WeTried Translations
Translator: Goku
Editor: Sty
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The War Hero in the NTR Game Wants to Die ◈
Chapter 008
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Lingering Ties (2)
"It's been a while."
As I spoke first, Roseline averted her gaze, looking a little awkward.
The garden, far from the ballroom's lights, was strangely dark.
Music drifting from afar blurred faintly into the night air.
"......May I sit next to you?"
When I moved aside slightly, Roseline adjusted her skirt and sat down next to me.
As her clothes rustled slightly, the distinctive floral scent of her perfume wafted past my nose.
It was a familiar scent.
Once, I might have found it very fragrant, but now it just felt distant.
"If you weren't wearing that outfit earlier, I wouldn't have recognized you."
"Outfit?"
"Yeah, the family crest is on your clothes."
"...Ah. This?"
The Gryan family crest was embroidered on my chest.
I considered tearing it off out of annoyance, but left it.
"You've changed quite a bit... It's like you're a different person."
"Because I've been to a place that would change a person."
"......The battlefield, you mean. Even so, you seem... too thin, don't you? It's been quite a while since you returned."
"Food doesn't go down easily."
"That's a big problem."
"Yeah, it is a big problem."
Perhaps she was stressed because I wasn't responding. Roseline bit her fingernail mid-sentence.
"I heard you were active on the Northern Front."
"I was quite active."
"They say that whenever a battle broke out, you'd cut down dozens alone without a scratch, and never lost when fighting enemy commanders......"
"Mm."
"Surely it's just rumors, or commoners exaggerating when they wrote articles... something like that, right?"
"Roseline."
"Yes."
"Does that matter?"
"......"
I took a cigar from its box, clamped it in my mouth, and lit it.
A considerable amount of time passed until it lit and smoke began to rise, yet Roseline didn't utter a single word.
The grayish-white smoke slowly unfurled into the darkness.
Roseline merely watched the scene, an awkward expression on her face.
"You've certainly changed a lot, Riehen. If someone said you were the same person as before... I wouldn't believe it."
I wouldn't be the same person as before, would I?
Because I wouldn't be Riehen.
"Still... everything I heard was... too exaggerated, so I wondered what it would be like to hear it directly from you."
"Why, should I imitate those obnoxious knights who boast of their heroic tales when drunk?"
"Your tone has become a bit aggressive. Is it because you mingled with commoners on the front lines?"
"If you say so, then it must be."
"Riehen."
"What, stop acting so serious and just say what you want to say."
"......Your attitude has been quite off since earlier, hasn't it?"
"Or should I speak more formally to you, Lady Avenberg?"
"......Ha. Just call me Roseline, like you used to."
"After breaking off the engagement, I can't do that, can I?"
"Well, that was...!"
Though I was snapping back answers, I wanted to run away.
How should I put it, my heart was pounding.
Not the pounding feeling when you fall in love... but more like the sensation of your heart racing when you see something that makes you uncomfortable, something you want to avoid.
There must still be some affection left.
Riehen must have felt affection for Roseline, and Roseline for Riehen.
They met often, and even after getting engaged as children, they were quite a good match.
But in front of Roseline, I was always flawed.
Because Riehen Gryan was nothing without Gryan.
In front of Roseline, Riehen was nothing.
And Roseline didn't particularly deny it either.
Although she didn't explicitly say it, she also didn't deny that Riehen was the trash of the Gryan Ducal House.
We weren't lovers who would embrace and love each other... but fiancés to further the family's prosperity.
So, there was no way there was love between us.
It would be different if there had been a little affection in it.
Riehen lived in a world where even that much was enough.
Just as I told Rione... in a world where no one would properly give love.
"Because I thought there was no way you'd come back alive. Because I naturally thought you would die...!"
Roseline sighed mid-sentence and spoke soothingly.
"Riehen, you know. You know... what kind of person you were."
Then, a faint smile playing on her lips, she slowly continued.
"You know it couldn't be helped because of the family, right? Even at the Academy, there's no one who doesn't know your level, unable to even join some random knight order... War hero, that's just laughable."
Very lightly, as if it were nothing.
Words that would have hurt Riehen if he had heard them.
"It's just that commoners wanted to sell the Gryan family's name in the war, so they added a line or two, and somehow the rumor grew."
Indeed, she was a woman who could calmly utter such words.
A woman who looked down on Riehen, yet allowed him by her side.
