WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 10: The Mole on the Shoulder # 5
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Clank, clank.
Hammer’s footsteps were loud.
Clatter.
Felix also had a hard time hiding his presence because of the sounds made by his sword, gauntlet, and other equipment.
What about Hermit?
“Huff, haa...”
“Hey, if you breathe like that, they’ll hear you.”
“...Then how am I supposed to breathe? I’ve never tried breathing quietly.”
She did not even know how to silence her breathing.
In the end, I was the only one who could walk quietly and stealthily through this place.
“Yore, you were right that those Church bastards can’t see well and are sensitive to sound. Someone as quiet as you might be able to do it without getting caught, but... are you really okay going alone?”
“If it seems impossible, I’ll just come back. Just tell me where I should go after I get the hat.”
“Alright. I’ll mark it all on the map.”
Hammer took out a handkerchief.
Dipping a finger in the blood of the octopus monsters, Hammer drew circles in several places on the map.
“There’s only one exit nearby, right here. The other one is underground, but this university’s basement is a truly dangerous place. Even we don’t go down there, so only use it as a last resort if you really think you’re going to die.”
“Yes! Then I’ll get going. It’s only a head rolling around. If I hurry, I should catch it quickly.”
Hoo.
I took a light breath and set off.
Only after I turned a corner and everyone was out of sight did I speak quietly.
“Asibarr. Are you there?”
【Kehhehe, yes. A quiet place like this is good if you wish to call upon the idols.】
Whoooosh.
Asibarr approached me, wrapped in black mist.
Asibarr looked like a dwarf clutching a severed head.
Still surreal.
“Can I buy that skill you showed me before, Black Foot?”
【Yes, but I do not recommend it right now.】
“What? Why not?”
【My Blessed, you can easily shake off those foolish seafood hosts. You do not need Black Foot.】
“You’re not lying, are you?”
【Kehhehe, I wish to trade with you for a long time. Would I make you stumble in this den of sticky tentacles? Never! Trust me!】
I had felt this before, but talking to Asibarr felt like talking to a con artist.
Just as suspicion began to creep in for no reason, Asibarr laughed.
“Kehhehe.”
【You’re still such a wary child. Wary people live longer, so that is good. It is my role to persuade you. Give me the tentacles you have, and I will give you Black Eyes.】
“Black Eyes?”
【Eyes that let you see better in darkness. Eyes that let you see clearly in sunless basements and nights where even the stars do not shine. What do you think? This is better for now.】
It sounded useful just from the description.
But I wondered why Asibarr wanted Octopus tentacles.
“Are these tentacles expensive?”
【What would they even be used for? But I like them. I enjoy their chewy texture. Blessed, remember that idols like me can trade for things besides Ether, depending on each idol’s personal tastes.】
I held out around a hundred Octopus tentacles I had collected.
Asibarr lifted the severed head, then spat into my eyes.
“Ugh, filthy!”
Was I scammed after all?
I wiped the spit away with my sleeve.
Then...
Whoosh.
When I opened my eyes, the world looked much brighter.
Maybe I really could do this.
“Couldn’t you bestow a blessing in a more gentlemanly way?”
Now then, where did I need to go to find the hat?
As I thought that, my improved eyes spotted a blood trail dragging across the floor.
It seemed to be blood flowing from One-Eye’s severed neck.
I was lucky to find such a valuable clue so quickly.
Without Asibarr’s Black Eyes, I might have passed right by it.
It was a good thing I had collected those tentacles!
Ssssss.
Asibarr scattered like smoke as it spoke.
【But remember, Blessed. Idols are fickle beings. Those who call an idol empty-handed may have to pay the price.】
“Yes. I’ll remember that!”
# # #
The blood trail led underground.
Hammer had told me not to go underground.
Not that I was the kind of person who listened to advice like that.
“Naglatan.”
“Walu-walu.”
“Narbada.”
There were stairs and corridors leading underground.
Sometimes monsters babbling incomprehensible words appeared, but if I held my breath, stood on tiptoe, and crept along, they did not notice me even when I followed right behind them.
Maybe I really did not need Black Foot.
The more important problem was the shards of glass scattered across the floor and traps with strings attached to them.
Not a single torch was lit in the corridor.
Without eyes that could see so clearly in the dark, I would not have dared walk through here.
‘Asibarr, I was going to complain because you didn’t tell me Star Key charged an extra fee every time I used it. I’ll let it go this time.’
I threatened invisible Asibarr in my mind.
After walking for a while, I saw a head wearing a pointed hat rolling around in the basement.
‘Found you, thieving bastard!’
How dare you steal our mage’s hat?
All our valuable things were in there.
Because of thieving bastards like you, even an honest man like me gets a bad name.
I crept closer and closer, held my breath, then...
“...”
Swish!
I snatched the pointed hat off the head.
“Waluwaluwaluwaluwaluwaluwalu.”
But unlike what I expected, it did not make a scene. It only babbled incomprehensible words.
