WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Martial Alliance Rulebook Archives ◈
Chapter 25: Living off Someone Else's Money (2)
──────
“Hmm, your pulse hasn't grown any more erratic.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. There wasn't any real fighting this time, was there? You used some internal energy getting to and from Azurewater Village, but at most, your lifespan has been shortened by about a week.”
“Ordinary people don't lose time off their lives just from walking that far.”
“That’s because their acupoints are intact. Considering yours, this is a favorable prognosis.”
I sighed. Damn it, I should've at least scooped up some of that frost piled around Azurewater Village and eaten it.
“What are you thinking about?”
“I'm regretting not finding out whether the frost left behind by demonic arts might've been a spiritual elixir for me.”
“Ah. It did possess traits of an Anomaly... An interesting thought. If you'd joined the Black Lotus Society, you would've gotten to eat all sorts of things.”
“Such as?”
“Tiger meat?”
“Meat from a tiger possessed by a Tiger-Riding Ghost?”
The special physician nodded.
‘Those really exist too...?’
A Tiger-Riding Ghost was a creature from legend. A person killed by a tiger would have their soul bound to it, creating yet more victims.
Then again, spirit creatures such as thousand-year white tigers probably existed as well. It wasn't particularly strange for such monsters to be real.
“Would a tiger like that be an Anomaly?”
“I think I told you something similar when you tasted that Gu. An ordinary tiger that develops a taste for human flesh isn't an Anomaly.”
There were tigers too old and sick to hunt properly, which turned to humans as easy prey.
They were ordinary wild beasts. A passing martial artist or hunters sent by the local authorities would deal with them.
But if the tiger did not seek human flesh, instead coveting the spiritual nature and Essence, Qi, and Spirit within people...
“Then it becomes an Anomaly. A Tiger-Riding Ghost is a spirit bound to a tiger, after all.”
“Wait. Are you saying the Black Lotus Society has meat from Tiger-Riding Ghost tigers?”
“They follow a different path from spirit creatures that walk the Orthodox Path, but they're still animals that have gained a degree of spiritual nature, aren't they? I heard they gather and keep them as though they were inner cores.”
The special physician ended the lecture on miscellaneous knowledge by saying that people who went looking for such things to eat often ended up with Demonic Qi seeping into their Baihui acupoint and losing their minds.
“The acupuncture needles are all out, so let's stop somewhere for a meal. I'll treat you, wherever you want to go.”
“Really?”
“It isn't my money anyway!”
The budget assigned to the Anomaly Records Office included an allowance for meals.
That caused a problem. The White-Robed Miracle Physician also belonged to the Medical Hall, while Peng Juhyeok held a dual posting in a martial unit.
Jade Scale belonged wholly to the Anomaly Records Office, but her body had never needed food in the first place.
“Records Officers have separate cover postings, so their regular lunches are paid by those departments. That means the meal budget assigned to the Anomaly Records Office just keeps piling up because we rarely have a chance to spend it properly.”
They sometimes used it for Newcomer Welcome Banquets, or when two or more Records Officers went out to eat and called it a staff dinner. It was practically an unmonitored budget.
“Couldn't it be used for something better? Like those Anomaly-misidentification talismans?”
“If money alone could produce more of them, the Director would've done so already. The problem is time, not funds.”
The special physician left the Medical Hall with familiar ease and strode toward the Martial Alliance's rear gate.
Beyond it lay the market street, lined with restaurants where Martial Alliance members stopped for drinks after work and Traveller's Inns where visitors from distant sects stayed.
The special physician tipped his chin at me, telling me to choose somewhere I wanted to eat.
I clicked my tongue and rubbed my chin.
“What is it? You're a young man with such a healthy appetite that you'll even eat insects.”
“That’s exactly why.”
It was a busy street full of people, so I couldn't openly mention Anomalies.
“Even the smell of roasted insects seems appetizing to me. What if I follow my instincts and end up entering some truly strange restaurant?”
“Ha ha. What a thing to worry about.”
His confident attitude made me nod.
“That’s true. There couldn't possibly be such a place right in front of the Martial Alliance. I must've been overreacting.”
“Hm? No. I was thinking that if it's an Anomaly you can deal with just by eating it, wouldn't it be best to stop by and take care of it?”
...Wasn't he an Eccentric Physician after all?
* * *
The place my nose chose was a neighborhood restaurant run by someone surnamed Hong.
The restaurant itself had been open for quite some time, but I had never visited before. This time, the dumplings drew me inside.
Even from outside, I could see the moist steam rising from the pot where dumplings were being steamed.
The owner kneaded dough for countless dumpling wrappers at once with a massive iron rod. Their arms were so powerful that I could've mistaken them for a martial artist trained in staff techniques.
‘No. Maybe they really are a martial artist? They could've been a Martial Alliance member who retired and opened a restaurant nearby.’
Old colleagues would naturally come by, ensuring a steady base of customers. It was a sound strategy.
I stopped imagining stories about the owner and looked at the dumplings before me.
The dumplings I had ordered were not wrapped in thin, translucent skin. They were encased in thick, white dough like steamed buns, with a meat filling seasoned in soy sauce.
