WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Malfoid
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◈ The Dynamics of Pure Love and Overprotection ◈
Chapter 17
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It was a request whose meaning anyone could see through. Beneath it was the brazen demand that he stay at my house until we performed the ancestral memorial rite and Mom calmed down.
Kang Uihyeon only placed a piece of rolled omelet on my plate without answering. Still, it was easy to tell from the way he ate in silence that he was thinking it over. If something was impossible, he was the sort of person who firmly said no from the start.
The phone on the table vibrated briefly. He quickly sent a reply, then resumed eating. Someone naturally came to mind.
“Are you still not dating Ms. Jeong?”
Kang Uihyeon's chopsticks stopped. I knew I had chosen a topic that made us both uncomfortable, but I didn't back down. It had been nearly two months since their blind date, so it was about time they moved on to the next step. Considering some people started dating on the very day they met, Kang Uihyeon and Ms. Jeong were moving at a snail's pace.
“Why do you call her Ms. Jeong?”
Instead of answering, Kang Uihyeon asked something pointless. I chewed my omelet and frowned.
“It's respectful.”
It was also my own desperate attempt not to hate the innocent Jeong Sujin. If anyone was at fault, it was Kang Uihyeon, who knew every corner of my feelings and still hadn't cut me off properly. Ms. Jeong was a perfect third party in this relationship. I had only lived twenty years, but I had no intention of getting into some sordid romantic feud like a villainous supporting character in a drama.
“Calling her unni is respectful too.”
“That sounds too close.”
I respected Ms. Jeong as a person, but I didn't want to be close to her. Nothing was more disgusting than that kind of hypocrisy.
“It's enough if I call her unni to her face. What business is it of yours what I call her behind her back? It's not like I speak informally to her.”
I didn't bother mentioning that every time I said unni, I felt like biting my tongue.
“You have no problem calling Han Jio oppa.”
This time, my chopsticks stopped. Kang Uihyeon calmly continued eating, as though he hadn't considered the impact of what he had just said at all. His neat face gave no clue why he had suddenly brought up Han Jio.
Could he be jealous? Or was he simply displeased by the way I was only stiff with Ms. Jeong? The latter was probably more likely. But I was excellent at interpreting things however I pleased. So this time too, I decided to believe that Kang Uihyeon was deeply bothered by Han Jio because of me.
“Didn't you do a background check on Jio oppa?”
Though he had just called me out over what I called Han Jio, I deliberately said “Jio oppa.” Kang Uihyeon narrowed one eye. He had noticed the contest of wills I was picking with him.
“He seemed fine.”
“Jio oppa?”
“Yeah. He studies fairly hard, he has a clean dating history, and he has a decent reputation among his classmates. There's nothing to fault.”
Kang Uihyeon listed Han Jio's good points one after another. But his face was completely devoid of warmth, nothing like someone praising another person.
“So I have no excuse to keep you apart.”
That's the problem, Kang Uihyeon added quietly. There was a bitter edge to his last words.
“Then you can't say anything if I date Jio oppa, can you? I'd be dating a man without a single flaw.”
I should have known to be satisfied and back off by then, but I kept pressing Kang Uihyeon about what he really thought. I certainly had a talent for wearing people out.
He set down his spoon completely. Somehow, it felt as if the strength had drained from his broad shoulders, which made the dining chair look too small for him.
“Do you really like Han Jio, or do you just want to date someone?”
Kang Uihyeon had gone straight for the heart of the issue I had been dragging out. It was a good attempt, but it wasn't the right question. He should have asked whether I really liked Han Jio, or whether I was using him as a substitute because I wanted to date Kang Uihyeon but couldn't.
I glared at Kang Uihyeon for a moment. It irritated me immensely that he treated my feelings as those of an immature child when there was no way he could not know. My mood was serious, gloomy, and heavy, but because I had openly loved Kang Uihyeon for so long, people tended to take my affection lightly. The object of my devotion was no exception.
