WeTried Translations

Translator: Coughing Baby

Editor: Coughing Baby

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ The Little Prince in the Ossuary

Chapter 82

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A Fish Stranded in a Rut & Night by the Lake

#A Fish Stranded in a Rut (2)

「Grade-9 Civil Servant: I came in because this channel was pinned on the Streaming Portal main page... but something feels off...」

「Grade-9 Civil Servant: I synced the key sections from the beginning up to now through 「Digest」, and no matter how hard I looked, there is no sex scene. Am I the weird one? Guys, what about you?」

「PizzaIsObviouslyLarge: Same here. Even when I sort by satisfaction, every clip is teen-rated.」

「DongmakgolSmigol: Come on, who enters Afterlife Insurance and does not hook up?」

「AppGirl: Hng. Seriously no bang-bang? The host is my type. He acts well, and unlike other hosts, he sets up situations you can really get immersed in. I wanna devour him already. ^_^」

「SweetMocha: Yeah, yeah. He seems nice, but not just nice. How do I put it? Half adult? Anyway, he has that dual Charm. Feels like he would have two flavors♡」

[SweetMocha gifted 30 stars.]

「MoronlympicGold: Ask the people who watched from the start. Someone step up.」

「storm224: Welcome, newbie punks. New idiots are always welcome!」

「MoronlympicGold: Something weird just crawled out. Since when have you been watching, bastard?」

「storm224: Since the beginning. Call me sunbae.」

「MoronlympicGold: Crazy. You do not see my nickname? Want to run a moron-olympics all night with me?」

「Grade-9 Civil Servant: Stop there.」

「PizzaIsObviouslyLarge: storm224. Upload your logs and we will learn what we want. Reveal your happy-time bookmarks now. If you watched from the start, you obviously marked timestamps, right?」

「storm224: I do not have anything like that.」

「PizzaIsObviouslyLarge: No way... you are joking, right?」

「SweetMocha: You really do not have any? T_T」

「storm224: Yeah, none.」

「storm224: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.」

「FullTimeJessica: Hard to believe, but true. I watched from the start too, and this host just does not do that stuff. Even if you throw thousands of stars at him, he kicks it away.」

「richdog: Yep. Everyone gave up and just watches. Still fun anyway.」

[richdog gifted 50 stars.]

「RetiredInMy20s: Is that so...」

「RetiredInMy20s: Still, I never imagined the 「Days after Apocalypse」 setting could go like this. I actually checked the stream title again because I wondered if this was even the same game I played.」

「Grade-9 Civil Servant: I came in for instant ramen, then found out it was a full Korean table course.」

「HardGay: That metaphor lol」

「DongmakgolSmigol: Did I skim the past episodes too hard? I still do not really get what is so good.」

「KILL: Better not to know.」

「DongmakgolSmigol: ?」

「KILL: One warning for the new guys. Do not watch this stream.」

「AppGirl: Huh? Why?」

「KILL: It shows up in your dreams.」

「AppGirl: ...what is that even supposed to mean lol」

「MoronlympicGold: What kind of idiot clown is this now? Too many challengers trying to threaten my throne.」

「KILL: I am not joking right now. I am saying this for your sake.」

「RetiredInMy20s: What are you even talking about? I do not get it at all.」

「KILL: This stream is too realistic. Every virtual personality feels like an actual living person. When I sync with the host, I feel like I am disappearing.」

「KILL: The problem is, fuck, I want that. I want to become Han Gyeoul. I want to take care of people, and be loved by people...」

「KILL: Then when it is time to disconnect, I feel fucking filthy. I do not want to go back to reality. I do not want to become someone else. But that someone else is the real me, a caged, non-regular deadweight worker. A life that does not even feel like living...」

「KILL: Fuck, fuck, fuck...」

「MoronlympicGold: What, so you are just a normal game addict? Idiot lol」

「StraightFacts: You hear that weird noise? I do. The sound of an inferiority complex exploding.」

「NitrogenPack: A guy with broken self-worth thinks everyone else is at his level. That is why you are non-regular labor, man. You are a defeatist loser running to Virtual Reality with zero will to change reality and zero effort. Welfare got so good that everyone got lazy. If you hate your cage, you should work to get out of it. Tsk tsk.」

「TeamLeaderKimMi-young: Unsecured personal credit loan consultation available. 0100-8282-****」

「KILL: Sure. Talk all the shit you want, bastards.」

「MoronlympicGold: Yep, reported.」

「まつみん: You all are being way too harsh. And what is that loan ad in the middle of this? You should not laugh at someone else's pain! No matter what it is, if someone says they are hurting, the first thing to ask is whether they are okay!」

