WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: LilGuyBlastoise
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Economics of an Alchemist ◈
Chapter 15
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At the moment TechPark's provocation went up, the three siblings gathered around the monitor were celebrating as if they had caught a big one.
“Hyung! Noona! Look at this sucker taking the bait. I knew this would happen.”
OldManWhoMills, Jaeseong, now a celebrity on DCOn, cheered. Beside him, Seo-yun did the calculations in her head, then broke into a wide smile.
“This is insane. I think the promotional effect is better than buying an ad on a portal site's main page. If we put a value on it, would it be around 50 million won?”
Jaeha's lips curled up slightly as he ruffled Employee Kim Jae-seong's hair, praising his contribution.
“Good work. I'll make sure your bonus is generous.”
Then Seo-yun suddenly looked at Jaeha with concern.
“But, Oppa. What if people find out later that this was a staged act we planned from the start? If public opinion online turns against us, we won't be able to stop the backlash.”
Jaeseong flinched and his expression hardened.
“Oh, now that you mention it. The people on the board are crazy fast at digging up personal information. What if I accidentally left some kind of clue behind?”
In response to his younger siblings' worries, Jaeha answered calmly.
“There's nothing to worry about. Even if it gets out, it's only a matter of perspective.”
“A matter of perspective?”
“To some people, it might be an obnoxious staged act. But others will see it as an excellent guerrilla marketing strategy that took over a portal site's front page without costing a single won.”
Jaeha picked up the Aegis Case on the desk and continued.
“More importantly, our product isn't a scam. If its overwhelming performance is real, people will happily overlook a little publicity stunt.”
The two siblings were won over by Jaeha's confidence. Relieved smiles spread across their faces.
“Hyung, then when are you going to accept TechPark's challenge?”
“Of course, when public interest reaches its peak and sales preparations for the Aegis Case are fully underway.”
Three days later.
Internet communities everywhere were literally ablaze.
TechPark's declaration of war was the perfect stimulant for community users starving for a fresh topic.
[Summary of the Current Situation on the DCOn Smartphone Gallery]
[TechPark vs. Startup Valence, Will the Showdown of the Century Happen?]
[Could the Aegis Case Really Be Fake?]
Every post that went up saw its views soar. Users argued without pause.
└Does it physically make sense for a jelly case to withstand 1.5 tons? I still don't believe it.
└They said the video was one take. There were supposedly no signs of editing. Isn't TechPark the one reaching?
└Why does it seem real to me?
└You idiots. Isn't it obviously fake? Even the military-spec Outbox gets smashed. I feel sorry for the intelligence of anyone who believes thin jelly can take that.
└If it's real, didn't they grind aliens into the case when they made it?
└An Emille Case?
└Emille, lol.
└I'll believe it if they send TechPark a prototype. But since they're quiet, they'll probably delete the post and bail, lol.
Alien technology or a fabricated stunt by a scam company. Everyone held their breath and waited for Valence to make its move.
Unable to wait any longer, TechPark posted another callout.
[Pointing Out the Flaws in the Fake Case Test Video]
“I am sure Valence saw my comment, yet they haven’t said a word. Just as I expected. They simply do not have the nerve to send a prototype.
At this point, I am convinced this was a publicity stunt planned from the beginning by a startup trying to attract attention.
Let me point out a few carefully hidden flaws in the test video.
First, the drop and stair-fall tests.
If you examine the video frame by frame, the phone repeatedly strikes its corners hard while tumbling down the stairs.
If it were a normal 137 g A-phone 4 with a battery and mainboard inside, that level of impact should have completely destroyed the internal display components.
Yet it is unharmed?
There is a very high chance the phone was an empty dummy.
By removing the internal components and drastically reducing its mass, they used a physical trick to greatly reduce the kinetic energy generated during the fall.
Second, the 1.5-ton SUV crushing test.
This is the most malicious sleight of hand. They likely lowered the tire pressure to its limit, abnormally increasing the contact area and spreading the pressure.
On top of that, they probably used subtle unevenness in the floor beneath the A-phone 4 so that one hundred percent of the tire's weight would not be transferred to the phone.”
TechPark's analysis, which mixed technical terms with plausible physics, was persuasive in its own way.
Many users began to support him.
└Anon: The screen was on after the car drove over it. How could it have been a dummy phone?
