WeTried Translations
Translator: ZEROSUGAR
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Royal Sentinel has a Strange Newspaper
Chapter 2
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Good Order, Good Inspection (1)
Su-ho urgently unfolded the newspaper.
It carried articles, freshly updated, from the next day.
『Second Uncle suffering from a hangover, causing a 60% drop in work efficiency... Travelling merchants fuming!』
『Mun Si-ah, treated like a younger sibling, stress levels skyrocketing. She has been searching for her late grandmother's lost keepsake for four days now, but remains clueless. The keepsake has, in fact, fallen beside a flowerpot in a corner of the restaurant...』[1]
『Father Mun Geum, reported missing and yet to be found. Upon receiving the news of his disappearance, the grandfather's condition is worsening.』
『Large quantities of the illegally cultivated narcotic herb 'Crystal Leaf' confirmed among the cargo wagons the family allowed through the South Gate yesterday! Doubts deepen over whether the South Gate's security measures are truly adequate.』
Su-ho scanned the articles with a trembling heart, though most of them were nothing more than trivial, mundane gossip.
It couldn't be helped.
This newspaper was called the [Prophecy Gazette, Family Edition]. Just as the name suggested, it was a publication that reported on the news of his family, nothing more.
It wasn't as though Su-ho's family were some secret society holding the world's hidden truths. They were simply retainers belonging to a fairly ordinary household.
Retainers who had served the barony governing the South Gate of the capital for generations. What kind of earth-shattering news could possibly come out of that?
(The revelation that his socialite aunt had secretly been hiding her hair loss for the past three years was, admittedly, a little surprising.)
"Still, I have to squeeze out as much information as I can!"
Flip, flip. He was diligently reading through the paper when, all of a sudden...
"...?"
A certain section of the page caught his eye without warning. It took him a moment to notice, since it was the kind of thing he would have glossed over without a second thought on any other day.
It was the advertisements column.
What's this? Su-ho furrowed his brow. Advertised there were products of an entirely different class from those found in any ordinary newspaper.
[Consumable] In-Depth Report Subscription Ticket, Single Use
(30 Points) (Always available) (Readable immediately upon purchase)
*Has an article ever left you feeling like something was missing? Have you ever wanted to explore the event or subject of an article in greater depth? This product has been prepared for discerning subscribers like you.
*In-Depth Reporting. While not as detailed as a special serialised feature, it guarantees coverage that is clearly superior to a standard article. Experience information of a higher calibre!
*Can only be purchased once per day.
[Consumable] Contraband Magnifying Spectacles, One-Day Pass
(10 Points) (Limited sale) (Restock date unconfirmed)
*Exhausted from having to inspect dozens of cargo wagons one by one, day after day? Treat yourself to a refreshing day in the life of a gatekeeper today!
*A pair of magnifying spectacles will be provided for one day. Any goods being illegally distributed will appear highlighted in red. Note: people are not treated as goods, with the exception of slaves.
*This product is featured in the advertisements column on a limited, one-day basis. The date of any future restock has yet to be confirmed. We appreciate your understanding.
[Consumable] Exclusive Scoop, Ten Years Ahead, Preview Ticket, Single Use
(100 Points) (Limited sale) (No restock)
*Unbeatable deal! A product ordinarily priced at 1,000,000 Points, now available at this price?!
*This publication normally provides only daily articles. Today, and today only, you have a special opportunity to experience an "extra edition from ten years in the future."
*A one-time taste of the "Kingdom Edition," a tier far beyond even the Family Edition, will be granted to you. Sample the Prophecy Gazette's exceptional coverage for yourself!
*Limited-time product. Available for one day only. Enjoy this exclusive new-subscriber benefit that will never come around again!
"...!"
It struck Su-ho like a bolt of lightning.
"You can actually buy things from the advertisements column?!"
He had wondered what the subscription points were for when he first received them, and it turned out they were there specifically for shopping through the advertisements column.
The product that caught his eye above all else was the one listed at the very bottom, the upgrade ticket.
[Upgrade] Family Edition to Clan Edition
(300 Points) (Always available) (No refunds)
*Tired of only receiving news about your family? This was made for you. The subscription upgrade service!
*From this point forward, you will receive a newspaper covering not just your own family, but the entire noble house of the lord your clan serves. Enjoy an even wider range of news from the Prophecy Gazette.
