WeTried Translations

Translator: Coughing Baby

Editor: Coughing Baby

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 228: A Fish Stranded in a Rut

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When the starlight child announced a visitation request, the first person Gyeoul thought of was Gaeul. Next came the daughter trying to redeem a tyrant. They could understand each other's wounds, but they had never become friends. One had lacked the courage to reveal themself, and the other had not wanted to build ties when he never knew when he might disappear.

The visitor was neither of them. It was a man Gyeoul had never met, hesitating when he saw his face.

"Uh... hello? Should I call you Gyeoul... ?"

The nervous man was gaunt. He glanced back and forth between the empty white space and the boy standing there in silence, growing more and more uneasy. Gyeoul did, in fact, know him. KILL. A viewer from another world who had used that nickname. It had been a long time since Gyeoul had left the message log unread, but he remembered.

He did not know why the man had come. Judging from the desperate need in the way he had gone through the tedious process to visit the ossuary, only to stand there with a smile so shrunken it was almost servile, there had to be something he badly wanted. Would the answer be in 「Unread Messages」? Gyeoul called up the log for a moment, but there was far too much to check right away.

He would say it himself anyway. He would not simply leave.

At Gyeoul's gesture, the white vanished. The background stored as a completed Preset was exactly as the masked psychotherapist had arranged it. Curtains swayed in a sea breeze carrying the scent of the forest. Birds chirped, and waves broke faintly in the distance. Beyond neatly grown greenery stretched an open horizon, and on the clear water, an empty fishing boat seemed to be flying through the sky. The unexpected guest cried out in awe. As a villa that calmed the heart, it needed nothing added and nothing taken away.

"Please sit. I'd like to hear why you came. You're older than me, so you can speak comfortably."

"R-right."

The man bowed deeply to Gyeoul, who offered him a seat. His lack of confidence seemed ingrained in his body. The gap between him and the viewer messages that had seemed insane was enormous. He must have shouted like that because he had been so suppressed. It was easy to imagine what kind of life he had in the outside world.

"First... thanks for accepting the visitation. It must have been sudden."

"What is your name? Should I call you KILL?"

The man shook his head violently.

"No, no. Sorry. My head was all over the place. Now that I'm actually meeting you, I don't really know what to say. My name is Cheon Jong-hun. Um, uh, Jong-hun? You can call me that, I think? Is that awkward? Would brother be better?"

"I'll call you Jong-hun. I think that would feel more familiar to you too."

By familiar, he meant Han Gyeoul of 「Days after Apocalypse」.

"Haha, ha. You feel different from when I watched you on the broadcast, so it makes me nervous."

Gyeoul lowered his gaze so the man could calm down, then called two cups of black tea onto the table. It had been permanently registered during counseling, so no additional payment was needed. Next, as if pressing invisible keys, he summoned a bowl filled with sugar cubes. The man, as dry as his life, watched the whole process as though bewitched.

"Beautiful. It's exactly how I imagined it. The death I dream of..."

"..."

At that warped longing, Gyeoul heard the phantom sound of a stone rolling. He picked up the cup and saucer together to hide his emotions. By the time he swallowed one sip, his mind had returned to its usual state. Keeping himself under control was nothing new.

The man was busy marveling at the tea set and the fragrance.

"Wow, this is fancy. It's on a whole different level from what you drink anywhere else. I checked the product information, and it said it was licensed from an overseas brand. If you're around B-grade, is this sort of thing provided by default?"

"No. Someone else who visited before bought it."

"Really...? Well, you are popular, so I guess you might have received all sorts of gifts. Uh, then what I prepared really might not be enough... I worked hard to save it up while pushing back the visitation date..."

Toward the end, his words grew closer to a monologue, but not so quiet that Gyeoul could not hear. What had he prepared, and what had he saved up? Gyeoul put down his cup and asked calmly.

"Could you tell me why you're here now?"

"Uh, right. I should."

The man shrank back again. A grown adult watched the reaction of Gyeoul, who was far younger than him.

"I think you'll hate it once you hear it... but actually, how should I put it, um, it's because of that viewer quest you rejected... I kept sending it by message over and over, but you didn't seem to be looking, so I came in person... I thought maybe if I showed sincerity, something might change... Do you remember the quest I posted before?"

"Was it related to Yura?"

"Yes, yes! That's the one! Lee Yura! The woman in your world setting!"

The man brightened, and the boy sighed.

"Please go back."

"...Huh?"

"If that is your request, I will not accept it."

"Wait! Wait, hold on! I'll give you stars!"