└Anon: They secretly switched it while moving through the parking lot, dumbass.
└FoodGalleryUser: Wow, I never even considered that they might have lowered the tire pressure, lol.
└Anon: Damn! As expected, TechPark is here to teach fakers a lesson.
└Anon: Valence, explain yourselves!
└A-PhoneFanCricket: Explain yourselves! Explain yourselves!
As time passed, more and more people dismissed Valence's silence as running away because they had no answer.
When that atmosphere reached its peak, Jaeha finally wrote a post on DCOn.
[We Accept TechPark's Proposal.]
[Author: Valence]
“We apologize for the delayed response. We have been busy preparing mass production for the official launch and setting up distribution through open-market platforms.
We gladly accept TechPark's proposal.
However, we have one condition.
If you only post photos or recorded video on your blog, unnecessary accusations of manipulation may arise, such as cut editing or deliberate damage.
Therefore, we at Valence would like this test to be conducted transparently through a ‘real-time live’ broadcast on internet streaming platforms such as America TV or Doum Pot.
If you are confident enough to test it live without manipulation, please leave us a private message with the address where you would like to receive the product and the broadcast time.
To prevent any advance damage that might occur if you receive it beforehand, we will send the prototype by express courier to arrive as the broadcast begins.”
Valence had thrown down another challenge: test it in a real-time live broadcast, where viewers could watch and there would be no room for excuses.
└Anon: It's here!
└Anon: When is TechPark showing up? This is seriously popcorn time.
└Anon: Fuck, I have to go to cram school... but I can't miss something this good. Sorry, Mom...
└Anon: Where does that confidence come from? Is it really not fake?
└Anon: This board is absolutely on fire today, lol. Let's gooo, showdown of the century!!!
└Anon: Maybe they have at least some confidence in the performance, even if it isn't as good as the video. Honestly, if it does even half of that, I'm definitely buying one.
The message board instantly erupted. Every time someone refreshed the page, dozens of comments came pouring in.
While the users went wild, only one person could not join the excitement: TechPark.
‘How dare they treat me like the same kind of faker? Fine. I'll smash them to pieces, thoroughly.’
A seed of doubt had sprouted within him that perhaps his judgment was wrong, but he forced himself to ignore it. Valence's provocation had struck a raw nerve.
└Anon: What is TechPark doing instead of showing up?
└Anon: Don't tell me he's getting ready to bail?
└Anon: Did he chicken out? Lol.
When users who had changed sides began mocking him, TechPark's face went red as he pounded harshly on his keyboard.
└TechPark: Fine. It is obvious this is a publicity stunt, but I will gladly play along. Tomorrow at 8 PM, I will conduct the test live on my personal America TV broadcast.
The gallery turned into a festival. It was almost as if the users' cheers could be heard beyond the monitors.
└Anon: Holy shit, lol. Live broadcast confirmed. TechPark doesn't back down.
└FoodGalleryUser: Tomorrow, 8 PM. Noted...
└AppleFanboy: Sigh, I have overtime tomorrow. I'll have to sneak off to the bathroom to watch.
└Anon: The showdown of the century is happening! Why can't tomorrow come already? I'm getting dizzy waiting.
└Anon: I came over from another community to watch. This is insanely entertaining, lol.
News of TechPark's live broadcast declaration spread beyond DCOn to other communities in an instant, drawing everyone's attention.
Then came the long-awaited day of the test.
An enormous crowd flooded TechPark's personal America TV channel. Before the actual broadcast even began, the viewer limit for the main stream was full.
Relay Room 1, Relay Room 2, Relay Room 3...
One relay room after another was created. For an IT review broadcast, it was an unprecedented level of attention in America TV's history.
-When does the stream start?
-TechPark, get on already!
-Popcorn ready, lol.
-Let's teach this fake company a lesson~
At last, the “Preparing Broadcast” screen changed, and TechPark stood before the camera with a confident expression.
“Hello, everyone. This is TechPark. Today, for a lesson of the century, I set up a special studio in the underground parking lot near my workshop!”
TechPark turned the camera in a circle to show the surroundings.
The screen captured a cold, hard asphalt floor, a construction ladder, and a heavy SUV parked behind him.
-The scale, damn.
-TechPark's really been gritting his teeth, lol.
-But if Valence agreed to TechPark's proposal, doesn't that mean they're confident too?