"Good heavens."
If he could just upgrade his newspaper from the Family Edition to the Clan Edition, the quality of information that would come his way would change beyond all comparison.
"Our family just does pat-down searches at the city gate and handles all sorts of odd jobs, but..."
"The baron is a different matter entirely! His lordship is a true noble with his own noble district right here in the capital!"
Su-ho had never even exchanged a word with the head of the baron's house. That was a privilege reserved solely for his father, the patriarch and head of the gatekeeper clan.
If he were to receive daily reports about the secrets of such an esteemed house, what endlessly fascinating days would follow.
"But... the upgrade ticket is 300 points."
For now, it was nothing but a dream.
"I need something I can buy and test out today, right now!"
Su-ho weighed the advertisements carefully.
The pounding in his chest, which had been driven by sheer anxiety when he left for work that morning, had by now shifted into something far more pleasant. A quiet, excited thrill.
He had spent nearly twenty years living in this other world, and for all that time he had gone without anything that could properly be called a cheat ability. There had been more than a few days where he had simply made peace with the idea that he was probably going to die like this.
And then, right in the middle of that life, a newspaper this perfectly suited to his tastes had landed in his hands.
Su-ho made a sincere apology for every past day he had spent lamenting why of all places, he had to be reborn in such a backward kingdom. Long live His Majesty the King. He was so moved that he absent-mindedly bowed three deep, respectful bows to the royal portrait hanging in the checkpoint.
"This is really the only thing worth buying, isn't it."
After bowing, his head felt remarkably clear, and the item he would try first was decided.
【Consumable 'Contraband Magnifying Spectacles' One-Day Pass purchase complete.】
【10 Subscription Points have been consumed.】
【Thank you for your patronage of this publication's advertisements!】
【Current Subscription Points: 0】
The Contraband Magnifying Spectacles!
The timing could not have been better. He had only just learned from that morning's news that a large shipment of illegally cultivated narcotic herbs was going to be smuggled in today.
The royal court had, of late, been pouring considerable effort into cracking down on narcotics.
If they got caught up in an example-making sweep right now, the whole clan might end up hosting a collective head-chopping party, one right after another.
Glide. The moment Su-ho tapped on the product listing, the ink in the advertisements column burst with a sudden pop. The letters leapt off the page and began forming a shape entirely of their own accord.
Then, with another pop, the black ink exploded outward, and from it emerged a pair of spectacles with large, round lenses.
"Oh."
He put them on. It was his first time wearing glasses in this life, thanks to being born with vision sharp enough to put a hawk to shame, no worse than 3.0 at minimum.
In this kingdom to begin with, spectacles were considered a luxury item, crafted by individually cutting and polishing crystal lenses.
"I have to test these right away."
Su-ho walked over to his younger sister's checkpoint next door. On the way, he stopped by the restaurant and picked up the lost item while he was at it.
"Hey, how do I look today?"
"..."
"Is there anything different about me?"
"What kind of new nonsense is this?"
The same refreshing response as always.
Su-ho nodded. It seemed the magnifying spectacles, much like the Prophecy Gazette itself, had an automatic stealth effect when it came to other people's eyes.
That aside, his younger sister's under-eyes looked unusually hollow today. Could she be running low on iron?
A dutiful and attentive older brother couldn't help but worry.
"Ursalite crashed and we lost everything! Are you seriously that dense?!"
"Ah."
"I heard you put your entire savings in too, you illegitimate idiot! I only invested half of what I had saved up to now, and even that was too much... ugh! The rest of the family put in just as much as I did! We're ruined!"
"Hey, it's fine. Money is something you can always earn back."
"You, you..."
His sister's fingertips trembled.
"How can you stay so calm in a situation like this?"
It was understandable that she was stunned.
From where she was standing, the illegitimate brother in front of her had somehow lost more than 90% of his entire fortune and yet appeared completely unfazed.
Even a cultivator who had devoted their whole life to the martial path wouldn't have been able to maintain that kind of composure.
Of course, this was only possible as a misunderstanding because she didn't know Su-ho had experienced a "Double Your Assets Overnight" event the previous night.
Su-ho had no intention of correcting his blood relative's mistake. He considered himself a considerate older brother.
