WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 173: If I Hear the Dao in the Morning, I Can Die by Evening (13)
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Hwagokja asked Chungdam True Man,
“Martial Uncle. What is a heart demon?”
“When the mind looks upon the world and becomes attached to one side, a distortion arises. A heart demon grows from that place.”
“Then a heart demon is something one creates oneself.”
“Yes. Yet not entirely. At times, a demon seed from outside takes root within that distortion.”
“Then it is the work of a Strange Ghost or a fiendish demon.”
“Yes. Yet not entirely. The demon seed may come from outside, but in the end, it feeds on me and grows within me. The entirety of the world it knows is only ‘me.’ It wears my face and speaks in my voice, so how could I distinguish it from myself? In the end, it becomes ‘me.’”
“...Is it a kind of parasite?”
“That is why a demon is addition and transformation.”
Something added.
Something changed.
Hwagokja asked,
“Then what is the case with Hero Yeon?”
“The demon seed has taken deep root.”
“This is serious...”
“If it is not corrected now, the world will be stained with blood. So it must be torn down.”
“...You mean everything he has built until now must be torn down?”
“Yes. That is Wudang’s method of cultivation. But...”
Chungdam True Man’s gaze drifted into the distance.
It traced the faraway place beyond which seven-colored auspicious radiance had passed.
“It would be a pity.”
Hwagokja asked again,
“Is there no other way?”
“There is. He must be made to see the point where he breaks. It is the method of that fellow who styles himself a sword-wielding emperor.”
“You mean the Sword Emperor. The point where one breaks...”
“Yes. But the more exceptional one is, the harder one is to break.”
Chungdam clasped his hands behind his back and looked up at the sky.
“The Dao cannot be fully grasped through questions and answers to begin with...”
Just as one could not catch the sky in a net.
Just as the sky ceased to be sky once it was entirely wrapped up and sealed away.
“One must feel it with the heart.”
So it had to be torn down.
Or it had to be broken.
“I must change methods. I told him to do nothing, and he only pursued Exhaustive Inquiry more diligently. It would be better to give him something to do. If even that fails...”
Chungdam True Man took a wooden box from his robes.
“I will have to use this.”
Chungdam True Man’s gaze quietly deepened.
* * *
Yeon Sowol faced Chungdam True Man, who had come to see him again.
‘Where had he been watching from?’
Not even a month had passed, yet he appeared as soon as Yeon Sowol had sorted out his realization.
Better this way.
“Master! This time, I’ve really attained a realization!”
Excited, Yeon Sowol explained his realization.
His universe now contained uncertainty. It held truths that could not be captured in words.
Chungdam True Man listened quietly before asking,
“Is that so? You attained a realization?”
“Yes, Master. It is all thanks to you.”
“Then you have contained the universe within yourself.”
“I am ashamed to say it, but it has improved greatly.”
“Then does that universe of yours exist even without you?”
“...What?”
Yeon Sowol’s expression turned serious.
Would my universe exist without me?
‘Of course not. I made it and contain it, so if I am gone, my universe will be gone too.’
But then, was it a universe?
Was a universe something that could exist or not exist depending on whether a single being existed?
‘Wait...?’
He felt slightly dizzy.
Chungdam True Man said to him,
“Bring me the ugliest stone on this hill.”
“What?”
“I will return in a week.”
Whoosh!
Chungdam True Man vanished.
“...The ugliest stone?”
Out of nowhere?
Yeon Sowol let out a long sigh.
Still, unlike before, he had been drinking water, hunting and eating meat, and bathing in the valley.
His complexion was healthy, and he was full of energy.
Though he was bewildered.
“Still, let’s think it through.”
Yeon Sowol sank into deep thought.
“What could it mean this time?”
Last time, Chungdam had told him to do nothing. This time, he was telling him to find the ugliest stone.
What was he supposed to realize from this?
“Am I still lacking in realizations...?”
It certainly was not easy.
It was even harder because the direction was unclear.
But still.
“I can handle it.”
Hwagokja had said that Chungdam True Man’s teachings were difficult enough to make even Hwagokja want to give up sometimes.
But Yeon Sowol had not reached that point yet.
Perhaps the countless training sessions and heart demons he had endured had tempered him.
“I’ll search again.”
Instead, Yeon Sowol’s determination blazed hotter.
* * *
A week passed.
“Master. This is the ugliest stone on this hill.”