-Honestly, this publicity stunt already seems like a success. The planner must be getting a huge bonus.
TechPark held a neatly sealed small box up to the camera lens.
“This was delivered by express courier from Valence just now. They sent it to arrive exactly on time, probably because they were worried I would secretly pull something before starting the broadcast. Now, let's begin with the unboxing.”
He roughly tore open the box and dumped its contents onto a camping table.
Inside were an utterly ordinary-looking transparent jelly case and a one-page summary of test data.
-It really is just a jelly case?
-It looks exactly like the free one they give you at phone shops.
-That thing is supposed to survive being run over by a car? Lol.
-Fuck, do I really have to watch this to the end?
-TechPark, what does the paper say? Please read it!
After scanning the data sheet, TechPark let out a derisive snort.
“I was wondering what sort of experiment data they would send, but it is just one scrap of paper. The precautions here are ridiculous. It says, ‘Unless the display panel is struck directly by a protruding stone or similar object, it perfectly protects the device from everyday drops of up to two meters.’ Everyone! This is the typical trick of scam companies. If a phone breaks later, they have left themselves an excuse to say, ‘It broke because it hit a stone!’”
-Lol, look at them stacking the deck.
-Look at them laying out an excuse in advance, lol.
Riding that momentum, he held up a massive black smartphone case he had prepared.
“This is the Outbox Defender, which boasts the best protection currently available. Its only downside is the price, which has risen to 60,000 won because of the exchange rate, but its performance is truly monstrous.”
-Wow, it looks five times thicker than an iPhone.
-That is basically a tank, lol.
-I think the price is not its only downside, lol.
-Outbox is legit. It has US military-certified specs, so it really doesn't break.
The viewers' reaction made TechPark's voice rise higher and higher.
“But the Valence test data we just saw claims that this jelly case performs at Outbox level? Even an elementary school student would not believe that bullshit. So I prepared these. These are the phones that will be used in today's test. They are all fully functional devices.”
TechPark lined several A-phone 4s across the table.
“We'll start by smashing two right away.”
After fitting phones into the Outbox Defender and the Aegis Case, he climbed the ladder.
“I looked up test results from overseas users, and when the ground is asphalt like this, even the Outbox could not guarantee an A-phone 4's survival. Yet, surpris!ing!ly! this ordinary jelly case supposedly has a twenty percent survival rate from five meters.”
[‘Fake Detector’ has gifted 100 Moon Balloons.]
(You must be having a hard time because of that fake company, haha. Put this toward teaching them a lesson.)
[‘TechParkLover’ has gifted 50 Moon Balloons.]
(I'll chip in too. ^^)
The flashy Moon Balloon effects filling the screen made the chat even more heated.
-Look at those Moon Balloons popping. He'll easily make back the cost of today's A-phones.
-I have no money, so I am cheering with my heart.
-Ah... What a waste, those A-phones are going to get smashed.
-Please throw them away to me instead. ㅠㅠ
TechPark reached the top of the ladder.
“Now, I am dropping them at the same time. Watch closely!”
He released the phones he held in both hands. The two phones sliced through the air and collided with the asphalt.
Crunch! Thud!
A sharp cracking sound and a dull impact echoed through the parking lot.
-I think both of them landed on their corners first?
-Ugh! My heart hurts just watching.
TechPark casually climbed down the ladder, picked up the camera, and went to inspect the fallen phones.
“Now, look! Here is the phone that has been completely smashed...”
TechPark's triumphant words died in his throat. Shock flickered in his eyes.
Two phones lay on the ground.
The phone inside the Outbox Defender had failed to withstand the impact, its front display shattered like a spiderweb.
But the phone lying beside it, fitted with that commonplace jelly case, looked completely unharmed.
-???
-??
-What the fuck!
-Is this real?
-Wow, fuck.
Just as the comment window was flooded with question marks, Jaeha, who had been watching the broadcast, smiled and sent a donation.
[‘Valence’ has gifted 10,000 Moon Balloons.]
(We prepared repair money in case the A-phone 4 fitted with the Aegis Case broke, but the Outbox beat us to it. Put it toward the repair costs and proceed with the next test.)
Footnotes:
“Emille Case?” refers to a Korean legend that a child was sacrificed while casting the Emille Bell, joking that the case was made by grinding an alien into it.
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