WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Malfoid
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◈ The Dynamics of Pure Love and Overprotection ◈
Chapter 7
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Baek Jungyeong, who sat at the desk beside mine, leaned toward me. I could see how badly he wanted to get under my skin.
“She isn't his girlfriend yet.”
“They say it's the first time Uihyeon hyung has openly gone around alone with a woman. Isn't that practically a sure thing?”
My grip tightened around my pen. It would only hurt me if I rose to every petty attempt to provoke me, so I tried not to react to Baek Jungyeong.
“Then wouldn't it be better for you to see other guys too? Who knows? Maybe Uihyeon hyung will take an interest in you later.”
Did he think this was only the first or second time I'd heard something like that? It was what people who had watched my unrequited love always said, beating their chests in frustration.
“Take this chance to learn how to win a man's heart too. I've told you again and again, but you have a way of making people sick of you...”
“Jungyeong, why are you so interested in me?”
Baek Jungyeong blinked at my direct question.
“I don't plan on making you sick of me too, so stop picking fights.”
When I met his gaze with a smile, Baek Jungyeong's face flushed red. Perhaps he was nervous about what I might say next, because he anxiously wet his lower lip with his tongue.
“Should I tell you again and again too? Mind your own business. Shut your mouth. Do your own work. Don't give me your pathetic advice.”
I let it all pour out without holding back, then wiped the smile from my face. Baek Jungyeong stared blankly at me, dazed. There was no divider between us, so I raised my middle finger to put his gaze back where it belonged.
Baek Jungyeong was no more mature than an elementary school boy who poked a girl in the cheek because he wanted attention. He was so pathetic and childish that I didn't even want to deal with him, but sometimes I had to press down that stupid head whenever it popped out of its hole. Only then did Baek Jungyeong understand his place and quiet down.
My portfolio consisted entirely of Kang Uihyeon, and adding Han Jio to it had already been more than enough. There was no room left for small fry like Baek Jungyeong.
I sent Han Jio a message thanking him, along with several cute emoticons. Without much effort, the light-blue message window became colorful and sweet.
[Want to have lunch together later?]
That was probably why Han Jio had come all the way to the Management Building today. I readily replied that I would. Since it was a weekday and we had classes, there was a chance I'd run into Kang Uihyeon anywhere. We should eat at the cafeteria.
2. The Line That Was Crossed
My earliest childhood memory began with Kang Uihyeon. More precisely, with Kang Uihyeon reaching both hands out to me.
I had gotten caught up in one of Yu Dogyeom's pranks and trapped in a laundry basket. Unable to climb out with my short, diapered body, I was on the verge of tears. Kang Uihyeon, who had come over to our house that day, saw me like that and immediately offered a helping hand. Held in the arms of a prince on a white horse, I was safely rescued and poured out my sorrow.
And that must have been where my long unrequited love began.
Even when Yu Dogyeom was an elementary school student who played mean pranks on his sister five years younger than him, when he was an adolescent lost in his own world and ignored me completely, and when he was a student preparing for exams and for study abroad, bristling at everything, Kang Uihyeon always smiled kindly at me. Even when my actual brother completely forgot my birthday, Kang Uihyeon was the one who bought me the game console I wanted most.
At first, I wished Kang Uihyeon were my real older brother. Later, I prayed that I would become his first love. The first had been an impossible wish from the start, and the second was now a distant hope, but one thing had not changed. Kang Uihyeon was still by my side.
* * *
I could sense someone inside from the moment I touched the door lock. It was the sound of a person moving around, something I hadn't heard in a long time. The “sometime soon” Yu Dogyeom had mentioned when he said he would stop by must have been today.
When I opened the front door, I had intended to ignore Yu Dogyeom and shut myself away in my room. But when I saw my oppa's back as he stood with his bedroom door wide open, rummaging through his closet, I stopped without meaning to.
I was glad to see another person in this house after months, but I hated that it was my oppa. Even so, I wanted to speak to him, yet my oppa was already preparing to leave as soon as he came home. Anger welled up inside me.
“Are you going out again?”
I forced the confrontational edge out of my voice. I didn't want to fight with my oppa when we hadn't seen each other in so long.
“Yeah.”
Yu Dogyeom didn't even turn around. He only packed up thin summer clothes one by one.
