WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Haruto

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◈ The Martial Alliance Rulebook Archives ◈

Chapter 26: Hyperosmia Treatment (1)

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I crammed dumplings into my mouth without even stopping to breathe, then fled the restaurant where that insane chef was pretending to be the owner.

“Tsk. Why are you in such a hurry? That person may have an odd personality, but their cooking is excellent.”

“Sir, with all due respect, are you in your right mind?”

Wasn't he the very culprit who had used me to provoke an unorthodox master's pride? He was clearly no special physician. He was definitely an Eccentric Physician.

The only reason he had been given such an impressive-sounding name was because he belonged to the orthodox Martial Alliance. If he had worked outside the Alliance, people would have called him an Eccentric Physician within a week and a Demon Physician within a month.

“Of course I am. For someone from the Anomaly Destruction Hall, that person is rather shy and quiet.”

“Does someone like that go around peeling people's scalps?”

“According to them, it's because they're very sentimental.”

‘Are martial artists really all insane?’

The Eccentric Physician continued in an indifferent tone. Martial artists from the Anomaly Destruction Hall were broadly divided into two groups.

First, there were the jailers officially affiliated with the Black Lotus Society.

Then there were the prisoners captured by the Black Lotus Society and forced into labor.

“I imagine Peng's brat explained it to you. You know the ones who come charging at us with blades whenever they see us? Most of them are prisoners.”

“Most?”

“Ah. There are odd ones among the jailers too! There's one who treats life-and-death duels as a hobby.”

“How is that any different from prisoners who suddenly draw blades and try to kill people?”

“The difference is that her life-and-death duels concern Anomaly records?”

The Eccentric Physician explained the Anomaly Destruction Hall's Life-and-Death Gambler. She insisted that only wagers with lives at stake made her feel alive, then dragged any Records Officer she encountered into utterly bizarre bets.

“Let's use Soul-Severing Mountain Villa as an example. If you met Life-and-Death Gambler there, she would propose a wager over who could escape first.”

“What if I refuse?”

“She would regret it, then provoke the Anomaly. She'd tamper with the axis of the formation array, so surviving would become very difficult.”

“What if I accept?”

“She would happily provoke the Anomaly.”

“Is she insane?”

“You're half right.”

Life-and-Death Gambler did not provoke Anomalies out of malice toward her betting partners. She simply believed that the more perilous things became, the more entertaining they were.

“If you refuse her wager and survive, she'll offer you a word of congratulations. If you accept her wager and survive, you'll receive a suitable reward.”

“What kind of reward?”

“That depends on the state of Life-and-Death Gambler's purse at the time. Some have received secret martial manuals, while others have apparently received deeds to thousands of pyeong of farmland somewhere. So if she keeps pestering you to make a bet, just accept.”

“There really are nothing but lunatics in the martial world.”

“Exactly. Which is why the role of our Anomaly Records Office is all the more important, isn't it?”

I stared blankly at the Eccentric Physician. He merely chuckled and shrugged.

“Anyway, back to your concern. You're afraid the Human-Skin Chef might retaliate after losing face? I guarantee that won't happen.”

“How can you be so sure about the actions of a lunatic who peels people's scalps?”

“They're shy around strangers. Rather than seek out someone they've never met just to harm them, they'll simply let it go.”

It was difficult to tell whether he was serious or joking. When I stood there speechless, the Eccentric Physician added one more thing.

“Oh, and the Anomaly Destruction Hall treats me as an eccentric. They'll probably tell you to avoid getting involved with me if possible.”

He went on grumbling that the people from the Anomaly Destruction Hall, true to the unorthodox sects, had no manners. They kept their distance from him while calling him an Eccentric Physician.

‘They have a sharp eye for people!’

The Black Lotus Society might be unorthodox, but it still had the strength of a massive organization. To think they understood people so accurately.

“Well, thanks to you, I got to see something entertaining. See you tomorrow!”

“I'd rather not see anything like that again if I can help it.”

“Ha ha! If you work in our office, you'll see things far worse than that.”

* * *

‘Tsk.’

My stomach felt bloated. I must have gotten indigestion from wolfing down dumplings too quickly yesterday. Why had I chosen that restaurant of all places?

My fingers rose to my nose on their own. There was definitely something wrong with my sense of smell.

If I kept failing to distinguish the scent of food people ate from the scent of Anomalies, I might go looking for a good restaurant one day, encounter an Anomaly, and die a horrible death.

‘During the Azurewater Village incident, I could tell right away because delicious smells had come from a place where such scents should have been impossible.’

If I encountered an Anomaly somewhere where it would not be strange for food scents to be abundant, like yesterday, I would have no way of knowing.

I needed to be alive to enjoy good food. Was there no way to distinguish the scent of Anomalies from the scent of food?

With those thoughts in mind, I headed underground into the Anomaly Records Office. The moment I did, an odd scent tickled my nostrils.

“Hm?”

The Anomaly Records Office was full of books from its entrance, the Rites Department Preservation Archive. Normally, all I could smell there was the damp underground air, along with paper and ink.

Yet a sharp scent, entirely at odds with those refined aromas, filled the underground space.

If there had been smoke as well, I would have thought a fire had broken out in the Anomaly Records Office because of a Black Lotus Society raid.

“Oh! You came at just the right time!”

“Why aren't you reporting to the Medical Hall? What are you doing here?”

Unlike the other Records Officers, who only needed to focus on work for the Anomaly Records Office, the Black Lotus Society-certified Eccentric Physician, also called a special physician in the Martial Alliance, held a high-ranking post in the Medical Hall as well.

Unless there was a special reason, such as during the newcomer training period when he had overseen me, he should have been at the Medical Hall in the mornings.

The Eccentric Physician chuckled.

“People in high positions can arrive at work a little late. They'll probably assume I'm climbing mountains to gather medicinal herbs again. More importantly, take a look at this.”

He shook the red, gourd-shaped porcelain bottle in his hand. My brow furrowed.

The stopper was clearly sealed tightly, yet a pungent scent seemed to leak out in faint waves and envelop my face.

“What on earth is that? Why does it smell like this?”

“Huh. You can smell this?”

“Doesn't Brother Peng or Records Officer Jade Scale say anything?”

“Hm? Jade Scale is always breathing in the scent of blood from the bookbinding room, so she probably won't think much of it. Peng Juhyeok and I can't smell this at all. It might be different if we circulate internal energy.”

“You mean it's difficult to smell even while circulating internal energy?”

Even masters who had reached the Peak realm or higher found the scent difficult to detect. Yet I could smell it...

‘Then whatever is inside that bottle must be connected to an Anomaly.’

“What did you bring here?”

“A special potent poison made by the Sichuan Tang Clan.”

“What?”

“It's fine. It may be a potent poison, but eating it won't kill you. It just... numbs your senses a little.”

“Isn't that usually called paralytic poison?”

“I prefer to call it surgical anesthetic.”

Good heavens.

The Medical Hall of the Martial Alliance was praised for having the greatest medical expertise in the martial world, thanks to its swift and precise surgeries. Was that reputation really built on poison?

“Why... did you bring that here?”

“Do you know how hunting dogs have their sense of smell trained?”

“Don't people make them become accustomed to a scent by using parts of the same kind of prey they need to catch?”

If they needed to find a deer, they would be made to smell deer meat or antlers. It was a primitive but intuitive method.

“Exactly. After seeing you yesterday, I thought you needed that sort of training.”

I had been thinking something similar on my way to work.

But what did that have to do with potent poison from the Sichuan Tang Clan?

“Do you want me to drink it?”

“I won't stop you if you want to drink it.”

“...No.”

The Eccentric Physician looked at me as though he were saying, ‘As expected, you really do enjoy eating Anomalies!’ It was terribly unfair.

“Isn't it strange? You usually perceive the scent of Anomalies as the aroma of a rare delicacy, yet this poison smells different.”

“That's right.”

That was why his explanation had felt off to me. It was clearly related to an Anomaly, but it had such an intense scent that it felt like I should not eat it.

“For reference, this bottle contains Feathered-Human Gu. The one you chewed up and ate.”

It was the food that had given the Eccentric Physician the wrong idea about my tastes. The outside had been savory, while the juices inside were sweet and delicious.

“...I don't remember it smelling like this.”

“Then smell this one.”

The Eccentric Physician took another porcelain bottle from his sleeve. This one was blue.

The pungent scent had already filled the records room, but when I focused internal energy into my nasal passages and heightened my senses, I could catch the scent of the blue bottle beneath it.

“Oh. The scent of the Feathered-Human Gu I smelled was closer to this. It has a savory scent that reminds me of fried wheat pancakes, the distinctive fragrance produced when grains meet heat.”

“Ah. This one contains Feathered-Human Gu as well. It's liquor, though.”

“...?”

The Eccentric Physician shrugged.

“I was curious why Anomalies tasted delicious to you. So I put Feathered-Human Gu into two things. One would definitely make you sick if you ate it, while the other would cause no real harm.”

“I can identify Anomalies that shouldn't be eaten through my sense of smell...”

“Exactly. Now that we know one criterion your sense of smell uses, you can make better use of that nose of yours.”

The Eccentric Physician grinned ominously, then delivered even more ominous news.

“I have a mission perfectly suited to you.”

Footnotes:

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