Because Riehen was a Gryan.
That's why... when the engagement was broken, I naturally took it for granted.
Because a Gryan who would soon die would be useless.
My former fiancée seemed to find it difficult to look at my face, so she lowered her head and muttered as she continued.
"Still... it might be helpful because of you!"
"Roseline"
"I don't care about such things, and I've always thought of even that unsightly appearance as being you, Riehen."
"Roseline."
"There's no one else who will love you, Riehen, but me. I must have been the only one who cried when you died. Even though you've returned alive like this, you still have no one else around you besides me......"
"......Roseline."
When I spoke with a sigh, Roseline finally raised her head.
"Ah, right. Sorry... I've been talking too much about myself, haven't I?"
"So what is it you want to say?"
"Let's pretend the broken engagement never happened!"
But... what is she saying now? With a burning feeling in my gut, I drew in smoke.
If I kept talking, I felt like I would scream.
"So... you mean... if we say it never happened, it never happened?"
"Why, you like me too, don't you? And do you have a better match than me?"
"Stop talking nonsense."
"......Why?"
"Because I'm leaving the family. Without the Gryan name, you're pretty useless too."
"...It doesn't matter, whether you leave the mansion or not, you're still a Gryan."
"It's not like you're a kid going to a social gathering for the first time, shouldn't you understand when I put it mildly?"
"......Are you talking about me right now?"
"Then who else is here besides you?"
Perhaps I should be grateful for all the deaths I've experienced so far.
If I hadn't died that many times, I'd still be stammering in front of Roseline.
Death had dulled many things.
And... seeing that my heart is still pounding in front of this woman... to Riehen, this woman was as frightening as death itself.
Because next to her, I felt pathetic.
Always becoming something insignificant.
And the other person... doesn't deny it.
At times like that, it feels as if my humanity is being denied.
Because the thought of becoming a stud for continuing the bloodline fills my head.
More than meeting someone, loving, and having children to continue the bloodline... I wanted to be free.
"Roseline. I don't want to be with you."
"......"
"I don't want to marry a woman like you. That's what I'm saying right now, don't you understand?"
As soon as she heard those words, Roseline stood up.
And slowly approached me, looking at me.
She met my eyes and didn't look away.
As if she truly didn't understand.
"......Why?"
"Because if I were to be intimate with you, I feel like I'd just have to leave behind a seed without a single loving word, and every morning would be hell."
Her arms trembling, she tried to utter something, then shut her mouth again and bit her lip.
"If I had died anyway, you would have ended up with another man. Just think of me as dead and move on with someone else."
I thought after saying this much, Roseline would either get angry or just leave.
However... her reaction was a little different.
"I mean, why are you pushing me away? Did you think I would get hurt by words like that and back down?"
Roseline, who had somehow gotten right in front of my nose.
"What?"
"Hey, Riehen. Do you have another woman? There weren't any women among those dragged to the front lines... Did you even have a child?"
"......"
"No, well, it doesn't matter, but let's get back together. I won't meet any other man. Don't play hard to get with such childish antics."
Saying so, she took the cigar from my mouth and slowly pulled it away.
"Given your standing, isn't someone like me enough? I'll be a devoted wife, and I won't raise our child according to your idiotic Gryan family traditions, so let's just pretend the engagement was never broken."
She looked at the tip of the smoking cigar, not meeting my gaze, and continued.
"Or have you really come to hate me?"
"Do you really need an answer?"
Hearing my words, Roseline lightly bit the cigar she had taken from me with her lips and drew in smoke.
"If you had just continued to live as I wished, as I wanted... I could have given you a moderate amount of love, so why did you suddenly change?"
"......"
"Hey, Riehen. Why are you trying to escape my grasp? Weren't you comfortable by my side?"
Roseline coughed lightly, exhaled smoke, and looked up at me.
Only her right eye was trembling uncontrollably.
As if she couldn't understand what was happening, no matter how much she thought.
"Don't go."
So... I left the spot.
Because it seemed pointless to stay and talk any further.
"...I said, don't go."
Even as Roseline spoke, she never followed me herself.
"......Please don't go."
Because she would naturally assume I would listen to her and return.
If it were Riehen, he would have listened.
Because he's a son of a bitch.
Because he's a son of a bitch who barks when his master tells him to.
Because he's the fucked-up son of a bitch this world dumped me as.
At least I wasn't that kind of son of a bitch.
I'd rather die than live like that.
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