What Yeon Sowol took out was a fragment of the wish-granting pearl from within his robes.
“This is a horrific object, crafted by an evil Flood Dragon using human lives. It also happens to be on this hill.”
Chungdam True Man stared at the wish-granting pearl for a moment, then turned his back.
“I will return in a week.”
“Hmm.”
Behind the departing Chungdam True Man, Yeon Sowol narrowed his eyes.
“That was not it? I thought it was rather convincing. Then I’ll try something else.”
Another week passed.
Yeon Sowol brought the lumpiest, most asymmetrical stone.
“This is the ugliest stone on this hill.”
“I will return.”
Yeon Sowol thought,
‘Well. I figured that was not it. Still, if I eliminate them one at a time, I will eventually reach the answer.’
Another week passed.
Yeon Sowol prepared the smoothest stone.
“I will return.”
Yeon Sowol nodded.
‘So he is not judging ordinary beauty and ugliness. Then he must mean something more philosophical.’
A week passed.
Yeon Sowol brought the most useless stone on the hill. Its weight was awkward, its size was awkward, and its shape was awkward. It was a stone with no use whatsoever.
“The most useless stone is the ugliest stone.”
“I will return in a week.”
The following week, he prepared the most useful stone.
“The most useful stone is the ugliest...”
“I will return.”
That was not it either?
It was neither beauty nor ugliness, nor utility. Then...
As Yeon Sowol pondered, Chungdam True Man turned away and let out a faint sigh. Then he said,
“Try forgetting, just as you did then.”
Just as then?
Yeon Sowol suddenly remembered.
The day he had absentmindedly crossed the line Chungdam True Man had drawn.
Since that day, Yeon Sowol had freely come and gone beyond that line.
‘How did I not think of that?’
Chungdam had told him not to leave, yet he had not scolded Yeon Sowol for leaving.
Could that not have been the clue Chungdam had given him?
“Does he mean I should not become attached...?”
Yeon Sowol sat down where he was.
He seemed to forget himself.
It was a habit he had developed during the days when he had been told to do nothing.
Sometimes, when he sat there until he even forgot that he was thinking, something would suddenly come to him.
Whenever that happened, Yeon Sowol woke from his daze and carefully arranged that feeling into thoughts.
Another week passed.
When Chungdam True Man came, Yeon Sowol simply picked up a stone at his feet.
“This one.”
“...”
For the first time, Chungdam True Man fell silent for a while before asking,
“Why that one?”
Yeon Sowol’s eyes shone as he explained.
“Actually, it does not have to be this one. What matters is not distinguishing between them. Stones simply exist. Where in the world does the distinction between beauty and ugliness exist? Whether I point to this one or that one, it makes no difference.”
“...You are all over the place.”
Chungdam shook his head and left.
“Tch. Was that not it?”
The next week, Yeon Sowol gathered every stone on the hill and dumped them below it.
“...”
Chungdam True Man stared blankly at the sight, and Yeon Sowol proudly said,
“Among these, there is an ugliest stone.”
Chungdam True Man let out a faint sigh.
“Wrong.”
“What?”
How could it be wrong?
Logically?
He had brought every stone.
‘Then there has to be an ugliest stone among them.’
That was the logical conclusion.
“That expression is wrong too.”
Chungdam shook his head and walked away.
“Hmm... So it has nothing to do with logic at all.”
Yeon Sowol nodded to himself and sat down again.
He sat as if he had forgotten himself, and whenever something caught in his mind, he immersed himself in it again. He sorted out his thoughts.
Birds repeatedly flew over, perched nearby, then flew away.
The next week.
“I will not search for it. Being told to find the ugliest stone is only Master’s definition. There is no such thing in this world. Therefore, I will not search.”
“...I will return.”
The week after that.
“I have found it.”
“Where is it?”
“It is in Master’s eyes. The ugliest stone is not on this hill. It is in Master’s heart, which considers it ugly.”
“...You are only getting better at imitation.”
Chungdam True Man left.
Yeon Sowol sighed and sat down once more.
Sinking quietly as though he had forgotten himself, he drew out yet another answer.
It was the last answer he could possibly give.
“Let’s see him shoot this down too.”
Yeon Sowol threw every stone he had brought below the hill beyond the line. He placed the wish-granting pearl from his robes beyond the line as well.
Chungdam came again.
“Where is the ugliest stone?”
“There is none.”
“None?”
“Yes. There are no stones on this hill. I removed them all.”