「100MillionDEBT: Whoa, whoa. Calm down, everyone.」

「100MillionDEBT: I kind of get what he is saying.」

「100MillionDEBT: I had never felt this before subscribing to this channel, but now I am thinking this thing called 「Sensory Synchronization」 might actually be dangerous. It is not that KILL is weird.」

「GrapesOfWrath: Agreed. I am not as bad as him, but I still get this uneasy feeling too.」

「Mustafa: No wonder KILL stopped yelling about sex these days. lol」

「groseillier noir: Hmm. Media in my country have been oddly critical of Korean Afterlife Insurance, and until now I thought they were just bashing it because they were losing money. But watching you all, I think I vaguely get why they criticize it. I still cannot explain it well, though.」

「groseillier noir: Even so, I like Afterlife Insurance. :)」

[groseillier noir gifted 172.25 stars.]

「Владимир: Correct. Korean Afterlife Insurance is an artificial paradise created by science and capital. It would have been better without Active X. After experiencing it myself, I decided it must be introduced in Russia too, with Active X excluded at all costs.」

「BigBuffetBoy86: Oh, Russki. You keep showing up on this channel. Did your game skills improve much meanwhile?」

「Владимир: Not at all. I think I regressed instead. I truly do not understand. I just played a skirmish, and even though our side had one pro-level Korean, we still lost. How?」

「BigBuffetBoy86: Easy. The other side probably had two pro-level Koreans.」

「Владимир: ...!」

「Meussiel: Enlightenment lol what is this stupid conversation lolllllllll」

「まつみん: Russian ajusshi wwwwwwwwww」

「SnowyFox: ;;;;」

「Владимир: I seem to have made a mistake. I already disciplined the subordinate who recruited that Korean...」

「BigBuffetBoy86: Why, did you dump her on the bottom of the Baltic again?」

「Владимир: No, she is a daughter of Russia. I would not waste her so meaninglessly. I only assigned her to a somewhat difficult mission. She may not return alive.」

「BigBuffetBoy86: Your jokes are always funny. :D」

「Владимир: It was not a joke.」

<> : A viewer quest has been assigned by KILL.>> 『Viewer Quest: Just This Once.』

『KILL's words: Honestly, even to you, does Lee Yura not seem like a pretty great woman? She is kind and innocent but still responsible, which is really nice to watch. I do not need Li Ailing, and you do not have to have sex, just make a sweet mood for once. Life is hard for your hyung. Let me get some comfort.』

『AI Advice: The objective of this quest is for user registration number B-612 Han Gyeoul to enter a romantic relationship with Lee Yura. Upon completion, 1,000 stars will be paid to the world host.』

<> : Han Gyeoul (Host) rejected KILL's viewer quest.

「KILL: Sigh. As expected, no luck.」

「FullTimeJessica: lololol KILL, did you not say you were giving up?」

「KILL: I thought it might work since it was not sex. But I guess he just hates interference. Like, sit down and watch quietly, is that it. He could share a little with me too...」

「Don't_NickPun: Hmm. So this is what hyperreality is.」

「KILL: What is that?」

「Don't_NickPun: KILL. When you have time, find and read Gilles Deleuze, something about simulacra. It might help you see your condition objectively.」

「KILL: Gilles Deleuze? No clue who that is, but who has time to read books? I already do not have enough time to watch streams. Life has been fucking rough lately. I am barely getting through each day with the joy of watching this channel.」

「Don't_NickPun: Your life is pretty pitiful too.」

「SnowyFox: .......」

[SnowyFox gifted 1,000 stars.]

#Lakeside Night, Fort Roberts (1)

The old typhoon moved out, and a new one rolled in. Fort Roberts darkened with the weather. People, heavy as storm clouds, worried about everything: the swelling river, abandoned construction sites, fewer air transports, and shrinking rations. Everyone prayed this rough spell would end quickly. But forecasts said bad weather would continue for a while. The National Hurricane Center blamed the effects of an extreme El Nino.

In the middle of all that, something small but eye-catching appeared.

"Huh? Can this really be used?"

Yura opened her eyes wide and asked Gyeoul. He nodded.

"Yes. It is a military rugged smartphone. A lot of functions are still locked, but at least you should be able to use it as a phone for now. Do not forget your individual login passwords, and make sure you read the manual."

Only four people received smartphones from Gyeoul: two vice-captains and two combat group leaders. Everyone else looked at them with obvious envy. Gyeoul wished he had a few more, but there was nothing he could do. The fortress supply office had originally planned to issue them only to Gyeoul himself.

