WeTried Translations
Translator: Goku
Editor: Sty
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The War Hero in the NTR Game Wants to Die ◈
Chapter 012
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Lingering Ties (6)
I left the room, but there was nowhere to go.
Eventually, my steps led me to the ballroom.
With a ridiculous dance playing, I blankly watched others laugh heartily and dance.
Somehow, I didn't even want to touch alcohol.
Especially in a place with so many people like this.
No matter how much I poured down, as long as there was something in front of my eyes, there was no way I could stop thinking.
Yes, I just vaguely watched.
What do I want to do?
For someone who's just living because I can't die, why did I crawl out to a place like this and watch people?
If I go to the capital like this and meet the commoner, like a rag, that 'Riehen' so yearned for, will anything truly be resolved?
She was a woman liked by an idiotic bastard who hanged himself because he couldn't meet a single girl... so it probably wouldn't be anything special.
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
I think the days I spent on the battlefield were much more comfortable.
Because if I just cut down the enemies that appeared before me, I could somehow let each day pass without a thought.
Even as I think this, if I were actually thrown back onto the battlefield, I'd probably be full of complaints again.
Anyone would do.
If I spread my arms, I wish there was someone who would hug me tightly and tell me everything is alright.
That it's okay to live in this world.
I wish there was just one person who would tell me it's okay to live so miserably.
"It's boring, isn't it?"
I was immersed in such pointless thoughts.
Adelaide appeared from somewhere.
The girl, unsuited for such a thing, was holding a bottle of wine and two glasses.
Suddenly, I spread my arms as if testing her.
Making my recent pointless thought meaningless, the girl merely tilted her head as if asking what I was doing, and then sat next to me anyway.
Just as expected.
"I don't particularly like these kinds of gatherings either."
Saying so, the girl who naturally sat next to me poured wine into my glass, then filled her own.
I took the glass, lightly clinked it, then slowly brought it to my lips and took a sip.
After lightly emptying one glass, Adel stood up and held out her hand to me.
"Care for a light dance?"
I wondered if the roles of man and woman weren't usually reversed in such a situation... but I just took her hand.
Adel then pulled me straight to the center of the ballroom.
As the music began to flow again, I slowly took steps.
A three-quarter beat.
Halting my steps, the girl kept glancing somewhere.
Where her gaze led... Roseline stood, watching us.
Adel, who was dancing with me, seemed to make eye contact with Roseline, smiled faintly towards her, and then spoke softly.
"Heh. Roseline Avenberg is staring at us as if she wants to kill us. I never thought I'd receive such a look from that woman."
"......"
"Why, are you also feeling burdened?"
It wasn't the gaze that burdened me.
It was just that Adel in front of me, and everyone around, all seemed to be solely expecting something from me... and I no longer wanted to be in this place.
"......Miss. Let's end the dance here."
I let go of the hand I was holding and stopped right there.
Adel, who had been moving to the rhythm, stumbled for a moment but didn't fall.
She merely looked at me with an expression of bewilderment.
As I left the dance floor mid-dance, gazes converged.
Though, it was just everyone glancing once while chatting and dancing as they normally would.
Adel, seemingly burdened by those gazes, looked around with trembling eyes, then followed me as I tried to leave.
"......D-Did I, again, overstep?"
She caught up and grabbed my sleeve, then, as our eyes met, she flinched slightly and quietly let go of my sleeve.
"Because you kept accepting... I, not knowing the extent, crossed a line... didn't I?"
"It's just... I'm dizzy from the alcohol... I must have drunk too much."
"...Is that so?"
"Yes."
The girl heard the answer, then subtly averted her gaze, bit her lip, and put on a smile.
It was an expression that showed she didn't believe it at all.
Then, as if fleeing, she turned her back and walked away quickly.
We'd only met a day ago.
I didn't know what to say, and even if I stopped her, I wouldn't know what else to say... so I just watched her retreating figure.
Well, it didn't seem like the girl would die just because of this.
Even if she did die, I probably wouldn't be sad.
After all, I had already experienced too many deaths to be sad just because someone I'd met only a day ago had died.
I was blankly watching until her figure disappeared.
Then, rustling footsteps came from beside me, and a low voice spoke.
"You crossed a line."
"......Roseline?"
"Riehen, you shouldn't act so insolent towards me in front of you."
It seemed Roseline had been following me.
Is she really crazy?
Wasn't she clearly overlooking the ballroom from the railing?
"By the way, what's this about going to the capital?"
"It's none of your business."
"Tell me."
I let out a hollow laugh and approached Roseline.
I looked at her lips, then casually scanned her to see if she was holding anything in her hands.
It doesn't matter if I die, since I'll just come back, but I'd rather not feel pain.
Anyway, as I approached, Roseline backed away.
"Since yesterday, you back away when I approach, and approach when I back away... what do you want?"
"...Don't leave."
"What?"
"Don't leave my side."
"Why?"
Roseline's face stiffened for a moment.
But soon it returned to that familiar expression.
An unpleasant, condescending look, as if admonishing and lecturing me.
"What can a useless, talentless person like you do in a place like that? The people in the capital... are just commoners who think they can ignore status if they have money."
