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◈ The Regressor and the Blind Saintess ◈

Chapter 23: The End of the White Night - 5

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Rene listened closely to Vera's voice.

There was a longing in it that he could not possibly hide.

"I thought I could reach it. That if I kept walking, someday I would at least catch the tail of that light. That was how I have walked."

There was doubt.

"Then, as I chased that light, I suddenly turned around and looked, only to find that I had not moved forward a single step."

And at the end of it, there was hatred.

"I thought I was doing something grand. I thought I was walking after an indescribable glory. Yet only belatedly did I realize it had all been an illusion."

...There was hatred for himself, enough to be called self-loathing.

After his words, Rene heard the sound of a restrained breath fading into the air.

"Was that so?"

"Yes. In the end, it was. I, this foolish man, still could not walk forward."

Rene gave a small nod at his words, letting him know she had heard everything he said.

She still did not know what Vera meant.

She could not know what light he sought, or what that light meant to him.

Yet she knew the emotions within those words.

The longing that made one's entire insides burn away, the doubt that turned the world gray, and the self-loathing that grew like fruit at the end of it all.

Rene knew all those things.

So she asked.

"So, is that why you're sad?"

Vera barely managed an answer, his voice even lower than before.

"...Rather than sadness, I think fear would be more fitting. The fear that things will remain this way. That I may never reach that light in the end. I believe such fear lies within me."

Vera lowered his head. Shame was welling up inside him.

"I lived as evil all my life, and only belatedly realized it was wrong. So I tried to change."

Once again, his past life passed through Vera's mind. That vile creature, too foul to describe.

"Yet perhaps realization alone was not enough. This body still remembers those years. I find myself wondering whether nothing will ever change, no matter what I do."

Though he knew these words would make no sense to Rene, Vera spoke them like a confession.

Listening to him, feeling the emotions he conveyed, Rene nodded.

Then, at a thought that passed through her mind, she felt a small smile rise to her lips.

"You're a fool, Sir Knight."

"Yes, I am the greatest foo..."

"Not like that. You don't even remember what you said."

Vera's body jolted, the movement making a faint rustle. Rene's smile deepened.

She clearly remembered what Vera had told her whenever she spoke like that.

"No one can know."

It could have been called a commonplace comfort, yet it was a phrase that had pierced her heart.

"Even the gods in the heavens cannot know whether you truly will not change, or whether you will come closer to that light than anyone else in this world."

Vera's eyes widened as though they would split apart.

"Those were your words to me. Have you forgotten them already?"

Her smile filled his vision.

Her words reached his ears.

They overlapped with the woman she had once been.

Everything that made up Rene was different from back then, yet they still overlapped.

Her burned and melted skin over skin without a single blemish. Her twisted smile over the curve of her lips. Her hair matted with filth over hair that shone beneath the bright sun.

They overlaid one another as though becoming one, and for an instant, Vera wondered if he had returned to that time.

His thoughts drifted blankly. His mouth opened and closed. His fingertips, having nowhere to go, grasped at empty air.

"Sir Knight?"

He could not even answer her call as he stood there, staring blankly at Rene.

"Sir Knight?"

Only at her second call did he manage to answer in a dazed voice.

"Yes..."

"Um, did that upset you?"

At Rene's awkward smile and question, Vera hastily spoke, flustered.

"No. You are right."

"Is that so?"

"It is truly so."

A smile once again rose to Rene's lips.

Vera felt as though his soul had left him once more. Then Rene took another step toward him.

Vera instinctively stepped back.

Thud.

His back struck the fence behind him, leaving him unable to retreat any farther. He could only stare blankly as she approached.

The distance between them closed.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Rene came closer, her cane striking the ground.

The cane touched the top of Vera's foot.

Only then did Rene stop. Leaving only enough space between them for one person to stand, she turned her head toward Vera.

"Could you give me your hand for a moment?"

At her request, Vera did not even think of refusing. He placed his hand over hers.

Vera's rough, scarred hand rested atop her small, pale one.

As he felt the warmth of her hand, its softness so unlike his own, his fingertips trembled. Then Rene placed her other hand atop their joined hands.

"...There's still something you haven't told me, isn't there?"

The words slipped from her like a murmur. Then came words that startled Vera.

"The smell of blood. It's awfully strong."

Vera flinched and tried to pull his hand away, but Rene tightened her grip and stopped him.

Squeeze.

Their skin pressed together without a gap. The warmth between them began to turn into heat.

"Tell me. As I said before, I'm blind, not stupid."

Her tone held a firmness stronger than anything he had heard from her before.

At that voice, at her resolute expression, at the warmth she conveyed, Vera felt hesitation rise from deep within him.