“I want to date someone.”
I lied. I left out the specific words “with Kang Uihyeon” at the beginning of the sentence. Whenever I said something close to a confession, he answered me with suffocating silence. We were supposed to spend the night together today, so I couldn't let things become awkward again. I had to hold it in.
“If that's it, hold back for a while. I'll find you a better man than Han Jio. For now, just focus on your studies.”
“I don't want to.”
At my brazen answer, Kang Uihyeon let out a short breath, as if he couldn't believe me.
“Do you still think I'm preparing for college entrance exams? Focus on your own love life. Stop making all these women suffer.”
If he would only date me, a lot of people could be at ease. But he insisted on taking the difficult road around it. His willingness to put up with all that trouble seemed like a declaration that he would never get involved with me that way, and it left my heart in pieces. Knowing how hurt I was, Kang Uihyeon still left me like this, and that hurt me all over again. The pain from being cut by broken glass was nothing.
I hated the word self-pity because it sounded so pathetic, but it was the only phrase that could define how I felt right then. I was sickened by myself.
* * *
After dinner, while Kang Uihyeon showered in the bathroom, I wandered around the house. Mom was still nowhere to be seen. When I had begged her to leave, she hadn't budged, but now she had been gone for nearly three hours.
Did she really disappear? Without saying anything...
I stopped there when I realized I was feeling disappointed. I found the existence of my dead mother creepy and exhausting, but over the past three years, I must have unconsciously come to accept her as my roommate. She was the only family waiting for me in a house without Dad or my brother.
For the first time, I sat where Mom always did. It took a lot of courage for me.
The sofa wasn't cold or chilling like I had imagined. It was merely lukewarm, like any other inanimate object. The leather was smooth, without a single sign of wear. The sofa remained just a sofa, and the unwelcome guest who had occupied it had disappeared without a trace.
Click. The bathroom door opened. Warm steam billowed out. The same scent of shampoo I had used earlier followed along after it.
Kang Uihyeon came out wearing his friend's clothes, then stopped when he saw me sitting on the sofa. His gaze searched the empty space around me. It seemed like he was looking for something he couldn't see.
“Oppa.”
I rubbed my palm against the leather of the sofa as I spoke. I had wondered how I should tell him while he was showering, but the words came easily when I saw him.
“Mom disappeared.”
“...Your mother?”
The response came a little slowly, perhaps because it was startling news even for Kang Uihyeon.
“I looked everywhere, but she's nowhere.”
I had searched even the pantry and utility room. Just in case, I had opened the front door and looked down the hallway too.
“She was here when I got home, but I haven't seen her since I came out of the shower.”
Kang Uihyeon looked around with an awkward expression. Most of my problems started with living alongside my dead mother, so it would have been a good thing if she had disappeared for good. But I wasn't happy at all. Strength drained from my fingertips, and an emotion close to loneliness came rushing in.
“Let's wait and see tonight.”
At least Kang Uihyeon didn't tactlessly celebrate and say it was a good thing. I added one more reason to the list of why I couldn't help loving him.
“Don't think about it anymore tonight. Get some sleep early.”
Kang Uihyeon gently took my elbow and helped me up. I lingered by the sofa Mom had disappeared from, unable to let go, then dragged my feet into my room. He even helped me lie down on the bed. I had only scraped a few spots of skin, but I shamelessly accepted his care.
“I'm not sleepy yet.”
It wasn't even eight in the evening. Even a nursing baby would be wide awake at this hour. Looking up at Kang Uihyeon, I patted the bed.
“Sit here. Talk to me.”
Kang Uihyeon only looked at the spot I pointed to without coming closer. He pretended not to notice my devoted love, but at times like this, he bristled like a wary hedgehog and pushed me away.
“You said you'd stay the night because you're worried about me. Then you should keep checking to make sure I'm okay.”
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