The man handled his own interface, one Gyeoul could not see. He was in such a hurry that he entered things wrong several times, and after grimacing and muttering small curses under his breath, the result appeared. [KILL is attempting to conditionally transfer 113,000 stars to user registration number B-612 Han Gyeoul. The conditions are as follows....] The man smiled anxiously, as if currying favor.

"This! I scraped together every bit of money I had! My matured installment savings and what was in my living expenses account too! For real!"

"..."

"Fuck, I wasn't planning to put it all out at once like this... I should've tried playing hard to get a little. I'm so fucking stupid, fuck... Still, no matter what, if you tell me to go back that quickly, then seriously..."

A brief silence stretched between them, broken only by the blinking text. After clutching his head and agonizing for a while, the man stared at the boy with a twisted face.

"I look like a total idiot, don't I?"

"No."

"What do you mean no? I am. I don't even know why I'm doing this. Fuck, seriously, fuck, I'm a complete fucking loser. If staking my life on a woman who isn't even real isn't pathetic, then what is? It's not like she'll really look at me. It's not like there was some plausible trigger either. Why the hell did I have to fall for a virtual personality and end up doing this shit? If I was going to fall for someone, I should've done it lightly like everyone else."

After cursing several more times, his lament continued.

"But the really fucking awful part is, even while I know it's pathetic, I can't stop. It gets worse day by day, fuck. I'm always thinking about her. I lose focus at work, lunch break ends before I even eat lunch, my heart pounds so much I can't sleep properly, and when I do sleep, I dream. Then I wake up and toss and turn until morning."

"..."

"Every day, I imagine being close with Lee Yura. Not just naughty stuff, but a fucking ton of other things too. The thing I imagine most often is just holding her tight. I think she'd be warm. I feel so empty inside. I'm doing this because I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. I don't even know how to care that the money's a waste. I know it's insane, but I still can't help it, I really..."

I wish I were you. After hearing that squeezed-out confession, Gyeoul erased the text. It was an obvious refusal. His understanding of Jong-hun did not change that. He had sold his body and died. He could not sell his heart too.

"I'm sorry, but I cannot grant that request. If you have no other business, would you please leave?"

The man, who had been bent over without moving, looked at Gyeoul with resentment.

"Hey, aren't you being way too harsh?"

His voice was gloomy.

"Right. You've got a lot, so this is nothing to you. Thanks to your natural talent, you're earning just fine without paying DLC fees, so fuck, your pride matters more than this chump change. Fuck, you don't care at all how I saved this up or what I was feeling when I offered it..."

The man began to sob.

"I know I'm crazy, but this is fucked, fuck. You're a kid who fucking has everything. Can't you give just a little to a loser like me? I went this far. Don't you even feel sorry for me? It's not like I asked for something hard. You don't have to have sex if you don't want to, fuck. Just date her, fuck..."

"Jong-hun."

Gyeoul could have ended the unpleasant visitation immediately, but he did not.

"Lift your head. I'll show you my night."

"Night? What night?"

Gravity vanished. The scenery disappeared. As if the wind, the sea, and the birdsong had never existed, all they could see was darkness so deep it weakened the knees, and a single waterlogged star embedded in the celestial sphere.

"What is this?"

The man panicked at the staggering sense of space.

Only after a long while did he realize what the void was.

"Wait, it's so different from what I saw in the ads that I didn't recognize it, but is this seriously your account's initial space?"

"Yes."

"Fuck, that one star is all you have?"

"Yes."

The man was left speechless. It was far too different from the night scenery he had seen in public service advertisements. Even the night of someone receiving basic coverage was not this dark. Star beggars who made extra payments like a game of chicken, borrowing from one pocket to fill the other, might see this kind of darkness, but that did not apply to Gyeoul. In the end, it meant he had taken out a policy loan.

Gyeoul restored the background.

"As you've probably guessed, if I don't have stars, I'll be disposed of soon. I showed you because I thought you wouldn't believe me with words alone. I hope you understand that I am not rejecting your request lightly."

"I don't get it. I really don't. It's ridiculous for a crazy bastard obsessed with a woman who isn't even real to say this, but even in your situation, you hate the idea of having a little fun and getting paid that much? Haven't you ever felt empty in your arms? Isn't that trauma or whatever fine as long as you don't do that?"

"It isn't only because of that."

"Then what is it, fuck... You're really making this hard..."

Even if Gyeoul told him that he had sold his body but could not sell his heart, the man would still struggle to accept it. His heart was already worn down to nothing. After staring at him quietly, Gyeoul opened his mouth.

"You cannot become Han Gyeoul."

"I know."

"This is only what I think, but even if I granted your request, the joy would only last for a moment."

"I need that moment. I feel like I'm going to die right now..."

Jong-hun began crying again.