In truth, even among U.S. troops these military smartphones were not commonly distributed. The device maker was gone now, so supply had become a problem too. Without Gyeoul's influence, this was the kind of item he never could have asked for.

Jang Yeon-cheol, examining his device, suddenly shouted in surprise.

"I thought the design looked familiar, and now that I look closely, this is Korean-made!"

"Wow, it really is! The case was so thick I did not notice! Oh my god!"

Yura's eyes turned watery as she wrapped both hands around the phone. Min Wan-ki and Park Jin-seok could not hide their interest either. Most functions were blocked, but they were still delighted, just exchanging text messages. In many ways, it was the kind of object that stirred nostalgia. Their old smartphones had become dead weight long ago.

Still buzzing with excitement, Yura asked Gyeoul,

"Can I call Captain-nim?"

"Go ahead."

The boy smiled lightly. Yura pressed the speed-dial key. After a slight delay, the ringtone went off. They were making a call while facing each other. The people who had been watching in envy now laughed and clapped. Yura's face turned red as embarrassment hit her a beat late. Still, she held firm. He thought she would just check the connection and hang up, but her expression turned unexpectedly serious. Why?

'Is she trying to make herself the butt of the joke on purpose?'

If that could drive away people's worries even for a moment, he did not mind. Gyeoul pretended to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hello! My name is Lee Yura! Is Captain Han Gyeoul there?"

"Yes, this is him. What did you call for?"

The laughter around them kept growing louder. Yura raised her voice.

"I wanted to say thank you so much!"

"What I gave out today was just supplies, so you do not need to thank me."

"Even so! Not just this, thank you for everything else too! Please keep taking care of us from now on!"

"Same to you. Please pass my greetings to everyone else too."

That became their monumental first call. After the little comedy ended, Gyeoul added a new instruction.

"Squad Leader Park-nim and Squad Leader Lee-nim, your devices have more functions than the vice-captains' phones. Most of them are useful in combat situations. Get familiar with them as quickly as possible. This is an order."

Jin-seok asked,

"How does a smartphone help in combat?"

Gyeoul held up the manual.

"As I said earlier, reading the manual is the surest way. But for simple examples, there is a tactical map that updates each other's positions in real time, ballistic calculations based on distance and wind, and you can mark coordinates to request fire support."

"Huh, impressive."

All of that came from a single app, 「Android Tactical Attack Kit」. You could also install plugins to add more functions.

That meant the combat group leaders' phones and Gyeoul's phone were different again. Gyeoul's had much broader permissions: access to on-base CCTV, Noise Maker control, and limited connection to the military intranet. The last one was a little unexpected.

There was a reason for it. U.S. Department of Defense civil and psychological operations officers wanted real-time material on Gyeoul's activities. They planned to polish that material and use it for propaganda.

'This is a mission too, in a sense... but is not combat camera footage enough?'

Right then, his device vibrated. It was not Yura this time. The call came from the command and control room. Gyeoul stepped a little away from the others and answered.

"This is Lieutenant Han Gyeoul."

[Oh. You picked up fast. I was about to call you on the radio.]

It was Lieutenant Colonel Capston.

"Battalion commander-nim? What is it?"

[Come to the briefing room immediately. There is an operation that needs you.]

"An operation?"

Gyeoul glanced up at the sky outside. All outdoor activity was restricted by the weather, so what kind of operation could need the boy officer right now? Air movement was difficult, so it had to be a mission within walking or driving range. The lieutenant colonel spoke quickly.

[I will explain in person. If this leaks outside, it could spread anxiety.]

"Understood. I will head over right away."

[Good. See you shortly.]

The call cut off with a click. Anxiety was clear in the lieutenant colonel's voice. What was it? Gyeoul said a quick goodbye to the others and stepped out of the tent. Pulling his raincoat tight, he walked quickly through the rain.

============================ Author's Afterword ============================

1. The military rugged smartphone that appeared in this chapter was a Samsung Galaxy Note 2. As the U.S. pushed the Net Warrior plan, they adopted Samsung phones. They usually put them in a multipurpose protective shell called a Juggernaut case, and that covers the branding, so that is why Jang Yeon-cheol took a moment to recognize it.

2. Mister Pizza did not taste good... Though I think it has been around ten years since I last ate it, so I do not know whether my taste changed in that time, or Mister Pizza's taste changed.

3.

Q. Velos-nim: How do you know all this U.S. military knowledge and police terminology? I would appreciate any site or book recommendations.