"I can do something. I survived on the battlefield... what couldn't I do there?"
"If you go... you won't even receive proper noble treatment, will you? And... you won't be able to meet me like this. Whether it's me, or someone else."
"That's why I like it."
"......What?"
"If it's a place where you're not, anywhere is fine."
"...You said you were happy when you met me."
"Do I look happy now?"
"Why do you talk like that? Can't you just act like yourself? This isn't like you."
"......What is like me?"
"......"
"Is it like me to keep my mouth shut no matter what slander you spout, and just listen silently?
After hearing all sorts of contemptuous words... I thought you, of all people, would comfort me, but after hearing you say even worse things... is it like me to think I'm trash, just as you say?"
Suddenly, my head heated up and I drew the sword from my waist.
And I approached Roseline even closer.
"What are you to me to say such things?"
"Your fiancée. It was decided that way since childhood."
"Not anymore, right?"
She was a woman who backed away every time I approached.
Looking back now, all that came back to me, who yearned for affection so much, was always ridicule.
I vaguely recalled memories, then approached and grabbed her hair.
Forcing her to look at me, even against her will.
So she couldn't even avert her gaze.
So she couldn't back away any further every time I approached.
"If you're not my fiancée... you're nothing to me."
"...Why, why... Riehen, how could you... let go..."
"You're nothing. I don't love you, and I don't want to give or receive even the slightest bit of interest from a cowardly person like you."
Fearing Roseline would utter more unwanted words, I pressed the tip of my sword against her neck.
The blade lightly tore the skin.
A small bead of blood formed, then trickled down the blade's edge before my eyes.
"I don't want to exchange a single word with you, you goddamn- it's a waste of time even looking you in the eye right now."
"...You said you loved me?"
"How could I love you... who has only taken from me?"
I gently released the hair I was holding, roughly wiped the dagger I held once on my clothes, then hid it back in my embrace.
Then, as if her strength had given out from tension, Roseline collapsed in front of me.
I looked down at Roseline and said.
"What do I have to do for me to love you?"
"You... you'll regret this."
I was an idiot to expect a proper answer.
I thought she might say something a little different.
"...Still, if you stay here, and beg my forgiveness by my side... I might consider it a little... Riehen, Riehen! Riehen... don't go......"
It was a small, tearful voice, but it sounded strangely clear.
"Why aren't you listening to me? I didn't do anything wrong. You're the bad one. You're the bad one for not listening to me."
I fled the spot as if escaping, because I didn't want to hear it.
* * *
I felt sorry for Rione, but I left without a word, taking the Gryan family carriage.
Since I had no luggage, I just needed to leave with my body, so there was no big problem.
It was a time when the coachman would be sound asleep, so I personally sat on the coachman's seat, whipped the horses, and drove the carriage.
Anyway, once I left the Monbern family estate, I finally felt like I could breathe a little easier.
Especially just the thought of not having to see Roseline's or Rione's faces anymore... made me feel a tiny bit better.
The scenery flowed by as if blurred.
The acidic smoke of my tobacco also drifted away with the wind.
My chest burned slightly with each inhale of smoke.
Did I catch a lung disease? It would be better if I just died like this.
I had been driving the carriage and traveling for several days like that.
I hadn't stayed up all night, but it felt like a week had passed.
However, I didn't feel like going fast.
There was no hurry, and just... the sense of liberation that came from the feeling of having escaped was incredibly refreshing.
To the point where living my whole life just driving horses like this didn't seem so bad.
So, I slowly drove the horses, looking at the surrounding scenery, and as always, lit up a smoke.
Then... suddenly, a light flew through the air.
Bang!
Instantly, my ears went deaf, and my vision turned stark white.
Something flew in and exploded.
A thick cloud of dust rose up, and I was sprawled on the ground.
And because the carriage had been completely blown to pieces, fragments of broken wood scattered everywhere, and something must have pierced my neck.
Feeling the foreign object lodged in my neck... it was a large splinter of wood.
Tinnitus rang in my ears.
Gasp, gasp.
Even when I tried to inhale, only those sounds escaped my throat.
Even when I opened my mouth to try and say something, only salty blood welled up.
My fingertips trembled uncontrollably.
The tobacco still clutched between my fingers rolled helplessly onto the ground.
"The coachman looks like he's about to die... hmm, no one else is inside?"
"...The client said the target left with this carriage, what nonsense is that?"
The smell of smoke and blood mingled, stinging my nose.
"『Riehen, tell me you love me. Don't be shy, just say you love me, okay? There's no reason to be shy. It's more than you deserve. This time, Riehen, tell me you can't live without me. You're nothing without me, aren't you? At least you can get by like this because you're my fiancé. What does it matter if you're a Gryan? You have no talent. You're not even good with a sword. It's just... because you're my fiancé, that's why you're even living like this. So, Riehen, you can't live without me, can you? You're nothing without me, right? Heh, good answer. If you just keep listening to me... I'll love you anytime.』"
[Synchronization Rate Increased! 0.1%↑]
...I'm sick of it. I don't want to hear anything.
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