They were much like the char siu bao I had eaten at dim sum restaurants on Earth.
“Hmm. Since it's public funds, we could've gone somewhere more expensive. Are you sure this is all right?”
“After smelling the food here, this place seemed the most appetizing. Let's eat.”
“You're quite modest. Very well.”
The Eccentric Physician picked up a dumpling with his chopsticks in a rather refined manner. I considered imitating the elegant ways of an old-fashioned orthodox sect member, then decided against it.
Dumplings were meant to fill one's mouth with their overwhelming heft. I grabbed one with my hand and tore into it.
“It really is delicious!”
After ordering stir-fried bok choy and a few other dishes, the special physician suddenly asked a strange question.
“Owner Hong! The filling in these dumplings is excellent. What kind of meat is it?”
Hong answered in a blunt voice, “Sheep.”
The Eccentric Physician nodded, exclaimed, “As expected, it's sheep!” then lowered his voice and whispered to me.
“You know sheep are a rare delicacy, don't you?”
“Rare? There are lamb skewer restaurants everywhere.”
“No, not that sort of sheep. The kind with two legs. Two-Legged Sheep.”
“Those exist?”
I tilted my head. Was it a sheep that had cultivated long enough to become a spirit creature and walk on two legs?
“Hong here would know all about them.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Isn't that right? You're the Human-Skin Chef of the Black Lotus Society's Anomaly Destruction Hall. What are you doing here?”
Human-Skin Chef?
As in human skin?
“...”
Owner Hong stared at us with a rigid expression. I had thought their movements were quick and their muscles unusual.
But they were a martial artist from the unorthodox sects?
“I don't know what you're talking about, Your Excellency.”
“Oh, come now. It's not as though I've only seen you peeling faces off once or twice.”
I wanted to send a voice transmission, but sadly, I hadn't reached that level.
If this person was a vicious criminal who killed people as casually as breathing, shouldn't they have been dealt with the moment they were discovered?
Were they really a master strong enough to escape the Martial Alliance's encirclement?
‘Damn it. If only I were First-rate...!’
As if sensing my anxiety, the Eccentric Physician sent me a voice transmission.
[Rest easy. I said that, but they have never actually cooked Two-Legged Sheep. They only have an unpleasant hobby of learning to cook from people who are about to die, then taking over their businesses when they do and wearing the original owner's face.]
Apparently, they considered that a form of memorial.
‘That’s only a hobby?’
Making human-skin masks seemed less like a memorial and more like desecrating the dead.
There were far too many lunatics in the martial world.
Hong, no, the Human-Skin Chef disguised as Hong, frowned.
“A troublesome tail has attached itself to the newly appeared demonic practitioner of the White Bone Claw. I learned that they were people sent by two members of the Martial Alliance.”
The Human-Skin Chef had been infiltrating the area around the Martial Alliance from the beginning. They had assumed that this was all a scheme by the Anomaly Records Office.
A ploy to keep the Embroidered Uniform Guard attached to the demonic practitioner of the White Bone Claw, preventing the Human-Skin Chef from investigating the demonic arts.
Just as they were about to move more actively to uncover the information recorded by the Anomaly Records Office, the special physician had come directly to them.
That special physician had once personally received an audience with the Emperor. It would not have been strange if he were the one who had moved the Embroidered Uniform Guard.
“Have you come to warn me to leave because you already know everything?”
“No, I don't know anything. It just happened to be the restaurant we chose.”
The Human-Skin Chef's eyes turned cold behind the human-skin mask. They clearly did not believe him.
“For reference, this friend chose the restaurant.”
The Eccentric Physician patted my shoulder.
‘Why would you say something that insane?!’
* * *
The Human-Skin Chef sighed. Whether they belonged to the Black Lotus Society or the Martial Alliance, powerful martial masters all became equally eccentric.
To think the Eccentric Physician would even use that youngster to rebuke the Human-Skin Chef.
“...I understand Your Excellency's intent. Our skills are inferior even to a mere Records Officer from the Anomaly Records Office. I will close this business and withdraw after today.”
The White-Robed Miracle Physician shrugged. Those unorthodox scum were truly excellent at tucking their tails.
When he looked to the side, he found the newcomer glaring at him with every curse imaginable in their eyes.
Had this friend truly chosen the restaurant by coincidence, or was it the influence of that constitution?
The Black Lotus Society had given its Anomaly-dedicated department the aggressive name Anomaly Destruction Hall, but it did not seek to destroy every Anomaly it encountered.
Like the meat from Tiger-Riding Ghost tigers, they used Anomalies without hesitation if they could be put to use.
As a result, the martial arts of the Anomaly Destruction Hall's members carried a peculiar, sinister scent.
If Yeok Cheonmyeong had unconsciously picked up on the lingering scent of that Demonic Qi...
‘Perhaps I should find a way for Yeok Cheonmyeong to train the sense of smell before martial arts.’
The Martial Alliance's Medical Hall had accumulated more knowledge of external martial arts than any other group in the martial world.
Footnotes:
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried