WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Ceaseless
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Northern Grand Duke’s Mad Son-in-Law ◈
Chapter 84: Poop
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‘A forest...’
Galahad frowned at the green surrounding him.
Lush trees filled every direction. Pointed leaves, broad leaves, all manner of leaves fluttered in the gentle breeze.
Grass thick enough to reach his knees brushed against his feet. Cheerful birdsong tickled his ears. A rich scent, as if grass had just been torn up right in front of him, filled his nose.
It was utterly natural. As though he had been born here...
Out of habit, Galahad searched his pocket for a cigarette.
There was none.
‘This isn’t reality.’
Addiction was a habit, and habits belonged to the unconscious. The unconscious made an excellent barrier.
Like now...
It was not a dream. Galahad, an agent, did not dream.
‘The forest, that one, Demonkin, high-ranking Demonkin...’
The instant he recognized those things, his mind gradually woke. Learned suspicion began picking apart the perfect circumstances one by one.
Galahad expanded his awareness. Defending against mental interference was basic for an agent. Mental interference was magic that became easy to break the moment one noticed something was wrong.
That was certainly how it worked. No, it had to be.
‘It won’t break.’
The birds still sang, the grass still swayed in the wind, and leaves fluttered down.
He had been on his way back from hunting with the Grand Duke. This was not the Demon Realm. Yet it had such complete control over him...
Then the bushes parted. The trees bowed and moved aside.
The Four-legged Demonkin slowly emerged.
With every step it took, grass turned into flowers. Petals scattered, recording its footprints.
The Four-legged Demonkin stopped before Galahad. It looked clearer than before.
[Kill the Emperor.]
Its voice rang through Galahad.
He grasped the situation.
‘Ah, a contract.’
The words he had spoken last time to summon the Demonkin seemed to have formed a contract. If it was a contract, things had become quite complicated.
[Kill the Emperor.]
Green bloomed from Galahad’s mouth. Grass grew.
The pain was clearer than before. Terrible pain swept over him.
‘It’s the contract’s effect.’
Galahad frowned in admiration. A red flower bloomed from his left eye. A bee flew over and landed on it.
It felt as if trees were growing inside his body. The pain of something bursting from within, layer after layer, was rather new.
“You lack patience. Don’t rush me.”
The Four-legged Demonkin raised the corners of its mouth.
[Kill the Emperor.]
“I intend to. But the Emperor isn’t James next door. I can’t just kill him, can I? I need help. In professional terms, that’s called an advance payment. How much can you give me?”
[Kill the Emperor.]
“You’re being unreasonable. If you keep this up, it’ll only delay things. I don’t mind the grass eating me, but could you leave my mouth alone? We’re negotiating.”
[Kill the Emperor.]
“There’s no getting through to you.”
[Kill the Emperor.]
“It’ll be a waste of effort.”
Galahad scattered into grass.
A new pain swept over him. His mind only grew clearer, as if it wanted him to feel the pain even better.
Galahad seriously watched the grass that had once been his body scatter away.
‘Is this mental interference too?’
Interesting.
It was mental interference at an unimaginable level. At this point, it could be called the ultimate form of mental interference.
Bugs crunched through Galahad’s body, now scattered grass.
Beyond them, the Four-legged Demonkin wore a faint smile.
‘So it’s saying it’ll give me private lessons every day whenever I sleep?’
The Four-legged Demonkin’s smile stiffened.
How thoughtful of it...
* * *
‘Just a little more...’
Galahad opened his eyes, breathing roughly.
A rough wooden wall came into view. He was in a carriage. Sweeping back his tangled hair, he looked for a cigarette.
There was one.
He put it between his lips and hurriedly lit it.
A deep lemon scent spread through him.
‘A contract, huh.’
It had seemed willing to help, but it appeared to be doing so only to fulfill the contract.
‘Kill the Emperor.’
Galahad quietly muttered the words.
It was now certain that the Emperor was tying up capable people. The resulting gap was immense. It was the biggest reason Demonkin could spread their influence across the continent.
The Grand Duke alone proved it. He was a man who tore off Monster heads to fill his stomach.
If the Grand Duke had actively moved, the North would not have become so saturated with Demonkin.
It was not only the Grand Duke’s problem.
There were more than one or two capable people who had gone into hiding.
That was the greatest reason Demonkin had become so rampant.
Even apart from that...
‘The Emperor has been absent for too long.’
The Imperial Family had never been a warm place, but now it was a silent battlefield. Its master, the Emperor, had been away for far too long.
Ironically, this was not the first time Galahad had received a request to assassinate the Emperor.
It had fallen through because of the Princess’s betrayal, but Galahad had considered it too.
Quite a few people wanted the Emperor dead.
One time, ironically, the Imperial Family itself had assigned him the mission.
It was an assassination request meant to strengthen Imperial security.
The Imperial Family trusted knights more than magic. The Imperial Knights were where geniuses from across the continent gathered. Breaking into a palace packed with such knights was nearly impossible.
Back then, Galahad had failed before the final door.
[How did you get this far?]
The stunned expression on the Imperial Knights’ commander had been quite entertaining.
Galahad had emphasized that as long as people were involved, there would always be holes.
The Imperial Family hurriedly added magical security. They invited various high-ranking mages for the task.
That was where Galahad had met the Master of the Twilight Magic Tower.
In any case, once magical defenses had been added, the Imperial Palace had actually become easier for Galahad.
The problem came afterward.
If he killed the Emperor, he would surely become the Empire’s number one public enemy. That had to be avoided.
The Four-legged Demonkin was pressing him, but there was no need to hurry.
At worst, he would lose some sleep.
Boom! Boom!
At the heavy beat of drums, Galahad turned toward the window.
Soldiers stood in formation all around the Grand Duke’s castle.
It looked as if every soldier inside had come out. The sight of soldiers packed across the enormous castle walls was quite imposing.
Even combined, though, they were no match for the Grand Duke alone.
The Grand Duke rode a horse with fire burning from its hooves and five eyes.
The vicious-looking Grand Duke was shirtless atop such a horrifying Monster. There was nothing to say except that they suited each other.
He looked like the bravest warrior to rise from hell.
Even the brave northern soldiers wore horrified expressions.
Galahad followed the Grand Duke into the castle. When he stepped down from the carriage, the soldiers looked him over as though they had seen a ghost. His return alive from the hunt seemed rather impressive to them.
The Grand Duke was already walking far ahead. Not even saying goodbye was very much like him.
Galahad preferred it that way. It was clean and simple.
He put another cigarette between his lips.
First, he planned to look after the Special Operations Unit.
Then a familiar figure approached him.
It was Theodore.
“His Grace asks that you join him for a meal upstairs.”
“Hmm, I’m not in the mood.”
“Haha, he said it was an order.”
Theodore spoke with an awkward smile.
‘He must have liked the wedding gift quite a lot.’
He had to eat alone with that vicious Grand Duke. Galahad wanted to refuse, but it was an order.
“Haha, it seems His Grace is especially fond of you, Commander Galahad.”
“I’m going to get indigestion.”
Theodore burst out laughing, then hurriedly covered his mouth.
* * *
Grrr!
The Monster’s cry shook the room. It was not even an intermediate Monster, so it was not threatening.
The problem was...
‘He really brought it into the room.’
Galahad frowned at the Monster beside the Grand Duke.
The Monster was enormous. The entrance had been far too small for it.
Most people would have left the Monster outside in that situation.
The Grand Duke had faced the problem head-on.
No, he had smashed through it.
The Grand Duke had hacked away every obstructing part with an axe. After expanding the room like that, he had stubbornly brought the Monster all the way inside.
Galahad rather liked how warm the room was from the fire it gave off.
The Grand Duke only tore apart meat, making Galahad wonder why he had been summoned at all. Galahad lightly grilled his own meat as he ate.
By the time Galahad finished his meal, the Grand Duke was tearing into his fifth piece of meat.
It was remarkable that he could eat something else after consuming so many Monsters.
Galahad watched him for a moment before speaking.
“My family will not come.”
The Grand Duke’s eyes turned toward Galahad.
“You must not get along.”
At the Grand Duke’s flat voice, Galahad raised the corners of his mouth. The Grand Duke likely already knew all about his circumstances.
“Yes. I’m the child they cast out.”
“Even the Academy’s youngest graduate was cast out?”
“It is a family of swordsmen.”
The Grand Duke did not react much, as though he had already known.
“They dare skip my daughter’s engagement ceremony?”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
Galahad frowned at the unexpected answer. The Grand Duke’s brows rose slightly, as though he was not joking.
The Grand Duke was actually glad Galahad’s family would not come. The reason was obvious.
‘My family would only get in the way, is that it?’
The North held deep resentment toward the Empire. The Grand Duke clearly intended to look after Galahad alone. That was why he welcomed Galahad’s family not appearing.
Compared to when he had no intention of letting them marry at all, it was tremendous progress.
‘So I really am a live-in son-in-law.’
Galahad touched his neck for no reason.
Then the door gently opened.
Adrianna entered, dressed in elegant white armor instead of that ridiculous armor she usually wore.
“Adrianna, Commander of the First Battalion, reporting back.”
Adrianna gave the Grand Duke a small bow. He nodded.
“We found traces of the city, but they are faint because everything has been destroyed. The commander of the Second Battalion is pursuing them, but the outlook is not good.”
The Grand Duke nodded at Adrianna’s report.
“Eat.”
“Understood.”
Galahad immediately stood and pulled out the chair beside him.
Adrianna, who had been about to sit across from Galahad, paused.
The Grand Duke’s gaze stabbed into Galahad. Galahad did his best to ignore it and pointed at the chair.
“Sit here.”
“...You didn’t need to pull out my chair.”
“It’s basic manners.”
Adrianna hesitated for a moment, then sat beside Galahad.
Satisfied, Galahad sat down.
When he leaned against the backrest, Adrianna’s remarkably high-bridged nose partly blocked the Grand Duke from view. Only then did he feel as if he could digest his food.
“How was the hunt?”
“It was quite fun. His Grace and I even made a bet while hunting.”
“Ah, you made a bet?”
Adrianna’s gaze briefly shifted to the Grand Duke. There was a strange atmosphere in the room. The Grand Duke was looking at the Monster beside him.
“How did the bet turn out?”
“I won by a narrow margin. Thanks to His Grace’s consideration.”
“I did not show consideration.”
“That’s right. It turns out I have a natural talent for hunting Monsters as well.”
The Grand Duke’s brows creased slightly. Adrianna’s eyes widened.
“That is impressive. To defeat His Grace, who hunts Monsters whenever he gets the chance.”
“Ahem.”
The Grand Duke coughed quietly.
“His Grace’s skill goes without saying. It was only because his opponent was me.”
The Grand Duke’s brows shot up.
Galahad subtly hid behind Adrianna.
A faint scent of blood mixed with the smell of ash clung to Adrianna. It was the scent of the front lines.
“Then what is that Monster?”
Adrianna pointed at the Grand Duke’s horse Monster.
“My horse.”
“That is not a horse. It is a Monster. Monsters cannot be tamed. Didn’t this cause trouble before as well?”
Galahad quietly admired Adrianna for speaking so honestly even to the Grand Duke.
‘He tried this several times before.’
The Grand Duke was large enough to rival a Monster. No horse could possibly bear that massive body.
Even so, he had tried to tame Monsters.
It was very like the Grand Duke.
“Are you planning to display another one?”
At Adrianna’s words, Galahad quietly sighed.
Those countless Monster heads hanging on the walls were evidence of his efforts. There were all kinds, from snakes to lions and even birds.
‘That’s why he was so pleased.’
He seemed to have unintentionally given the Grand Duke the finest wedding gift possible.
“Rather than a Monster, the situation in the North...”
“I took care of it for you.”
Galahad smoothly cut in as Adrianna continued her blunt criticism.
“...What? You took care of it?”
“I adapted the Monster Tamer’s magic circle and tamed it. It will not cause trouble. It requires a considerable amount of Monster blood to maintain, but surely His Grace will handle that well enough.”
This time, the Grand Duke’s brows rose while Adrianna’s lowered.
Balancing those was becoming rather tricky.
Adrianna’s brows dropped sharply. Her eyes became fierce.
“Did you say Monster Tamer? The Monster Tamer was one of the Five Great Evils who inflicted tremendous damage while fighting on the Demonkin’s side during the Jema War. Are you saying you used a villain’s technique?”
Adrianna’s honest criticism turned toward Galahad.
He clicked his tongue softly.
“Imagine there is a wicked blacksmith. A terrible blacksmith who makes an amazing sword and uses it to oppress the villagers. He’s a piece of trash.”
“Even if someone has a famous sword, it is useless if their swordsmanship is poor.”
“That is true. But this sword is so incredible that when you swing it, fire burns your opponent.”
“A magic sword. I understand.”
Adrianna nodded seriously.
Galahad briefly considered explaining that this was a metaphor before continuing.
“Yes, a magic sword. Anyway, the blacksmith kills and mistreats villagers with the magic sword. One day, a boy secretly steals it and drives the blacksmith away with it. Is the boy a villain then?”
“No.”
“Exactly. That is what I mean.”
Adrianna looked at Galahad for a moment.
He opened his mouth again.
“Now, imagine there is a very wicked blacksmith...”
“...I understand. But magic swords crave blood. If he keeps holding it, the boy will become a blacksmith.”
“The boy is very clever. Once the blacksmith is gone, he will put down the magic sword.”
Adrianna silently stared at Galahad.
Her blue eyes were so clear that they pricked at his chest.
Galahad subtly tilted his face toward her. Startled, Adrianna turned her face away.
Then Galahad met the Grand Duke’s eyes.
“So he was a thief.”
The Grand Duke viciously raised the corners of his mouth.
Galahad cleared his throat softly to change the subject.
After thinking for a long time, Adrianna looked at Galahad and spoke.
“You must be careful with magic swords. That is separate from whether I trust you.”
At her serious answer, Galahad quietly nodded.
His neck felt a little heavy.
Adrianna then began eating.
The Grand Duke seemed in quite a good mood. Whenever Adrianna was present, he softened slightly.
He changed from a high-ranking Monster into a supreme-grade Monster.
The atmosphere could be considered rather pleasant.
Galahad recalled what he wanted.
‘A reward for the Demonkin City.’
Adrianna had returned after confirming the Demonkin City, so the Grand Duke would now grant him a reward.
Still, he had to rule out the possibility of receiving the Grand Duke’s recognition again. He no longer needed it.
Galahad wanted something else.
Only the Grand Duke could give it to him.
The opposition would surely be fierce.
So Galahad carefully opened his mouth.
“I heard you would grant me a reward for the Demonkin City.”
“That is correct.”
“Destroying a city with a high-ranking Demonkin called the Ruler inside, along with more than two hundred Demonkin, is quite a great achievement, is it not?”
Galahad lightly poked Adrianna’s armor.
Adrianna, who had been eating diligently, was slightly startled before nodding.
“That is correct. If we had left it unchecked any longer, it would have certainly become a serious danger. It is a great achievement.”
Adrianna added her opinion.
The Grand Duke’s brows creased slightly.
“Tell me what you want.”
The Grand Duke asked roughly.
Galahad immediately came to the point.
“The legalization of the Magic Stone Mine business.”
The silence lasted only a moment.
The air instantly grew heavy. The Grand Duke’s fierce presence pressed down on Galahad. The Monster beside him screamed and staggered.
Surprise crossed Adrianna’s face. She had not expected this.
“Are you speaking of Demonkin poop?”
The Grand Duke’s voice was indifferent. Galahad felt as if someone were squeezing his throat. He touched his neck as he answered.
“Not Demonkin poop. Magic Stones.”
“I went easy on you because you seemed useful, and now you’re getting carried away.”
The Grand Duke’s reaction was intense.
It seemed Magic Stones had an even worse reputation than Galahad had thought.
The Grand Duke glared at him. If his gaze could kill Galahad, he would have died about three times already.
‘He called me useful even now. Does that mean I have received his recognition?’
Galahad glanced at Adrianna.
Even Adrianna, his reinforcement, was glaring fiercely.
“Magic Stones are cursed objects. Demonkin, Monsters, and lawless people from the Empire all seek them. Countless northern warriors have been sacrificed because of them. Legalizing Magic Stones is a complicated matter.”
Adrianna quickly explained.
He could understand their opposition. To the North, which rejected magic, Magic Stones were no more than shining rocks. Worse, they were a nuisance that constantly attracted greedy people.
But...
“First, Magic Stones are not Demonkin poop. In the capital, Magic Stones cost more than gold. Only ignorant people who do not understand their value insist they are rocks.”
The Grand Duke’s brows bent sharply.
Galahad did not avoid his gaze as he continued.
“And do we not lack a budget? Even if it were Demonkin poop...”
Adrianna became strangely anxious at Galahad’s upright posture.
She had begun to understand his personality, if only a little.
But this was in front of the Grand Duke...
Then Adrianna realized Galahad’s eyes were faintly smiling.
It was the look he had before causing trouble.
She tried to stop him, but Galahad’s mouth was faster.
“If we have no money, we should pick up poop and sell it.”
Adrianna’s brows shook violently.
Footnotes:
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