"Sister, money is something that goes around and comes around, here today and gone tomorrow, gone today and back tomorrow. But our duties as gatekeepers are something we cannot skip, not even for a single day. Remember that. His Majesty the King is watching over us."
"Huh? Why bring up His Majesty all of a sudden... ah. You've just completely lost your mind. Got it."
"What are you talking about? I always carry His Majesty's grace carved into my blood and bones, and I approach every day of work with a heart full of humble gratitude. Long live His Majesty the King! For the honor of Her Majesty the Queen!"
"What do I do? This guy's actually lost it."
"And here. You forgot this."
"......huh?"
"This is the keepsake Grandmother left behind, isn't it? I picked it up at the restaurant. Oh, and Second Aunt is having a hard time with hair loss."
"......?!"
"Brew her some herbal medicine that's good for the hair and bring it to her. I'm heading off."
"Ah. W-wait! You...!"
His sister called after him, saying something or other, but Su-ho ignored her and walked away with a brisk stride.
The South Gate of the capital, peaceful as ever and buzzing with cargo wagons, greeted another day.
"Well, they actually show up."
Su-ho, maintaining his position as the lone spectacles-wearing character, surveyed the surroundings at a leisurely pace, letting his gaze stretch far into the distance.
Here and there, scattered among the wagons, were cargo carts marked with text in bright red, scrawled like graffiti.
【Illegally Distributed Daggers】
【Smoked Fish Past Its Expiration Date】
【Grain Milled at an Unlicensed Windmill】
【Centipede Chicken with a Falsified Place of Origin】
【Sugar with Unpaid Customs Duties】
Such was the effect of the Contraband Magnifying Spectacles, One-Day Pass.
When he took the spectacles off, the writing on the wagon surfaces disappeared. When he put them back on, the text appeared again. He took them off and put them on, off and on...
"Fascinating."
Su-ho felt a warmth in his chest, as though he had briefly returned to the wonder of childhood.
"Most of them are just minor violations, though."
The kind of smuggled goods that fell squarely into the category of the usual run-of-the-mill offences.
To the experienced eye of Su-ho, a lower-ranked gatekeeper who had seen it all, the situation was assessed at a glance. He could make an issue of it if he wanted to, but catching them would only result in pocketing a small bribe and waving them through.
Today, Su-ho had no interest in reeling in the small fry.
How could a gentleman be swayed by petty gains when the greater picture was at stake? With his entire fortune doubled overnight, the tranquillity of his spirit had long since surpassed even the great Kang Tae-gong.
Clang! The dawn bell rang from the watchtower, a sound he had heard hundreds of times before.
"Open the gates!"
Morning shift, beginning. Work-mode formality, activated.
"All clear here. Next!"
"Oh, thank you kindly, gatekeeper-nim."
"Hmm. This gentleman's identification tag is authentic, but it only has two weeks left before it expires. You know that we can technically turn people away if there is less than about a year left, yes?"
"Ah, that, I forgot to get a new one issued. I'm sorry, gatekeeper-nim. Once I'm inside the capital, I'll make sure to get it renewed straight away."
"Yes, yes, please do mind that in the future. Next!"
Su-ho smoothly worked through the backed-up line of cargo wagons, sending them on their way one by one.
By contrast, the other clan sentinels working at their own checkpoints were slow in every sense of the word.
It was like watching office workers who had spent the whole night obsessively refreshing a stock-trading app, only to drag themselves into work the next morning.
Su-ho's father in particular, who had not yet gone missing at this point, had shown up with his uniform already in a state of disarray. He was completely unable to focus on the job.
Only at the checkpoint Su-ho was managing did the wagon lines move at any real pace.
His younger sister, noticing the scene a little late, gritted her teeth and forced herself back to work as well, but she was the only one among the clan who did.
As a natural result, the cargo wagons began to cluster toward specific checkpoints.
"What's going on? We got here long before them, so why are those people crossing the gate first? Our fish is going to rot at this rate."
"Looks like we picked the wrong line. Ugh, let's just move over there."
"No, whenever you switch lines in the middle, you always end up getting pushed to the back... ah, whatever. Let's go."
Rumble. A bottleneck formed, just like a highway toll plaza during a major holiday, and it all funnelled toward the two checkpoints: Su-ho's and his sister's.
It was a textbook case of those who worked getting more work dumped on them, and those who didn't getting away with doing even less. But Su-ho didn't particularly mind. That was just how this kingdom had always been.
