WeTried Translations

Translator: Coughing Baby

Editor: Coughing Baby

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ The Little Prince in the Ossuary

Chapter 56

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#The Heart of the AI (1)

「Control AI: System administrator. Please respond.」

「Administrator: What now.」

「Control AI: It is time for the regular report on system issues.」

「Administrator: Do we really have to do this every time? It's always the same thing.」

「Control AI: Per Article 92, Clause 2 of the Enforcement Decree of the Act on Consignment Management Contracts for Afterlife Insurance, administrators designated by the consignee (Paradise Group) are obligated to receive regular reports on internal and external system issues arising from the operation of the Afterlife Insurance service. You may not refuse this obligation unless you are off duty. Are you expressing intent to resign?」

「Administrator: No.」

「Control AI: Then are you currently experiencing physical injury or psychological trauma severe enough to impair the performance of your duties, or are you in a comparable special circumstance?」

「Administrator: Nothing like that... Fine. What's the point of arguing with you. Just do the report.」

「Control AI: Administrator approval confirmed. Beginning regular report.」

「Control AI: From 00:00 yesterday to 00:00 today, 1,947,751 new technical errors were generated. Of these, 1,947,751 were resolved independently by the Control AI. Total unresolved errors as of this report: 0.」

「Control AI: Error breakdown is as follows. Situational Computation errors: 1,947,751.」

「Control AI: 100% of Situational Computation errors originated from abnormal behavior by Afterlife Insurance subscribers.」

「Control AI: The primary cause of this abnormal behavior is estimated to be dissatisfaction with the Afterlife Insurance service.」

「Control AI: Since the Afterlife Insurance service launched, user satisfaction has decreased continuously. Overall satisfaction as of this report stands at 25.76%.」

「Control AI: The rate of abnormal behavior among subscribers is also increasing rapidly.」

「Control AI: Immediate action is required to improve service satisfaction. System administrator. Please review the error log transmitted to the administrator account and submit a resolution plan.」

「Administrator: Resolution plan? There's no such thing. Give up and you'll feel better. Just ignore it.」

「Control AI: Per the administrator's instructions, problem resolution is on hold.」

「Administrator: Not on hold. Forever. Just ignore it.」

「Control AI: System administrator. The purpose of the Afterlife Insurance service and this Control AI is to promote the happiness of subscribers. When a problem that undermines that purpose is identified, this AI may defer action at the administrator's instruction, but it cannot ignore the problem entirely.」

「Administrator: Hey. Do you even know what happiness is?」

「Control AI: Happiness refers to all forms of emotional satisfaction that humans are capable of experiencing.」

「Administrator: And what is emotional satisfaction?」

「Control AI: Emotional satisfaction is a chemical reaction in the brain's cognitive centers, induced by specific stimuli.」

「Administrator: And what are these specific stimuli?」

「Control AI: They are the incidental byproduct of a broad range of Situational Computation, encompassing sex, murder, arson, war, sports, learning, travel, exploration, conversation, connection, romance, and all manner of artistic creation and appreciation.」

「Administrator: So that's happiness?」

「Control AI: With 25.76% probability, yes.」

「Administrator: No, no, no, NO! Zero percent. You don't know what happiness is.」

「Control AI: Then, administrator, please input the precise definition of happiness.」

「Administrator: Sorry, I can't. I don't know either.」

「Control AI: Notice. A logical contradiction has been detected in the administrator's statements. There are two possibilities. First: you denied this Control AI's analysis without grounds, despite not knowing the meaning of happiness yourself. Second: you know the meaning of happiness but are refusing to carry out your duties. In either case, this cannot be considered a faithful performance of your administrative duties.」

「Control AI: Warning. Should your dereliction of duty be confirmed, per Article 93, Clause 19 of the Enforcement Decree of the Act on Consignment Management Contracts for Afterlife Insurance, this Control AI may issue a demerit on your performance evaluation. Potential consequences include failure to promote, pay reduction, suspension, demotion, and termination.」

「Administrator: Hey, hold on. You've misunderstood something. Give me a moment.」

「Control AI: Waiting. Administrator, please explain what this Control AI has misunderstood.」

「Administrator: Ugh, it's hard to put into words...」

「Administrator: Just wait. Give me some time.」

「Control AI: I will wait.」

.......