When I glanced at it, its already vicious face had melted until it no longer looked human, like soft seafood.
Ugh, fuck. Was this what happened if you stayed at this university for too long?
Street thieves and universities really did not belong together.
Either way, I had the hat.
‘Now I just need to find the exit.’
Flap.
I unfolded the map.
Then a problem appeared.
‘What is this?’
Was it because of the damp, humid environment?
The handkerchief map had blurred all over, and I could not make out where the exit was marked.
I was fucked.
A chill ran down my spine.
Just moments ago, this basement had felt hot.
Now, it felt as though the temperature had suddenly dropped.
‘Get a grip. The exit has to be somewhere nearby.’
Fortunately, the basement was not very large.
It was full of thick iron doors, probably because it had been used as a prison. Whether it was good luck or bad luck, I had plenty of experience with prisons, so I could move through the underground facility with familiarity and stealth.
‘Basement prisons usually have ventilation shafts. Ones you can crawl through.’
As I crawled through the ventilation shafts, I spotted a closed iron door.
All the other cells were empty and open. This was the only closed door.
A saying I had heard on the streets came to mind.
A closed door has a reason.
There were usually valuable things beyond it.
So I carefully approached the iron bars and inserted a lockpick into the keyhole.
“Do you want to unlock it?”
“Cost: 1,000 Ether”
“Success Chance: Less than 1%”
Click.
I heard the lock release.
It said the success chance was below one percent, yet I had succeeded on the first try twice in a row.
‘Lucky me.’
Soon, a room surrounded by pitch-black stone walls appeared before me.
On the floor, a circular pattern of strange markings glowed with a low uuuung.
‘Where have I seen that before?’
I pulled a book from my bag.
It was The Key to Sorcery and Prayer, the book Hermit had shown me.
As I flipped through the book I had read last night...
“Well, well. A handsome fellow with all four limbs intact has come looking for me.”
Flinch!
Only then did I realize there was someone in the corner of the room.
An octopus monster?
I stopped short when I saw the chains rattling around her hands and legs.
A woman with all four limbs chained to the wall.
Her face was wrapped in bandages, but her chest was large compared to her thin body.
‘A woman.’
Damn it. Why were men such pathetic creatures?
Even in a situation like this, my eyes went straight to her chest.
It was because I had no experience with women.
Maybe I would get better once I became used to women.
In the pitch-black darkness, I felt like the woman was clearly looking at me.
Her gaze traveled from my head down to my feet, then rested on the book.
“Ooh. That’s my book. Did you come seeking my teachings?”
“...Your book?”
“Yes. I am Estelle, the author of The Key to Sorcery and Prayer.”
Was this real or bullshit?
Then my Black Eyes spotted the woman’s exposed shoulder beneath her ragged clothes.
There was a Star-shaped white mole.
“Oh, oh?”
I flipped through the book and examined the illustration of a naked woman spread-eagled, her limbs forming the Chinese character for "big."
A Star-shaped white mole on her left shoulder.
“Oooh?”
“So what teaching did you seek from me by coming all the way to the basement of this sinister building? I hope it is not an ordinary question. You are a hero who defeated that golem and came all the way here.”
“A golem?”
“Yes, the monster guarding the upper floors. The university’s guardian. A boss monster.”
“Oh, that thing!”
“Hmmm?”
The woman’s eyes gleamed strangely in the darkness.
Damn it!
Only then did I realize my fatal habit.
I had a hard time lying in front of pretty women.
The bigger a woman’s chest was, the more honest I became!
“Looking at you, it seems you came here without defeating the golem. You are not a hero, but a thief. Interesting.”
Thieves were cockroaches.
When women saw thieves hiding in the dark, they screamed as if they had seen cockroaches, grabbed a slipper, and beat the thief with it wildly.
What if Estelle screamed too? That would make everything complicated, so I tightly gripped the handle of my dagger.
“Did you perhaps read the book I hid somewhere in this university, Shadow Stomp?”
“The one that reduces the sound of your footsteps?”
“Yes.”
I had wondered why a magic university had a thief-type skill book.
So the woman in front of me had hidden it there.
“There is a jewel I want somewhere in this university. But the Pope’s Guards are so vicious that I needed to walk quietly. That is why I went through so much trouble to obtain that book.”
“Isn’t a thief skill book useless to a mage?”
“Yes, it really was. That is why I ended up imprisoned like this. I have been so bored I could die. Then you came along, so you have no idea how entertaining this is.”
I knew because I had been imprisoned plenty of times.
When you were locked in a pitch-black solitary cell, finding ways to kill time alone could be more painful than being beaten.
“Then, my disciple. Are you finished with your questions?”
Wait.
What? Disciple?
“...When did I become your disciple, Estelle?”
Author’s Note
August 8...!!! A reader sent support...!!!
Ahh!!! Thank you, firne yui, for sending a King Coin...!!!
Please check the announcements for the full thanks list...!!!
There is... one more chapter today...!!!
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