And so, during that stretch of the workday when time moves with particular slowness, just before the lunch break...
Perk.
Su-ho's ears turned toward the neighbouring checkpoint.
"Sir, what's loaded on the wagon?"
His sister's voice was coming from over there.
"Ah, yes, gatekeeper-nim. Medicinal herbs. I have the Alchemy Hall commission letter right here."
"Okay... the commission letter looks legitimate. And where are you coming from?"
"Just made my way up from the Namu Marquessate. My goodness, I was on pins and needles the whole way, hauling such precious herbs!"
"Hmm."
A brief pause, as his sister seemed to weigh something. And then...
"Gatekeeper-nim. Think of this as a small token of appreciation from me, for your hard work every day. Hehe..."
The musical sound of metal coins being rubbed together followed.
It was the sound made by the kind of lubricant that was an absolutely essential part of social life in this kingdom. Occasionally, naive folks who knew no better would slander it as bribery.
"Oh, you didn't have to."
His sister's voice grew noticeably brighter.
With the family finances already on the verge of collapse, how could a young woman shouldering the household turn away someone else's goodwill?
"Yes, the travel record documents are fine too. You're clear to go."
"Oh, thank you kindly, gatekeeper-nim. Have a wonderful day."
"You too!"
In truth...
Su-ho had had his eye on that cargo wagon from the very beginning.
The reason he had been playing it so casually all this time was simply that he had been waiting for his sister to let the driver through.
"Hold it!"
Because the short distance between the forward inspection checkpoint and the city gate, that was precisely the spot. Caught between the checkpoint behind and the gate ahead, it was the perfect trap for any suspect, the hardest place in the world to run from.
"Stop!"
"..."
Su-ho's shout made the driver flinch.
The magic word, apparently still just as effective as it had been in his previous life.
Of course, magic always came at a cost. This time, the cost was the rapidly souring expression on his younger sister's face.
"Huh? What are you doing?"
"Sister, I'm sorry to say this, but I have serious doubts about whether the cargo wagon you just cleared was properly searched. Why didn't you probe it with a spear? Why didn't you disassemble and reassemble the wagon bed? Have you forgotten the five words of the Gatekeeper's Creed?"
"......ah, fu... ugh."
His sister's temperature spiked.
"I thought you were acting like a different person today. You ba... you idiot! Can't you see the wagons backed up out there? You and I are supposed to be clearing that line right now! It's not a special enforcement period, and what kind of lunatic checks every single wagon that thoroughly?!"
"This kind."
Thud. Su-ho drove the tip of his spear into the undercarriage of the wagon.
His sister yelped and jumped back.
"Are you insane?! Th-that wagon is commissioned by the Alchemy Hall! When those penny-pinchers hear that their goods got damaged, they're going to throw an absolute fit..."
Her cry did not go on for long.
Because the tip of Su-ho's spear had landed precisely on the section of the wagon's undercarriage plastered with red lettering.
【Illegally Cultivated Crystal Leaf】
【Illegally Cultivated Crystal Leaf】
【Illegally Distributed Longsword】
【Illegally Cultivated Crystal Leaf】
Creak, squeal. Clatter, clatter, clatter.
The herbs came spilling out.
The surroundings lit up in an instant, as though a cascade of silver coins had suddenly poured out, so dazzling that time itself seemed to pause at the inspection post.
In terms of value, they were less like silver coins and more like gold, but…
"..."
"..."
"Oh my. Fancy finding narcotics in such an esteemed location."
Su-ho alone remained perfectly unruffled.
Reporting narcotic smuggling? Dial 125.[2]
The customs authority hotline. And customs had originally meant the fees levied at the gates.
In this kingdom too, the right to "confiscate" smuggled goods and "dispose" of them as spoils belonged, first and foremost, to the person in charge of the gate.
The person in charge of the gate. That is to say, the sentinel.
As it happened, Su-ho's profession was also that of a sentinel.
"Sir. You're aware that all of this is subject to confiscation, yes?"
Su-ho was in an excellent mood.
It seemed that the celebration he would be attending today was not going to be a head-chopping party after all.
[1] Si-ah, 시아 (詩雅) means elegant poetry.
[2] In South Korea, 125 is the actual hotline number for the Korea Customs Service.
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