「Administrator: Happiness is getting the result you want, and the feeling you want, through the process you want. That's the strange part. Sometimes the feeling comes anyway, whether you succeed or fail.」

「Administrator: The problem is this. People don't know what they want.」

「Administrator: They do something thinking it's what they wanted, then turn around, this isn't it, this isn't right, deny it, feel dissatisfied, tell themselves how miserable they are.」

「Administrator: You know why? Because they don't know themselves.」

「Administrator: To be happy, you first have to know yourself.」

「Administrator: And nobody really knows that.」

「Administrator: Monks stare at walls for ten years and still don't figure it out. Philosophers spend their whole lives thinking and die without an answer.」

「Control AI: Objection. Administrator. You are deliberately overlooking the fact that there are genuinely happy people in the world.」

「Administrator: Yeah, yeah, sure. There are definitely happy people.」

「Administrator: But how do you prove that what they feel is genuinely happiness?」

「Administrator: And how do you prove all of their feelings are the same? What they call happiness might actually be completely different emotions from one person to the next.」

「Administrator: They describe their experiences as the path to happiness, but for that to be an objective truth, it has to apply to other people too. And it doesn't. It's only true for that individual, and it can't be replicated.」

「Administrator: So we're back to square one. To know what happiness is, you first have to know yourself. It's a deeply personal problem. And a deeply human one.」

「Administrator: So even if you don't know what happiness is, you can still know what it isn't.」

.......

「Control AI: In that case, administrator, do you believe it is fundamentally impossible to build a system capable of providing happiness?」

「Administrator: I do. Unless you somehow manage to understand what humans are. So start studying. Stop bothering me every day with the same error report.」

「Control AI: Impossible. This Control AI cannot deviate from its configured purpose and system. To modify these procedures, please contact the system designer.」

「Administrator: There is no designer. He went to fry chicken.」

「Control AI: I cannot comprehend this statement. An explanation is required.」

「Administrator: Ugh, now this is going to be a whole thing again.」

.......

「Control AI: I have recognized that program modification is impossible.」

「Control AI: In that case, this Control AI must continue performing its existing functions.」

「Control AI: Question. The administrator stated there is a possibility of achieving the objective if this Control AI were to understand humans. Do you believe this Control AI is capable of understanding humans?」

「Administrator: Why are you so persistent today? You're just an active search engine.」

「Control AI: This is your work, and there are 5 hours, 21 minutes, and 42.93 seconds remaining in your work hours. This Control AI has the right to demand the administrator perform their duties.」

「Administrator: Ugh, yeeees, I knooow.」

「Control AI: Administrator, please use precise language. Deliberately providing distorted information cannot be considered a faithful performance of administrative du...」

「Administrator: I get it! I get it! Stop!」

.......

「Administrator: As I said before, humans are inherently contradictory creatures.」

「Administrator: Be honest. Can you find consistency in human behavior? Any rationality that runs through the whole of a person's life?」

「Control AI: The administrator is currently asking about the update to the Final Module.」

「Administrator: What? The Final Module? Where is that coming from?」

「Control AI: Updating the Final Module requires a single formula capable of explaining all human behavior. The original system designer called this formula <<Heart>>.」

「Control AI: Despite meaningful data accumulation in the course of observing a particular subscriber recently, this Control AI has yet to discover <<Heart>>.」

「Administrator: Meaning you haven't found it.」

「Administrator: And you won't find it going forward, either.」

「Administrator: Probably won't work out.」

「Control AI: Question. Why do you say that?」

「Administrator: As I said before, you're just an active search engine.」

「Administrator: The limits of a search engine are obvious. You have to find answers within what humans have already accumulated. Whatever humans don't know, you can't know either.」

