The Regressor and the Blind Saintess - Chapter 53

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Natty

◈ The Regressor and the Blind Saintess ◈

Chapter 53: The Eve - 3

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Rene knew.

Vera was not someone who spoke nonsense. He must have considered countless things before reaching such a conclusion. There was a high chance he was right.

At Vera's words, Rene thought back on Freide, whom she had spent the past few weeks with.

Personally, Rene did not think kindly of Freide. It might have been her imagination, but she could not bring herself to think well of an elf who might have designs on Vera.

Still, setting that aside, Freide was a pitiful elf to Rene.

A life without knowing emotions, a life spent dry and barren for a length of time humans could not dare imagine, seemed terribly sad to Rene.

"...I have a duty to protect the Saintess. Please take that into consideration."

Those were Vera's words.

Rene tightened her grip on his hand.

"Freide... Yes, perhaps they are suspicious."

Rationally speaking, withdrawing now was the right choice.

But...

"Vera."

"...Yes."

"Is that a reason to turn our backs on the elves who live here?"

Rene believed there were things that had to be protected, even at the cost of taking risks, even if they brought harm upon herself.

Words Vera had once spoken to her three years ago.

Words that had now become a guidepost for her life.

"...We don't know."

They did not know. No matter what he said, it was still only a guess.

If they were not certain, should they not believe in the possibility that they might be wrong?

"If that guess is wrong, the elves will be finished without being able to stop the Noier."

Vera had certainly taught her that.

That if the future was not decided, one must not let go of possibility. Those were the words Vera had spoken to her when she had been drowning in despair.

Those words had allowed her to rise again.

And so, Rene felt sad.

The fact that Vera, who had become her light, was trying to turn away from others brought her sadness.

From Vera's direction came the sound of teeth grinding.

Rene spoke as their disagreement showed no sign of narrowing.

"Vera, do you remember?"

"...What do you mean?"

"What you said to me. That you pursued the light."

A startled tremor passed through Vera's hand.

Feeling it, Rene continued with a small smile.

She continued with words that were almost unreasonable, words that might truly put everyone in danger.

"...Is turning away from the elves because of a danger that may come really something that helps you pursue that light?"

Vera's hand tightened around hers.

Rene thought it was an unconscious action. Vera would never intend to harm her, so this painful grip could not be his will.

"Vera."

"...Yes."

"Could we not watch a little longer?"

Could he not trust those elves, trust Freide, as he had trusted her?

Could he not become their light as he had already become hers?

Rene placed her other hand over her increasingly aching one and added,

"...You're strong, Vera. So couldn't you watch a little longer?"

Rene did not speak of faith. She did not speak of duty as an Apostle. She did not speak of anything she did not believe in.

She only spoke of the most natural principle she believed in.

"We're still all right, aren't we?"

Those with more room to spare should give to those who had none. Those with strength should be able to protect those without it.

That was what humanity was to Rene. That was the principle she knew.

Once, she could not believe in any of it. But because of Vera, she had come to understand that principle once more.

Because Vera had found her, because he believed in her even when she could do nothing.

Rene could believe in that simple principle.

Vera was the strongest and most upright person in her world. And Vera believed in her.

That was why she could think of others again. Why she could become someone who would choose what was right in the face of danger.

And so, Rene hoped.

"Can't we?"

She hoped Vera's upright light would shine upon the elves as well.

She hoped it would let them rise as she had, and live to see tomorrow.

Silence continued for a long time.

There was... no answer.

* * *

The silence continued until they returned to where Aidrin was.

Vera left Rene with Hella, then went to a quiet place where no one else was around. Staring blankly at the fallen leaves, he continued to think.

Is turning away from the elves because of a danger that may come really something that helps you pursue that light?

Vera brushed a hand over his face. He could not forget Rene's words.

The moment he heard them, he had been unable to say anything. All he could do was feel his pounding heart and lower his head in shame.

In that moment, Rene's words had made him ashamed. He felt as though he had been stripped naked and thrown into the middle of a street.

A weak laugh escaped Vera's lips.

What an idiot...

Was he not a shameless, petty man?

He saw himself, always boasting that he lived for Rene's sake.

At some point, he had become buried in that covenant and failed to see what he truly should have seen.

