kept telling me to stay still. It said that even without Jeong Sujin, Kang Uihyeon would never see me as a woman. It told me to stop making a fool of myself and think about setting my heart on Han Jio instead. That was how I should respect myself.
Fuck. I had no idea what I wanted to do either.
* * *
My first exams at university had not gone badly. I thought I had done fairly well, though I only judged myself modestly because I had no sense of how much effort would earn what kind of grade.
On Saturday morning, after my exams were over, I spent thirty minutes fixing my hair while glancing at my phone. All my attention was fixed on it in case Kang Uihyeon contacted me.
With that excellent memory of his, he couldn't have forgotten that I was going on my first date with a man today. I had expected a string of nagging messages, but Kang Uihyeon had shown no reaction at all for days.
Just as I picked up my lip tint, my phone finally vibrated. I immediately checked the screen, but it was only a message from Han Jio saying he was leaving now. Disappointed, I sent a halfhearted reply and packed my bag.
The meeting place was practically right in front of my house, so I could have taken my time. Still, I got ready to leave early again today. My mother, sitting blankly, was reflected in the transparent partition door. I hated being in the same space as my dead mother so much it gave me chills, but whenever I left like this, a faint guilt wrapped around my ankles, as though I were leaving her behind alone. Sometimes, it felt as if my mother, coiled up on the living room sofa, was endlessly waiting for me and only me.
Actually, I liked staying home. It might have been my natural disposition, but it had probably grown worse because Kang Uihyeon used to visit so often. It had been more fun to tag along with Kang Uihyeon and Yu Dogyeom as they ordered chicken than to go around trying trendy food with my friends.
But Yu Dogyeom had been drifting from one lover’s home to another for three years, Kang Uihyeon had stopped coming to our house, and I had to live with my dead mother, just the two of us. If I didn't want that, I had no choice but to go out.
When I arrived at the museum after walking there slowly, goosebumps rose on my arms as though I had spotted a ghost. The familiar doll-like figure standing at the entrance while looking at her phone noticed me too, her eyes widening in surprise.
“Oh, Chaewon.”
It was Jeong Sujin.
“Are you here to see the exhibition too, Chaewon?”
Unlike me, frozen in surprise, Jeong Sujin came toward me with a bright smile. Her fresh pink pants and white bag suited the spring weather perfectly. And I could easily guess that she had not come to see the exhibition alone.
“Yes. Are you here for the exhibition too, unnie?”
“Yeah. Uihyeon oppa said he’d be here soon. It’s funny running into you like this.”
See? I knew it. Looking at Jeong Sujin’s cheerful smile, I carefully controlled the curve of my lips. I was afraid I might let out a bitter laugh otherwise. It was ridiculous. I had come out to go on a date with a man I didn't even like, only to end up watching the man I had loved unrequitedly my whole life flirt with another woman.
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