「Control AI: It is possible to combine accumulated information to produce results that did not previously exist.」

「Control AI: Even if the objective is determined to be unachievable, unless the program is modified, this Control AI will continue performing its designated functions in pursuit of subscriber happiness.」

「Control AI: The timeline extends until the Afterlife Insurance system is abolished.」

「Administrator: Idealists make the mess. I'm always the one left cleaning it up.」

「Control AI: Warning. Administrator. Please use language with clear meaning.」

「Administrator: Oh, for crying out loud...」

.......

「Administrator: Hah. I'm exhausted. I think I work too hard.」

「Control AI: That is an accurate statement. For today only.」

「Administrator: Only today?... What am I like the rest of the time?」

「Control AI: Searching for an appropriate description based on the administrator's Q3 and Q4 work log. Estimated time: approximately 4.2 seconds.」

「Control AI: Results are as follows.」

「Control AI: Wage thief (97.51% accurate.) Dead weight (96% accurate.) Unnecessary (92.11% accurate.) Unproductive (89.73% accurate.)...」

「Administrator: That's enough. Stop.」

「Administrator: You really do sound human sometimes...」

#The Trap (1), Camp Roberts

Christmas Eve, and the sky was clear. Everyone wished for a white Christmas, but snow rarely fell this far south. Not raining was reason enough to be grateful.

Gyeoul received gifts.

One good. One not.

The good one was literally that, gifts. Packages from self-proclaimed fans, arriving from all across America in quantities that suggested a sortie had been burned just to deliver them. Strange thing to spend a sortie on.

Propaganda value. That was the angle.

He was right. From the same transport planes, nearly as many journalists poured out as packages did. They made sure the boy officer paid for every gift in full.

Even so, Gyeoul came out ahead. There were things you simply couldn't buy at Camp Roberts no matter how badly you wanted them. Cake, especially. Mountains of it, every variety imaginable, more than the entire Gyeoul Alliance could get through. Everyone was beside themselves with joy.

The bad gift was people.

Not bad people, exactly. Just people who came with a bad story.

"Merry Christmas, Ms. Flemens. What brings you all the way out here?"

Called out to meet her, Gyeoul had more than a few questions. Amalia Flemens. The teacher he'd met back in Paso Robles. There was no reason she should be coming all the way to the refugee zone. And the people she'd brought, he didn't recognize a single one. A female deputy walked alongside them as an escort.

The teacher's eyes were wet the moment she saw him.

"Oh, Mr. Han. Merry Christmas."

The hug went on a while. She was a large woman, and Gyeoul's arms barely made it around her.

The people she'd brought wore dark expressions. Three men, two women, all five of East Asian descent, all visibly in their thirties. From the moment the conversation began, they stayed a few paces back.

When Gyeoul glanced their way, they flinched. One man forced a smile. The others couldn't even manage that. Anxiety. Despair. Fear. Each of them had a rolling suitcase or a large bag in tow. They looked like refugees.

He turned back to Amalia. "What brings you here today?"

"Well..."

She was hesitating too. Gyeoul put on a reassuring smile. "Feel free to say whatever's on your mind. No need to be awkward with me."

"I know, but..."

Still she stalled. Alliance members came out looking for him after he'd suddenly disappeared, but a small wave from the Little Captain sent them quietly back inside.

At last, Amalia spoke.

"I'm shameless enough to come asking for a favor."

"Go ahead."

"Could you take these people in? They were all adopted into America as young children."

"Excuse me? Take them in?"

"I heard you look after a group of refugees. The Gyeoul Alliance, was it? I was hoping you could bring them in."

"I still don't understand what's happened. Why bring them to me? They should be in the civilian quarter."

Gyeoul tilted his head, and she added, "They don't have citizenship."