“...”
Chungdam True Man’s gaze reached the pile of stones beyond the line.
“Heh heh.”
A hollow laugh escaped his lips.
“You are relentless.”
Shaking his head, he turned away.
“Follow me.”
At those words, Yeon Sowol’s face brightened at once.
‘Finally!’
He did not know whether his answer was right or wrong. But either way, he had moved on to another stage. At least he was leaving this hill now.
“Yes!”
Yeon Sowol eagerly followed behind him.
“Put those stones back where they were before you follow.”
“...”
Yeon Sowol looked at the piled stones, then tossed them roughly all over the hill.
“Their original place was the hill, so returning them to the hill should be enough.”
Whoosh! Whoosh!
After throwing them around as if dumping them out, he followed Chungdam True Man down the mountain with light steps.
Chungdam True Man let out a quiet sigh.
“You tear things down without truly tearing them down, and break things without truly breaking them.”
* * *
Wudang’s Sect Leader’s Residence, the Hall of Manifest Dao.
Within its bamboo grove lay a training ground.
Master and disciple sat facing one another there.
“You rascal.”
Chungdam True Man looked at Yeon Sowol.
“It is not that your path is wrong. To endlessly investigate and imitate this world, to imitate it with the greatest possible precision. That too may be one Dao. It is a different path from Wudang’s teachings, but how could there be only one path to the Dao?”
“Then...?”
Yeon Sowol’s face brightened.
For the first time, positive words had come from Chungdam True Man’s mouth.
“The problem is your heart demon.”
A heart demon?
Yeon Sowol’s face stiffened.
He had experienced heart demons several times.
He knew that fear well.
‘A heart demon? Me? Now?’
Yeon Sowol examined himself.
‘...I do not know.’
If anything, he was clearer and sharper than ever. Far from having a heart demon, he felt farther from one than ever before.
Chungdam True Man shook his head.
“Do you still not understand? You believe that if you seek, you must obtain, and that you can obtain it. Is that not so?”
“Well... yes. Is a person’s effort not for the sake of gaining something?”
“That mindset is the problem. In your world, things without names have no place to live.”
Yeon Sowol furrowed his brow.
Not because he rejected those words, but because he had fallen deeply into thought without realizing it.
‘A place for things without names...?’
He could not understand what that meant.
‘Does that not simply mean we do not know enough about them?’
If something had no name, was it not simply a matter of finding one and giving it a name?
“The Dao cannot be fully expressed in words.”
Then should he not dig into it until it could be fully expressed in words?
If he stopped because it could not be fully expressed, would that not be giving up...?
‘And what does any of this have to do with a heart demon?’
But all I want is to learn diligently?
No matter how much he thought about it, he could not understand.
He was not deliberately being contrary.
Yeon Sowol knew Chungdam True Man was an extraordinary person, and he was filled with respect for his master and the desire to learn from him.
But what he could not understand, he could not understand. There was nothing he could do about it.
“You have the face of someone who does not understand his own heart demon.”
“Honestly... that is correct.”
“Take it.”
Chungdam True Man placed a wooden box before Yeon Sowol.
“This is...?”
“It is a Cloud-Dream Elixir. If you take it, you will dream of your heart demon.”
“A dream of my heart demon...?”
“Yes. You will dream of how you will change after your heart demon deepens. Since you have not fully changed yet, you will surely feel something incongruous about the you in that dream.”
Yeon Sowol opened the wooden box.
A bluish elixir pill appeared with a sharp fragrance.
“However, this is dangerous. If you dream of your heart demon, then your heart demon will dream of you as well. That is why I hoped you would realize it yourself before then...”
Chungdam True Man looked at Yeon Sowol with conflicted eyes.
“But there is no other choice now. Take it and find your heart demon yourself.”
Yeon Sowol quietly looked down at the bluish elixir pill before asking,
“But Master. What if I take this and dream, yet feel no incongruity?”
“Then I will have been wrong.”
“I understand.”
Yeon Sowol raised the Cloud-Dream Elixir without hesitation.
‘Now I am curious too.’
What heart demon could he possibly have?
Did he really have one at all?
He met Chungdam True Man’s gaze.
He looked into those calm, unwavering eyes, bowed deeply, and tossed the Cloud-Dream Elixir into his mouth.
It was sharp and faintly sweet, dispersing as lightly as smoke.
Gulp.
Suddenly, his eyelids grew heavy.
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