He had not wanted to make her worry. He had not wanted to place another burden on someone who was already suffering enough.

Yet those words kept trying to spill from his mouth.

What finally made him speak was her insistent question.

"Do you think there's any reason for you to be walking around a village this small smelling so strongly of blood?"

Her tone was firm, as though she would not tolerate a lie.

Unable to overcome that firmness, Vera spoke in a restrained voice.

"Saintess..."

His words trailed off. For some reason, his throat tightened, and he could not say it all at once. After biting his lip for a moment, he continued.

"...There are people after you."

The words came out as though torn from him.

Rene tightened her grip on his hand.

She could feel the heat in Vera's hand. She could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"...I am sorry for causing you concern."

Only then did Rene realize that this rigid paladin had said nothing because he had been considerate of her selfish feelings.

"You're really a fool."

"My apologies..."

"Don't."

She realized that he had been enduring it alone, all because he was considerate of her selfish feelings.

For some reason, her chest felt tightly clenched.

Feeling that, Rene continued in a slightly trembling voice.

"Don't apologize. Don't say you're sorry. Just..."

She could not bring herself to say that he should have simply dragged her away, even if he had to force her.

She could see too clearly how she would have reacted if Vera had done that. And because she knew it was not something she should say when he was being so considerate of her, Rene bit her lip.

The hand touching hers was large. It was a hand that bore the life Vera had lived.

By Vera's own words, it was a hand that had struggled to chase the light.

Rene stroked the back of that slightly cold hand and continued.

"...Thank you."

Vera's hand twitched, trying to pull away again.

Rene held on more tightly, stopping him once more before adding,

"Let's go. To the Holy Kingdom."

Honestly, even at the moment she spoke those words, Rene did not want to face the gods.

No, Rene still hated the gods. She resented the world.

Yet...

"Because you're being such a fool and won't tell me, Sir Knight. I'm so frustrated that I have to go."

She could not hurt others because of that.

There was someone here who cared for her this much. She could not make him suffer for her selfishness.

If there was someone silently holding his place beside her, she could not turn her back on him.

At least, that was what Rene thought.

Rene turned her head toward Vera again.

"Whether I can truly become the Saintess..."

Whether she could forgive the gods, whether she could accept this Authority as a blessing.

"...No one can know."

Because that moment had not yet come. Because the future was not decided.

"I'm still lacking, but you believe in me despite that. So I'll go. To the Holy Kingdom."

As she spoke, Rene used the Authority she had not used even once since the day she received her Holy Mark.

Pure white divinity bloomed.

The blooming divinity enveloped Vera.

As it seeped into his skin, Vera felt the physical fatigue that had accumulated from staying awake through the night melt away like snow.

Vera looked toward Rene.

Rene, smiling faintly as she let divinity bloom, looked like a Saintess painted into a picture.

It was a strange sensation.

It felt as though only the world around her had been separated from everything else and was shining brilliantly.

It was a sight that stole every gaze, one that naturally gave rise to something that could only be called reverence.

Vera watched her, then moved his lips and spoke.

"It is not something no one can know."

"Pardon?"

"You will become a saint truly worthy of being called the Saintess."

A brief laugh escaped Rene.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I will make it so. There is no possibility otherwise."

The moment he spoke, Vera felt the covenant engraved upon his soul burn warmly.

His body trembled at the feeling that warmed him to his core, and he moved his lips again.

"Even if you stumble and fall, I will remain at your side so you can rise again. Saintess, you will become a greater saint than anyone."

Rene laughed again. A smile also appeared on Vera's lips, though he did not notice it himself.

"Can you guarantee it?"

"I can swear it."

As he spoke, Vera manifested his Holy Mark.

The covenant engraved upon his soul. Over it, he pressed another covenant into place.

"For the Saintess, so that you may attain the greatest glory. That is how I will live."

The covenant burned. The brilliantly burning covenant over his dark soul brought Vera a sense of fulfillment.

It did not fill him with greater strength.

Nor was he granted more divinity.

The two overlapping covenants merely made Vera's heart firmer.

Rene nodded at his words and continued her thoughts.

She did not know why Vera was so devoted to her.

She could only vaguely think that this Authority of the Lord's, and the fact that she was the Saintess, must be tremendously important to him.

She did not dislike it.

Whatever the reason, he had given her such feelings. Would it not be right for her to return them?

He trusted her, so should she not trust him as well?

Feeling the smile on her lips and the warmth conveyed through her fingertips, Rene moved her lips slightly.

"Yes. I'm counting on you."

After saying it, for some reason, her chest felt ticklish.

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