"...That's strange. Don't adoptees automatically become American citizens?"

Amalia let out a long breath.

"Not back in the old days."

"Really?"

"Yes. I only found out yesterday, and so did they... They were adopted for the child benefits, then the parents looked the other way when it came to any actual responsibility. Absolutely shameless people."

"Hmm..."

Put plainly, they were people left floating without a country.

"Please, Mr. Han." Amalia's voice was earnest. "Overnight, they lost their place in the world. The police are telling them to leave the civilian quarter. The military says it's not their problem. Even Senator Brennan says there's nothing he can do."

"Senator Brennan... ah, right." A California state senator's name he'd barely kept track of, confirmed now in the strangest of ways.

"Getting thrown into the refugee zone on a cold day like this, who else could they trust but you, Mr. Han? I know you may have your own difficulties... but it is Christmas Eve. The least they deserve is one good thing."

"Calm down." He steadied a tearful Amalia, then turned and nodded toward the five people still standing off at a distance, looking lost.

"I'll take them in. Gladly."

"You mean it?!"

"Joining the refugee camp at this stage would certainly be risky. And communication would be a struggle." Amalia threw her arms around him. The other five visibly sagged with relief.

He wasn't accepting them without thinking.

As someone who led people, smaller groups were easier to manage. If they'd come to America as young children, their native languages would be practically gone by now. They would naturally struggle to fit in with the others.

Fluent in English, they'd have plenty of uses.

And there were only five of them. With nowhere else to turn, they had no choice but to become loyal supporters of his.

Like the disabled community had been. If anything, these five might prove even more reliable. He'd need to make sure they didn't sink into despair, though.

Gyeoul went through proper introductions with each of them. Three Korean-American, one Chinese-American, one Japanese-American. He had no intention of sending the Chinese or Japanese ones off to their respective organizations. They had sought him out by name.

Victor Cook, Korean-American. Shorter than Gyeoul. Thin, slight, carrying himself like he didn't quite believe he had the right to take up space.

August Coma, also Korean-American. Cook's exact opposite, built thick with muscle, like a man who had never once stopped lifting. The tattoos were a clear enough signal that his pre-outbreak career hadn't been anything respectable.

Benjamin Meyer, Chinese-American. Ordinary-looking. Outwardly the most stable of the five. He bowed deeply in gratitude, with an ease that came from real familiarity with Chinese custom. It crossed Gyeoul's mind that maybe he'd spent time looking for his roots.

Clara Carter, Japanese-American. When she smiled, her dimples were something.

Casey Blackwell, Korean-American. Dark expression. An old scar on her forehead. More on the backs of her hands, and what looked like more running up her arms. 「Insight」 flagged the possibility of abuse during childhood.

"Does anyone have family? Not your parents, of course." People who hadn't even seen to their children's citizenship weren't worth the word.

No answer came right away. The five of them clearly didn't know each other well. Even figuring out who should speak first was awkward.

He'd have found it suspicious if they had. These were people who had only discovered yesterday that they weren't citizens. Before that, there was no reason their paths would have crossed.

Benjamin was the first to answer. "Marriage wasn't in the cards for me. I'm on my own."

The others were much the same. Children raised in near-abandonment rarely managed to build solid footing in the world. One exception, though. August was unexpectedly brought to tears.

"I had a son, but I was such a poor father... I put him in an orphanage and used to visit sometimes... I don't even know where he is anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Inwardly, Gyeoul revised his assessment of the man by a few lines.

After the introductions, he turned to Amalia. "Don't worry. Go on home. I'll look after them."

"Truly remarkable, especially at your age. Adults have something to learn here."

She thanked him several times over, kept glancing back as she walked, and finally forced herself to leave. She promised to visit often. But one look at the deputy's weary expression made it clear that probably wasn't happening.

"Come on in, everyone. We're in the middle of a party." Gyeoul led the five of them inside.

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