A. Sadly, no such amazing site or book exists. T_T

I got a lot of material from English-language websites. If you are ready to overcome the language barrier, this is really a convenient era for writers.

Q. Kaioga-nim: @Maybe because I eat cola with pizza instead of pizza with cola, I cannot even finish a regular size. What is your pizza record, author-nim? (Mine is six slices of a regular plus 1.2L cola... cough cough)

A. Back then, one whole regular pizza was nothing to me, but these days my body feels worn out, so it has gotten harder.

Q. HorangiCandy-nim: @I am leaving a comment to fill up the author's childlike innocence. Does the amount increase based on how long the comment is, or on specific content?

A. It does have some effect. Praise makes the Great Old One go wild. Long praise makes it go even wilder. Blowing up a few star systems is no big deal then.

Q. AhuraMazda-nim: @For childlike innocence, I recommend songs by Mili.

A. First time hearing that singer, or group, but I will look them up when I have time.

Q. MasterKalsolum-nim: @Huh? Is regular not for kids? A Costco pizza feels like one serving. Ah, I eat about two whole pizzas.

A. What? Two whole pies? Costco pizza? Sheesh; you have transcended human limits. Truly worthy of being my reader.

Q. InoIno-nim: @...Sometimes I think, what if I really came from another world? Like finishing a whole pizza alone. Or taking a punch and still looking okay. Or getting splashed with cold water and being fine. Watching people like that makes me wonder, why is my toughness so low...?

A. That is all from a lack of childlike innocence. Go find the Necronomicon. I heard it is an excellent book for restoring childlike innocence.

Q. ChaosLine-nim: Regular? Did that size even exist? I thought pizza only came in large and super large.

A. Seriously. Looks like the Blood Ravens stole the pizza too.

Q. RGZ95-nim: @Regular? That is way too small-minded.

A. If it had at least been a premium menu pizza, maybe the Great Old One would have forgiven it. But they offered a basic menu, so it failed to satisfy the Great Old One, or so the rumor goes. Hahaha.

Q. Raynesis-nim: @make us whole!

A. I want to play Dead Space. I cannot even play Overwatch right now...

Q. Cheongnyuryeon-nim: @Looks like today will be another day full of childlike innocence. What I am reading on Noble these days is Life Again Once, Life Point One, Apostolic Journey, and Gwangak-nim's novel (I am saving Barbyeol for later). Are there any novels you are reading on Joara these days, author-nim?

A. The Little Prince in the Ossuary!

Just kidding, I am reading Wind and Star Cluster and Reincarnated Sword God. I do not have time for anything else.

Ah. I had been stacking up The Villainess's Justice to read, but after the recent leak incident, the author stopped serializing on Joara.

No... T_T

Q. Moranon-nim: @Is there a specific reason you do not split chapters through the Joara system? In Helkeginia it was easy to jump to the part I wanted, but this one has no visible breaks, so it is hard to find specific parts.

A. Because each installment does not break cleanly by length, and stories on different tracks cross over each other. I will look into ways to split chapters manually.

Q. Foxword-nim: @The heartbroken author is cute... ahem. By the way, are close-combat skill lines also subdivided?

A. Yes. Specialized skill concepts exist too.

Q. Adrenalin-nim: @Also, what about crowdfunding or Patreon instead of a donation account? If you only signed for ebook without print, you could offer things like custom binding or a setting book.

A. The issue is not how to receive support, but whether the author is qualified to receive it.

Q. BlueCrystal-nim: @A paper book is still coming out, right?? I would love to own a signed hardcover. A personal print could work too, but considering cover quality and illustrations, I hope it comes out as a published edition if possible.

A. Honestly, I was not thinking much about a paper book. Even if everyone says it is a dream, paper books do not sell that well these days.

Still, I think I can share good news soon.

Q. Ghozt-nim: @NoCount-nim's novel I Am an Item was a great novel full of dreams, romance, and childlike innocence, but lately it looks a bit short on that spirit. I think we need to distribute some of your higher childlike innocence to that author. What do you think? @By the origin of the word regular, large size should be the regular size.

A. These days I am short on childlike innocence too... can you not feel that deficiency in my writing?

Q. Dohwawon-nim: @Does a size called regular really exist? Pizza is only pizza if you eat alone and still leave one or two slices. If you are hungry after finishing and the box is empty... that has no right to be called pizza!

A. I agree. I saw an actual regular for the first time in a long while, and it was absurdly tiny. T_T

Q. Winsinel-nim: If I order pizza, do they deliver to the deep sea or outer space too?

A. I opened a warp gate in Songpa-gu and I am ordering delivery through that. :)

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