“At least have dinner before you go. I made seaweed soup.”
I put on the voice of a sweet little sister. Kang Uihyeon had worked hard to bring Yu Dogyeom back to this house. I couldn't let my own hurt feelings make his efforts meaningless.
“I have plans.”
But Yu Dogyeom rejected the hand I offered every time. I stood firm in the doorway and swallowed a sigh. They said you had to write the character for patience three times.
“You aren't sleeping here tonight? Stay one night. Have breakfast with me tomorrow before you go.”
“I said I have plans.”
“Fuck.”
In the end, the curse slipped through my lips. I let the temper I'd been suppressing burst out roughly. Only then did Yu Dogyeom turn to look at me.
“Yu Dogyeom, do your job as an oppa. Is all that matters that you eat well and live well? You leave your little sister alone in this house while you're glued to your girlfriend. Are you enjoying life?”
“What the fuck?”
Yu Dogyeom scowled viciously and approached me.
“Who did you just curse at? You don't even see me as your oppa anymore? You think you've grown up a little, so you can disrespect your oppa like this?”
Everything I wanted to say was in the latter part, but Yu Dogyeom fixated on the short curse at the very beginning.
“Your temper is so fucking awful, that's why I don't come home. Try treating me even half as well as you treat Uihyeon. You need to act nice before I feel like being an oppa to you. If you've got a brain, try using it. Stop spitting curses at your oppa.”
I curled my trembling fingers into fists as tightly as I could. My sorrow was choking me, and I was scared of my oppa for getting angry at me. I wanted to run away, lock myself in my room, and cry.
But at the same time, I wanted to give it back to Yu Dogyeom. As much as he had hurt me, I wanted to dig in my nails and rake his insides raw.
“You don't come home because of me? Don't lie.”
I tried to sneer at Yu Dogyeom. I curled up the corners of my lips, but it probably wasn't convincing.
“You're scared to come home because I said Mom was in this house.”
“That's not Mom!”
The veins stood out in Yu Dogyeom's neck.
“Your fucking eyes are the problem! Our mom died three years ago! Stop going on about Mom and go to a fucking psych ward already! How long are you going to keep pulling this shit?”
But no matter how loudly he shouted and swore, he couldn't hide his drained complexion or his trembling eyes.
“Go ask people outside. Everyone calls you a crazy bitch. I don't want to come home because you act like a fucking idiot! When are you going to come to your senses?”
Yu Dogyeom was starting to sound more like he was pleading. He reached out to grab my shoulder, then shuddered and stepped several paces back. It was as though he believed mental illness would spread just from brushing against me.
“You still talk to Uihyeon about Mom, don't you? Aren't you even sorry for our dead mother? Are you trying to use Mom like that to buy sympathy?”
After Yu Dogyeom poured out his rage, all that remained was the sound of his ragged breathing. I would never admit it to my oppa, but even that breath was welcome. It meant there was another living, breathing person in this house besides me.
Yu Dogyeom glared at me as though he wanted to kill me, then turned back to finish packing. As though he had no intention of coming back until the season changed, he grabbed every piece of clothing he could and stuffed it into his suitcase.
“Hey, and don't nag me through Uihyeon.”
Once Yu Dogyeom was finished, he walked toward the door. My oppa twisted his shoulders as he left the room, as though he was afraid even a strand of hair might touch his sister.
“Now that you're grown up, let's each take care of ourselves. How long am I supposed to be responsible for you?”
“What bullshit.”
Yu Dogyeom's eyes widened at my indifferent reply. But that was all. He couldn't give another long speech while spraying spit like before. He knew that no one would even scoff at the claim that he'd been responsible for me.
As Yu Dogyeom opened the front door, he glanced up. The talisman stuck above the door had done nothing at all, only ruining the interior. My oppa ground out a curse between his teeth and slammed the door shut.
As always, Mom was sitting on the living room sofa, staring at me. Had she heard us talking about her? About her having died three years ago, about using her to buy sympathy. But it was all true, so there was nothing I could explain.
What I wanted was the sound of another person, but it had left like the wind. Silence surrounded me as always. In the deafening stillness, I remained alone, constantly turning over the fact that I was alone. Even as the quiet engulfed me like a tidal wave, Mom's gaze clung persistently to me.
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