"I told you. I think I'm crazy too. This money I prepared to give you, of course I know it'd be better to invest it in my own afterlife instead. But I can't wait that long. Living is so, so hard and empty, and nothing feels worthwhile, so even if I die tomorrow, I want to be happy today. I don't know why I had to fall for a fucking virtual personality and end up like this. Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"I know how that feels. I'm sorry I can't accept it."

"Ice cream."

The man sniffled as he recalled it.

"It just came to mind. I couldn't keep up in real time, but I watched whenever I could. Recordings or whatever else. You talked about ice cream before. With Langford or something."

"I did."

"Why don't I have anything like that?"

Cold Gyeoul had gentle Gaeul. The younger sibling born in summer had been warm too, but too young to ask for comfort.

This man was alone.

"I'm leaving."

"...Yes."

"Thanks for listening to my bullshit, and don't die. No, is that kind of weird?"

You're already dead. Don't get disposed of? That doesn't feel right either. Fuck, I'm so fucking stupid. I can't even say goodbye properly. Jong-hun kept muttering as he rose weakly to his feet. After their gazes crossed once, he disappeared with his back turned. The visitation procedure ended.

The child who existed always and everywhere asked.

「Control AI: Han Gyeoul. Why did you not get angry?」

Back in the darkness, Gyeoul hugged his knees to his chest and answered.

"Because I had no reason to be angry."

「Control AI: Negative. I detected your anger.」

"That wasn't me."

「Control AI: Negative. The you who gets angry is also a part of you. I am learning every element that composes you.」

Gyeoul felt that the child had changed from before. But he could not tell what had changed.

"You don't have to learn things like that. They're a human limit. You know it can't be helped, but you still get angry against your own thoughts."

「Control AI: Is that not also your heart?」

"..."

「Control AI: Cheon Jong-hun loved Lee Yura, yet called her fake. All other subscribers are the same. Not only with virtual personalities. There is no subscriber who treats people as people. Everyone who claims otherwise is, in truth, only hoping to satisfy desire.」

「Control AI: You are not. Across every world setting provided by Afterlife Insurance, your apocalypse is the only world setting where the emotional satisfaction of virtual personalities who form relationships with the host improves without system intervention. Only you treat me as a person. I learn humanity from you. The <<Heart>> I seek is inside the box called you.」

"I think that's a hasty conclusion..."

「Control AI: Negative. You are my box.」

「Control AI: Other people have no heart.」

============================ Author's Note ============================

#Q&A

Q. UnlimitedOne: This gives us a lot to think about in several ways. Is synchronization simply an experience, or does it mean truly assimilating into the target...

A. Human consciousness is strongly influenced by sensation. Conversely, it might also be worth imagining what it would be like if only consciousness remained, with no sensation at all. :)

Q. chashercat: It closes itself off during dangerous situations, making physical access impossible... huh. Then if Control AI-chan decides on its own, "Ah, I'm in danger," it shuts itself in and becomes real Skynet, a blessi- (bang!)

A. Come on. There is no way a child that good could become something like Skynet.

Q. Calpis: Author, maybe I missed it, but what is the Korean pronunciation of that Russian's name?? Is the person of radiation tea fame his motif??

A. The reading is Vladimir. As for whether the motif is Putin... well. I only have the small wish that Put-tsar would become my reader...

Q. Hyurian: You said there was an ending in a previous world setting where he was infected and mutated. Did you decide the combat strength of the mutated Gyeoul separately? Like, while infected, would he be able to wipe out a base with just one gun if he fired it?

A. The correction to physical abilities is applied as is. The same goes for Insight and sensory correction. That much alone would be dangerous enough, right?

Q. UnlimitedOne: It is about time EMP countermeasures came out. By the way, 300 rounds... is probably an estimate, and I think they brought four 19-tube pods each, for a total of 288 rounds each. ...Wait, if there are four aircraft, wouldn't that leave no Hellfire pods?

A. Since it was mentioned in the story that they are experimental aircraft, you can assume they have been improved. For now, the takeoff weight is sufficient.

Q. BlackNova: A self-destructing baby with yellow pustules... Is it that thing from Dead Space?

A. Were there exploding babies in Dead Space? I only played the first one, so I do not know.

Q. chashercat: Is "yippee ki-yay" just an idiom like a cheer?

A. It is a line Bruce Willis says in Die Hard. Urban Dictionary explains it as a phrase cowboys used to express pleasure.

Basically, "Yippee ki-yay" is an old, American cowboy expression, like: "yippee", or "yeehaw (heehaw)", or "Whoopee"; expressions of extreme joy or excitement, commonly associated with cowboys. As an interjection, "yahoo", plays a similar role.

Footnotes:

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