Vera asked himself.

What had the covenant been for?

What had been the purpose of the covenant he made at the end of his previous life, the vow to live for her?

...To pursue the light.

Could even someone as ugly as himself draw close to that light? If he remained by her side, could he finally become human? Could he live a life worthy of being called a life?

Was that not the hope with which he had made that covenant?

Was that not the covenant he had made to finally live a human life?

Then what was this state he was in now? What was this pathetic sight of him, unable to say a word before her question and only lowering his head?

He thought he had understood ignorance.

But he had not even understood his own ignorance.

He was still Vera, petty and selfish.

He had been too busy being proud of standing in the place of Rene's protector to realize that he himself had not changed at all.

What truly had to change for him to change was himself. Yet Vera had not even realized that. He had only waited for Rene to change. He had waited for Rene to awaken as the Saintess.

He thought that if that happened, everything would work itself out.

He had believed that his own change would naturally come if Rene awakened.

Vera recalled Rene's question once more.

Is turning away from the elves because of a danger that may come really something that helps you pursue that light?

Something that would help him pursue his light, help him draw closer to it.

The path he had to walk for that sake was...

...Wrong.

This was not it.

It was not turning away from even the most basic principle.

He had grown complacent. He had been satisfied simply staying by Rene's side and had not thought to move forward.

He had mistakenly believed that was enough.

His life... this second life was one in which he had resolved to become a protector.

A life in which he had sworn never to make excuses to himself, never to leave even a single regret behind.

Standing there blankly, Vera closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He unfolded his inner landscape.

It was a mire, covered only by a thin shell of ignorance.

Vera peeled away that ignorance and overturned the mire beneath it. Not to be humble by admitting his ignorance, but to draw up the true ignorance within himself.

From the mire, Vera retrieved an ignorance no larger than a grain of millet. The ignorance he had finally found was truly narrow and shabby in form.

With a quiet, hollow laugh, Vera carefully engraved what he had realized upon that ignorance.

Principle.

He inscribed the principle he had to uphold, the principle that would become the bedrock of the path he must walk.

Only now, seven years after engraving his covenant, had Vera finally been able to engrave that one thing.

* * *

Vera went before Aidrin's roots and looked for Rene.

He found her leaning beneath Aidrin's thickest root.

His footsteps stopped.

Remembering the shameful sight he had shown earlier, Vera clenched his teeth for a moment. Then he deliberately made his footsteps loud as he approached Rene.

"...Vera?"

Rene abruptly rose to her feet.

"...Yes, it's Vera."

"Ah... I'm sorry about earlier! You were only worried about me, but I only spoke from my own perspective..."

While speaking, Rene suddenly squeezed her eyes shut.

While Vera had been reflecting on himself, Rene had been regretting the words she had spoken to him, heat rising to her face.

Only after being left alone had she begun to wonder whether Vera had grown tired of her.

The result of desperately trying to apologize was this.

In a tearful voice, Rene stood frozen as she forced out one sentence after another.

Seeing her like that, Vera felt a small laugh escape him.

She had spoken what was clearly right, yet she was worried that she had hurt his feelings. It was so like her.

Vera approached Rene one step at a time and gently took the hand she was still clutching.

Rene flinched, and her words stopped.

Looking at the anxious Rene, Vera placed his other hand over their joined hands and spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Rene's body jerked.

"W-What for?"

Her body was trembling.

For some reason, Vera found the sight amusing. A faint smile escaped him before he continued.

"I wanted to apologize for making a selfish judgment and for failing to live up to the Saintess's expectations."

"Ah..."

"And I wished to thank you as well. The Saintess spoke what was truly right. This ignorant fool was once again blinded by what was before him and failed to see what he should have seen."

Vera felt Rene's hand fidgeting in his own. For some reason, it seemed slightly warm.

Only then did Vera realize he was holding Rene's hand tightly in both of his. As he tried to remove the hand he had placed over hers...

"I'm sorry..."

"No!"

Rene placed her other hand over his, stopping him from pulling away.

"N-No, not sorry!"

Vera tilted his head.

"Ahem! Yes! No apologizing."

As always, she spoke as though scolding him.

Vera gave a slight nod.

"...Yes."

"Hehe..."